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Cousin is going to lose all of his sight. How can I help him? (self.Blind)
submitted 8y ago by help_my_cousin1111
My cousin was in a car accident and his vision is going pretty quickly. He has been told that he will lose all of it. How can I help him, both in adjusting and just in a practical sense?
I should also say that though we've always been close, he's in quite a bit of denial about this and doesn't really want to talk about it with me. I don't want to push him, I just want to be ready to help. We're both sophomores in college (at the same school).
Personal advice or just good resources would both be extremely appreciated.
I should also say that though we've always been close, he's in quite a bit of denial about this and doesn't really want to talk about it with me. I don't want to push him, I just want to be ready to help. We're both sophomores in college (at the same school).
Personal advice or just good resources would both be extremely appreciated.
Nighthawk321 7 points
Man, in college, that's going to be rough. I really hate to say this, but he may need to take a semester or year off to learn the skills he needs to be independent. Sure he could probably get through if someone guided him around, read everything to him, and wrote everything down for him, but that's just degrading. First off, he needs to get oriented with computers and screen reading software. I recommend NVDA, although some people use JAWS, witch costs about 1000 dollars and does the same as NVDA, witch is free. He'll also need to learn braille. Logically speaking, if he wants to continue his education, he won't reading braille for his assignments; it takes years to get fast at it, and it's very inconvenient. He'll also need to get a cane, and learn how to use it. I believe there are several programs to help recently blinded people, perhaps he should sign up for one of those. I hope this helped and let me know if you have anymore questions.
help_my_cousin1111 [OP] 1 points
Damn, after reading all of this I think you're right. I will try to figure out how to get that across to him or his family.
And I will start looking into NVDA. Maybe it would help if I have some experience with it.
Thank you for your help! I'm sure I will have more questions as this progresses, so I may contact you.
And I will start looking into NVDA. Maybe it would help if I have some experience with it.
Thank you for your help! I'm sure I will have more questions as this progresses, so I may contact you.
Nighthawk321 1 points
Yup, don't hesitate for a second.
Bob_0119 3 points
I think you are on the right track, and I am so sorry to hear about his accident. Denial is something I am *very* familiar with and I was born with bad eyesight! I pushed away many who tried to "help" especially at that age. I wanted nothing to do with assistance devices and really just didn't want people to treat me like a person with a disability.
My younger brother knew exactly how to "handle" me but he had many, many years to learn. He never treated me like someone who was disabled, but he always knew just when I needed help. Like for example, when we'd go to fast food places, instead of simply reading the menu to me, he'd "make suggestions" based on the food he knew I liked. He might say "that bacon-cheeseburger sounds good" or something to that effect. He learned how to read my body language and sometimes he'd just ask "whatcha lookin' at?"
He never forced help on me; that was key. He was just always there. I always felt comfortable around him largely because he never treated me like I wasn't capable. I use the past-tense because he was taken from me in an accident back in 2005 (I'm crying as I type this, I still miss him).
My point is, don't force him to talk. It'll come and it'll be hard on the both of you. Don't give up on him when he lashes out. Just be there for him and believe me that will be enough
My younger brother knew exactly how to "handle" me but he had many, many years to learn. He never treated me like someone who was disabled, but he always knew just when I needed help. Like for example, when we'd go to fast food places, instead of simply reading the menu to me, he'd "make suggestions" based on the food he knew I liked. He might say "that bacon-cheeseburger sounds good" or something to that effect. He learned how to read my body language and sometimes he'd just ask "whatcha lookin' at?"
He never forced help on me; that was key. He was just always there. I always felt comfortable around him largely because he never treated me like I wasn't capable. I use the past-tense because he was taken from me in an accident back in 2005 (I'm crying as I type this, I still miss him).
My point is, don't force him to talk. It'll come and it'll be hard on the both of you. Don't give up on him when he lashes out. Just be there for him and believe me that will be enough
help_my_cousin1111 [OP] 3 points
Oh my god, I'm so sorry about your brother =(. I was reading your reply and thinking to myself how great it was that you have him. It really got me when I read the part about the accident... I wish I had something comforting to offer.
I do want to say how thankful I am that you shared that. I was really hoping that someone would have this kind of advice - on how to be there for my cousin. I think this really helps and I will do my best to be half as great as your brother!
I do want to say how thankful I am that you shared that. I was really hoping that someone would have this kind of advice - on how to be there for my cousin. I think this really helps and I will do my best to be half as great as your brother!
Unuhi 2 points
What country does he live in?
Get in touch with AFB and NFB (USA), RNIB (UK) - or whatever local and national resources are available.
Orientation & mobility training, braille literacy & blind computer skills are vital.
There are mant blind/VI groups in Facebook and many blind users in twitter. Those will be comfortable - as it helps to find friends who have gone thru similar experiences.
Get in touch with AFB and NFB (USA), RNIB (UK) - or whatever local and national resources are available.
Orientation & mobility training, braille literacy & blind computer skills are vital.
There are mant blind/VI groups in Facebook and many blind users in twitter. Those will be comfortable - as it helps to find friends who have gone thru similar experiences.
help_my_cousin1111 [OP] 1 points
Thank you for the resources! We are in the US, so I will contact those organizations.
I should also try to find some support groups as you suggested. It makes a lot of sense to try to meet people who have gone through something similar. Fortunately, we go to school in a major city, so there should be some available.
Thank you so much!
I should also try to find some support groups as you suggested. It makes a lot of sense to try to meet people who have gone through something similar. Fortunately, we go to school in a major city, so there should be some available.
Thank you so much!
Unuhi 3 points
Glad to help.
Facebook and twitter can be really good - even more so than for ʻregularly abledʻ people so ʻmake sure he explores and gets comfortable online. So many blind and visually impaired use twitter. Just find cool resources and get started.
So many groups also for both blind & friends.
He may - and probably will - some friends to whom his inability to see the world with eyes is too much. (That happens with any disability unfortunately) But there will be new friends.
And you can still do all kinds of cool stuff with friends - anything really (except driving a car). Watch movies, read books (audiobooks are nice, and so much faster to read than braille until you get a lot of practice) - and even regular libraries have so many audiobooks. Shping, going out to eat with friends, sports, cooking together - thatʻs all good stuff.
Stay close to him when needed. Listen, just be there.
And he might like blogging or doing some arts too.
Learn to laugh at small and big accidents in life.
The other night i was looking for my wine glass for nearly 15 minutes. It had red wine in it. I donʻt live in a big apartment and i just couldnʻt find it.
And it took me 30 minutes to find to the other side of the block to the last web accessibility meeting (Iʻm guessing it would have been a 2-3 minute walk). Adventure time ;)
I put some beepers on my headphones and ipad case so i can find them - and often accessibility translates to "where is my ipad?".
You can get those beepers from Braille Bookstore online, $15 for 3 (pretty good deal I think). Also a simple talking watch is just around $10, and they have so many other cool gadgets too. No-tie shoelaces are available in many styles and colors, cooking and measuring tools make cooking easier...
Maxiaids.com has so many cool products too. I have many colors of shades for indoors and outdoors (NoIR and Cocoon low vision); those help so much when lights hurt your eyes and head (and I think itʻs pretty cool to wear wild color shades).
A good phone is helpful too.
Iphone is amazing with itsccessibility features, VoiceOver, zoom text, inverted colors etc. try with all accessibility features until he finds comfortable settings for him.
He can also use BeMyEyes to ask for a spare set of eyes to help with some task that needs some eye help, then thereʻs TapTapSee, Blindsquare...
Facebook and twitter can be really good - even more so than for ʻregularly abledʻ people so ʻmake sure he explores and gets comfortable online. So many blind and visually impaired use twitter. Just find cool resources and get started.
So many groups also for both blind & friends.
He may - and probably will - some friends to whom his inability to see the world with eyes is too much. (That happens with any disability unfortunately) But there will be new friends.
And you can still do all kinds of cool stuff with friends - anything really (except driving a car). Watch movies, read books (audiobooks are nice, and so much faster to read than braille until you get a lot of practice) - and even regular libraries have so many audiobooks. Shping, going out to eat with friends, sports, cooking together - thatʻs all good stuff.
Stay close to him when needed. Listen, just be there.
And he might like blogging or doing some arts too.
Learn to laugh at small and big accidents in life.
The other night i was looking for my wine glass for nearly 15 minutes. It had red wine in it. I donʻt live in a big apartment and i just couldnʻt find it.
And it took me 30 minutes to find to the other side of the block to the last web accessibility meeting (Iʻm guessing it would have been a 2-3 minute walk). Adventure time ;)
I put some beepers on my headphones and ipad case so i can find them - and often accessibility translates to "where is my ipad?".
You can get those beepers from Braille Bookstore online, $15 for 3 (pretty good deal I think). Also a simple talking watch is just around $10, and they have so many other cool gadgets too. No-tie shoelaces are available in many styles and colors, cooking and measuring tools make cooking easier...
Maxiaids.com has so many cool products too. I have many colors of shades for indoors and outdoors (NoIR and Cocoon low vision); those help so much when lights hurt your eyes and head (and I think itʻs pretty cool to wear wild color shades).
A good phone is helpful too.
Iphone is amazing with itsccessibility features, VoiceOver, zoom text, inverted colors etc. try with all accessibility features until he finds comfortable settings for him.
He can also use BeMyEyes to ask for a spare set of eyes to help with some task that needs some eye help, then thereʻs TapTapSee, Blindsquare...
jage9 2 points
What city? Being in a major city helps a lot, it also means there's likely good public transit for getting around. Ultimately, it'll be about attitude, and hopefully taking the situation in stride as the longer they wait to get skills and training, the more depressed they'll likely be.
help_my_cousin1111 [OP] 1 points
I'd rather not say exactly which city, sorry =p. Public transit is kind of meh here, but I will try to learn a bit more about the options we've got. Thank you because that is something I did not think about.
About attitude - yeah that's what I figured. He's a pretty positive guy, but it's hard to know how he'll take it as things get worse...
About attitude - yeah that's what I figured. He's a pretty positive guy, but it's hard to know how he'll take it as things get worse...
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