Disclaimer: I found this and thought it interesting... Credit goes to Maria Chang.
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How To Be Blind (a tutorial)
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There are many more steps to being blind than one might realize. From the proper way to walk, to how smart not to be, this tutorial will cover 10 key components to being a real blind individual.
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1. Hygiene
Let us begin with personal care. The first thing you should know, if you want to be blind, is that you cannot take a shower by yourself. I know it sounds ridiculous, but all blind people need someone to help them wash themselves. When someone asks you, “How do you take a shower?”, never tell them, “The same way you do”, or, “It’s not really any different then how most people usually go about it”, because then they might tell you that you are lying, or that they don’t believe you, or even, that you aren’t really blind.
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2. Appearance
Blind people need to look a specific way. Matching clothes are a big no-no. That is, of course, unless someone lays out your outfits for you. Usually people will ask if that is the case. The answer is always yes. It does not matter if you know what color your clothes are, it does not matter if you put labels or different beads on the inner tags, it doesn’t even matter if you are wearing a dress, if anyone asks, someone helped you clothe yourself. The same principle applies to hair. If, by an infinitesimal chance you do your own hair, keep that to yourself. After all, you cannot exactly look into a mirror. If you are about to point out that sighted people can do their hair without one, save it. Being blind means that you cannot share similarities with sighted people.
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3. Food
It is no secret that in order to be blind, you must struggle to feed yourself. From opening wrappers to actually eating, some people will expect you to need help before you even ask. They will also expect that you, as a blind individual, will make a mess. Do not disappoint them on either account. Of course, sighted individuals likewise have the ability to make messes when they eat, but that is hardly relevant. Furthermore, though you might enjoy cooking or baking, if you want to be a real blindy, then that ambition has got to go. Blind people cannot be trusted in the kitchen. They will cut themselves, or burn themselves, or break something. They might even accidentally poison the food. If you decide to put on the mask of a blindy, should you enter the kitchen, you best do one of those things. Otherwise, the validity of your visually impaired claim may be brought to question.
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4. Travel
Travel needs to be difficult for you. You must get lost easily and trip on every crack in the sidewalk; if you miss one and someone notices, it might raise questions. If anyone asks you whether or not you are sure of your intended destination, or your current location, or perhaps they ask you if you realize that you are traveling alone, again, the answer is always no. When people grab you and pull you in the direction which they assume you wish to travel, let them. When people command you to take the elevator, because the blind are not able to climb stairs, do not protest. When you are crossing a street with a sighted individual, let them take your hand. Or even better, initiate it. This will keep any passing pedestrians from scolding that sighted person for not watching out for you. And one last thing concerning travel: if you decide that you would like to get a GPS, a guide dog is your best option.
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5. School
This component is simple and to the point. Don't be too smart. Do not forget that you are trying to be blind. It will look suspicious should your grades be anything above a B, as a very cultured friend once declared, "B stands for blind". Strange grading scale, isn't it? Typing is one skill you are allowed. However, you are not permitted to do it well. Keep in mind that you cannot see the keyboard, and memorizing it is a simply preposterous thing for a blind person to be capable of. Also, complex mental math is off limits. You can be the smartest math student in your year, it doesn't matter. If you excel too much, they will think that you are cheating. Yes, even if your calculator is all the way across the room, you'll still be accused.
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6. Independence
There is not much to this. You are not allowed independence. It's logical really; a person without sight misses many cues and therefore suffers a deficiency compared to those with sight. As a result, extreme dependency on the sighted is sensible and in most cases, already assumed to be necessary. So what does this mean for a wannabe blindy? Never refuse help. In fact, accept it before they even ask. That way, they will not feel any guilt for potentially assuming what you need or want. When someone demands to go with you, "to make sure you don't walk too quickly for a blind person", smile and agree politely. When people put food on your plate without asking you, eat it. Should you refuse, no matter how politely, you might come off as ungrateful. When they tell you what you want, where you want to go, how you want to handle specific situations, SMILE. Acquiesce. They know better; as a blind person, you are missing a stimulus in your brain which people with sight possess. It takes more muscles to smile than it does to frown. Consider this your exercise. Everyone knows that once you don your blindy costume, there will be no more exercise in your future.
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7. Interaction With Others
Never face people when they talk to you. In fact, keep your back to them. They might be expecting this, and so they will be more comfortable. Assuming that you are traveling with a companion (to do otherwise might make sighted people uncomfortable), do not speak if you are not addressed directly. They may ask your companion if you can see, or if you are really blind, or if you know that they are even there. Show no indication that you are aware. Do not speak up, do not show any signs of having heard, do not ask them why they are talking as if you weren’t present. Remember that “If you cannot see them, they cannot see you.” (Aravind Adiga) Never joke about your blindness, you put them in an awkward position when you do that. When people ask, "don't you wish you could see?", the answer is always, you guessed it, yes. And when they ask, "is it hard being blind?", same answer. Bottom line, do not become too independent. That is not a blindy's place in a sighted society. Some people love games. Indulge them. When they ask you to guess "who am I?", play along. If you already know, pretend like you don't. When they ask, "how many fingers am I holding up?", look for the good in them and smile. If you cannot see it, don’t be surprised. Blind, remember? Do not allow that smile to turn into a cracked-plaster grimace. Remember, your blindness bars you from "seeing", "looking", or making your own decisions, for you would certainly turn your eyes down the wrong path every time.
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8. Feelings
Everyone is entitled to their feelings. When you step into the world of the blind, you will be no exception. The one stipulation, never express how you really feel. If you feel smothered, unheard, unseen, just remember that people are bending over backward to help you. Even though you may not have asked for it. It might surprise you how many sighted people get offended when a blind person refuses help, no matter how politely. And as stated earlier, if you express how you really feel, you might cause guilt in a sighted person. Then, you would be guilty of causing that guilt. That is no way to treat someone who means well, even if they make assumptions concerning your needs, wants, and desires.
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9. Praise
When someone compliments you, you know you're doing something right. So when someone praises you for finding the door, smile. When someone remarks upon "how well you walk for a blind person", laugh and thank them. As a blind person, people will much more freely praise you. Push any frustration aside and understand that being blind makes you that much more successful in their eyes.
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10. Acceptance
Last but not least. To close out this tutorial, and re-iterate everything, acceptance is key. The sooner you accept these rules, the better your blindy costume will be. If you fake it well enough, no one will ever have to see the regular, normal, every-day person behind that mask.