I'm in the UK so I know it's a little diferent here.

I would recommend taking your cane everywhere with you. As you said your vision gets worse when it is dark, correct? If so, I'd recommend taking your cane everywhere you go. As for your friends seeing it, my only advice with that would be this; if they are your true friends they'll stay with you and if not, then try to find new friends.

I can't help you with your mum, sorry. I grew up only being able to see light and shadows and my family have no problem with my cane.

I have a question, is an ID cane what we would call a symble cane here in the UK? If so, it shouldn't be that long as far as I know.

For an ID cane or light-duty mobility cane, try something like the Ambutech Slimline if you can. It folds into 7 sections so it can be pocketed or put in your bag. Shoulder-high should be more than enough if you are sometimes using it for a little mobility, and sometimes just using it as an ID (although you will probably develop a personal preference as you learn to use a cane and get training.) The NFB folding cane is also good, but only offers the NFB metal tip, and takes up a little more space. That way you have the option to pull out the cane when you want to use it. Eventually you might decide to go for a full mobility cane regularly and might want something sturdier than the slimline, but it's a good choice for on and off use. I would personally skip the pure ID canes (that have no handle and no mobility tip) as they are far less useful (and harder for sighted people to identify when they are very short and not being used in the expected way) but not much more portable anyways.

Disney and concerts are excellent examples of places where a cane as ID is very helpful. Big crowds, visibility can be challenging, unfamiliar environment, and so on. You can avoid a lot of accidents and mishaps by using a cane in situations like that.

Using a cane in front of people for the first time is definitely scary. There's not a lot I can tell you except that it gets easier with practice and as you gain confidence. You might tell the friend you're going to the concert with that you're concerned about how well you'll be able to see there, for example, and "want to see if the cane will help."

As far as your mom goes, that's tough. It sucks to be told things like "you don't really need that thing" and it's SO common when you are on the high partial end of blindness. The suggestion of having your TVI talk with her is a great example, as is talking to her about the sorts of issues you're having compared to your friends who use mobility canes. If she's not willing to budge, you might just have to not use it around her and secretly use it the rest of the time until it's time for college.

Try to get training! Sit on vocational rehab until they get you an o&m instructor. Call and send letters regularly. See if your local or state NFB or ACB can help you kick rehab into action. Aside from local o&m training, you can also look at getting funding for some of the great summer training programs that exist for highschoolers or those about to enter college, like the one at the Colorado Center for the Blind. https://nfb.org/images/nfb/publications/fr/fr15/issue1/f1501tc2.html is an excellent introduction to the ideas of cane travel, but does not come close to competent in-person instruction which you absolutely should receive.

One tiny thing: you can buy a cane that folds up smaller than that on eBay for not much. Might be useful.

Also. Rock on, dude. This stuff is hard and the fact you're asking the questions and being really clear about the issues is a massive credit to you.

Maybe have your TVI talk to your mom? Or both of you together? Try to explain that the whole point of it is so you "look blind".

I kind of feel the same way though. I have a cane, but never use it because I feel like I don't need it and feel weird when I use it. But I kind of regret not using it more, because there are so many times I've done awkward things in public where having the cane would have helped. So if you think it helps, then take it with you.

So, I happen to be an O&M instructor. It makes me happy that you know what helps you in difficult situations. It is so hard for people to realize their limitations sometimes.

ID cane. Yes. Wherever and whenever you think you need it, having a cane is a good idea. NFB canes can be in the way, but they get the message out that you do not see the world the same way as other people. Your teachers and classmates will get used to it. If you explain it to them in a simple way, they will accept it. Say something like "it helps me when it's dark" or "it lets other people/drivers know to have patience with me."

As for your mom, this is where things get tricky. A lot of times, parents have a lot of guilt about their children's visual impairment. It's not her fault, but she's going to feel like it is. And every time the cane comes out, it's a symbol of her guilt. She is going to have a more difficult time adjusting to it than your friends. Try to explain all the benefits of the cane and have a real discussion about it. Your TVI can probably help you out there too.

If the NFB cane is too bulky, ambutech and Advantage canes carry ID canes as well that fold to about 12 inches and are super light weight.

Best of luck.

Having said that about the ID/Symble cane perhaps the lengths are diferent here in the UK.

I've been using a cane primarily for the purpose of identification for a little over a year now. It's a fantastic tool that i'd really recommend using for things like the concert and regular ole everyday life. But that being said here are some drawbacks to the cane that i've encountered that you might want to mentally prepare for-

1 If you are high partial, when it comes to interacting with strangers you're kind of in a lose-lose situation. If you don't use it you're at risk of tripping, looking lazy/rude, and sacrificing independence. If you do use it, some asshats will think that you're faking (yes, this actually happens)

2. Some people will underestimate your capabilities. God forbid you atand alone in one spot for a couple of minutes, some people will treat you like a lost toddler. These people are usually well intentioned and sometimes very helpful, but you just kind of have to get used to it.

Here are some ways to combat these issues- Look and act like you're doing everything intentionally. When you ask for help, try to appear to have an "objective" (if that makes any sense). Sure, some people might not understand your exact needs or your level of vision, but they'll tend to treat you how you treat you. So, if you use your cane with confidence, people will usually treat you with the same resoect that they'd treat other peopls and they'll normally be pretty darn helpful when you need assistance.

I was a tour guide for my school over the summer, and i surprisingly had very little issues with the students that i dealt with. Sure, some of them didn't get that i can't see clearly, but when the students did get it, they were very respectful and understanding.

Another thing that's helpful is to have "elevator-pitch-like" responses planned for questions that the sighted folk might ask like "why are you using a cane?" Or "how much can you see?" Etc. When in doubt, usually a "i'm partially blind and this lets people know that i can't see clearly" is more than enough. And remember, you don't have to tell people anything you don't feel comfortable sharing like you medical history. You can always decline to answer people who start to pry.

As far as your mom goes- its just something that she'll have to get used to. There's nothing wrong with being visually impaired and there's nothing wring with using a cane, so she's going to have to learn to be comfortable with you using it. Perhaps try introducing her to some positive representations for VI peeps online like molly burke's videos. My dad used to feel so uncomfortable talking about anything VI related, but he's slowly but surely coming around. Persistance and patience is key. Hopefully your mom will come to appreciate the cane someday.

Anyhoo, sorry for rambling, i'm super tired haha. Btw, its mature of you to start to consider using a cane! A lot of whippersnappers are afraid of it, so you're pretty cool dude

I used an identification cane in uni, but I eventually stopped because I felt awkward about having a cane out (even if it wasn't overly functional) and still always using sight. Only in the past few years have I started using a full length cane and I wish I'd done so sooner and hadn't been so iffy about it. One of the guys I play cricket with is the same too. He held off even longer, but as soon as he could lay his pride to rest, he was so pleased.

A cane makes your life much easier. Don't worry about what others think, go for it.

As for telling others about your cane beforehand, why? Say you had a friend that always rode a bike to your house, then one day they drive a car around instead. They provide no heads up they now drive a car. How would you respond? Would you care? Personally I like to just show up to things. Say it's a totally new group of people (e.g. meetup, job interview) I give no forewarning. I then proceed like there is no cane. Like I'm completely sighted (even though clearly I'm not). If necessary, I'll ask for assistance or point out a difficulty doing something. I never act like it's out the ordinary from anything any reasonable person would do.

For example, I've been to a couple of meetups past few weeks. Rocked up to a pub, bloke on the street helped me with the door (it was after dark), got the staff to help me find the group. Then I interact like any other normal human being. We shifted spots, and I ask the bloke I'm talking to to lend me his shoulder.

At another meetup, a boardgames night, I was somewhat anxious about lighting, but whatever. First to arrive, few others come, just general conversation host asks me about my condition (turns out Glaucoma is a Thing in his family). Lighting was pretty bad for me, but the host marked his components for The Resistance with sticky tape so it was easier for me without me even asking. Later he had a table lamp I could use to help me with some other games.

So some people will seek to help you without prompting, but they won't if they don't know, so bring the cane. And other times you just ask and you receive, in which cases the cane does all the explaining.

Regarding the rock show: I saw Anti-Falg last year and I had my cane (also the only bloke in a suit. I'm so much more non-conforming than the rest of the crowd!). That bloke I mentioned before I play cricket with? He went and saw Alestorm last year and he had his cane then. There really is no reason not to have it with you everywhere.

It does sound like you need something of a more appropriate size though. My understanding is full length canes should come up to your sternum. Other sorts of canes are more compact (and less durable) though. Such canes are likely to be more suitable for you anyway because it's not critical to your mobility.

As for your mum, you're suggesting she would physically prevent you from taking a cane when you leave the house? That's really not on, frankly. Sounds like she's got an issue with people with disability, so you'll have to work to set her straight and that won't be easy, but she'll have to come to terms with it.

Best of luck and enjoy the show and your trip!

1) Wherever you have issues, bring it (can help you get to the front of lines in many situations.

2) You will be awesome in the eyes of your friends when you get bumped up to the front of lines. When I went, the longest we waited was 5 minutes.

3) With all due respect, its not helping her is it? It is an aid that makes a world of difference. Its not clothing with a bad slogan/pic its there to HELP you. So she should and will need to live with it.

As for the last question, I found when I got comfortable with my cane and rocked it less people asked if I needed help and let me do my own thing.


To sum everything up:

Be yourself, incorporate your VI into you but dont let VI be you! If your friends are worth keeping around they will be ok with you (whatever you look/act!

UK based friend of VI people here.

> my impairment isn't obvious, so they just think I'm a lazy teenager, and not VI.

I've seen this problem where someone still has the body language of a sighted person because they had normal sight as a youngster.

You can carry a symbol cane, or you can deliberately act blind (look past people not at them) or better you can tell them straight up "I have a visual impairment." or "My eyes aren't good", "Can you help me please" whilst thinking "I've done my bit explaining my disability now treat me with respect like everyone else gets." You are only asking for a little extra help, just enough for you to get by. (expletive deleted) if they don't show normal courtesy and respect.

> Should I take my cane to a rock concert?

Discuss this with your friend you're going to the concert with. They'll probably be surprised or even shocked at first but should quickly understand. They might be happy to keep an eye on you so you don't have the hassle of carrying a cane. The most awkward thing in a dark venue might be if they need to guide you to the toilets. Mention this beforehand and let them know you just might need watching while you find your own way there and back.

I don't know how people respond to canes in the US or how rowdy the concert will be, but consider that a cane might stop other people knocking into you or even get you escorted to the disabled viewing area or the front row. Or it could just be a hassle carrying it around when you should be having fun.

> Disney trip

Try the same approach as with the rock concert. If the teachers are competent professionals they will do a bit of research or get advice themselves. Make clear the limits of the help you need so they don't overcompensate.

This is a learning experience for them as well as for you. Tell the teachers "learning is fun" /s

> My mom hates my cane
> hates that the cane makes me "look blind".

Ouch! Try $1

But a good cane with the right training will give you that little bit of help and equalisation that makes you just as capable and independent as anyone else. In principle, it's no different than wearing spectacles, just less common.

> it's an $1 that goes up to my nose

That sounds like it is too long, but I'm no expert. There are shorter canes which can fold compactly, I see ID / symbol canes that are waist high and mobility canes that come to your sternum and have a variety of tips depending on your needs and navigation technique. Training is essential to use these effectively. $1 have an extensive range. Get advice so you can get on with your life.

> how do I stop people from "babysitting" me?

You will have to hone your political and diplomatic skills to the degree that you may end up as the first VI POTUS. As someone who has helped and guided various blind people, I have to consciously take care that I am not overcompensating or being overprotective. You will have to get used to being clear about what help you need and don't need because your helpers can't read your mind. You will have to be assertive about protecting your independence and personal space. E.g. don't let people take you by the arm, insist that they offer their arm and you hold onto them. They can *give* you help but they must not *take* control.

> my friends because they don't think I'm getting around as effectively as they are.

Either they adapt and take a more team oriented approach to activities or you will need to find activities where your visual impairment doesn't matter, e.g. $1.

> I've never been given the opportunity to talk to an O&M person

I'm guessing you're USA from the jargon and language you use. The $1 seems to have lots of useful resources. The sooner you get the advice, training and resources the sooner you can focus on your strengths and talents and get on with life.