Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Vet School Drop Out? (Kind of a Rant...sorry) (self.Blind)
submitted 7y ago by BandedeMacaques
So I was born with uncorrectable vision past 20/60 and a severe color deficiency.My childhood was peppered with a lot of "nevers" because of it. I was told I'd never drive a car or play a sport and let's forget about doing anything meaningful with my life because teachers never expected anything out of me and always treated me like I was the most inconvenient person to educate. But eventually, I waded through metric tons of that bullshit to go to college, graduate Phi Beta Kappa with a B.S. in Neuroscience, and get into what is arguably the best veterinary school in the world.
I've worked so hard to get here. For most of my life, having low vision was "the big problem" and being colorblind was like, the lesser issue. But in vet school, everything is color coded. Histology is all done with different color stains and you can't even do a basic physical exam on your patient without remarking on the exact shade of its gums or eyeballs or [insert mucous membrane here]. Having uncorrectable low vision turned out to be an almost non-issue. (I mean, you can get close enough to anything right?) But being colorblind? That's apparently a BFD. And I'm worried that I'm going to go through four years of very expensive vet school and not be able to practice. And like, I know there are some colorblind doctors, but I'm realllllllly fucking colorblind. Like when I'm looking at histo slides, everything is the same color, and when a professor points out a discoloration on a dog (like a rash, or bloodshot eyes) I usually can't see it. I don't feel comfortable evaluating anything. And I'm afraid that if they let me graduate from here (and they will, because I'm paying them lots of money to be a student for four years) that I'm going to end up killing my patients, or requiring an aide to tell me what color shit is and therefore not getting hired anywhere. I mean things being as they are, I wouldn't trust me to examine and treat my own dog.
I've only been here a month, but feel like I should just drop out and try to enroll in a program that doesn't require decent vision. But I've worked so hard to be here, and I'm so close, and I just can't believe that something that was barely an issue my entire life is going to stop me from being the doctor I've wanted to be since I was a teenager. And i'm feeling lost and angry and just miserable about it. And I really needed to rant.
Thanks for reading this whole thing if you did.
Side Note: I know that my visual issues are small potatoes compared to some people on this subreddit and I'm sorry if it seems like I'm complaining about a physical condition that I know a lot of people here would be thrilled to be in. I'm not trying to be ungrateful, I'm just really upset right now.
I've worked so hard to get here. For most of my life, having low vision was "the big problem" and being colorblind was like, the lesser issue. But in vet school, everything is color coded. Histology is all done with different color stains and you can't even do a basic physical exam on your patient without remarking on the exact shade of its gums or eyeballs or [insert mucous membrane here]. Having uncorrectable low vision turned out to be an almost non-issue. (I mean, you can get close enough to anything right?) But being colorblind? That's apparently a BFD. And I'm worried that I'm going to go through four years of very expensive vet school and not be able to practice. And like, I know there are some colorblind doctors, but I'm realllllllly fucking colorblind. Like when I'm looking at histo slides, everything is the same color, and when a professor points out a discoloration on a dog (like a rash, or bloodshot eyes) I usually can't see it. I don't feel comfortable evaluating anything. And I'm afraid that if they let me graduate from here (and they will, because I'm paying them lots of money to be a student for four years) that I'm going to end up killing my patients, or requiring an aide to tell me what color shit is and therefore not getting hired anywhere. I mean things being as they are, I wouldn't trust me to examine and treat my own dog.
I've only been here a month, but feel like I should just drop out and try to enroll in a program that doesn't require decent vision. But I've worked so hard to be here, and I'm so close, and I just can't believe that something that was barely an issue my entire life is going to stop me from being the doctor I've wanted to be since I was a teenager. And i'm feeling lost and angry and just miserable about it. And I really needed to rant.
Thanks for reading this whole thing if you did.
Side Note: I know that my visual issues are small potatoes compared to some people on this subreddit and I'm sorry if it seems like I'm complaining about a physical condition that I know a lot of people here would be thrilled to be in. I'm not trying to be ungrateful, I'm just really upset right now.
carabelli14 2 points
Vet school is one of the hardest, if not the hardest professional programs to gain entrance to. You've done that. There will be many times over the next 4 years that you will question your decision of going to vet school. These may be completely warranted, but they also may not. I would continue to look into different options to help you with your specific visual impairment (others would know what those would be, I'm sorry I can't help with those). I will reiterate what I said earlier. You're very intelligent. You've proven that by where you sit today. Don't let a disability get you down. There is a way around it. I stared at path slides for hours in dental school. I still can't tell what is what on those darn things even with no visual impairment. There was a student at my school (he was a med student) who was completely blind and he made it through to become a psychiatrist. Are there any other fields that you can pursue in vet med that will be easier with color blindness? Start your own practice when you get out, have a reliable assistant to help you visually with your exams and the problem is solved. Again, please don't give up on your dream. Even if it seems like the easy thing to do.
SideshowKaz 1 points
https://www.ted.com/talks/neil_harbisson_i_listen_to_color?language=en
This may help a lot.
This may help a lot.
Allycat86 1 points
There are glasses made specifically for those who are color blind. Since you're missing your red cones, I'm not sure how much help these would be, but I think it's definitely worth checking out if you haven't done so already.
BandedeMacaques [OP] 1 points
Well I really want to go into Pathology. I love fish and fish medicine is mostly path from what I can tell. And path is mostly histo. And histo is mostly colors =/. I talked about my concerns with a resident that I met, and he pointed me in the direction of a pathologist that worked on campus who was colorblind. And I was really excited to meet him, but I went to his office today and it turns out that he is one of those colorblind people that didn't know until he was in highschool (which is to say not severely colorblind at all) And we looked at slides together and he can differentiate a lot more things than I can.
As for my type of colorblindness...its kind of weird...because it's probably also linked to my low vision problems. A lot of tests were run on me when I was little and doctors have no idea what's wrong with me. I looked over the results of the tests they ran a few months ago now that I have this convenient neuroscience degree and in my very non medical opinion, I think my "red" cones are missing. A lot of colorblind people don't have red cones, but instead they have more green cones to make up for the missing red ones. This results in no loss of acuity despite the lack of color differentiation. For me though, i don't think my green cones got the memo that the red ones were missing so i have fewer cones and therefore deficient color vision AND reduced acuity. Which is weird.
Enchroma doesn't work for me :( I've tried and it was sad.
I don't really know who to bring my concerns up with, because everyone at the school is going to tell me that it's all good. But they're not going to have to deal with the lawsuits that will happen if I kill someone's pet. You know?
As for my type of colorblindness...its kind of weird...because it's probably also linked to my low vision problems. A lot of tests were run on me when I was little and doctors have no idea what's wrong with me. I looked over the results of the tests they ran a few months ago now that I have this convenient neuroscience degree and in my very non medical opinion, I think my "red" cones are missing. A lot of colorblind people don't have red cones, but instead they have more green cones to make up for the missing red ones. This results in no loss of acuity despite the lack of color differentiation. For me though, i don't think my green cones got the memo that the red ones were missing so i have fewer cones and therefore deficient color vision AND reduced acuity. Which is weird.
Enchroma doesn't work for me :( I've tried and it was sad.
I don't really know who to bring my concerns up with, because everyone at the school is going to tell me that it's all good. But they're not going to have to deal with the lawsuits that will happen if I kill someone's pet. You know?
Slatters-AU 1 points
I read the whole thing. I just want to say that sucks. I also want to say how much respect I have for you that you are evaluating your own capability and finding it lacking are seriously concerned. There are SO many people that wouldn't...
Is there another area of veterinary that you could specialize in? One that isn't so reliant on the things you mention? I know nothing about being a vet. (And I agree what a damn awesome job).
Could you use some kind of CCTV that could negative/isolate the colours for you? There must be a technical way to achieve what you want.
What is the colour blindness condition called? I know there are several different degrees and types.
Whatever you do, don't give up. You have fought so hard, there must be a solution or a technique.
Is there another area of veterinary that you could specialize in? One that isn't so reliant on the things you mention? I know nothing about being a vet. (And I agree what a damn awesome job).
Could you use some kind of CCTV that could negative/isolate the colours for you? There must be a technical way to achieve what you want.
What is the colour blindness condition called? I know there are several different degrees and types.
Whatever you do, don't give up. You have fought so hard, there must be a solution or a technique.
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