I'm a 33 year old female, but due to only being 4'11 in height, look like a teenage/kid, and yeah when out on public transport, people grab me, thinking they're helping me all the time. I've also learnt if I deny the help, can get accused of faking it/not needing my white cane etc.

Also yes, anytime have mentioned being vision impaired in a AskReddit post, get all the dickhead errrr you can't be blind you're using a computer!!! comments.

I use a symbol cane most of the time now because i just got tired of bus drivers questioning if I'm really visually impaired. I can only see directly in front of me since I've lost most of my peripheral vision to glaucoma.

Anyways, yeah. I've had people manhandling me on the tube before. The worst one was a man who literally yanked me by my handbag, I was so scared because I thought he was going to try and steal it from me, and since I couldn't see where he was, it was fight or flight for me.

I just find it so strange that sighted people think it's okay to grab VI/Blind people and think we won't completely freak out. Half the time it just scares me to death because I don't like people touching me at all.

Hi. If you use Twitter, check out the hashtag #justaskdontgrab, where a handful of people talk about their experiences relating to what you’re describing.

TLDR: Thanks for your post, I hate how horrible people can be, and I have much respect for how you handled the situation- and much appreciation for everyone who endures these daily abuses from our ignorant society.

I really appreciate your post, I've worked for years training people who are working with individuals with disabilities, and I have found that most people are simply and completely ignorant about this. All they have ever learned about interacting with people who are disabled is to not stare at them.

It sometimes bothers me that people react to disability like it is some other-worldly experience, forgetting there is a person in front of them instead of just an unknown "condition". So I really appreciate it when somebody can take the time to respond to a teachable moment and raise awareness- even when being manhandled and physically harmed in the process.

I see how it can be an interesting social dynamic for all involved. Sometimes reaching out to help someone might be more social interaction with a stranger than the helpful person is used to. Interacting with a stranger can even be an anxiety inducing moment for a good-hearted but extremely shy or introverted individual. Sometimes the act of helping another person is simply an automatic reflex that bypasses an individual's conscious thought processes, so offering a helpful pointer to these people can break them out of their "autopilot" mentality and into a more thoughtful way of behaving.

Of course, I recognize you don't want to seem ungrateful or hostile, and when you've just been manhandled or hurt I see how easily one might lose their patience and temper. Unfortunately I think these moments are where the situation can so easily break down into one where the helpful person feels unappreciated and the injured blind individual just seems ungrateful and rude. So thank you for maintaining your cool as well as you did. I'm not sure I could have done so.

Sometimes, in my better moments when I am able to be a bit more thoughtful, I've found that beginning with a "Thank you" can soften the blow of corrective information that follows. In those moments what I would like to say is "Thank you for helping me, but it is better if you announce your intention before you grab me, and if I accept your help, the best place for you to guide me is by holding my elbow right here...". I don't always hit the mark, but I'm still trying... <grin>

I know it can be exhausting to constantly be so polite and understanding, but your efforts are inspiring to me. I believe we make the world better for everyone by helping people learn basic etiquette and how to be better at being helpful. So once again, thank you!

/u/sunnylego LOL


When they say "you can't be blind you're using a computer!!!"


Answer: OMG! You must tell all the companies who make computer equipment for the blind. They don't know that! Hurry!

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;-)

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It's amazing how sheltered people are in a global world that they think you're either 100% blind or your vision is 100% correctable.

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Yet people get the hard of hearing concept just fine.


But this is just a learning issue. They learned as a little kid that people who can't see are blind. That definition was given by a parent or teacher, so it is from an authority.

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Because they have zero life experiences that challenge this (and weren't taught to be curious, which is a big concern in mainstream education), they think it's 100% true.

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That means we must be lying!

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And I have to say, as a woman, anyone grabs me, I gonna scream. I can't afford not to scream, as those are precious seconds my life could be lost.


Also, I'm a biter. ;-)

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But again, education would probably be better than screaming and biting. LOL

I have had at least 3 people in a day go for my cane thinking it's some kind of support pole bolted to the bus floor. Got annoying real fast. From teenagers to middle aged women, I just shake my cane vigourously when I feel them latch on.

I usually escape their grip and then say something like “thanks, but I know what to do” or “you don’t need to grab me sir/ma’am”. There’s something to be said about not being rude, but you need to send a clear physical and verbal message that the unsolicited touching is unacceptable. As a preventative measure, be mindful of your body language when entering the bus. People are probably less likely to do this if you’re visibly confident.

It might be worthwhile to take a basic self-defense class where you can learn how to escape when someone grabs your hand or wrist. The techniques are pretty easy to learn and have served me well in dealing with these annoyances.

I mean like, see how many sighted people you can grab before you get clocked, probably not many, so I don't get why they think they can do it to us.

What is a good approach if I see someone who is blind that may need help?

Jesus Christ. If somebody manhandled me like that I'd literally punch them in the face.

So disrespectful and inappropriate.

You wouldn't do that to someone sighted; we're not fucking animals.

I'm a big guy, thick. People try to grab and move me but if I don't want to move I don't. I'd love to hear from someone who does this because I just don't get the mindset.

The spiteful side of me would say to make a scene when it happens. Make people realize how unreasonable they're being by embarrassing them. Act like anyone else would when getting grabbed by a stranger in public: shout, pull away, defend yourself. Being polite and apologetic makes people think that their good intentions justified their actions, and does not teach them how impolite and invasive they're being.

A pessimistic thought is if, god forbid, someone lays their hands on you maliciously, you'll be desensitized to it and won't react quickly enough.

Why do you need a priority seat?