Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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unwanted assistance (self.Blind)
submitted by Altie-McAltface
You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're out in public, you know where you're going, you're walking quickly in a straight line with your head up and eyes forward. To any sane person this should project an attitude of confidence and independence. Sadly, you have a cane, or a dog, and that must mean you have no clue where you are or where you need to be. Some well-meaning but ignorant passer-by attempts to render aid--by grabbing your elbow without warning and steering you in a random direction. I call these people "Huggers" as in help+mugger, by analogy with "chugger" as in charity+mugger. It also conveys the invasion of personal space that all to often accompanies this unwanted assistance. Why do people think it's OK to pop my personal bubble? Even worse when they don't tell me first.
razzretina 5 points 3y ago
I like the term "charity mugger", that's exactly how it feels. I've just trained myself to become like a rock when anyone grabs me and ask them immediately to let go. If they get beligerent about it I'm prepared to scream and yell and make all of us look stupid to get them off me. It's really not okay to just touch or grab a stranger and it would be considered assault if we were sighted.
vapidvision 5 points 3y ago
I have found that I am less likely to get asked for money that pedestrians around me because I travel with a cane. There is a decent houseless population in my city, but my walks are rarely stopped by beggers.
razzretina 2 points 3y ago
Same! I've been given money by people every now and again and one night I somehow got two free meals from Taco Bell from a pair of homeless people. I felt kind of bad about that but they wouldn't actually take "no" for an answer and I wasn't about to fight anyone at midnight over free food. :D
vapidvision 4 points 3y ago
I really hate it when strangers spiritually assault me, demanding that I let them pray for me in the name of their god because obviously I must be a pathetic wretch in need of salvation if I have glasses and a cane. When I tell them I do not want that, and rip my hands from their entitled grasp, they look like I just s\*\*\* on their birthday cake.
"Helping" should not be done to make ther "helper" feel good.
"Helping" should not be done to make ther "helper" feel good.
Pheonixflames81 3 points 3y ago
Do they think we are deaf to? Like hey he can't see therefore she must be deaf too so I must just grab her cane instead of asking first. And if there's a guide dog their in for trouble. The dog will growl or bite especially if it's a German Shepherd.
bradley22 2 points 3y ago
It sucks.
SLJ7 1 points 3y ago
It's interesting that you mention the confidence projection thing. This is something that I think a lot of us never learn to do. I'm guilty of not walking confidently, and I think it really makes a difference. Like, maybe 80% of the difference. That said, there will always be the people that throw all of that aside in the name of being your knight in shining armor.. I've never had someone physically grab me unless I was actually asking for help, but I have had people tell me I'm going the wrong way when I'm 110% positive I'm not. To this day, I have never gotten one of them to tell me where they think I'm going.
Altie-McAltface [OP] 1 points 3y ago
My standard response to someone asking me "do you know where you're going?" is to point ahead of me and say "that way".
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