Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Struggling with identity, suddenly (self.Blind)
submitted 8y ago by lookaheadfcsus
Hi /r/blind.
The title says a lot of it, I suppose. Let me elaborate a bit further.
So basically, my optic nerve is supposedly in shreds. This is called hypoplasia? It sounds like it.
It was noticed at aIn early age. Apparently I was lousy at ball sports, and I was wheeled off for checkups. Turns out there was a good reason for that. I´ve heard a few different things said during my life, but the most certain is probably that my sight unaided was 6/60 (I think this is 20/200 in the US) during my teens.
So.. I found out that some could be corrected via LASIK. Near-sightedness, and a few other things. It was done, and I'm very happy about the result. This was done about five years ago now. Apparently, I'm now at 20/50 (US). 40% vision.
And.. These days, I find that I'm struggling a bit with identity. Aside (or because of) the hypoplasia, I have a case of nystagmus as well. So even though things have gotten a lot better, I still fumble around. I still miss things, I'm anxious when out eating - not always being able to find bathrooms, not recognizing people.. Those things. I strain. I look awkward in my null position, trying to amke the world stop moving for just a second. Last try at education failed horribly, due to not being able to work fast enough because of all these things.
So.. I spent the last couple of days with some wonderful people at a danish institute called IBOS, who provide and assist us with instructions, tools, courses on how to deal with things, not always being able to see them. And basically.. All of these other people were rather worse off than myself.
Yet, I still use visual aids. At least.. After this, I do. They're making things easier for me. Much easier. And the things we were provided will especially help during school, for the next years. But still.. I just feel like I'm falling somewhere between two chairs. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. And I don't know what I'm expecting from this post, but I at least needed to tell someone.
I'm 29 and male, in case someone is interested in those things.
The title says a lot of it, I suppose. Let me elaborate a bit further.
So basically, my optic nerve is supposedly in shreds. This is called hypoplasia? It sounds like it.
It was noticed at aIn early age. Apparently I was lousy at ball sports, and I was wheeled off for checkups. Turns out there was a good reason for that. I´ve heard a few different things said during my life, but the most certain is probably that my sight unaided was 6/60 (I think this is 20/200 in the US) during my teens.
So.. I found out that some could be corrected via LASIK. Near-sightedness, and a few other things. It was done, and I'm very happy about the result. This was done about five years ago now. Apparently, I'm now at 20/50 (US). 40% vision.
And.. These days, I find that I'm struggling a bit with identity. Aside (or because of) the hypoplasia, I have a case of nystagmus as well. So even though things have gotten a lot better, I still fumble around. I still miss things, I'm anxious when out eating - not always being able to find bathrooms, not recognizing people.. Those things. I strain. I look awkward in my null position, trying to amke the world stop moving for just a second. Last try at education failed horribly, due to not being able to work fast enough because of all these things.
So.. I spent the last couple of days with some wonderful people at a danish institute called IBOS, who provide and assist us with instructions, tools, courses on how to deal with things, not always being able to see them. And basically.. All of these other people were rather worse off than myself.
Yet, I still use visual aids. At least.. After this, I do. They're making things easier for me. Much easier. And the things we were provided will especially help during school, for the next years. But still.. I just feel like I'm falling somewhere between two chairs. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. And I don't know what I'm expecting from this post, but I at least needed to tell someone.
I'm 29 and male, in case someone is interested in those things.
Dyshonest 2 points
hi there. I'm about your age (30) and am actually on this sub tonight because I'm dealing with a similar issue. I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa at a really young age which is a degenerative retinal disease that causes tunnel vision, night blindness, cataracts, and in many cases, eventual blindness.
In the last few years, my vision loss has gotten to the point where I am having difficulties getting around even well lit areas. I find I am very nervous going out in public and plan any outings very carefully and am still anxious even then.
Yesterday I was out at a bachelor party with a large group of childhood friends and I felt really down and out of place, particularly at the end of the night when we were bar hopping. I was never good in bars with my night blindness; it's hard to enjoy yourself when you're trying not to run into people and are also trying not to drink too much in order to avoid having to grope. your way to the bathroom. But the whole experience left me feeling really lost and alone. If I feel like an outcast with a group of my good friends celebrating an engagement, I'm not sure where I do fit in. I think, like you, it's an identity thing. I don't feel like I fit in because I don't feel normal any more.
I don't have any help for your problem, I just replied because what you described sounded an awful lot like what I'm feeling and I wanted you to know that at least to some degree, I know what you're going through. It's a weird place to be in, being able to see to a degree but still needing help with things/making the life changes required to function normally in society.
My research today has decided me to attempt to accept my situation, starting with getting and learning to use my first cane. I've found a few numbers I'll be calling tomorrow.
pm me if you ever want someone to talk to. I would have pm'd this whole message but thought maybe someone else will see this topic and be able to relate.
Cheers!
In the last few years, my vision loss has gotten to the point where I am having difficulties getting around even well lit areas. I find I am very nervous going out in public and plan any outings very carefully and am still anxious even then.
Yesterday I was out at a bachelor party with a large group of childhood friends and I felt really down and out of place, particularly at the end of the night when we were bar hopping. I was never good in bars with my night blindness; it's hard to enjoy yourself when you're trying not to run into people and are also trying not to drink too much in order to avoid having to grope. your way to the bathroom. But the whole experience left me feeling really lost and alone. If I feel like an outcast with a group of my good friends celebrating an engagement, I'm not sure where I do fit in. I think, like you, it's an identity thing. I don't feel like I fit in because I don't feel normal any more.
I don't have any help for your problem, I just replied because what you described sounded an awful lot like what I'm feeling and I wanted you to know that at least to some degree, I know what you're going through. It's a weird place to be in, being able to see to a degree but still needing help with things/making the life changes required to function normally in society.
My research today has decided me to attempt to accept my situation, starting with getting and learning to use my first cane. I've found a few numbers I'll be calling tomorrow.
pm me if you ever want someone to talk to. I would have pm'd this whole message but thought maybe someone else will see this topic and be able to relate.
Cheers!
SideshowKaz 2 points
I understand this. I've been struggling with the same stuff for a wile in a way. I have one eye and it seems to be quite bad.
I'd be fine with my identity if I was left to have one but some people say I don't need help others say I do. I adapt and people tell me not to adapt. That way.
I'd be fine with my identity if I was left to have one but some people say I don't need help others say I do. I adapt and people tell me not to adapt. That way.
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