Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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My father was blinded by an injury (self.Blind)
submitted by tmccaughan
My 75 year old father recently received a traumatic posterior rupture to his only working eye, and is for now completely blinded until the posterior wound heals and the retinaologist can attempt to save his vision. This has been a huge shock to me, and I've been far more emotional than any other time I can remember as an adult. My father sometimes struggles with loneliness and depression ever since he and my mom separated, but is an avid reader and enjoys it in his retirement more than about anything. I flew out to be with him as he heals in the hospital, but I finding it hard to support him. He sounds normal during regular conversation, always being friendly and catty with the nurses and doctors, but when ever the conversation drifts towards his potentially future, his current blindness, or how he might need to move towards a more assisted living situation he shuts down almost immediately and tries to change the subject, which I completely understand and have since strayed from mentioning. I once asked him if he maybe would want to live with me after hes released and healthier, and his blood pressure rose, setting off the monitors alarm, the sound of which he finds incredibly irritating and forces us to call for the nurse or just leave so he can nap as he often asks of us. The sound has somewhat become a representation of the vulnerable state he's in.
It's a lot of text, and maybe I'm just venting, but I just not sure how I can help him best. I offered to buy him some headphones to listen to audiobooks or his favorite music, but he just says no thanks, I'll be fine, but it hurts so much to see him like this and I just want to help. I tried running him through the tutorial for TalkBack since he wanted to make and recieve calls without help present, but the tutorial mentioned that TalkBack is intended for blind or visually impaired individuals and he immediately asked me to stop.
He's obviously having a hard time coping and I was just hoping for answers or at least just words of advice in how to deal with this process, especially if the doctors are unable to repair the damage to his vision
It's a lot of text, and maybe I'm just venting, but I just not sure how I can help him best. I offered to buy him some headphones to listen to audiobooks or his favorite music, but he just says no thanks, I'll be fine, but it hurts so much to see him like this and I just want to help. I tried running him through the tutorial for TalkBack since he wanted to make and recieve calls without help present, but the tutorial mentioned that TalkBack is intended for blind or visually impaired individuals and he immediately asked me to stop.
He's obviously having a hard time coping and I was just hoping for answers or at least just words of advice in how to deal with this process, especially if the doctors are unable to repair the damage to his vision
retrolental_morose 11 points 4y ago
It sounds like you're being as supportive as possible in an extremely difficult situation.
I've worked with older folks losing their sight and now teach teens to use technology. In all cases, things only really progress when the person is willing. So until your dad can come to some form of acceptance, it's possible this shutting down of the conversation may be all you get. And of course if his condition is temporary, he may be even less willing to entertain the possibility of any sort of rehabilitation or adaptations to his way of doing things.
One thing that may be worth a try is a smart speaker (Amazon Echo, Google Home etc). They have no screens, and are used in the same way by the blind and sighted alike, which may be easier to swallow than accepting an aid for "the blind".
I am sorry there's not a rabbit I can pull out of the hat - but please rest assured that your situation is by no means unique.
I've worked with older folks losing their sight and now teach teens to use technology. In all cases, things only really progress when the person is willing. So until your dad can come to some form of acceptance, it's possible this shutting down of the conversation may be all you get. And of course if his condition is temporary, he may be even less willing to entertain the possibility of any sort of rehabilitation or adaptations to his way of doing things.
One thing that may be worth a try is a smart speaker (Amazon Echo, Google Home etc). They have no screens, and are used in the same way by the blind and sighted alike, which may be easier to swallow than accepting an aid for "the blind".
I am sorry there's not a rabbit I can pull out of the hat - but please rest assured that your situation is by no means unique.
AllHarlowsEve 5 points 4y ago
Losing senses can absolutely make you go through the stages of grief. This is a completely normal thing, and many people are scared to death of the idea of becoming blind because they don't know anything about the state of the independence market. Now is the best time that it's ever been to be blind, and it's only getting better.
I'd talk with his doctors and see if they can set him up with some sort of therapy or just someone to talk to.
I'd talk with his doctors and see if they can set him up with some sort of therapy or just someone to talk to.
hobbylobbyist1 5 points 4y ago
Totally agree- there are unique mental health challenges to the sudden trauma of losing sight at any age. He's grieving and scared right now so don't feel like you need to rush it. You might want to seek out a therapist who has worked with older people who are losing their vision/blind and vet them in advance before they meet your dad (you might be able to weed out people your dad would hate). You might even get in a session asking how you can best support your dad and then tell your dad you've already met with the therapist and liked him/her.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Since you said you flew out, I'm sure this has completely disrupted your life in more ways than one. Sending my best that you all adjust quickly and the retinologist can work a miracle.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Since you said you flew out, I'm sure this has completely disrupted your life in more ways than one. Sending my best that you all adjust quickly and the retinologist can work a miracle.
delha4 3 points 4y ago
Denial is the first stage. Just support him through that.
TheBlindBookLover 1 points 4y ago
Hi. I would recommend asking a social worker for any advice and information on tools and resources that can best help him in addition to what you find in your own research. There is definitely a grieving process with sight loss. The best thing that you can do for him is to be present and available. I hope that this helps. You will both be in my prayers.
zkbthealien 1 points 4y ago
I would recommend going to a library and getting a few books on tape. There are also podcasts that are like a dramatic play with sound effects and different voices. Keep him active in one of his hobbies. I know it is hard to watch. My wife has progressive eye loss and every year it gets worse. It is not the end of the world but it sure will feel like it
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