Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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How to support someone who may be losing their vision (self.Blind)
submitted by Bananaandcheese
Hey there, let me know if this isn't the appropriate place to post!
My boyfriend (early 20s) was picked up at an optician's appointment for having reduced peripheral vision + photophobia and he's currently undergoing some testing to determine what's going on with that. He's said they aren't sure about the diagnosis yet; it could be fine or he could end up losing his sight (potentially within 2 years). I'm aware that his symptoms sound quite like a retinal dystrophy.
My question is, obviously this will partially be to do with my boyfriend's personality, but how am I best off supporting him both currently and potentially over the coming years if he does end up losing his vision? He currently seems quite calm about it and is trying not to give me too much information but I'm aware that this could be due to the fact that I'm sitting my final medical exams this month, and I'm someone who is a bit of a worrier so he possibly doesn't want to deal with my anxiety about his condition. I care about him a lot so I don't want to put too much on his plate.
My boyfriend (early 20s) was picked up at an optician's appointment for having reduced peripheral vision + photophobia and he's currently undergoing some testing to determine what's going on with that. He's said they aren't sure about the diagnosis yet; it could be fine or he could end up losing his sight (potentially within 2 years). I'm aware that his symptoms sound quite like a retinal dystrophy.
My question is, obviously this will partially be to do with my boyfriend's personality, but how am I best off supporting him both currently and potentially over the coming years if he does end up losing his vision? He currently seems quite calm about it and is trying not to give me too much information but I'm aware that this could be due to the fact that I'm sitting my final medical exams this month, and I'm someone who is a bit of a worrier so he possibly doesn't want to deal with my anxiety about his condition. I care about him a lot so I don't want to put too much on his plate.
meeow_me 3 points 5y ago
It always helps my boyfriend "recharge" to be around other blind people. He is involved with the National Federation of the Blind and they have conventions and meetings that not only teach you about resources available to the blind, but they also let you be around other blind people, which can be really helpful. For now, just listen to what he tells you would help if he decides to open up. If you won't be leaving him once he loses his vision, be sure to tell him that you want to go on this journey with him and you're here for the long haul. It's helpful to be reassured during times of change. Best of luck!
Bananaandcheese [OP] 2 points 5y ago
That sounds like a really good idea, I'll try to find a UK/scottish equivalent or maybe a local group if in a few months time we do end up getting told he'll lose his sight.
I know people do sometimes leave people when they become disabled in some way but just doing so at the outset seems really strange and harsh. I realise sometimes new disabilities can drastically change relationships and sometimes people can't cope, but I think often if you really love your partner you want to support them through those changes. (And given how much he's put up with as far as my anxiety/ADHD/dyspraxia type things go I think I'm lucky to have him.)
I'll try to let him know I'll be there when he needs it.
I know people do sometimes leave people when they become disabled in some way but just doing so at the outset seems really strange and harsh. I realise sometimes new disabilities can drastically change relationships and sometimes people can't cope, but I think often if you really love your partner you want to support them through those changes. (And given how much he's put up with as far as my anxiety/ADHD/dyspraxia type things go I think I'm lucky to have him.)
I'll try to let him know I'll be there when he needs it.
carolineecouture 2 points 5y ago
First find out what is really happening. Anticipation if a bad outcome is very stressful. If he is losing his vision give him time and space to mourn if necessary. Others have mentioned services and it might be a good to try those services out before they are really needed. Good luck!
Bananaandcheese [OP] 2 points 5y ago
Thanks for pointing this out, the uncertainty over whether or not he's actually losing his sight somehow is making it more stressful, at least from my end (which is maybe a bit selfish of me). I'm glad I've started looking for advice now though since I feel like I'll know more about how to best support him if in 4 months time we do get told he'll end up blind.
AngieBeatDown 2 points 5y ago
When I lost my sight I just wanted to be left alone. Give him time.
There are counciling phone services depending on where you are that helped and the RNIB trained me to be independent now I help others going through the same thing
There are counciling phone services depending on where you are that helped and the RNIB trained me to be independent now I help others going through the same thing
Bananaandcheese [OP] 1 points 5y ago
Thanks for directing me to RNIB - it's a bit silly of me but I'm going through a lot stress-wise at the moment even before hearing about my partner's potential vision loss so I somehow forgot that there are sources of support and practical help.
I'll make sure to give him time and space and try to help him feel comfortable accessing any services he may need.
I'll make sure to give him time and space and try to help him feel comfortable accessing any services he may need.
AngieBeatDown 1 points 5y ago
Yea that's what helped me get yourself trained to guide too it's a great skill which may come in handy guide dogs offer a good service too
humanfactor4 2 points 5y ago
Depending on where you and your boyfriend live, there may be several agencies that can assist. In the U.S., assistive technologies, employment training and recruitment services, discounted or free medical services, and support groups are available. Lighthouse (nonprofit), Division of Blind Services (state agency), American Foundation for the Blind, and National Federation of the Blind are able to help. Their services are helpful and taxpayer or donor funded.
They can answer your questions better than I can. Services offered vary by state/province/country.
They can answer your questions better than I can. Services offered vary by state/province/country.
LUCKYNOLUCK 1 points 5y ago
Help him meet successful blind people his age or blind people that are in the same profession as him.
SWaspMale 1 points 5y ago
Maybe just help him imagine a low-vision lifestyle, Maybe walking distance to grocery and activities, or good public transportation. Maybe be there if he needs help moving. There are also lots of assistive devices, even dogs. He might like help sorting through all those options.
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