So I'm legally blind, yadda yadda yadda. Can see a few feet ahead of me.
A few years ago, I was walking around on campus with my white cane. This dude (who was on his phone, of course) walks out of his classroom and plows right into me. He didn't knock me down, but he definitely was the Guy That Ran Into The Blind Guy.
Now, I love me some blind jokes. In my crowd of friends, I'm the one constantly making blind jokes. (Because I have The Blind Card, and it's in Braille).
This dude running straight into me would have been the ***perfect*** time to jokingly say "What are you, blind?!" and I missed the chance. It's been four years, and I still lie awake at night thinking about that.
Anybody else like making blind jokes? Way I see it (lol), we've already got it, might as well joke about it.
A blind guy walks into a bar...ow.
(Also, if you're a drinker..consider the fact that you'll never have to be the designated driver)!
DeafBlindAndy24 points4y ago
I've had the reverse line happen a couple of times. Someone walks into me and says "what are you, blind?" and I get to say "yes!" and wave my cane in their faces. The flabbergasted reaction was rather satisfying.
zombiegamer723 [OP]11 points4y ago
They didn't see it coming.
coffeeorigami3 points4y ago
Lol
quanin8 points4y ago
that's been me. Oh, the satisfaction.
coffeeorigami7 points4y ago
Same. It’s so satisfying being able to counteract a rude person in that fashion.
quanin14 points4y ago
I have absolutely 0 problem cracking jokes about my situation. It actually surprises some people. but, this has been me for as long as I've been me, so... eh. Honestly, sighted people end up more offended about things re: blindness than I do. It's moderately amusing.
AllHarlowsEve4 points4y ago
YES! My family, particularly one uncle and my grandpa, love cracking jokes on everyone. My grandmother and my uncles daughters have been brought to tears over jokes that I was cackling at, because I find it funny.
SunnyLego14 points4y ago
I love blind jokes, I just can't see the punchline.
HotCheetosHoe8 points4y ago
Fuck, that’s gonna stick with you for the rest of your life tbh. I’m not blind enough yet to make blind jokes imo (only one eye is legally blind, the other is slowly catching up. Gotta love dat slow descent) but the “blind joke pass” is the only thing that makes me a bit less scared lol.
coffeeorigami2 points4y ago
I’ve been in the same situation. My right eye is totally blind (and collapsing, I’m having it removed surgically next Tuesday) but I have periodic bouts of blindness and in my left eye often. When anyone asks me to “keep an eye on something” I can always promise with a straight face that I will keep one eye on it :) And hey, if you ever want to talk about the monocle lifestyle (et.al.) feel free to pm me - you’re always welcome :)
HotCheetosHoe2 points4y ago
That’s hilarious! I’m totally stealing your joke. And thank you! I think a monocle might make me dizzy, but maybe it’ll work?
coffeeorigami3 points4y ago
Scientific studies have shown that monocles only work if they’re used with a top hat. So long as you rock the hat, your monocle should function properly :)
HotCheetosHoe2 points4y ago
Oh perfect! I am an excellent candidate then🤩
AllHarlowsEve8 points4y ago
My favorite blind joke is "A blind guy tripped into a well. He couldn't see that well."
coffeeorigami6 points4y ago
I love making blind jokes in order to cheer up my mom, who can (sometimes) feels guilty that I’ve lost most of my sight due to an autoimmune disease (she often wonders if there was something she could of done to prevent it - there wasn’t). When I was 18 I lost my sight for the first time, and since we lived in a small coastal town in Florida, my ophthalmologist was located in Orlando (about an hour’s drive away). We had a rhythm to those visits: schedule the appointment for as early as possible (less waiting room time) get a bagel on the way, and then after the appointment lunch + a fun/relaxing activity. It made an already stressful and arduous situation less difficult.
Anyways, one day for our post-appointment activity my mom took me to the Florida Mall (which is huge) and after her guiding me around for a bit we decided to get coffee. My mom left me at the coffee shop so she could go to the bathroom. It became very crowded, so I slowly moved backwards in order to get out of people’s way and have my back to a wall. I had my sunglasses on, but no cane, and I bumped into a woman who had stepped behind me. She was not happy, and snapped out “What, are you blind?!?” quite sarcastically. I apologized for my clumsiness and said, “Yes, I am. I’m so sorry - I’m not used to it yet and I didn’t know you were standing there. Again, Im so sorry”. This lady was *mortified* and very remorseful. She apologized repeatedly, bought me a coffee, and guided me to a nearby table and waited with me until my mom returned. Then she apologized to my mother. We both assured her no harm done, and so on - but I’d bet dollars to donuts that she *never* used that phrase again.
TheWorldHatesPaul5 points4y ago
I do love always having a DD!
tj_the_blind_gamer3 points4y ago
Blind jokes are great, ever since I lost my vision at the age of 15 I've been cracking blind jokes every time I live stream. Most of them are a little cheesy and predictable but I never see him coming. For example, I was playing Call of Duty the other day with a buddy of mine and I heard an enemy behind a wall so I decided to try and shoot through the wall eventually killing my enemy. After the match my friend and I were talking about something random and the guy I killed started talking trash and asked "are you blind or something that accuracy was horrible.". I replied something like that. My friend and I started laughing, then my friend just burst out laughing saying "you just got killed by a blind guy through a wall.". By that time the guy was laughing alongside us. Not the funniest thing in the world but it was a fun experience.
bradley223 points4y ago
Blind jokes are awesome! But as someone said, they have to be good enough to make you think about what's being said. But surprising sighties with my humor is always good.
Laser_Lens_43 points4y ago
Blind jokes are fun. My only caviat is that they actually have some effort put into them.
Had a guy on a MC server, back when my eyes worked a bit more, say something along the lines of "you're blind which is funny."
Not verbatim and I doubt I have the logs anymore but I got fairly annoyed. We were both admins so that was fun to deal with afterward /s.
coffeeorigami1 points4y ago
Yeah - there’s jokes in good faith and then there’s just being a dick. That dude fell into the latter category.
gracefulltree2 points4y ago
Some dude ran into me on the sidewalk the other day. I had my cane out for obvious reasons. The guy said: “All forgiven, I know you’re sorry.”
Amonwilde2 points4y ago
You'll have more opportunities to trot it out, trust me. And if not, that's great! It means people aren't smashing into you. And yeah, blind jokes are pretty funny, as long as we're telling them.
UltimateAtrophy2 points4y ago
I'll try to ask my father in law if he has one. Of course going blind when older, he's still coming to grips with his situation.
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