Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Is your sexuality in any way unusual? (self.Blind)
submitted by modulus
I'm blind, and I was wondering if there are peculiarities about blindness that have an impact on sexuality. Things like kinks, bdsm, non-hetero interests, etc. Since this is very personal info I encourage people to create a throwaway account to respond to this question. What I'd like to know is:
1. Are you blind or visually impaired? If so from birth or from what period in life (childhood, teenage years, adulthood...?
2. Do you have any kinks? If so which?
3. Do you experience attraction according to typical gender norms (heterosexuality)?
4. Any other unusual sexual features? For example, poly, demisexuality, bdsm?
I hope this topic isn't too awkward and I get a few interesting answers.
1. Are you blind or visually impaired? If so from birth or from what period in life (childhood, teenage years, adulthood...?
2. Do you have any kinks? If so which?
3. Do you experience attraction according to typical gender norms (heterosexuality)?
4. Any other unusual sexual features? For example, poly, demisexuality, bdsm?
I hope this topic isn't too awkward and I get a few interesting answers.
stormsong19 6 points 6y ago
I'm a blind female in my early 20's.
1. I have been blind since birth.
2. I definitely fall on the kinky spectrum, though a lot of what I like depends broadly on what my partner(s) also enjoy. One oddity about me which I haven't seen too much in either the vi or sighted community is that I distinguish between kink and sex. I.E. I can and have enjoyed rope or impact play with friends with whom I did not have a sexual or romantic relationship. Since the specific list of what I enjoy can be fairly variable, the most consistent thing I've found is that my mind has to be engaged in some capacity as well.
3. I tend to be attracted to people based on personality and common interests/intelligence moreso than gender. I pretty frequently find myself attracted to people of all genders who meet my other requirements regardless of gender. All of my longterm relationships have been with cisgender male people, but I'm open for that to change given the right situation and people.
4. I am very firmly poly. I believe this is much more because of how I grew up than my blindness, but I've tried to be in monogamous relationships in the past and found they very much don't work for me. That said, I'm also not personally very open to casual sex or relationships.
1. I have been blind since birth.
2. I definitely fall on the kinky spectrum, though a lot of what I like depends broadly on what my partner(s) also enjoy. One oddity about me which I haven't seen too much in either the vi or sighted community is that I distinguish between kink and sex. I.E. I can and have enjoyed rope or impact play with friends with whom I did not have a sexual or romantic relationship. Since the specific list of what I enjoy can be fairly variable, the most consistent thing I've found is that my mind has to be engaged in some capacity as well.
3. I tend to be attracted to people based on personality and common interests/intelligence moreso than gender. I pretty frequently find myself attracted to people of all genders who meet my other requirements regardless of gender. All of my longterm relationships have been with cisgender male people, but I'm open for that to change given the right situation and people.
4. I am very firmly poly. I believe this is much more because of how I grew up than my blindness, but I've tried to be in monogamous relationships in the past and found they very much don't work for me. That said, I'm also not personally very open to casual sex or relationships.
0xdeadf001 3 points 6y ago
My girlfriend was born blind. She is quite kinky, very bisexual (more lesbian than straight), and (like myself) polyamorous. She's quite a handful.
Ramildo 3 points 6y ago
I'm 35, have been blind for 3 years, and am heterosexual without any kinks other than a thing for women much older than me. I used to have a very active sex life before going blind, but now I don't have any sex.
cookiemanluvsu 1 points 6y ago
You gonna try and have more sex?
fastfinge 3 points 6y ago
I was born blind. I'm entirely heterosexual, and have no kinks that I'm aware of. However, compared to friends, I do notice that my sex drive is somewhat muted. I think it's because I don't get visual sex signals. I am attracted to voices, of course, but I don't think the attraction is as powerful/urgent to a voice as it is to seeing someone "sexy". That means personality is a lot more important; if I don't know someone, I just don't feel much attraction to them. When I know them better, if I dislike them, again nothing. I'm only capable of being interested in people whom I both know and like. As a teenager, I thought I was asexual (or just broken, before I learned that term) for years. When I realized that I'm not, I spent a while being confused, and once again wondering if I was broken, or if I'd just missed some part of sexual experience that I'd be as obsessed with as everyone else. These days, I'm just comfortable with the fact that sex drive is a spectrum, and I'm on the low end.
LarryWren 2 points 5y ago
I had figured I was "broken" for a while, too... Still not quite sure what the heck I am.
Can somebody "feel" sexy? Like the way someone might like looking at a lean, curvy lady... would that feel exciting to touch?
Can somebody "feel" sexy? Like the way someone might like looking at a lean, curvy lady... would that feel exciting to touch?
fastfinge 1 points 5y ago
Yes...sort of...but "feeling" sexy is more about skin texture, smell, etc, at least for me. Feeling someone is pretty localized, so visual things like curves aren't really as much a part of it.
LarryWren 2 points 5y ago
Interesting. So grabbing a handful of tit or brushing hands down someone’s flanks and hips wouldn’t appeal to you? By smell, do you mean you like artificial ones (like perfumes), or pheromones, or just that someone isn’t covered in dirtnast body odour?
fastfinge 1 points 5y ago
> brushing hands down someone’s flanks
It does. But it's more an appreciation of the activity, feeling of closeness, touching of skin, etc, than it is of visual aspects like curves.
> By smell,
As long as it isn't overpowering, natural female smell, or artificial perfumes, or the smell of the soap/shampoo someone uses, or a combination of any of the above, would work for me. But I find overpowering perfume just as off-putting as overpowering body odor. And of course, some smells are just complete turn-offs. For me, the main one is tobacco smoke. I hate how it smells, and can't stand it on a girls breath or clothes. Even if all of her other aspects were absolutely perfect, I couldn't even hug her without cringing. And some food smelling perfumes do put me off just slightly. How is someone smelling like watermelon or bubblegum or chocolate or peppermint attractive? It just makes me hungry. And not in a "hungry for her" sort of way; more in a "now I want some damn watermelon" sort of way. Thankfully, the vast majority of women seem to stop using these smells in shampoos and perfumes around about age 20. It was really only a late high school and early university problem for me. Or maybe they just went out of fashion? I dunno. I'm way too old to be smelling 17 year old girls to see if watermelon or bubblegum perfumes are still a thing.
Huh. Apparently they're $1. I guess I just know classier women as a middle-aged adult.
It does. But it's more an appreciation of the activity, feeling of closeness, touching of skin, etc, than it is of visual aspects like curves.
> By smell,
As long as it isn't overpowering, natural female smell, or artificial perfumes, or the smell of the soap/shampoo someone uses, or a combination of any of the above, would work for me. But I find overpowering perfume just as off-putting as overpowering body odor. And of course, some smells are just complete turn-offs. For me, the main one is tobacco smoke. I hate how it smells, and can't stand it on a girls breath or clothes. Even if all of her other aspects were absolutely perfect, I couldn't even hug her without cringing. And some food smelling perfumes do put me off just slightly. How is someone smelling like watermelon or bubblegum or chocolate or peppermint attractive? It just makes me hungry. And not in a "hungry for her" sort of way; more in a "now I want some damn watermelon" sort of way. Thankfully, the vast majority of women seem to stop using these smells in shampoos and perfumes around about age 20. It was really only a late high school and early university problem for me. Or maybe they just went out of fashion? I dunno. I'm way too old to be smelling 17 year old girls to see if watermelon or bubblegum perfumes are still a thing.
Huh. Apparently they're $1. I guess I just know classier women as a middle-aged adult.
napoleon88 3 points 6y ago
I'll kick off. I'm blind, 28 and hetro. I have a few kinks, including plushophilia, I'm a switch for BDSM purposes and have other related interests i.e. nonconsent play, ageplay etc.
cookiemanluvsu 1 points 6y ago
What's plushophilia?
napoleon88 1 points 6y ago
attraction to stuffed animals
cookiemanluvsu 1 points 6y ago
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
napoleon88 1 points 6y ago
don't know what that was, but whatever bro. lol
bradley22 2 points 6y ago
yay, sex questions. Let's go!
1. I've been blind all my life.
2. I like the sound of a womans belly and heartbeat. I enjoy rubbing a womans belly if she is full to listen to the sounds her or her body may make. I also think hiccups are cute. Another thing for me would be to explore the woman I am with and to figure out how to 1. turn her on and 2. relax her.
3. I believe so, if a woman has a nice accent, i'm going to go and check her out. If she has a nice chubby belly I'd be interested, even if she doesn't and has a nice personality I'd be interested.
4. Let's put it this way; if the girl I'm with doesn't mind being with another girl then i'm all for it. I'd have a new body to explore, new sounds to listen to and a new way to look at life.
1. I've been blind all my life.
2. I like the sound of a womans belly and heartbeat. I enjoy rubbing a womans belly if she is full to listen to the sounds her or her body may make. I also think hiccups are cute. Another thing for me would be to explore the woman I am with and to figure out how to 1. turn her on and 2. relax her.
3. I believe so, if a woman has a nice accent, i'm going to go and check her out. If she has a nice chubby belly I'd be interested, even if she doesn't and has a nice personality I'd be interested.
4. Let's put it this way; if the girl I'm with doesn't mind being with another girl then i'm all for it. I'd have a new body to explore, new sounds to listen to and a new way to look at life.
tymme 2 points 6y ago
Visually impaired basically since birth. Consider myself bisexual, though I generally prefer women since they feel softer; I find many guys cute but not as big a fan of the stubble and such when more intimate.
I don't think I have anything too extreme for kinks, but anything I do have I would consider more a part of environment than lack of vision.
I don't think I have anything too extreme for kinks, but anything I do have I would consider more a part of environment than lack of vision.
nycefm 1 points 6y ago
Male 21 US.
1. I have been blind sense I was born
2. I am only attracted to girls.
3. I would have to say I perfer my sex in a jacuzzi or big huge bath. I'm also a virgin. But I hope to find the right girl some day and share that with her. I'm not into open relationships at all. I hope this isn't as bland as most of the posts or comments. God Bless.
girlfromthebasement 1 points 6y ago
1. 23 F. Visually impaired since the age of six with vision having grown consistently worse throughout much of my life.
2. I consider myself moderately kinky. I'm very into being submissive. To be more clear, I like my partner to call me a whore/sex toy, be rough, tie me up, etc. I have a general thing for bondage. I also have a kink for partners who are significantly bigger than me (I am quite small so this is easy to achieve).
3. I am pansexual. Gender is fairly irrelevant to me. I find lots of men, women, gender-queer, transgender, etc people attractive. Currently, I am with a cisgender, hetero male. That's just what fate led me to.
4. As I said, i'm pansexual. I will say that personality has a huge part in whether or not i find someone attractive sexually, enough to make a move. I might look at a woman and be like "Yeah, she's hot" but that doesn't motivate me at all. I'd have to talk to her and see if I actually connect.
2. I consider myself moderately kinky. I'm very into being submissive. To be more clear, I like my partner to call me a whore/sex toy, be rough, tie me up, etc. I have a general thing for bondage. I also have a kink for partners who are significantly bigger than me (I am quite small so this is easy to achieve).
3. I am pansexual. Gender is fairly irrelevant to me. I find lots of men, women, gender-queer, transgender, etc people attractive. Currently, I am with a cisgender, hetero male. That's just what fate led me to.
4. As I said, i'm pansexual. I will say that personality has a huge part in whether or not i find someone attractive sexually, enough to make a move. I might look at a woman and be like "Yeah, she's hot" but that doesn't motivate me at all. I'd have to talk to her and see if I actually connect.
blindndangerous 1 points 6y ago
1. I've been blind pretty much since I was born. Maybe not right away, but from a period that I don't remember it at all.
2. Sensation, mild pain, (unsure how high that goes), bondage.
3. yes, I do experience attraction based on normal gender norms. That really hasn't changed in all the time I've been interested in women.
4. Poly. I kind of took the answer from question 2 for the last part of this one. If I'm wrong, I can edit it.
2. Sensation, mild pain, (unsure how high that goes), bondage.
3. yes, I do experience attraction based on normal gender norms. That really hasn't changed in all the time I've been interested in women.
4. Poly. I kind of took the answer from question 2 for the last part of this one. If I'm wrong, I can edit it.
blind12345 1 points 6y ago
1. Blind from birth.
2. Bondage, tickling, verbal abuse, feet, and generally humiliation or helplessness, in both directions.
3. I am attracted to people of all genders. It depends on their personality and compatibility. I'm not interested in sex with people I don't know or I don't like.
4. Well, yes, BDSM is a sort of extension of kink. I didn't know of demisexuality but it sort of fits how I work. Poly makes sense to me, if my partner(s) are happy it makes me happy.
2. Bondage, tickling, verbal abuse, feet, and generally humiliation or helplessness, in both directions.
3. I am attracted to people of all genders. It depends on their personality and compatibility. I'm not interested in sex with people I don't know or I don't like.
4. Well, yes, BDSM is a sort of extension of kink. I didn't know of demisexuality but it sort of fits how I work. Poly makes sense to me, if my partner(s) are happy it makes me happy.
stormsong19 1 points 6y ago
I am curious, OP. What if anything do you plan to do with such data?
modulus [OP] 1 points 6y ago
Mostly it's curiosity and checking if there's something to investigate. I have the impression that blindness has an impact on sexual development and that we tend to be more prone to kink and other forms of sexual practices that use high stimulation of the senses, and less of an attachment to typical sighted gender and beauty standards and norms. But since the topic is a little taboo it's hard to tell how true this is. I can't easily go around my blind RL friends and ask them if they like BDSM or are poly or closset bi.
stormsong19 2 points 6y ago
Also, you... kind of can. I've had a lot of very interesting and informative conversations with other blind people by just doing exactly that. Part of normalising kink, poly, and other practices is simply to act as though they're normal. I've found most people intensely curious and without the confidence to independently research. and helping destigmitize it in the public consciousness with people you already respect is a good way to move toward that.
stormsong19 1 points 6y ago
I'd definitely anecdotally agree with you on the bdsm/kink elements, but I'm pretty sure studies would find very similar things to what we've found about racial preconceptions. I.E. we've taken on a lot of the cultural ones. People who like women, and aren't just open to literally any woman, seem to prefer the high voices, slight builds, etc etc etc.
[deleted] 1 points 6y ago
[deleted]
cupcake6740 1 points 6y ago
I've been visually impaired since birth
Domination/someone else taking charge mostly because if I try to go in and try something I usually end up hitting them in the face
I don't categorize myself under really anything. I'm just very open since I really just see people for who they are and not what I see or do. As long as the job gets done, I feel loved, and they're great at cuddling, anything goes.
Domination/someone else taking charge mostly because if I try to go in and try something I usually end up hitting them in the face
I don't categorize myself under really anything. I'm just very open since I really just see people for who they are and not what I see or do. As long as the job gets done, I feel loved, and they're great at cuddling, anything goes.
stormsong19 1 points 6y ago
But don't discount hands. You can do a lot with them and vary the sensation considerably. Not to mention it can add a really nice either partticularly comforting touch or sadistic one, depending on how you act it out. Either way, there is something to knowing the sensations are being directly caused by you that can add a lot to a scene, especially if you're willing to play with a given mood with the rest of your demeanor. In short, embrace what hands can do without making it seem like an unfortunate thing you're using because you don't feel comfortable with other tools. Try different gloves to add even more sensation. Soft leather or suede for example, or vampire gloves depending on what you're going for.
stormsong19 1 points 6y ago
Hitting the spot you're aiming for is something sighted folks have to practice too. I'd recommend practicing on a pillow or other stationary object before a human person, and possibly using those c-shaped pillows around the back of the neck of your human bottom for a while as well even after you've moved beyond pillow target practice. You'll also find certain tools easier to work with, something like a flogger with lots of tails to wrap being at the harder end. Try things of varying give and see what you feel most in control of. Maybe have a sighted person work with you on aim if you're able.
cupcake6740 1 points 6y ago
Oh ahaha I just meant like I'll try and get on them or around them and will end up kneeing them in the shin, happens more than you'll think...
like my problems are physically moving my body safely, not aiming at anything.
like my problems are physically moving my body safely, not aiming at anything.
stormsong19 1 points 6y ago
Oh, sorry to overthink that one then. Maybe just having them in a stationary place, laying on a bed/on a cross, etc. Becoming super familiar with the physical layout of the space is super necessary, so I could see how this would be super hard to do especially at an event.
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