This is something I'm putting together for a project, and would like someone to critique a description of a classical painting by Caravaggio.

I'll message it to you. I'm asking you to tell me if it's decent, and what improvements you would suggest.

Edit: This is great feedback! I agree that the description jumps around a bit and needs to be smoothed out in much the way you guys are suggesting. I'm trying to follow a framework I was advised to follow when studying up on audio description by:

* reading,
* taking a course, and
* attending ACB conferences to listen to both career describers and the blind discuss the process.

Of course the framework is just a starting point, and now I'll be polishing it with the help of your constructive comments.

My biggest takeaway from the past few years of learning about audio description has been that while authorities in the profession of audio description and those they serve do great work together, sometimes the voices of blind users differ in opinion of what they would like. That's why I'm here. I'm trying to directly get blind users of audio description's take and their desires for the type of product they receive without passing through sighted folks well-intentioned, but sometimes differing filter.

For instance, I'd like to give more "details expressed with more relevance" that you've asked for, but I'm also balancing with my training to watch out for the traps of telling the visually impaired what to think, conveying flawed observations, and excessively imposing beliefs. So, yes, I was hoping for encouragement to share more immersive and evocative imagery, but I've held back some because, especially with good art, there are so many interpretations that I have to be careful to not hide nor impose with the biases that are inherent in every person. I'm trying to enable the reader to discover insights and layers that I, or even other sighted folks, may not have grasped.

Some folks look at a painting and think it is dark while others might see it as a bright light dawning. Some may take it and enjoy it at face value. Then some others will list undeniable clues which the artist included in ways that had to slip past the censors of their time - while clearly making an intentional, pointed, and provocative statement.

Thank you for the frank observations and your permissions to expand as I was hoping you'd want.

By the way, if you know of anyone else who'd be willing to give me feedback on this project, I'd greatly appreciate you letting them know.

Thanks again!