Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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RANT: Why the fuck do some sighted people think it's totally acceptable to grab the end of someone's cane? (self.Blind)
submitted by HDMILex
Was out last night. When I was on the underground some smart sighted scumbag felt it was totally acceptable to grab the end of my cane in an attempt to "guide" me. I ask her to let go, she doesn't. So I try and snatch the cane back, I have no fucking clue how it happened or what she was trying to do but my cane snapped in half. And I have the Ultracane so getting it replaced is most likely gonna be more pricey than simply replacing a regular cane.
Like seriously how fucking stupid and mentally retarded do you have to be to grab the end of somebody's mobility aid? This is not the first time it's happened. Uber drivers have done the same bullshit before and when I politely ask them to let go, they let go. And it's not as though we carry spare canes around with us because more shit to carry, and why should we have to? Do most sighted people carry a spare pair of glasses with them just in case somebody snatches the glasses off their face?
My God the amount of ignorance and total idiocy in this world is fucking astounding.
Thankfully, I was safe and managed to get home in one piece (no pun intended!)
To all my fellow cane users: always have a spare cane at home, just in case :)
And if you're traveling really far and have space in a backpack etc, carry a spare cane with you just in case this kind of bullshit happens to you. It's worth your time.
Thanks for reading.
Like seriously how fucking stupid and mentally retarded do you have to be to grab the end of somebody's mobility aid? This is not the first time it's happened. Uber drivers have done the same bullshit before and when I politely ask them to let go, they let go. And it's not as though we carry spare canes around with us because more shit to carry, and why should we have to? Do most sighted people carry a spare pair of glasses with them just in case somebody snatches the glasses off their face?
My God the amount of ignorance and total idiocy in this world is fucking astounding.
Thankfully, I was safe and managed to get home in one piece (no pun intended!)
To all my fellow cane users: always have a spare cane at home, just in case :)
And if you're traveling really far and have space in a backpack etc, carry a spare cane with you just in case this kind of bullshit happens to you. It's worth your time.
Thanks for reading.
CloudyBeep 22 points 3y ago
If politely asking for the person to let go or trying to wrestle it free yourself doesn't help, depending on the situation, you could try stopping and saying relatively loudly (so as to attract attention) but in a firm but not unfriendly tone, "Please let go of my cane immediately or I will call the police." The person will probably think that you're being too arrogant to accept their well-meaning help, but they will probably let go of the cane so they do not escalate the scene.
Myntrith 16 points 3y ago
Sighted, and I have no idea. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Why the fuck!
If I see someone with a cane, my first reaction is to assume they know how to manage, and just make sure I'm not in their way.
If something looks amiss, before learning what I learned here, I would have maybe put a hand on their shoulder and asked if they needed help. Now I know better than to make physical contact and would just try a simple, verbal, "excuse me, do you need any help?"
Even before learning better etiquette here, though, I would have NEVER just grabbed someone's cane. That's beyond rude. If I were blind, I would consider that no less than assault.
If I see someone with a cane, my first reaction is to assume they know how to manage, and just make sure I'm not in their way.
If something looks amiss, before learning what I learned here, I would have maybe put a hand on their shoulder and asked if they needed help. Now I know better than to make physical contact and would just try a simple, verbal, "excuse me, do you need any help?"
Even before learning better etiquette here, though, I would have NEVER just grabbed someone's cane. That's beyond rude. If I were blind, I would consider that no less than assault.
HDMILex [OP] 6 points 3y ago
Next time it happens and I get a broken cane, someone's gonna get assaulted.
No fully blind person should have to go through this. NO ONE.
No fully blind person should have to go through this. NO ONE.
CloudyBeep 5 points 3y ago
Violence is not the solution. You can't even justify it by saying it was self-defence.
HDMILex [OP] 0 points 3y ago
True but still
There comes a breaking point.
There comes a breaking point.
LeftAl 3 points 3y ago
The breaking point was your cane...breaking
themmama 8 points 3y ago
because they are ignorant and idions. i whacked someone once for doing that, and yelled loudly with another.
HDMILex [OP] 4 points 3y ago
I honestly wanted to do A LOT more than that but figured it wasn't worth it.
KrolPolski 6 points 3y ago
This has happened to me too, I don’t understand why people think this is okay. It doesn’t just happen to cane users, either. A similar thing happened to a guide dog user I know- someone on the train tried to grab her dog and lead her out.
KesagakeOK 11 points 3y ago
A lot of sighted people incorrectly assume that every non-sighted person they see is some helpless butterfly in need of assistance without even stopping to consider that they've already made it this far in their day without help and don't need any to get through the rest. It's incredibly ignorant and rude, but at least it's not coming from a place of malice.
KrolPolski 6 points 3y ago
“But what we wish chiefly is to be back on the streets, with access to all the avenues of ordinary commerce and activity. We do not want your pity, since there need be no occasion for it; and it is not we who suffer embarrassment in company with those whom we deem our fellows and our equals. You have been kind to us, and if we were animals we should perhaps be content with that; but our road to hell has been paved with your good intentions." - Jacobus Tenbroek
Seems like an appropriate quote. I am not willing to give people a pass because of good intentions. It is unacceptable behavior and they need to be told that it is not acceptable.
Seems like an appropriate quote. I am not willing to give people a pass because of good intentions. It is unacceptable behavior and they need to be told that it is not acceptable.
KesagakeOK 3 points 3y ago
They absolutely need to be corrected, I was just trying to present something from that viewpoint. Understanding their actions is the first step to correcting them so they don't try to pull that crap again.
HDMILex [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Jesus Christ are you fucking serious?!
Unbelievable I have no words.
Unbelievable I have no words.
bscross32 6 points 3y ago
The times you wish your cane was a straight cane just so you could whack them with it. Christ, what a dingbat this lady is.
tahtihaka 4 points 3y ago
Something similar happened to me too, and I totally relate to how you feel.
It was in a bar. Some random dude just thought it was funny. At first, I thought it got stuck, but as soon as I realized it was in fact someone grabbing it, I felt my bodily integrity violated. I don't like people doing that. At all. I'm a relatively big guy, have some vision left, and I've been practicing martial arts for some ten years. I already felt my hands and head get warm out of fight rather than flight response, but luckily a friend of mine intervened and talked some sense into that guy before I went nuclear.
It was in a bar. Some random dude just thought it was funny. At first, I thought it got stuck, but as soon as I realized it was in fact someone grabbing it, I felt my bodily integrity violated. I don't like people doing that. At all. I'm a relatively big guy, have some vision left, and I've been practicing martial arts for some ten years. I already felt my hands and head get warm out of fight rather than flight response, but luckily a friend of mine intervened and talked some sense into that guy before I went nuclear.
razzretina 3 points 3y ago
She broke it?! What the fuck! Usually people let go when I ask them to. Also they stop moving when I refuse to walk; I don't let anyone pull or push me anywhere except my guide dog. What is wrong with that lady?! The least she could have done was give you money to replace your cane that she broke! Man!
Seconding spare canes. I have two, one long and one folding. I'm a dog user but I bought a cane holster and carry my folding cane on my belt just in case. Yeah, it's one more thing on me, but I've learned the hard way that you need a spare mobility device on you at all times.
Seconding spare canes. I have two, one long and one folding. I'm a dog user but I bought a cane holster and carry my folding cane on my belt just in case. Yeah, it's one more thing on me, but I've learned the hard way that you need a spare mobility device on you at all times.
Mokohi 3 points 3y ago
Oh my gosh, I would be infuriated! I'm so sorry they broke your cane. I've had people grab my cane too and push it out of their way instead of just talking to me like an actual person. I hate it.
bradley22 3 points 3y ago
As others have said, those people are stupid.
This has happened to me too.
This has happened to me too.
GhodDhammit 3 points 3y ago
I don't recall whether my blind friend Bill ever told me of anything quite like that happen to him, but then, he's the kind of guy who bottles it all up and doesn't allow himself to talk it out, or cry on anyone's shoulder. He's also, in the past, lost his cane and did without one for a number of years. Of course, he's very good at navigating without one, or that'd have never worked. Now that he's in the Illinois blind vendor program, he can afford to replace them if he loses them.
ColonelKepler 1 points 3y ago
Unrelated, but you're username is amazing.
BKHammo 3 points 3y ago
Some people are just assholes.
samarositz 2 points 3y ago
Greetings. Yes, this happens to me a lot as well. I can only think of one time where it was actually broken though. The guy who did it had the nerve to blame me for the incident. "you walked right towards me." Well, sir, yes, this is a sidewalk. Anyways, yes, I learned the hard way to Cary a spare cane that day. Thanks for the rant.
Superfreq2 2 points 3y ago
The only surprising thing about this is that you use an ultracane. Like, how? Aren't they obnoxiously heavy and bulky/badly balanced, prone to water damage, have limited battery life, and can't fold up properly? Where do you even get new tips for the damn thing!
The one I used wasn't even useful for overhead obstacles, and went off constantly in crowds. Unless you have hearing difficulties, the whole thing seemed redundant, and even if you do, they make much cheaper clip on standalone units that don't turn your cane into a 2 by 4.
The one I used wasn't even useful for overhead obstacles, and went off constantly in crowds. Unless you have hearing difficulties, the whole thing seemed redundant, and even if you do, they make much cheaper clip on standalone units that don't turn your cane into a 2 by 4.
HDMILex [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Pretty much. It's a trash product, really. I hardly ever use the actual sensors as they don't even work properly most of the time.
skycaster15 2 points 3y ago
The cane is an extension of a blind person's body as is a guide dog and if someone grabs it without permission and then refuses to let go it is then assault. Legally you could have pressed charges. Considering the fact your cane was also broken even more charges. Knowing the correct legal limits of stuff like that is a big help. I hope this never happens to you again, but if it does use it as a learning opportunity for the other person by explaining the situation and giving them some jail time.
Anianna 2 points 3y ago
Did you get her information? She should replace your property she broke.
HDMILex [OP] 2 points 3y ago
No. I was too furious.
Anianna 2 points 3y ago
That's completely understandable.
JayCaro2001 1 points 3y ago
Can we not use ableist slurs like "mentally retarded" in a subreddit for a disability? Damn.
aaronespinozaca 1 points 3y ago
They don't know better. It's most likely their first time encountering a blind person. So they think that it is fine to do it.
Clumster 1 points 3y ago
Being sighted, I'd want to apologise to you on behalf of those who can see. It makes complete sense that it would be really unpleasant. It is almost exactly the same as if someone were to shine car headlights right into a sighted persons eyes as they went to go do something which would be infuriating, disorienting and unpleasant.
I think the reason it happens is because unfortunately most people don't think about blind people until they encounter them. It's sad that such things can happen. I feel like sighted people should really call out anyone they see grabbing blind people's canes.
I think the reason it happens is because unfortunately most people don't think about blind people until they encounter them. It's sad that such things can happen. I feel like sighted people should really call out anyone they see grabbing blind people's canes.
KingWithoutClothes 1 points 3y ago
I'm very sorry this happened to you. Nothing like this has ever happened to me so far. A few people have kicked my cane out of their way but no one has ever grabbed it. Luckily, I have a pretty stable and sturdy cane that is also foldable, so it probably wouldn't break if someone grabbed it. Also, the front part is obviously very dirty considering I roll it around on the pavement and over all kinds of nasty stuff (a few days ago I think I killed a slug with my cane). For this reason, I try as hard as I can to never touch it myself when I fold it together or let it touch my clothes. I also keep the cane in a plastic bag at home so the front part doesn't make the floor dirty. If someone grabbed the front part of my cane, I would feel a lot of schadenfreude.
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