Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Can I ask for advice on how to best support and accommodate a blind relative? (self.Blind)
submitted by unitool
I have a cousin who is legally blind now. He’s going to be moving from Denver to his own apartment here in our small town, and I wanted to ask how I can best support him, and also ask what I need to do in order to avoid insulting him because of some wrong assumption on my part.
He’s been slowly going blind for many years, so he is very independent and able to do most everything for himself, but he’s getting a seeing-eye dog now, and he will be completely blind very soon.
On top of everything else, we are more or less strangers, having only met a couple times, even though we’re both grown-ass adults, so that adds a little extra difficulty, because we lack the familiarity that would enable a frank discussion of touchy subjects.
Are there any good books I could read that would help me help him? Any suggestions for what to do or not do, say or not say, would be great.
Thanks.
He’s been slowly going blind for many years, so he is very independent and able to do most everything for himself, but he’s getting a seeing-eye dog now, and he will be completely blind very soon.
On top of everything else, we are more or less strangers, having only met a couple times, even though we’re both grown-ass adults, so that adds a little extra difficulty, because we lack the familiarity that would enable a frank discussion of touchy subjects.
Are there any good books I could read that would help me help him? Any suggestions for what to do or not do, say or not say, would be great.
Thanks.
Rw0004 13 points 4y ago
My 5 year old son is legally blind (very little vision). I find it best to let him ask when he needs help even at this young age. I found that he got self conscious with people being overly accommodating and felt somewhat singled out.
I’d say let them know that you’re there if they need anything at all in the same way you would be for any other relative and get to know them so that they are comfortable enough to ask if they need anything.
I think as people with vision we fear the unknown and can’t quite comprehend what it would be like, whereas someone that has lived it is used to it doesn’t see it as quite as much of a big deal.
Be supportive but not condescending if that makes sense. Don’t try to do everything. The worst thing you could do is to make someone feel like they’re helpless.
I’d say let them know that you’re there if they need anything at all in the same way you would be for any other relative and get to know them so that they are comfortable enough to ask if they need anything.
I think as people with vision we fear the unknown and can’t quite comprehend what it would be like, whereas someone that has lived it is used to it doesn’t see it as quite as much of a big deal.
Be supportive but not condescending if that makes sense. Don’t try to do everything. The worst thing you could do is to make someone feel like they’re helpless.
unitool [OP] 3 points 4y ago
That’s really helpful. Thank you for that!
Rw0004 3 points 4y ago
No problem mate. Enjoy the experience 🙂
saharacanuck 9 points 4y ago
You mentioned that you live in a small town. Being open to giving him a ride once in a while might go a long way. Especially to places that are ridiculously far by public transport but close by car.
unitool [OP] 3 points 4y ago
For sure...we don’t have any public transportation in town, I think maybe only one person running an Uber, and most of the real medical people are either 30 miles south or 90 miles north, so I expect he’ll need a fair amount of driving around to appointments and whatever.
On the other hand, the town is very small and flat, and the weather is generally really nice, so it is easy to walk to almost anywhere in town, no matter where in town you live. It’s pretty great.
On the other hand, the town is very small and flat, and the weather is generally really nice, so it is easy to walk to almost anywhere in town, no matter where in town you live. It’s pretty great.
fastfinge 3 points 4y ago
Man, sounds like somewhere I'd like to live. Though it really depends on what's actually in town. For example, a lot of the small towns around hear pretty much require driving half an hour or more to a Walmart to do any real shopping. Howe're you fixed for groceries/corner stores/other daily shopping? Also, if the local businesses are small mom and pop shops, they probably don't have websites and aren't on Google Maps. That means a blind person would have a pretty tough time discovering them. If you frequent small businesses like that, consider letting your cousin know about them.
unitool [OP] 2 points 4y ago
Those are great points, thanks!
We have a small Krogers with a pharmacy, and also an independent pharmacy, and also an organic grocery store. Other than the Kroger, almost everything is a local, non-franchise business like restaraunts and coffee shops or store for rafters and bike riders, etc. it sounds like we’ll need to make sure he’s familiar with everything.
The nearest Walmart is 30 miles away, but we like it that way as long as we still have our Kroger’s. :)
We have a small Krogers with a pharmacy, and also an independent pharmacy, and also an organic grocery store. Other than the Kroger, almost everything is a local, non-franchise business like restaraunts and coffee shops or store for rafters and bike riders, etc. it sounds like we’ll need to make sure he’s familiar with everything.
The nearest Walmart is 30 miles away, but we like it that way as long as we still have our Kroger’s. :)
BitterDoGooder 7 points 4y ago
My son has been legally blind since age 2. I agree with letting your cousin lead but definitely take one cousinly privilege by introducing frank conversation, something like, "dude we're cousins and should be there for each other but I'm going to trust you to tell me when you need something and I'll do the same, ok?" Remember, it goes both ways. He may be blind but he can still help you out and be a good friend and cousin to you. Avoid treating him like a project and you will both be very happy.
retrolental_morose 7 points 4y ago
Just being supportive is probably the best thing. Avoid avoiding things, if that makes sense: don't quit with visual language like watching tv, seeing the game, many blind people find that weird.
Be open to helping as directed, i'd say. If you see a chance that you being able to drive/walk him somewhere unfamiliar or hard to get early-on, don't be afraid to offer.
Mainstream tech can really be a good sparking point for a chat - blind and sighted alike use Alexa and Google Home the same way, for instance.
And assuming he's open, don't be afraid to ask. most blind people I know under the age of 35 are more than happy to talk about what they can or can't do.
Be open to helping as directed, i'd say. If you see a chance that you being able to drive/walk him somewhere unfamiliar or hard to get early-on, don't be afraid to offer.
Mainstream tech can really be a good sparking point for a chat - blind and sighted alike use Alexa and Google Home the same way, for instance.
And assuming he's open, don't be afraid to ask. most blind people I know under the age of 35 are more than happy to talk about what they can or can't do.
RadioDJDan 3 points 4y ago
Amazing advice. Do not go out of your way to change your vocabulary. Ask if they would like help and if they decline, take it and go on with your day. Ask questions. Be transparent but be logical. Don't ask a question that you otherwise may be able to figure out an answer to. Offer support and be as understanding as possible in these transitional times.
unitool [OP] 1 points 4y ago
Awesome, thanks for that!
retrolental_morose 5 points 4y ago
I should have said "we" - I was born blind and have spent all of my life so far in that state. I go to work, take my taughter to weekend classes and school, walk the dog, read books, watch movies, sometimes manage to pay my bills on time....
Life in the dark can work out. Please come back with more questions. :)
Life in the dark can work out. Please come back with more questions. :)
unitool [OP] 2 points 4y ago
Thanks again!
Shawn is actually cooking us our dinner today, or at least doing most of the work, thanks to apps on his phone, so we will probably have a lot to talk about today. I hope to be able to learn more about his dog and his apartment and all the things he’ll need to do to adjust to living in a new place.
I try to put myself in his shoes. It seems like a potentially overwhelming challenge for anyone, so I’m really happy that he is going to be living here close to his family now.
Shawn is actually cooking us our dinner today, or at least doing most of the work, thanks to apps on his phone, so we will probably have a lot to talk about today. I hope to be able to learn more about his dog and his apartment and all the things he’ll need to do to adjust to living in a new place.
I try to put myself in his shoes. It seems like a potentially overwhelming challenge for anyone, so I’m really happy that he is going to be living here close to his family now.
retrolental_morose 3 points 4y ago
Apps are fantastic. We use them for identifying foodstuffs, ordering groceries, reading cooking instructions and reading expiry dates. Then there's the connectivity aspect - we have a meat thermometer which links to an app which we use for joints of meat. You can ctrl instantpot and some other white goods with apps, and we have some smart plugs powering a few things which we control with Alexa, who can also adjust our lights and gas heating.
Crazy to think that a few short years ago, we couldn't do any of that.
Crazy to think that a few short years ago, we couldn't do any of that.
TwistyTurret 6 points 4y ago
My boyfriend who is blind since birth lived alone for 12 years before we bought a house and car together. This included cooking, going to work, going out to eat, etc, alone. Now that we are together, the only thing I do because he can’t is drive our car. We have found that some things are faster if I do them, such as I read menus when we go out and I lead the way in unfamiliar places. But he can get those things done when he is by himself perfectly fine. We just like to save time so I do those parts. We found our own system that works for us.
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