Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Adjusting to slow vision loss (self.Blind)
submitted by razzretina
So I’ve been mostly blind my whole life but I was more or less raised as a sighted person because of my location and living situation. In some ways that was a good thing but, 35+ years later, there are some down sides.
I always expected to go blind really fast, especially since it kind of happened once. two years ago my retina specialist noticed a cataract on my only sort of working eye and that’s when I realised I hadn’t read a book in over six months. From that point on I watched what little I had fade away in bits and pieces, which hurt. I got in touch a lot more with my braille reading skills and I’m sort of learning how to use JAWS (we are not friends yet), but there’s not any sort of happy ending here (yet?).
I had cataract surgery a few months back and the surgeon was adamant that I should have a distance lens put in no matter how many times I told him I didn’t have the internal structure or brain skills to see like that. I got a distance lens regardless and, ta-da! All the useable vision I had before is gone! What I have left is just enough to make me sad and frustrated. I’m basically blind in colour. I’d feel better if I had just gotten it over with and gone blind fully; I know how to handle that but not this.
I’m kind of stuck. I didn’t realise until yesterday that the surgery messed me up pretty bad and the best I can hope for now is things staying this way. After two years of a slow degradation I’m still waiting for the next drop in vision even though it’s not supposed to happen anymore. And these couple of years have ruined a lot of the sighted things I used to do (i didn’t get all the training I should have as a kid and that’s a different rant). I’ve found alternatives to many of them, like reading braille, but sometimes the slowness of it is so frustrating when I used to be so much faster at reading, and it doesn’t replace all the comics I’ll never read again.
tl;dr: I’m slowly going blind and god is it depressing but nobody understands except probably a few of you.
Do you guys have any tips for dealing with this? (“Get over it” and “suck it up” don’t count, heh.) Thanks for any advice and for reading what turned into a sad rant. I know a lot about being blind but going even more blind than I already was is an ongoing struggle and even my therapist can’t find anything to say about it.
I always expected to go blind really fast, especially since it kind of happened once. two years ago my retina specialist noticed a cataract on my only sort of working eye and that’s when I realised I hadn’t read a book in over six months. From that point on I watched what little I had fade away in bits and pieces, which hurt. I got in touch a lot more with my braille reading skills and I’m sort of learning how to use JAWS (we are not friends yet), but there’s not any sort of happy ending here (yet?).
I had cataract surgery a few months back and the surgeon was adamant that I should have a distance lens put in no matter how many times I told him I didn’t have the internal structure or brain skills to see like that. I got a distance lens regardless and, ta-da! All the useable vision I had before is gone! What I have left is just enough to make me sad and frustrated. I’m basically blind in colour. I’d feel better if I had just gotten it over with and gone blind fully; I know how to handle that but not this.
I’m kind of stuck. I didn’t realise until yesterday that the surgery messed me up pretty bad and the best I can hope for now is things staying this way. After two years of a slow degradation I’m still waiting for the next drop in vision even though it’s not supposed to happen anymore. And these couple of years have ruined a lot of the sighted things I used to do (i didn’t get all the training I should have as a kid and that’s a different rant). I’ve found alternatives to many of them, like reading braille, but sometimes the slowness of it is so frustrating when I used to be so much faster at reading, and it doesn’t replace all the comics I’ll never read again.
tl;dr: I’m slowly going blind and god is it depressing but nobody understands except probably a few of you.
Do you guys have any tips for dealing with this? (“Get over it” and “suck it up” don’t count, heh.) Thanks for any advice and for reading what turned into a sad rant. I know a lot about being blind but going even more blind than I already was is an ongoing struggle and even my therapist can’t find anything to say about it.
PractisingPoetry 5 points 3y ago
Honestly, it sucks to lose a sense. Or more specifically, it sucks to be forced out of any ability you used to have. I think it's important to realize though, that being upset about it won't make it come back. That's not to say, don't be upset about it - give yourself time to cope, certainly. What you should avoid doing is letting that become your new default. Eventually, quite soon in all likelihood, you'll find that those moments of severe frustration at your loss only serve to cut away from the enjoyment you get from tasks. Once it comes to that, practise dismissing those thoughts. Not stopping them, but recognizing them and then letting them go. If you have to, literally say "okay" out loud. Not a positive or negative recognition. Just "okay".
You'll find that, over time, it becomes easier to do. Eventually, it will be automatic and not long after that, those thoughts won't plague you.
The anger you experience in losing the vision is a result of expectations. In time, you'll get used to your new situation, your expectations will change - the anger will also fade. It's important to note that changing your expectations is not the same thing as lowering them. It's about finding joy in what you can do and letting go of the anger about the things you can't.
And if you aren't the type to be convinced by words, then know that science has found that extreme change in situation leads to no long term change of happiness. Whether you've won the lottery or lost a leg - you'll return to a baseline of happiness in time.
You'll find that, over time, it becomes easier to do. Eventually, it will be automatic and not long after that, those thoughts won't plague you.
The anger you experience in losing the vision is a result of expectations. In time, you'll get used to your new situation, your expectations will change - the anger will also fade. It's important to note that changing your expectations is not the same thing as lowering them. It's about finding joy in what you can do and letting go of the anger about the things you can't.
And if you aren't the type to be convinced by words, then know that science has found that extreme change in situation leads to no long term change of happiness. Whether you've won the lottery or lost a leg - you'll return to a baseline of happiness in time.
razzretina [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Thank you for writing all this down. I use these techniques for other things but I hadn’t thought to apply them here, heh. I’ll start today. I’ve been stewing in this situation for two years now; it’s time to get up and do things again.
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