As someone with Retinitis Pigmintosa losing my vision also, you’ll adapt. You’ll find other pleasures in life. If you think your eyesight is the only thing making you happy, then you are shallow. What about the relationships you have with people and those memories? We experience more than just through our eyes.

I have some quick thoughts before I turn my computer off and go to sleep.

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1) It took me years to come to terms with losing my sight and even now it sometimes hurts. Don't feel it's not valid to fear what may come and mourn what may be lost.

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2) I've made great efforts to keep hobbies going. I've had to abandon some and modify others. For example, I loved Whitewater kayaking for years but it simply became too dangerous, I still lark around on flatwater. I recently took up target shooting ( I still have a few degrees of central vision to see the sights with) which is a sport that can even be accessible to the totally blind. There is a surprising amount of support out there for a wide range of activities, I know someone who plays Cricket (similar issues to playing baseball) and I am seriously considering trying Skiing.

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3) My imagination is always worse than the reality. The unknown loss is paralysing but when it comes to dealing with the present it has always been far more achievable than I thought. I have less than 5 degrees field of view and when reading I can see no more than 1 or 2 words at a time. 10 years ago this was unimaginable disability and now it's just how the world is.

I have gone through a very deep and dark valley myself during the past three years. After having been born legally blind, my vision slowly decreased over the course of my youth. For a very long time I was able to fake it, pretend I'm sighted. People nowadays tell me it was crazy I even did that. I was so good at it though, you would have never guessed that I'm legally blind just from looking at me on the street. Whenever I accidentally bumped into something, people thought I was a clumsy person and laughed about it.

Then, at age 27, my vision suddenly began to decrease drastically. Within just three years I've now gone to practically complete blindness on both eyes. Believe me when I say I've thought about suicide more than once. And the scary thing, I also used to have the determination for it. The only reasons I didn't do it are that guns aren't available in my country and that I was scared any other method of committing suicide might induce horrible pain and suffering. So, that's why I'm still here. I'm not one of those rainbows-and-unicorns people in this subreddit who go around claiming blindness is peanuts and they're living perfect lives. I'm a realist. And as such, I can tell you that yes, your life will probably become significantly more difficult in some ways. However, and I really mean this too, it can and will still be worth living.

As an analogy, try to think of elderly people. Many of them suffer in various ways. They've got arthritis, heart problems, bad skin, bad hearing, they get tired more easily, they can't sleep well anymore, bad digestion and a thousand other problems. Yet, you will always see two kinds of elderly people: the happy ones and the bitter ones. Are the happy ones simply lucky? Nope. My late grandma had like 14 quadrillion health issues. Already at age 60 her body was pretty much crap and she further destroyed by not taking good care of it. Amazingly, she still made it to the ripe age of 84 and *the* major reason for her success in overcoming her physical ailments was her attitude. You see, my grandma was the most cheerful, sweet, outgoing and loving person I've ever met. Contrary to most old people she always had a lot of friends, even right before she died and couldn't live the house anymore. I'm sure she often struggled but whenever I saw her, she was genuinely in a good mood. Rather than fighting her health problems and being bitter about them, she sought acceptance in herself and found a positive attitude to deal with them.

Now, to come back to blindness, the same method can be applied here. Going blind is not something we can change or affect. It's happening and that's it. It's natural to fall into depression over this because it makes you feel like you're not in control of your own life anymore. However, there is something you can do to re-gain this control. Change your attitude. Find acceptance. And most importantly: always look on the bright side of life. Doing this won't be easy. In fact, there will be many moments when you want to give up. I know this because I've already been going through it for 3 years and technically for my entire life. You will swear and you will cry and you will scream "why can I not just fucking die already?". But with every moment of frustration that you manage to overcome, your overall situation will also become better. There will be a period of time where you feel utter desperation and it's important to embrace this desperation once it hits you. Don't try to run away, just accept it. Maybe take some months off from work if you can (you now have time to prepare for that), look after yourself, be angry, be sad, don't give a shit about anyone or anything else. Don't feel guilty for going through this process. However, at some point in time, you will feel a twitch inside of you. You will feel that you're ready to get out of bed again, open the curtains and give life another chance. And when you feel this, *go for it*. I've just recently come to this point. After 3 years of complete darkness and desperation, I suddenly feel a quantum of new passion. It's only a spark but maybe in another few years it will be a fire again.

Many things will get lost along the way and some of them forever, but there are also ways to adapt if you are willing to. I'll give you a concrete example: one of my favorite pastimes used to be cycling. I live in a mid-sized, bicycle friendly European city, so my bike and I were total BFFs. I did literally everything by bike, shopping, going to the train station, going to the movies, meeting friends etc. Nowadays I walk around with a white cane and cycling is definitely not an option anymore. Luckily we have outstanding public transportation but still... it took me a long time to get over this. I still have my bike and sometimes I walk past it and think of the good old days. Then, a few weeks ago, I came on this crazy idea. I've always wanted to do a big bicycle journey across Europe,several thousand miles. For a long time I assumed this would simply not be an option anymore, until I came on the idea of the tandem bike. I thought: hey, why not do this together with my wife? It might actually be a wonderful trip and a great way to spend quality time as a couple! Of course I've known about tandems for a long time but there's another problem. As a result of my condition, I need to take eyedrops multiple times a day. These eyedrops *must* be frozen and they must remain frozen under all circumstances. If they accidentally thaw before I'm ready to use them, I have to throw them all in the trash and they're super precious and expensive to make. This seemed like an impossible obstacle until recently. A few days ago, I found an Australian company online that sells portable freezers for camping. The freezers can be powered with gas, so that solves the issue of coming up with electricity sources during cycling. So, if I can now somehow figure out how to buy a good tandem for my wife and myself, as well as a bicycle trailer, then fix that freezer and the gas bottles on that trailer, I'm ready to embark on this long dreamed-of journey. It makes me so happy just to think about that.

As part of my "transition", I'm also trying to focus on the new skills I'm learning rather than the old ones I'm losing. For example I'm now able to confidently walk with a long cane and I'm pretty damn proud of that. It took me about a year to master it but here I am. This is something my wife or my siblings or all the other sighted people out there can't do. Another example would be getting better at working with the computer, though I still have some training to do in this area.

I've also learned that some activities actually become more fun without sight, such as cooking and eating (both of which I love to do). Giving up reading was incredibly tough for me; I've studied literature in university, so I'm a big bookworm. But now that my wife gifted me a cool headset and introduced me to audiobooks and podcasts, I'm loving those. I can "read" Tolstoy's *War and Peace* while brushing my teeth or taking my eyedrops. How cool is that?

The thing that I was probably most scared of all was losing the ability to see my wife. I've always been a very visual person, both in terms of sexuality and in terms of aesthetics. Now I've learned it's not as horrible as I thought it was. When I talk to my wife, I can almost always guess with precision what mood she is in by listening to her voice. I've become much better at picking up subtle clues and paying close attention to non-visual details. During sex, touch has become even more important than before and my wife is absolutely loving it lol. I've always been into dirty talk and we didn't use to do a lot of that because my wife is the shy type but now she's gotten much better at it and I'm having a lot of fun with it in a completely non-visual way.

So, in summary, the two most important points are these: give yourself A LOT of time to mourn, accept and adapt. And once you're ready, embrace your new situation by approaching it with a positive spirit. Of course I'm also angry and sad sometimes but on some days I walk into stuff and I also just laugh about myself. This is not my nature, it's the result of having worked for it for a very long time.

Lastly, I want to strongly advise you to seek professional help if you can. I've been visiting a therapist for the past 2.5 years on a biweekly schedule and it's done wonders for me. I wouldn't be where I am today without this woman.

I'm not blind but my friend is. He enjoys the hell out of life. He does martial arts, bowling, sword fighting and ground golf (where you have big balls).

He's honestly and inspiration to me. Life is what you make it.

When I started losing my vision, I had time to adjust and make changes. When I stopped being able to pour coffee grounds without dumping some down beside the filter, I got a Keurig. When I lost most of my competitive gaming abilities, I adapted and found titles I could play and enjoy myself. I also learned an appreciation for my other senses. The smell of rain and snow, picking apart music to hear each instrument, the feel of the water in the pool, and being more adventurous when my foodie friends take me out to eat.


For me, losing my vision was the beginning of a new style of life, and while frustrating at times, there's still so much to experience.

What sort of things do you enjoy? I love playing music (instruments) and it breaks my heart that one day I won’t be able to read the music so might not be able to learn new pieces or play in a band anymore. But I think forward to that time and reason that I will just have to learn to play by ear maybe or join a freestyle band or something similar - diversify my skills - is that something you could consider in your interests?

I totally understand how you feel. Let me tell you dont feel bad when others say I know someone who is blind and they still live life to the fullest.

Let's be real, it takes a group of people to help. They dont realize that lost and lonely feeling can be there, even when you have a strong support system. I became 100% deaf 13 years ago, currently fighting to save my eye sight.

That grieving is normal and we need more mental health support for this. Hugs

RP here. We all through the down time, especially in the beginning because there’s so much unknown. You will learn to adapt to knew challenges and get really creative at solving problems RP present. I hate the word disabled, yeah I can’t drive or fly a plane but I can do pretty much everything else, I just might do it a little differently.

And you never have to be the DD. Silver linings.

You have other senses to enjoy the world with and blind people can do lots of things sighted people would think impossible.

Depending on what your hobbies and passions are, you might be able to adapt them. You'll also adapt your everyday life and things will turn out to be less difficult than you imagine.

In the meantime, if you're struggling psychologically, I'd suggest you go see somebody for that. Any major life change has a chance to be mentally challenging and there are people who can help, including counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists. Talk to your general practitioner and ask them to point you in the right direction.

There is much more to life! I've been married for 30 years to a totally blind man. Nearly EVERYONE has some issues, not just medical. there is a LOT to live for and a lot of things to enjoy. Don't give up. Start living. All the best.