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Blind and Visually Impaired Community

Full History - 2017 - 09 - 21 - ID#71hwdl
7
Advice on making family understand/relate (self.Blind)
submitted by SunnyLego
I'm 31 and low vision.
In Australia vision goes
6/6 Perfect
6/12 Reduced (last you can drive on)
6/18 Low
6/60 Legally blind.

I've been fighting Uveitis for 7 years, left eye has been fighting it the whole time, right eye only got it in 2016.

This time last year my vision was 6/19 in right. 6/21 in left, due to a extremely bad year with vision health problems it's now 6/30 in right eye and 6/48 in left.

Basically my central vision is fucked, but side vision is still cooperating.

I had to leave my librarian job of 12 years, and stop playing roller derby.

I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, and got help from Association for the Blind in my city. My hospital records/eye dr reports made me medically entitled to a lot of things. I was feeling really guilty because I'm not completely blind, but then met lots of other people there in same situation and learnt that being blind doesn't mean you have no vision at all, in a lot of cases.

Due to parents used to me having eye disease and "always been fine" they are being so unsupportive and weird about me now using help.

I have a video camera magnifier, and started using a guide cane.

My sister is fine with it and supportive, but I'm so sick of my Dad saying things like "Do you really need to look at that so close to your face? "No that place is for blind people, what if people think you're completely blind." and not letting me use a cane around them.

I have to wear sunglasses all the time because eyes can't handle light anymore, and Dad is always saying "Do you really need to be wearing those?"

My Dad was drunk and said something really offensive, I told him to stop smirking and he said "Oh so you can see now can you?"

Anyone been through situations like this too with family and any advice on dealing?

I'm having 2 surgeries next week in my left eye and am wondering if gonna have to ask my doctor to point out to parents that I'm not just faking it for attention or something.

I also don't know if parents reaction is from guilt, because I also have epilepsy, and when I told parents in 2011 that I think something is wrong with my eyes, my Dad told me I just stare at computers too much, and my Mum said "Does there always have to be something wrong with you?" and so I ignored vision rapidly changing until both my retinas detached.
Amonwilde 4 points 5y ago
There isn't going to be a way you can "prove" anything to them. If you have to live with them for some reason, try to work toward getting out. Otherwise, ignore their bad behavior and engage with them on your own terms. It sounds like you have a lot of (probably justified) resentment towards them. Therapy might help you get to a better place and put you in a better state of mind to deal with them. If your dad is smirking at you, he wants you to rise to the bait and mention in. Don't rise to their provocations unless they're explicit or very aggressive, and in those cases just calmly remove yourself from the situation. Try to move toward a life in which interactions with your parents are an occasional nuisance--water off a duck's back.

Sounds like you're not using a screen reader. I'd recommend one if you're reading up close, I did that for years and when I learned the screen reader I'd wished I'd started earlier.
Amonwilde 3 points 5y ago
And good luck with your surgery!

[deleted] 1 points 5y ago
[deleted]
SunnyLego [OP] 1 points 5y ago
Edit, if you notice a comment from me that says deleted, I accidentally posted this one twice!

Thanks for your reply and advice. Had been living out of home, but had to move back to parents house this week due to housemate doing a lot of drugs, and once recovered from surgery on the 26th, will 100% be looking for somewhere to live, as stress makes Uveitis worse and I know that living here isn't gonna help that factor!

I use Zoomtext for my laptop, apologies didn't mention that before, with looking at things closely I meant when using my Ruby XL magnifier to look at newspaper ect.

Thanks for all the kind words, having Uveitic cataract removed and a slow release steroid implanted in left eye, as I can't have the steroid injections anymore. I have a social worker at Association for the Blind that can help me into looking into therapy.
Thanks again.
Amonwilde 1 points 5y ago
Sorry to hear you'll be home and hope it goes well. I recommend loading up on audiobooks and/or podcasts before the surgery so you have a low-strain thing to do while you're recovering.
pokersnek 3 points 5y ago
A lot of families have deep seeded guilt that their kids have a visual impairment. They may be in the denial stage or guilt stage of processing your health conditions. I think that explaining stuff to them will help.

I've found that families are better when they know what you are using and why you use it. The cane is there to protect you physically and legally. The magnifier is there so you can see things better.

I'm sorry that you've been having such a tough time with this all. Good luck on your surgeries.
SunnyLego [OP] 1 points 5y ago
Thanks for the kind words.
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