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Blind and Visually Impaired Community

Full History - 2019 - 02 - 15 - ID#ar1ncq
16
Movie vote doesn’t get taken seriously? (self.Blind)
submitted by [deleted]
[deleted]
afraidofdust 24 points 4y ago
Wow! Your friends are being seriously ableist.

First of all, being VI, I think there are *some* visual aspects of the movie that you're getting. Second, even if you were *completely blind*, there are still other things in movies like music, plot, dialogue, and characters that you can enjoy. Finally, even if none of that was true, friends don't ignore their friends, and by doing that to you they're being colossal bags of dicks.

I think one way to get this across may be something like, "Even though I can't see the movie the way you do, I still want to enjoy what we're watching because I want to enjoy our time together. It's hard to enjoy our time together when I am feeling ignored. I'd rather be included in the decision making process than have it decided for me. When I hear people making decisions for me or telling me I don't care about things, it makes me feel less valued than everyone else." In your own words, ofc.

I don't know the nature of your friendships but I hope something like can get through to them.
Wafflez13 3 points 4y ago
I tried telling them how that was unfair and i should get to have a say in it like all of them.But they are the type of friends that are always joking around and usually thats fine until you want them to take something serious.But thankyou i will try to say something like that next time maybe they will listen
afraidofdust 3 points 4y ago
I really hope you can get through to them because they're being real jerks.
WhatWouldVaderDo 6 points 4y ago
OP, this is not a healthy relationship with your friends. I understand that they are your group, and you enjoy hanging out with them, but you are a person too, and have just as much of an opinion as any of the sighted members of the group, regardless of the topic. I know it’s not easy, or fun, but you need to have a serious conversation with them, either individually or as a collective. Being visually impaired does not mean that your thoughts are worth half as much as someone else’s, at any point of time.

Also, be aware that spaces after your punctuation are not coming out properly. Just an FYI.
Wafflez13 2 points 4y ago
Thankyou im going to have a conversation with them next time i see them and really hold them to it.
noeinan 6 points 4y ago
They sound like assholes, but if you want to try to make it work I recommend talking to them about it individually. People get group think going on, especially if they're the type that "jokes" a lot.

If you talk to them individually, they're less likely to get into the group think and they are more likely to understand you're being serious and not just doing a skit.
Wafflez13 1 points 4y ago
Well when its just the two of us its completely fine.Completely fine if its also just the two of us with other people that are not in this particular friend group.But when we are all together they forget everything.
[deleted] [OP] 6 points 4y ago
[deleted]
Laser_Lens_4 4 points 4y ago
Tell them you're not going until they take your vote seriously.
Wafflez13 1 points 4y ago
I don't think they would care that much if i didn't come
princesspooball 5 points 4y ago
They aren't good friends then
Wafflez13 1 points 4y ago
I don't know they are lots of fun and well i think nice for the most part when i do show up.
[deleted] [OP] 4 points 4y ago
I hope you have a different friend group you can hang out with. These people sound terrible! I’m sorry.
Wafflez13 1 points 4y ago
I do have another friend group but they are way to serious.They can never really just hang out and do fun stuff.So its like either the crazy friends who are lots of fun but cant take anything serious or the boring friends who are just way to serious.
princesspooball 3 points 4y ago
You should get a new friend group because these people are being absolute dicks
Wafflez13 2 points 4y ago
Yea probably its just it took me a long time to even make friends (didnt have a single friend until 6th grade).So im afraid of going friendless again.So making new friends for me takes forever.Im trying to make new friends but its just so difficult it seems .Also i have known these friends for a long time and they have never been able to be serious ever for a single second.But they are so much fun i remember getting kicked out of Walmart in 7th grade with them for having a shopping cart race together in the store.But i also remember in seventh grade when i came to them crying for help about something that happened at school and they just laughed and blew it off like nothing.I think it might be time to live them but its scary but maybe i need a new friend group.
ENTJ351 2 points 4y ago
Yeah, please make some new friends. I am going to say what everyone else has said here, they are being a bunch of jerks and not actually good friends. You deserve better. I saw that you have trouble making friends but you don’t deserve to hang around people who do not respect you. I had to learn this the hard way. I didn’t listen to myself.

I could totally relate I didn’t really have real life friends until a few years ago. I don’t know how old you are, but I remember that no one wanted to hang out with me partly because I was the blind kid. And guess what? No one hangs out with blind weirdos. That’s just how it works in high school. So try to find someone nice to hang out with besides these people. Learn that you can get better. It’s not healthy to get trapped by thinking this is the best you can get so this is what you deserve.
Marconius 2 points 4y ago
Sounds like it's time to get new friends, honestly.
Corm 2 points 4y ago
That sucks, they should be more thoughtful
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