How do you introduce your visual impairment to new friends, co-workers, social groups etc...?(self.Blind)
submitted by permutationstation
As a visually impaired person I have always found it very difficult to bring up my visual impairment to people I am just meeting. I'm a pretty introverted person and don't like to start conversations in general, so I'm wondering how some of you other visually impaired folks introduce your disability.
Terry_Pie3 points5y ago
I have two ways, depending on the context.
My preferred method is to not introduce my vision impairment. It's obvious I have vision impairment, if they want to know about it, they should ask. Of course most able bodied people are very nervous about making enquiries into a person's disability. This leads to Fun. Feel free to go ahead and ask them for any assistance you might need and so forth too. Don't explain why unless they ask, it'll spoil the Fun otherwise. (I suspect most on here would disapprove of this approach. I'm happy to elaborate more extensively why I'm fond of it though if you'd like to know more).
The other way is to state very promptly, "my eyes are shot so...". The "so..." part is where you follow up with something like "so when I ask for some information from [somewhere], you need to read it to me", or "so I might find it difficult to do [thing you've assembled to do] in these conditions". The most recent example I have is session zero for a new D&D group where I set out that when I ask for some information on say a spell etc, I need them to read it from the Player's Handbook for me (I'm not incapable of doing it myself, it's just harder and more time consuming, so better they do it).
Stephen_Falken2 points5y ago
> Of course most able bodied people are very nervous about making enquiries into a person's disability. **This leads to Fun**
Well don't leave me hanging...
Terry_Pie2 points5y ago
I'm afraid it doesn't really have any great or elaborate stories - except for that one time where I knocked my colleagues water over. She made some friendly comment ribbing me about it, so I come back with "you know I'm legally blind right?" full well knowing that as a very progressive and inclusive individual she would be horrified at the thought I might take offence to her remark. She became very flustered and red faced very quickly while I had a good old laugh.
The Fun really is just the awkwardness of the situation for the other person and the nervousness they have broaching the topic with you and the mischief you can get up to as a result of that.
permutationstation [OP]3 points5y ago
Appreciate your input. I've had a few uber awkward moments. Probably the most notable is when I was working in an office and my boss (who was kind of spastic and talked about himself a lot) was going on and on about his golf game in one of our meetings and he randomly asked me what my handicap was (referring to golf) and I was like "well I"m legally blind". To this day I wish I could have an animated GIF of his reaction. It was awesome. Apparently HR didn't take note of the fact that I wrote that I am visually impaired and can't drive on my application AND mentioned it in my interview.
Terry_Pie1 points5y ago
That is golden! I never mention my sight on job applications, except in the optional demographic questions (are you ATSI [Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander], CALD [From a Culturally or Linguistically Diverse background], or PWD [Person With Disability]). I rock up to interviews with my Vision Impaired badge and cane and then it gets to the "Is there anything else you'd like to add or ask us?", I say nope, then when I'm walking out the building I think "oh yeah, probably should've covered the sight thing". In the public service, at least here, your potential manager will always be on the interview panel, so it's never going to be a surprise to them when you start working.
Whereami2592 points5y ago
Actually it's not bad to say it.
I work in store and one day a girl came buying some stuff,she was wearing glasses and made her way through the store with so much confidence that I didnt notice that she has problems with sight. So as I was showing her stuff she got annoyed and said something in line of why am I showing her this stuff since she cannot fully see it.
I honestly didnt notice that she has problems with her vision. If she had mentioned it,it would be much easier for both of us. She wasn't completely blind so that's the reason I didnt notice it.
permutationstation [OP]2 points5y ago
I feel like I am hypersensitive to making other people feel awkward about my visual impairment. So, I will say things like "I don't have my contacts in" or "I can't see that" to a store associate.
These days though technology has made life a little easier in the sense that most times I order online for places like Target, Best Buy and Lowes and just do in-store pickup. But, that has also greatly minimized the need for me to ask for assistance which in turn has left me feeling less confident and more self conscious about my impairment.
Whereami2592 points5y ago
It's ok to ask for help, that's why we are there and it makes our time pass faster. I like helping people as much as I can.
Don't be shy. Nobody will hate you for that, nobody will think it's awkward and in the process you could teach some people something new.
permutationstation [OP]2 points5y ago
Appreciate your insight! It's good to know that there are people out there like yourself who value their work and strive to be helpful to everyone. Thank you!
kissitallgoodbye2 points5y ago
"Hey just a heads up, but I'm going blind. Like my left eye is pretty much useless. So if you're ever trying to get my attention and you're standing to the side of me, especially on the left, I swear I'm not ignoring you. I literally just can't see you"
Then I'll be sure to crack a couple cheesy blind jokes to put them at ease (ie, if I can't find something "oh my god, you guys, I think... I might be blind")
permutationstation [OP]1 points5y ago
Yeah, that's something I need to get into the habit of doing. I just need to get over myself I guess and get it out in the open right away.
If I'm just meeting a person or group of people and we hit it off and someone says "we should do something sometime" and I respond with something like "yeah, totally but I can't see that or I can't drive there." then it seems like people often feel bad and feel like they don't want to inconvenience me for some reason and I never hear from them again. That's the part that sucks.
Thanks for your input!
kissitallgoodbye2 points5y ago
"Can't see that", like if they want to go to the movies or a park or something?
You could just say you dont drive, leave it at that.
permutationstation [OP]1 points5y ago
It depends on the activity. But, it's typically a sport related thing like frisbee golf, trap shooting, things of that nature.
SunnyLego1 points5y ago
I now use a cane so it's pretty obvious, but before that I used to say "By the way I'm not wearing sunglasses indoors/and or at night to look cool, I have a blinding eye disease." because I was sick of people pointing out my sunnies, then the awkward convo after where they felt like dickheads when I pointed out why.
bigblindmax1 points5y ago
I generally try to keep it as simple as possible. Using faces is an okay point of reference, but near/far objects work too.
"If I'm standing right in front of you i can see you ok, but if you're across the room I won't be able to see your facial features in any detail."
That usually works for casual conversation, like if someone notices my cane and asks. At a new job or something important, I'll also explain my other eccentricities (head tilt, twitching eyes). I could pass as sighted and if I'm not upfront about my vision people might think I'm a weirdo (or worse) when they notice that kinda thing.
permutationstation [OP]1 points5y ago
Oh man I've unintentionally ignored so many people throughout my life just because I didn't see them. I try to use examples when I can to help explain what I can and can't see. But, I often get the inevitable "YOU MEAN YOU CAN"T SEE THAT?" haha and they're baffled as to how I even walk around without running into the wall.
jomamma21 points5y ago
I used to not tell people and they just thought I was incredibly clumsy, but then one day at work one of my coworkers asked how many DUI's I had since I obviously didn't drive/have a driver's license. Now I just bring it up the first time I do something because of my vision loss. I'll just be "sorry I can't see that..." And then tell them about it. Usually they are fascinated by the story and ask plenty of questions. And once one person in the group knows they all know
permutationstation [OP]1 points5y ago
Ah the good ol' DUI assumption haha. No one has ever said it to my face, but I've heard it second hand from friends who have had people ask them about my irresponsible drinking. The ironic part is I don't drink at all haha.
iheartbaconsalt1 points5y ago
I have thick-ass glasses, so it's obvious. I tell people online, especially when gaming. It's usually epically hilarious, like when a friend is trying to explain it haha, such as the last 40 seconds of $1 video. Priceless.
permutationstation [OP]2 points5y ago
Nice. Yeah video games are pretty much out of the question for me. I have nystagmus so my eyes are all over the place and the fast pace of video games messes me up. So, unfortunately pretty much every guys night revolves around video games and me sitting there like a dingus not doing anything.
iheartbaconsalt1 points5y ago
YES, me too. My eyes move constantly. I had surgery on both to fix it when I was about 11, but the left failed, and the right kinda half-worked, so I don't really use my left eye at all.
permutationstation [OP]2 points5y ago
Dang. I was never offered surgery. Thankfully my condition has stayed the same all of my life and most likely will not improve or get worse which is good (I guess?). Have you ever worn contacts? I switched to wearing contacts in middle school and they actually help my eyes shake a little less.
iheartbaconsalt1 points5y ago
Oh yes, I tried hard and soft contacts in middle school, but that was the 80's. Have contacts changed much? The hard ones always shot out at the worst times. Tried soft lenses, but one day I cut my eye right open with one. I don't know how. Never tried again.
I have no idea what the surgery was called for the nystagmus...something to do with the muscles. I remember the stitches!
Our mission is to provide everyone with access to large- scale community websites for the good of humanity. Without ads, without tracking, without greed.