Here's the comment I've just left:

> YTA

> I am totally blind, and naturally have a bunch of friends and acquaintances who are blind all over the world. Most of them are incredibly smart and talented,
and they are not "deprived of all the joys that life has to offer"

> I am just a few months away from getting my engineering degree abroad, and I am neither first nor the last blind to do that. Just in my close circle, my
peers have either graduated or about to graduate from majors like law, psychology, statistics, mathematics, international relations, music and so on. They
are all living successful lives. Some of them have been to dozens of countries and had many incredible experiences that life has to offer.

> Just like an average Joe, a blind person can make the best of life if they want to. And just like an average Joe, they could suck at life too. It has nothing
to do with the blindness.
> Please don't feel insulted, but Considering that your wife, the person whom you intend to spend the rest of your life with, has such a condition in her
family, I don't think it is too wrong for anyone to expect you to have at least some degree of decency to research and be informed about blindness in general
before having such ignorant opinions.

UGH!

My son has RP. In his case, it is autosomal recessive. It doesn't "run in our family" but my husband and I both have the recessive gene. In our case, we have a 25% chance of any of our children, boy or girl, having RP.

I was told I couldn't have any more children because of a medical condition I have before we received his RP diagnosis at age 4, even though I wanted another baby. So DH got the big snip. But even if I could have another biological child, I wouldn't let the risk of 25% risk of RP stop me from having another baby with my husband. My RP son, 7, is legally blind and is a rock star at Braille. He won 3rd place in his state's Braille Challenge this year in his division. He's also getting really good with his cane. He doesn't let RP stop him!

Blindness may be a lift altering condition, but it is not a life limiting disease. It's also a condition that can be adapted to. If DH and I had a 25% risk for some other condition that shortened our future children's lifespans or put them in physical pain, we'd likely have a different outlook and adopt instead.

I'm sorry this hurt you to read. It hurt me to read too, if that gives you any consolation. And the answer to OP's question in AITA is yes, he is the A-hole.

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The fact that the poster is even asking the question means they shouldn't bring any child into the world, let alone a blind child. They're just obviously not ready to be a parent.

Omg it hurts really much.
How can they compare blindness to a disease that makes life not worth living....
I hate it how healthy people judge people with conditions for having children. We are the ones who know best that having a disability doesn't mean you can't be happy...

Sounds like the guy hasn't talked about RP with his wife much.

I came here specifically to talk about this!!

I’m a female carrier of RP (on my maternal side) and even though it doesn’t fully affect me as a person it’s been very prominent throughout my life. My mom is a symptomatic carrier (right now at 52 she has the same level of vision her brother had at 20, so I guess just a slower version of RP?) My uncle is about 60 and kicking ass right now. He’s super independent, has lived alone most of his life but just got married to an awesome sighted woman, he has a good job and travels places often. I’ve always admired him.

My mom was an amazing optometrist until she retired at 50 due to her declining vision. Now she spends her time listening to audio books and conferences, doing a lot of yoga, and hanging out with her friends.

Especially in this day and age where there are so many resources available for visually impaired people, I find it sad that OP thinks this will completely ruin their kid’s life. It’s an adaptation, sure, but not completely life-altering.

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If this guy is as negative and closed off about his potential kid’s future. I don’t imagine him being able to be the type of dad that will be able to provide his kid with an environment and opportunities where he will excel. The type of life that the kid deserves. But who knows, it’s scary how many people think like that, and then they have kids with “special needs” and keep on being surprised by what their kids can achieve.

Okay, sure RP sucks to have. But, they’re a bit of an asshole to assume the kid won’t have a good and happy life.

I have RP,rod cone dystrophy AND amd dry. I love life, I have a wife and 2 labs. One is an active guide the other retired. I cook,clean help put around our house we owned for 2 years now. Doesn't this seem like a horrible existence? Not including going to Iceland,Ireland,Italy,cuba and mexico on vacation. This truly means the end of any persons life!


PS. First guide dog at 22,bought house at 27 used cane at 20 and first cataract surgery at age 6.

Do it! Your child will only thrive if you treat them normal and make them work and act as everyone else.

I find this thread really hurtful. It's terrible to see the attitudes that people have about blind people. "If I had RP I would shoot myself." That's really what I want to hear on a Monday, thanks internet. People really don't get htat you can life a happy life with blindness or other major disabilities.

I realize that I might be in the minority here, but as someone who is currently in their 20's and is going blind to RP, I don't think this person's opinion is wrong. Going blind is going to ruin large parts of my life, it will disrupt my schooling, my dream job, my hobbies, my independence, etc. Having to deal with a degenerative disease is exhausting, especially considering that so much depends on my sight. As much as blind people can (and do) have wonderful lives, who the hell would willingly put their children through this?

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If my parents had made the choice to have children, knowing that they carried RP and did not consider the implications, I would be furious. I do not want to be blind, I do not want to deal with this disease, and **I would not want to have to carry the burden because my parents didn't look at alternatives**. If this couple can prevent another person from getting this disease, then they should. I'm not sure if genetic screening is possible in this case, or if they have the money for it, but it should be something they consider at length.

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Someone expressing that they do not want to be blind, and that they do not want someone they love to be blind is not an insult to blind people. Going blind is, at the very least, a difficulty and most people do not want to make their/their children's lives more difficult.

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All that being said, I didn't read past the top comments, so I'm not sure what people are saying beyond that/I did not consider it in my response.

This one struck me. I'm a 28 year old male and I always wanted kids. Thing is, I know I'll probably pass along the RP that I have, like from my grandmother to my mother and from my mother to me. And it really made me think if I shouldn't go for adoption instead. I think what scares me the most is the moment I want to talk about having kids with my SO and I'll have to bring up that I'll probably pass this along to our child(s). Anyone here is/was in the same place?

Upvote for Edit2.