Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Frustrated by people who refuse to understand (self.Blind)
submitted by blind_cowboy
Okay so i realize that this something I have to put up with, I can’t change, I know what I was getting myself into, my wife understands my feelings but is between a rock and a hard place, but I need a place to vent.
My in-laws are alcoholics who don’t understand that I am a blind person not a person incapable of doing anything besides sitting in a corner holding down a chair no matter how many times i explain or demonstrate otherwise. This is especially true with my wife’s step dad who wakes up drunk.
Normally I see them for a few hours every couple of months so it’s eazy enough to brush off. This week however my wife is having surgery and they are staying with us. Not only is it making me feel incapable and uncomfortable in my own house but they have decided, while drunk, that they need to clean, organize, and move shit around. You all know what hell this can be.
I have tried explaining with 0 success and i’m not going to lose my temper because as i said my wife just had surgery today today, it’s the last thing she needs, and she is way to important to me for me to put her through that. So in the end thank you for letting me vent.
My in-laws are alcoholics who don’t understand that I am a blind person not a person incapable of doing anything besides sitting in a corner holding down a chair no matter how many times i explain or demonstrate otherwise. This is especially true with my wife’s step dad who wakes up drunk.
Normally I see them for a few hours every couple of months so it’s eazy enough to brush off. This week however my wife is having surgery and they are staying with us. Not only is it making me feel incapable and uncomfortable in my own house but they have decided, while drunk, that they need to clean, organize, and move shit around. You all know what hell this can be.
I have tried explaining with 0 success and i’m not going to lose my temper because as i said my wife just had surgery today today, it’s the last thing she needs, and she is way to important to me for me to put her through that. So in the end thank you for letting me vent.
jouleheretolearn 14 points 4y ago
I'm sorry they are doing this, frankly, even as a sighted person this would piss me off. Vent away, OP.
Is there anyone else who can help after her surgery, so they can just leave, because Idk how 2 alcoholics who rearrange her home, upset her SO, and make a general mess of her life is great for your wife's post surgical recovery.
I had surgery last fall, and if my mom had done this, I dont know if I'd be talking to her now months later.
Is there anyone else who can help after her surgery, so they can just leave, because Idk how 2 alcoholics who rearrange her home, upset her SO, and make a general mess of her life is great for your wife's post surgical recovery.
I had surgery last fall, and if my mom had done this, I dont know if I'd be talking to her now months later.
blind_cowboy [OP] 10 points 4y ago
They are leaving and I’m taking care of her once she gets home. If all goes well it will be tomorrow.
There relationship has been rocky in the past so while she can’t overlook things she accepts them for the importants of family.
There relationship has been rocky in the past so while she can’t overlook things she accepts them for the importants of family.
jouleheretolearn 6 points 4y ago
I hope it goes as planned.
vwlsmssng 6 points 4y ago
> organize, and move shit around.
Kryptonite for the visually impaired!
Kryptonite for the visually impaired!
joeflux 5 points 4y ago
That sounds super frustrating.
I've noticed that some people treat children badly in a similar way.
I've noticed that some people treat children badly in a similar way.
EconomyWish 3 points 4y ago
Try giving them something to do. Make a list of things that need to be done (or don't need to be done) and ask them to do it, sounding like you could use their help. It'll keep them out of your way and prevent them from messing up things in the house/your life that really matter.
They are either trying to be helpful (but obviously not) or trying to prevent themselves from going insane from boredom (or worry!). So make work for them. If you feel bad about asking them to do it, tell your wife to ask instead.
Another option is to focus on getting just one of them on your side. One of them, once on your side, will know how to manage the other, even while drunk.
I hope your wife's surgery goes well.
They are either trying to be helpful (but obviously not) or trying to prevent themselves from going insane from boredom (or worry!). So make work for them. If you feel bad about asking them to do it, tell your wife to ask instead.
Another option is to focus on getting just one of them on your side. One of them, once on your side, will know how to manage the other, even while drunk.
I hope your wife's surgery goes well.
AllHarlowsEve 3 points 4y ago
I'm lucky in that my SO's mother works with a totally blind woman so she's already had the come to jesus talk with my future MIL, but I still get this 100 percent.
If you think it'd be helpful, /r/justnomil /r/justnofil and /r/justnofamily are there and full of people that will get this from an in-laws POV rather than from a blindness perspective.
If you think it'd be helpful, /r/justnomil /r/justnofil and /r/justnofamily are there and full of people that will get this from an in-laws POV rather than from a blindness perspective.
oncenightvaler 2 points 4y ago
I recommend you look up Cathedral by Raymond Carver a short story, about a blind man who comes to see a sighted man and his wife for a night.
I really hope your wife's surgery goes as planned.
I have had to deal with a few people who look like they walk on eggshells around me as a totally blind guy, particularly my stepmother who I sometimes meet. She has her own health problems, but I also sometimes think she does not know how to deal with having a blind relative.
I really hope your wife's surgery goes as planned.
I have had to deal with a few people who look like they walk on eggshells around me as a totally blind guy, particularly my stepmother who I sometimes meet. She has her own health problems, but I also sometimes think she does not know how to deal with having a blind relative.
matt_may 2 points 4y ago
Sucks. Sorry you have to put up with this.
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