Besides being deaf, I have cerebral palsy and I can only read with my right eye. I can see color and movement in my left eye but it's considered legally blind because I can't read out of that eye. I am also nearsighted so what I can see in my right eye requires glasses to correct the distance at which I can see.

My cerebral palsy is mild. I can walk, use one side of my body very well and can speak very well. I don't have trouble performing typical daily things like dressing, showering, shaving, doing household chores and the like. I do have some limits like I cannot use my left hand very well and I'm learning to tie my shoes at a ripe old age of 35.

These disabilities have never stopped me from accomplishing even the most difficult tasks, or tasks that may appear difficult to others but are easy to me. However my mother was controlling and maybe overprotective to the point where she did not prepare me for the outside world properly. She was expecting me to live in her house the rest of my life. Also there were certain moments in my childhood when she became physically violent or did things I'm pretty sure a good parent would never do. I will not go into detail about these memories because some of them are very graphic and disgusting. Because of these bad experiences, by the time I was 18 I was trying to figure out how to get away from the toxic household.

The need to get away became very urgent as I was finishing high school and college was that opportunity. But college isn't forever and when I was done I had to return to my mother's house. So I tried to come up with a new plan which again failed.

Long story short, one of my sister's had sunken deep into the depths of alcoholism anorexia and bulimia. The family tried to intervene in their way and it made her run for the hills. She died in NH and like a brother, I had a need to go an investigate the situation, but the guy she had died around wanted me to marry him so I got stuck in a 5 year toxic wedlock until I finally left with some of his and my shared savings last October 2018. I came all the way to California.

I know and understand that everyone is responsible for their own several, but thanks to a sheltered childhood, I have to learn many of these skills as I go along in my journey.

I know I have to go to work, but it's hard to even apply for a job because my eye tires out fast when I use a laptop or desktop. I do have a tablet which certainly helps, but I need a proper keyboard to type stuff on. I have tried different things like using a magnifier and adjusting screen size and font size and so on but it's still frustrating. I can't even follow a more even with it dark or with the tracker on. Just try to understand when I say it is hard to use an LCD computer just to do any task.

When I was in high school, I got work because someone got the job for me so I didn't have to apply for them. One time I filled out an application for Best a buy and it was a struggle because my eyes tired out fast.

If there's anything getting in my way of survival without dependency on other agencies for financial assistance, it's my eyesight. It hurts to even hold a phone and read stuff off the internet. Nothing else would stop me otherwise. I'm already tired from writing all this.