Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Guys: are blind girls leaving us in the dust (self.Blind)
submitted 5.354696534207819y ago by [deleted]
So I am really interested in the way people act and think. I was mulling over a question in my head about dating in the blind world. Often not more than ever I see guys in the blind world making posts about how they want to find someone to love. Something I have noticed when I ask them about other blind girls is that they say the blind girls are not interested or they seam like they would rather be alone. For example my one friend in college who I asked this same question she said that "Because were women and we know what we have too do in life because we have been oppressed in the past. When I asked this girl what she planned to do with her life she just told me that she always saw her self working. She had never even given the thought that someone out there might actually like her or even want to start a family with her. Now I know what your going to say there are rules to every acception. I would say yes there is but this is something I have noticed in the training centers I went too. When I was at a training center in Arkansas I noticed that there wasn't really or hardly any interactions between the blind men or women. The lunch room would be literally split down the middle with all guys on one side and girls on the other with maybe a few guys on the girls side. Now this wasn't a rule but people generally segregated them selves. Now I would have to ask is this because of up bringing or because most blind kids went to blind schools? I don't know that answer. And also one guy told me at the center to not even trust the girls or even talk to most of them at all.
matt_may 7 points 5y ago
People are all individuals. Do not judge by sex or you'll miss out on some great people.
derrekjthompson 5 points 5y ago
Blind women have an easier time in the dating world than blind men do. If your a blind woman who looks atractive you can get away with a lot, although it also probably opens you up to victomization. As a man, your social value isn't based on your looks as much and most blind people are poor and socially awkward. Sorry, downvote me all you want but it's the truth. Of course not all. I'm not saying they're aren't blind men with game, I'm not one but I've known a few, or blind men that are good looking, I am one of these but as I explained for a man that doesn't get you as far. Anyways, blind women have more options than blind men when it comes to dating and because blind men and women are taught to devalue themselves by society a blind woman feels like she can do better than a blind man. For instance not having a car is a big no-no in the dating world. I'll stop before I get banned. lol
Throwaway077717 5 points 5y ago
Well, you're not wrong.
If we're making sweeping generalizations, most blind men (and women, too, honestly) could really use a high dosage of self-improvement. More confidence, more hobbies, better attitudes, attention to fitness and fashion. How many blind guys take care of their bodies? Eat right? do most blind guys even lift? Look people in the eye while talking to them? have hobbies besides messaging other blind people online and eating pizza? Understand that a torn, ratty t-shirt and baggy jeans doesn't always cut it?
I know it's a bit of a meme on Reddit to tell men who are fairly or unfairly judged as losers to hit up r/malefashionadvice or r/fitness, but, well, blind guys could honestly benefit from starting with r/malefashionadvice or r/fitness. I’m not trying to be rude or a troll. But a little work makes a big difference.
Throwaway account, because people don't like to hear this.
If we're making sweeping generalizations, most blind men (and women, too, honestly) could really use a high dosage of self-improvement. More confidence, more hobbies, better attitudes, attention to fitness and fashion. How many blind guys take care of their bodies? Eat right? do most blind guys even lift? Look people in the eye while talking to them? have hobbies besides messaging other blind people online and eating pizza? Understand that a torn, ratty t-shirt and baggy jeans doesn't always cut it?
I know it's a bit of a meme on Reddit to tell men who are fairly or unfairly judged as losers to hit up r/malefashionadvice or r/fitness, but, well, blind guys could honestly benefit from starting with r/malefashionadvice or r/fitness. I’m not trying to be rude or a troll. But a little work makes a big difference.
Throwaway account, because people don't like to hear this.
Eisah 1 points 5y ago
I think this is pretty solid advice. I'm sighted, but someone being blind wouldn't stop me from dating them. You have to make a good first impression, though, because there's hundreds of thousands of people to sort through. Based on the dating sites I've been looking through, a lot of sighted guys could use this advice, too.
For me? I like a guy who looks and presents himself as classy. Not arrogant or 'above other people'. Just someone who takes care of himself and has a professional look. I'm also into cosplay and such, so someone who is interested in or at least is neutral to partaking in the same hobby is a bonus, too.
I apply the same logic to myself. Recently I've decided I wanted to try dating, and I realized that I need to get myself in a place where I feel comfortable with that. I've gone to the gym, watched what I eat, and plan on making myself a new wardrobe soon - all before I've started making serious efforts in actually looking for someone. About 8lbs to go and I'll probably hit 19-20% body fat and be pretty darn fit. All in all, it'll probably about 8 months of effort in the end, but when you want a date you have to go in knowing you're not the only one and it doesn't hurt to stack things in your favor as much as you can. Fashion and fitness play a part in that.
On the other hand, I do really feel for the people in some of these posts. It's hard to imagine people treating someone so coldly. Don't give up! Keep clean cut, walk tall and be kind and you'll find someone!
For me? I like a guy who looks and presents himself as classy. Not arrogant or 'above other people'. Just someone who takes care of himself and has a professional look. I'm also into cosplay and such, so someone who is interested in or at least is neutral to partaking in the same hobby is a bonus, too.
I apply the same logic to myself. Recently I've decided I wanted to try dating, and I realized that I need to get myself in a place where I feel comfortable with that. I've gone to the gym, watched what I eat, and plan on making myself a new wardrobe soon - all before I've started making serious efforts in actually looking for someone. About 8lbs to go and I'll probably hit 19-20% body fat and be pretty darn fit. All in all, it'll probably about 8 months of effort in the end, but when you want a date you have to go in knowing you're not the only one and it doesn't hurt to stack things in your favor as much as you can. Fashion and fitness play a part in that.
On the other hand, I do really feel for the people in some of these posts. It's hard to imagine people treating someone so coldly. Don't give up! Keep clean cut, walk tall and be kind and you'll find someone!
SnoobertDoobertDoo 1 points 5y ago
It's probably confirmation bias on my part, but the only blind people I know who have steady jobs, are in shape, and go on dates or have partners/families are the ones who participate in blind sports. Mind you most of the visually impaired people I know, I met through blind sports, but it's worth mentioning that blind people in Toronto are very image conscious for the most part.
intrepidia 2 points 5y ago
Toronto VIP here as well. As someone I know has framed it, There's the competent blind, the incompetent blind and those on the fence. Sport is a good proxy for intention and motivation. As have heard third hand from someone who runs a walking group, If you show up, that's a strong indication that you wanted to be here.
As for image conscious, do you mean deportment or vanity?
As for image conscious, do you mean deportment or vanity?
SnoobertDoobertDoo 1 points 5y ago
I mean that they care about dressing appropriately for a situation/not looking like a slob. So proper deportment.
[deleted] [OP] 1 points 5y ago
I keep my self looking good I dress well. I do like to swim and do it any chance I get and that is mostly how I keep in shape. I'm not a bad looking guy ither and if I started getting fat I would work it off with ither walking on a tread mill.
pomegranateskin 1 points 5y ago
Even most sighted guys just wear sweats, basketball shorts or t shirts with pop culture references.
AllHarlowsEve 4 points 5y ago
A lot of people who went to schools for the blind are socially awkward, rude, ignorant of basic social cues, full of drama, and socially/emotionally far behind their sighted peers.
I'm sure many blind people know at least a few people that are in their 30's, 40's and 50's but act like teenagers. I had to cut off contact with a man nearly old enough to be my grandpa because he couldn't accept that flirty banter from a barely legal person in a relationship doesn't mean they want sex.
Many of the blind men I know that are single but not trying to be are uncomfortable to be around for any length of time, moreso if they've been single for years. I have probably one blind male friend, out of all the blind males I'm acquainted with, that doesn't want to be single and really shouldn't be. He's cute, sweet, funny, talented, and even one-on-one he just seems cool, not uncomfortable.
With girls, though, ditzy is considered cute, and many men will put up with a lot of bullshit to get a warm hole.
For example, I had a blind friend who was great, really close to me, we texted literally every day. Then he started dating a blind girl who expected him to pay for ubers, guide her everywhere, pay for everything except what her SSI covered, etc. Oh, and she's a pathological liar and tried to have phone sex with his best friend about a week after they started dating. She's not even the worst blind woman I know.
I'm sure many blind people know at least a few people that are in their 30's, 40's and 50's but act like teenagers. I had to cut off contact with a man nearly old enough to be my grandpa because he couldn't accept that flirty banter from a barely legal person in a relationship doesn't mean they want sex.
Many of the blind men I know that are single but not trying to be are uncomfortable to be around for any length of time, moreso if they've been single for years. I have probably one blind male friend, out of all the blind males I'm acquainted with, that doesn't want to be single and really shouldn't be. He's cute, sweet, funny, talented, and even one-on-one he just seems cool, not uncomfortable.
With girls, though, ditzy is considered cute, and many men will put up with a lot of bullshit to get a warm hole.
For example, I had a blind friend who was great, really close to me, we texted literally every day. Then he started dating a blind girl who expected him to pay for ubers, guide her everywhere, pay for everything except what her SSI covered, etc. Oh, and she's a pathological liar and tried to have phone sex with his best friend about a week after they started dating. She's not even the worst blind woman I know.
KillerLag 5 points 5y ago
Agreed, a lot of people who go to the specialized schools and don't get socialized properly end up being socially stunted. Oftentimes, they only end up dating others who went through the same school because of shared experiences. That isn't a guarantee, sometimes people do learn new skills.
I had a low vision coworker who used to leer at young women... At one point, I actually had to put my hand on his shoulder and say "Dude, that is [coworker's name]'s daughter.. and she's 16."
I had a low vision coworker who used to leer at young women... At one point, I actually had to put my hand on his shoulder and say "Dude, that is [coworker's name]'s daughter.. and she's 16."
derrekjthompson 3 points 5y ago
Thank you. This is sort of what I was trying to say.
estj136 1 points 5y ago
I spend so little time in the blind community I don’t know. But from what I see online they can be very separated Usually in society especially younger it can be like that but in the blind community it can be pretty extreme. I’ve never fit in the blind communities.
Oh the guys also fight the girls, they get in to relationships and they fight, and then more people get in to it.
On this app I was on, kind of still on, I am really not on it anymore, but seriously, both whine that they have no partner, try to sell themselves, sometimes like meats at a market, and no one gets anyone.
Oh the guys also fight the girls, they get in to relationships and they fight, and then more people get in to it.
On this app I was on, kind of still on, I am really not on it anymore, but seriously, both whine that they have no partner, try to sell themselves, sometimes like meats at a market, and no one gets anyone.
bradley22 1 points 5y ago
For me, it's personality first but if I had to choose between sighted/VI and blind, i'd have to go for sighted/VI. Why? Simple, sighted people can see. They could help me across the road if i'm feeling lazy, they can see new shops open on the street, they can describe things to me that blind people cannot. I'm not confident when it comes to going out, I can travel around London no problem but chatting to women is another story. Quite afew people on Vorail said I don't know what love is and things like that but honestly I do, I'm just saying that if I had to choos I'd choose to date a sighted person.
SnoobertDoobertDoo 1 points 5y ago
I responded to the wrong comment. Please excuse me, but to answer your question; schools for the blind are relatively new. Many people don't become visually impaired until later on in life. According to the World Health Organization most people who are legally blind or totally blind don't start experiencing symptoms of their conditions until middle age or later. I forget the exact number but apparently only about 20% of the visually impaired people on earth are born legally blind or completely blind.
[deleted] [OP] 0 points 5y ago
This thing kind of thing struck me as odd and it was something I wanted to explorer further. I mean most of the people I ever were with were online and when I told them I couldn't drive to meet them they cut contact. I only ever had one girl who said My positives out way my negatives. She said that she would gladly drive for me and help me with anything I ever needed. But most of all she treated me like a person. Sadly it didn't work out with her.
matt_may 2 points 5y ago
Happily married with kids. My wife married me knowing she'd have to drive me around.
derrekjthompson 1 points 5y ago
This doesn't disprove anything I said. I was speaking about broad social patterns. Obviously there will be exceptions. If these patterns didn't exist, or there was no value in examining them, sociology wouldn't be a thing.
matt_may 1 points 5y ago
That's fine but we aren't discussing data on social patterns. You were talking about your personal experience so I responded with mine.
derrekjthompson 1 points 5y ago
Well fair enough. This is all just antecdotal so you got me there.
[deleted] [OP] 1 points 5y ago
Wait to go man you got something good there.
derrekjthompson 1 points 5y ago
See, this is the kind of thing I'm talking about. Blind men do it too, but just not as much, because they can't. Because he has a sighted wife you say he's got something good there. I used to be the same way and at least subconsciously saw a sighted female as being better than a blind girl even though I'm blind myself. Just think about it for a minute.
BLINDtorontonian 1 points 5y ago
You sound like a ferengi.
[deleted] [OP] 1 points 5y ago
[deleted]
[deleted] [OP] 1 points 5y ago
For one thing I will tell you my family don't want me going on dating sites because they say it will never work. But then I'm told if you wait good things will come.
[deleted] [OP] 2 points 5y ago
[deleted]
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