My son had cancer when he was 2. Tumor left him visually impaired - significantly so although he's developed an incredible amount of functional vision. Chemotherapy caused a stroke that has left him with r side hemiplegia and developmentally disabled. At some point he lost a lot of hearing too, no one knows why. He has cool, modern hearing aids but won't wear them.

So now he's 18, healthy, 6 ft, 4 in. tall, rows crew, and super, super sweet. I think he's pretty cute. He's the strongest person I know, clever and funny. Middle and High School have been tough on him and he really doesn't have any friends. He's unconnected socially, except to me and his family, and our friends. He's got good connections with his teachers, and many other adults, but it's more about people taking an interest in him and breaking through his barriers, not about him trying, if you know what I mean.

Obviously I think he's got a lot to offer other people, but he's been rejected so often he has retreated (and the bad vision/hearing plus no hearing aids helps him live inside a private bubble).

This fall he'll start his senior year. I wonder if I shouldn't give one last push to encourage him connect socially, either at his school or on his crew team. Although there are plenty of assholes, it's a big school and I know there are good kids there, especially on his crew team.

I'm wondering, should I encourage him to go to counseling to work through his social issues? Should I try another tactic? Should I leave him be? I'm a mom, he's at a big turning point in his life, and I worry.

I a similar question on r/disabled but no one replied (it's a small subreddit). Are there other subreddits I should post this on?

Thanks!