Bring your karma
Join the waitlist today
HUMBLECAT.ORG

Blind and Visually Impaired Community

Full History - 2019 - 05 - 13 - ID#bobdlp
30
How To Be Blind (a tutorial) (self.Blind)
submitted by AquilaArgenti
Disclaimer: I found this and thought it interesting... Credit goes to Maria Chang.

​

How To Be Blind (a tutorial)

​

There are many more steps to being blind than one might realize. From the proper way to walk, to how smart not to be, this tutorial will cover 10 key components to being a real blind individual.

​

1. Hygiene

Let us begin with personal care. The first thing you should know, if you want to be blind, is that you cannot take a shower by yourself. I know it sounds ridiculous, but all blind people need someone to help them wash themselves. When someone asks you, “How do you take a shower?”, never tell them, “The same way you do”, or, “It’s not really any different then how most people usually go about it”, because then they might tell you that you are lying, or that they don’t believe you, or even, that you aren’t really blind.

​

2. Appearance

Blind people need to look a specific way. Matching clothes are a big no-no. That is, of course, unless someone lays out your outfits for you. Usually people will ask if that is the case. The answer is always yes. It does not matter if you know what color your clothes are, it does not matter if you put labels or different beads on the inner tags, it doesn’t even matter if you are wearing a dress, if anyone asks, someone helped you clothe yourself. The same principle applies to hair. If, by an infinitesimal chance you do your own hair, keep that to yourself. After all, you cannot exactly look into a mirror. If you are about to point out that sighted people can do their hair without one, save it. Being blind means that you cannot share similarities with sighted people.

​

3. Food

It is no secret that in order to be blind, you must struggle to feed yourself. From opening wrappers to actually eating, some people will expect you to need help before you even ask. They will also expect that you, as a blind individual, will make a mess. Do not disappoint them on either account. Of course, sighted individuals likewise have the ability to make messes when they eat, but that is hardly relevant. Furthermore, though you might enjoy cooking or baking, if you want to be a real blindy, then that ambition has got to go. Blind people cannot be trusted in the kitchen. They will cut themselves, or burn themselves, or break something. They might even accidentally poison the food. If you decide to put on the mask of a blindy, should you enter the kitchen, you best do one of those things. Otherwise, the validity of your visually impaired claim may be brought to question.

​

4. Travel

Travel needs to be difficult for you. You must get lost easily and trip on every crack in the sidewalk; if you miss one and someone notices, it might raise questions. If anyone asks you whether or not you are sure of your intended destination, or your current location, or perhaps they ask you if you realize that you are traveling alone, again, the answer is always no. When people grab you and pull you in the direction which they assume you wish to travel, let them. When people command you to take the elevator, because the blind are not able to climb stairs, do not protest. When you are crossing a street with a sighted individual, let them take your hand. Or even better, initiate it. This will keep any passing pedestrians from scolding that sighted person for not watching out for you. And one last thing concerning travel: if you decide that you would like to get a GPS, a guide dog is your best option.

​

5. School

This component is simple and to the point. Don't be too smart. Do not forget that you are trying to be blind. It will look suspicious should your grades be anything above a B, as a very cultured friend once declared, "B stands for blind". Strange grading scale, isn't it? Typing is one skill you are allowed. However, you are not permitted to do it well. Keep in mind that you cannot see the keyboard, and memorizing it is a simply preposterous thing for a blind person to be capable of. Also, complex mental math is off limits. You can be the smartest math student in your year, it doesn't matter. If you excel too much, they will think that you are cheating. Yes, even if your calculator is all the way across the room, you'll still be accused.

​

6. Independence

There is not much to this. You are not allowed independence. It's logical really; a person without sight misses many cues and therefore suffers a deficiency compared to those with sight. As a result, extreme dependency on the sighted is sensible and in most cases, already assumed to be necessary. So what does this mean for a wannabe blindy? Never refuse help. In fact, accept it before they even ask. That way, they will not feel any guilt for potentially assuming what you need or want. When someone demands to go with you, "to make sure you don't walk too quickly for a blind person", smile and agree politely. When people put food on your plate without asking you, eat it. Should you refuse, no matter how politely, you might come off as ungrateful. When they tell you what you want, where you want to go, how you want to handle specific situations, SMILE. Acquiesce. They know better; as a blind person, you are missing a stimulus in your brain which people with sight possess. It takes more muscles to smile than it does to frown. Consider this your exercise. Everyone knows that once you don your blindy costume, there will be no more exercise in your future.

​

7. Interaction With Others

Never face people when they talk to you. In fact, keep your back to them. They might be expecting this, and so they will be more comfortable. Assuming that you are traveling with a companion (to do otherwise might make sighted people uncomfortable), do not speak if you are not addressed directly. They may ask your companion if you can see, or if you are really blind, or if you know that they are even there. Show no indication that you are aware. Do not speak up, do not show any signs of having heard, do not ask them why they are talking as if you weren’t present. Remember that “If you cannot see them, they cannot see you.” (Aravind Adiga) Never joke about your blindness, you put them in an awkward position when you do that. When people ask, "don't you wish you could see?", the answer is always, you guessed it, yes. And when they ask, "is it hard being blind?", same answer. Bottom line, do not become too independent. That is not a blindy's place in a sighted society. Some people love games. Indulge them. When they ask you to guess "who am I?", play along. If you already know, pretend like you don't. When they ask, "how many fingers am I holding up?", look for the good in them and smile. If you cannot see it, don’t be surprised. Blind, remember? Do not allow that smile to turn into a cracked-plaster grimace. Remember, your blindness bars you from "seeing", "looking", or making your own decisions, for you would certainly turn your eyes down the wrong path every time.

​

8. Feelings

Everyone is entitled to their feelings. When you step into the world of the blind, you will be no exception. The one stipulation, never express how you really feel. If you feel smothered, unheard, unseen, just remember that people are bending over backward to help you. Even though you may not have asked for it. It might surprise you how many sighted people get offended when a blind person refuses help, no matter how politely. And as stated earlier, if you express how you really feel, you might cause guilt in a sighted person. Then, you would be guilty of causing that guilt. That is no way to treat someone who means well, even if they make assumptions concerning your needs, wants, and desires.

​

9. Praise

When someone compliments you, you know you're doing something right. So when someone praises you for finding the door, smile. When someone remarks upon "how well you walk for a blind person", laugh and thank them. As a blind person, people will much more freely praise you. Push any frustration aside and understand that being blind makes you that much more successful in their eyes.

​

10. Acceptance

Last but not least. To close out this tutorial, and re-iterate everything, acceptance is key. The sooner you accept these rules, the better your blindy costume will be. If you fake it well enough, no one will ever have to see the regular, normal, every-day person behind that mask.
KingWithoutClothes 11 points 4y ago
What I personally don't like about this satire is that it emphasizes the fact that many people in this forum try extremely hard to pretend as though being blind is a piece of cake and really not much different from being sighted. In my opinion, this is a lie that lots of blind individuals tell themselves in order to feel better about their own fate or maybe in order to gain acceptance. "Hey look, I'm exactly the same as you, please like me!" and "I'm tough, I can take this, my life is not more difficult than that of a sighted person!"

In my opinion, this is a misguided positivity that does injustice to the enormous efforts most of us truly make. To be clear, I'm not suggesting that people would wallow in self-pity. However, I believe the other extreme is just as unhealthy. Personally, I have the self-security to admit that no, my life is not the same as that of a sighted person. I'd be lying if I said that. Yes, certain aspects of body hygiene can be tricky. Yes, traveling on my own has indeed become very challenging since I became blind. Yes, I have gone through extensive O&M training and I still sometimes walk into stuff or have my cane accidentally impale me which can be very painful. Yes, cooking and eating has become more difficult. It doesn't mean that I can't do those things as a blind person but I certainly can't do them as well as I used to. My chopsticks skills used to be great for example, now I often struggle to pick things up. Yes, school has become much harder with practically no sight. I've now been studying at my university for a grand total of 10 years and I still don't have my Master's. Much of this has to do with my blindness. I was always a very good student and I'm convinced that if I were sighted, I could have finished my studies far, far quicker. Yes, I do sometimes feel very dependent on people and yes, in some ways I **am**.

To acknowledge these things is not to be whiny. It simply means that I have the ability to be realistic. In some ways, being blind really fucking sucks and I believe we may and should admit that. I don't think this forced positivity of "my life is perfect, blindness gives me absolutely zero problems, I've got everything figured out" is helpful. In fact, I find it pretty obnoxious.
modulus 5 points 4y ago
That's a fair point. A lot of people seem to want to pretend that disability in general and blindness in particular are neutral conditions of life. I personally find this completely implausible, even though I've been blind for my whole life and in a sense it's all I know.

At the same time, there's a serious problem with people having incredibly low expectations and thinking blind people are inspirational because they manage to breathe. There are many accommodations that are possible to make blind life, I won't say easy, but easier. There are many ways to, I want say equal, but approach sighted skills. And there's a general assumption of incompetence. that because you cannot do X, it means you cannot do anything at all. That's really disturbing and harmful.

I'll finish this off with an anecdote. A friend of mine, now a blind woman, was in school when the topic came to sexual education. The teacher very thoughtfully excused her and told her to go to the library, because the class would be talking about sex, and that was obviously something she'd not ever be doing. Your guesses as to how that impacts a teenage girl and her social standing. (Hint: it was not good.)
BlindOwl12 4 points 4y ago
I just skimmed this and read the last bit, ouch! There has to be something wrong with that teacher
modulus 4 points 4y ago
Yep, there is; but it's something wrong with a lot of people. They see disabled people as impossible to have sex. It's part of the infantilisation of disabled people. For some it may even seem wrong in the same way as a child having sex would be wrong.
AquilaArgenti [OP] 5 points 4y ago
I agree that this satire puts things into generalized boxes, and does not leave any room for representation of diverse experience. I know someone who knows the author. From my understanding, they have always been blind, and do not know the struggle of readjustment. When I first read this, I did not take it as an attempt at positivity, and perhaps I misunderstood your comment. For me, there were quite a few places where I felt a bitterness that agreed with what Maria was saying. It feels like a forced complacence though, in a way. I don't know about you, but I have never felt like I could complain and admit that things are not okay, things are not easy, that I struggle. So many blind people I know seem to have it all figured out, or at least, they handle it. They are so positive, and optimistic, and I admire that. But the challenges don't go away by wearing the mantle of verisimilitude... We each have unique stories, but I don't think anyone would ever dare say that it is easy.
KingWithoutClothes 1 points 4y ago
I couldn't agree more. You've put it perfectly. This is exactly where my bitterness comes from as well. Obviously I'm not angry at the author or anything like that. I acknowledge that our experiences are all different and unique. I wasn't offended by the satire. I just... felt bitter for the reasons you've stated. I'm still sort of in this adjustment phase and I frequently feel like I'm not allowed to ever complain or cry. For example I have practically no friends, so the three people I've tried to go to for emotional support in this incredibly difficult stage of my life are my wife and my parents. My parents, though they love me very much, find it really tough to accept my going blind. They've never openly said it but I can feel it. They don't like talking about it and always approach my complaints in a very functional way. If I say that I'm depressed or frustrated because I can't do certain things anymore, they usually pivot to: "you should call your local office for the blind and ask them about training and accessibility tools for this." And then my mom would nag me for the next 2-3 weeks with daily text messages whether I have already contacted those people and when I'll be doing it. They don't seem to understand that sometimes people just want to vent. Or cry. Or maybe they do understand it but don't want to hear it because it's painful to make yourself emotionally conscious of the fact that your son is going blind and there's nothing you can do.

My wife, meanwhile, tells me these things even more openly. If I complain a bit too much, she usually says: "I'm very sorry but why don't you discuss these things with your therapist". She has told me quite explicitly that she doesn't want to hear too much about my struggles because it pulls her down too, emotionally. She says "that's what you've got a therapist for." And somehow I totally get her. It's exhausting to have a partner who is sad often; especially considering that I used to be a very cheerful person in the past.

But at the same time, these reactions also put me under lots of pressure. They make me feel as though my therapist is the only person I'm allowed to vent to and other than that I'm supposed to just... bottle it all up. I'm a bit sick of having to walk around with a fake smile and pretend that I'm great when in reality I'm not. I know that people with depression often feel this way but in my case it is directly related to my going blind. I've never suffered from depression before and there's no family history of depression. So it would be strange to claim that my current problems are not related to my eyes.

Anyway, I didn't want to make this so long. Sorry for that. In essence, this is why I've come here. I appreciate the fact that people in this forum can be open about their feelings and they get taken seriously on an emotional level, not just a practical one. Because I think that's super important for people like myself who are trying to eventually get to a place of acceptance.
AquilaArgenti [OP] 2 points 4y ago
I, also, do not have many friends. Or more accurately, I do not have many friends outside of the blind community. And of course, even within the community, there is this, fear, of saying too much. I recognize that I am one of the luckier ones, in the sense that all I have known is blindness. I never lost something. For me, one of the most difficult aspects of it all is the mystery of my diagnosis. I am an adopted child, and the director of the orphanage created a fake record for me less than a year before the adoption. It is strange, I know many blind children who were adopted from China at an older age. For me, it comes with a different sort of... pressure to withhold my complaints. My mother told me that the director of the orphanage questioned her for a long time, asking why she really wanted a blind child. They knew exactly what they were getting into. I know, I was wanted. A strange thing for which to harbor any other emotions save gratitude and happiness. They knew that adjustments would have to be made; they were aware of the logistic challenges. But as I grapple with watching my sighted sister spread her wings and fly, while I remain grounded by limitations that I cannot change, and a splintering mental health, I always wonder, did they really know what they were getting into? I wonder how many blind people are unhappy, but refuse to recognize or attribute it to being blind for some reason or another. We are given canes and taught to cross streets. We are taught daily living skills while feeling inferior for having to be specifically instructed. We watch people drive, run independently, make eye contact, and there is a part, of me at any rate, that wants to make a venn diagram and show my parents, people in general, that they don't get it. People think it simple jealousy, petty lack of willingness to accept reality. You know those times where you set something down and can't find it? You know it's right there. Or when something, like a sheaf of papers, falls, and you wonder if you have gotten all of them, but if you haven't you should keep feeling, and if you have you are wasting your time...
And all of this to circle back to complaining. Biting my tongue is a skill I have learned, at least when it comes to my blindness and how I feel, when talking to sighted people. I know that I use the term sighted people very loosely. I am sorry if I offend anyone; I understand that there are many people who try, very hard, to understand. Please forgive me.
My original point was simply to say, please, feel free to PM me, whether it is to complain, to revisit a past that people are telling you to move on from... I am always here to listen, perhaps because I know what it is to repress everything, and when it comes out, that feeling of being a burden.
I am sorry if this was a disjointed compilation of too many words and too little sense.
KingWithoutClothes 1 points 4y ago
Quite the opposite. I thought this was beautifully written and I absolutely loved reading it :-). I have nothing more to add to this. Thank you for your great reply!
bennetfoxy 7 points 4y ago
I love how each subtopic starts with the same number! After reading this, I'm going to get a cane!
HDMILex 3 points 4y ago
That's not intended; it's because of how Reddit formats pasted things.
bennetfoxy 1 points 4y ago
Aww dang!
FeelingCeiling 2 points 4y ago
I thought that was just a bug in my Reddit client lol
the9thpawn_ 6 points 4y ago
Instructions unclear. Left with horrendous case of imposter syndrome around being blind.
xXLosingItXx 3 points 4y ago
Is this satire???
HDMILex 2 points 4y ago
Yup.
AquilaArgenti [OP] 2 points 4y ago
I assume so?
Coloratura1987 2 points 4y ago
lol
TotesMessenger 1 points 4y ago
I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

- [/r/u_cookieinaloop] $1

 *^(If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads.) ^\($1 ^/ ^$1)*
This nonprofit website is run by volunteers.
Please contribute if you can. Thank you!
Our mission is to provide everyone with access to large-
scale community websites for the good of humanity.
Without ads, without tracking, without greed.
©2023 HumbleCat Inc   •   HumbleCat is a 501(c)3 nonprofit based in Michigan, USA.