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Baking is a skill like any other that you have to fail upwards with. There are a lot of little variables that can have an effect on the end result. So, any failure is positive as long as you reduce your frustration and try again a little differently in the next attempt. Eventually that experiences build up to competency.

I'm sighted and have a lot of experience with cookies. I have no ability to tell if the cookies are done by visual ques. They never look done. It is so misleading to rely on visual ques for cookies that I would tell any sighted baker the same thing, try a bake time, and adjust one to two minutes in the next batch according to the end result of the cooled cookies. We have to base this on cooled cookies only because they don't feel done when they are cooling.

That is another thing though, cookies hot off the pan can often look too soft and undercooked. I've made the mistake a few times of relying on that visual data to convince me to bake them longer when in actuality they were done and I was now overcooking them. This taught me to rely strictly on the cooled texture and feel of the cookie to base any changes on. You just won't know what to change in which direction until then.

Keep at it! I believe in you and know you are close with just a few more failures till you perfect your bake time.

Cookies continue to bake when they're removed from the oven. I would follow the recipe times and put the pan of cookies on a wire rack for about 10 minutes before removing them. Maybe you can do a couple this way to try the time suggested in the recipe without wasting it all. You want your cookies to come out of the oven soft to the touch because they will harden some when cooling.

I forgot to mention the other tip, when you decide on a bake time for cookies, stick to it and don't open the oven at any point. You are correct in that the stab method doesn't work with cookies. And each time the door of the oven is opened the temperature drops out of the range it needs for cooking. So 30 seconds of open oven may result in 3 or 4 more minutes they need to be cooked. This will lead to frustration because we don't actually know now if the original bake time you decided on is or is not sufficient. That situation is very frustrating. The anxiety will be reduced though by trusting in your recipe, and letting the recipe fail, and making only simple adjustments to the recipe after all the data is in from the cooled and tested cookie.

I would suggest not using nonstick spray because oil burns and so will your cookies. You can use vegetable shortening because it melts instead of burning. If you are making sugar cookies, the main tip is that they only have to be slighlty cooked because they harden as they cool, so I would say you take them out 2-3 minutes after they reack peak smell. Also the size of your cookies/cake has everything to do with the timing: an 8" cake will be done in 35-40 minutes and a 4" will be done in 25 minutes. Let me know if you have any more questions or need any recipes, I have a small baking bussiness and will be glad to help!