Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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I am trying to help a friend that will turn blind. (self.Blind)
submitted by so_typicall
Hello everyone. I hope everything is ok with you.
I have a friend that I really enjoy to stay with and she recently (10 months ago) started to see harsh lights, everything white, blind spots in the center of her vision. She went to the doctor and after some medical activity they found a rare disease in her vision. Basicly she will turn blind within ten to thirty years.
The problem does not stop there and she is experiencing some crysis and photosensitivity even in dark ambience.
How can I help her with this problem? Sometimes she feels that, when she turns blind, she will be useless. I understand her, she studied so much in her IT and programing area and now she will not work in that area anymore, or is she?
I really want to help her to get through this problem. I go out with her and try to spend as much time as possible to distract her, to make her laugh and forget about this, or at least, to focus in something else.
Do you have any advises for me? I'm sorry if my english is written in a way that some of your screen readers can't read correctly and thank you so much for your help. I hope people will be nice for you and you can be very happy in life.
I have a friend that I really enjoy to stay with and she recently (10 months ago) started to see harsh lights, everything white, blind spots in the center of her vision. She went to the doctor and after some medical activity they found a rare disease in her vision. Basicly she will turn blind within ten to thirty years.
The problem does not stop there and she is experiencing some crysis and photosensitivity even in dark ambience.
How can I help her with this problem? Sometimes she feels that, when she turns blind, she will be useless. I understand her, she studied so much in her IT and programing area and now she will not work in that area anymore, or is she?
I really want to help her to get through this problem. I go out with her and try to spend as much time as possible to distract her, to make her laugh and forget about this, or at least, to focus in something else.
Do you have any advises for me? I'm sorry if my english is written in a way that some of your screen readers can't read correctly and thank you so much for your help. I hope people will be nice for you and you can be very happy in life.
CanonofGlass 7 points 3y ago
Your friend can absolutely keep working in IT after she loses her sight!
so_typicall [OP] 4 points 3y ago
I always say that to her and she gets a little more relaxed. I even tell jokes about how people who work in some places really seem blind (because of their awful work) so she could do a better job and she laughs a lot ahaha.
What I need is some tips to make her get through this. Thank you for replying.
What I need is some tips to make her get through this. Thank you for replying.
CanonofGlass 2 points 3y ago
I know what you were looking for, but I thought a little bit of reassurance/comfort would also he beneficial.
CanonofGlass 2 points 3y ago
I know what you were looking for, but I thought a little bit of reassurance/comfort would also he beneficial.
ratadeacero 5 points 3y ago
Be there to listen. A sighted person going blind can be pretty heavy on the emotions. Of course, if you can't change it, you just have to live with it. When my wife started losing her vision, she was pretty depressed
so_typicall [OP] 2 points 3y ago
She feels like that but she keeps on reading and watching stuff about her disease. She studied health so she know about her problem.
She thanks me just for listening and I always try to help her in anything.
Thanks for replying.
She thanks me just for listening and I always try to help her in anything.
Thanks for replying.
slong0102 4 points 3y ago
10 to 30 years is a long time. Help her keep appointments with her eye specialists, learn low vision accommodations as she needs to, and enjoy her life now. This last piece is the most important.
so_typicall [OP] 3 points 3y ago
**Story time:** we go out to a cafe and once she had a crysis, I asked to turn off the lights and the "bartenders" (i don't remember the technical name right now) turned off the lights, they were really good for her!
We visit this place a lot and when they see us they turn off some lights, they are so lovely. Surely this, as a person who can see, makes me think about the kindness that people have inside them. It really melts my heart and sure melts her's.
I always try to invite her to go out or something, it's better to go out and talk, laugh, eat, walk then to be at home getting depressed all day.
Thank you for the good vibes.
We visit this place a lot and when they see us they turn off some lights, they are so lovely. Surely this, as a person who can see, makes me think about the kindness that people have inside them. It really melts my heart and sure melts her's.
I always try to invite her to go out or something, it's better to go out and talk, laugh, eat, walk then to be at home getting depressed all day.
Thank you for the good vibes.
bradley22 2 points 3y ago
That’s lovely.
It is so much better to go out and do things than sit inside and be depressed.
It is so much better to go out and do things than sit inside and be depressed.
All-Sided 4 points 3y ago
Hello. I've been completely blind since birth. I'd start introducing your friend to the way of life as a blind person right now, so she has enough time to grasp and get used. I don't know how this works in your country, but here an adult blind person can either go to study at a special rehabilitation centre for the blind or get mobility lessons from a private instructor. In these centres she'll be having mobility lessons as well, but for free. Although here paying to a private instructor seems a better option for the lack of these centres and careless approach to the students. Your friend still might be working in the IT sphere, especially if she starts exploring how to work with a screen reader right now. Personally I know one blind guy who writes apps for Android phones. I'm not really into programming, but am planning to boost my knowledge of HTML and learn CSS so I can test inaccessible websites. And I guess with your support your friend is never going to feel useless. I'm wishing both of you all the best.
so_typicall [OP] 1 points 3y ago
In Portugal people don't really care about blind people. Everything that is free is, like you said, " paying to a private instructor seems a better option for the lack of these centres and careless approach to the students.", that happens all the time in Portugal.
She is learning about screen readers, do you have any good screen reader? Something for android and windows computer.
Well, about that guy that writes apps for Android, she will be very happy to hear about it (she will even cry) so thank you. I will talk to her when this subject comes up.
Thank you again for your time!
She is learning about screen readers, do you have any good screen reader? Something for android and windows computer.
Well, about that guy that writes apps for Android, she will be very happy to hear about it (she will even cry) so thank you. I will talk to her when this subject comes up.
Thank you again for your time!
skycaster15 3 points 3y ago
There are built in screen reader functions in your android (and apple) accessibility setting.
Windows has many options. NVDA or NV access is free and very popular. Others include JAWS and MAGIC.
Windows has many options. NVDA or NV access is free and very popular. Others include JAWS and MAGIC.
so_typicall [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Thank you. She used NVDA but I don't know about her feedback.
All-Sided 2 points 3y ago
OK, you're welcome. I'm a Russian currently living in Belarus, so I'm not surprised by the way it is in Portugal. There are 3 screen readers for Windows: Windows Narrator is built-in into Wintows, but it supports not all languages and to me isn't really comfortable to use. However, it doesn't feel comfortable because it just recently came in Russian, so I'd been using other screen reading software. I am using NVDA. It is a free screen reader for Windows supported by donations. Another screen reader I know of is JAWS. But it costs so very much, most people download a cracked version. I'd advise to try it, even a cracked piece, though. Both screen readers have their advantages and downsides. Idially, both should be installed so when something doesn't work out, for example you've encountered an unaccessible website, it might work with another screen reader. For android: TalkBack for any Android phone and Samsung Assistant in the newest Samsung devices under Android 9. Hope this helps.
so_typicall [OP] 2 points 3y ago
She tried some of them, if not all of them already. I dont know her feedback but NVDA seems to be the best for her.
It helps a lot, now we have stuff to try, thank you!
It helps a lot, now we have stuff to try, thank you!
SpikeTheCookie 3 points 3y ago
She can absolutely continue in IT!
​
In fact, $1helps the blind and visually impaired do just that because it's a great way to stay employed in a high paying job.
​
In fact, $1helps the blind and visually impaired do just that because it's a great way to stay employed in a high paying job.
bradley22 2 points 3y ago
You are an amazing friend.
Keep doing what you are doing.
Keep smiling and making your friend smile.
Keep doing what you are doing.
Keep smiling and making your friend smile.
FartInsideMe 2 points 3y ago
My mom's going through this with a genetic disease. It onset when she was \~40, and now at 60 she's legally blind. At first she was really depressed and used online support fourms to meet other people with the condition. As the disease progressed she realized it's not bad being blind, I think she really appreciates how helpful everyone is. At the airport, random strangers will take her to her gate, grab stuff off shelves for her at the grocery store ect. She collects disability from the government, has friends take her out places, Life is good for her.
so_typicall [OP] 2 points 3y ago
I really try to talk to her about that, positive things but sometimes I like to be realistic to her and say that it's not going to be easy for her but, hey are you going to quit your life and your friends because of this? I know it's hard but I am always there to help!
My friend told me about being "legally blind" so I sure feel a lot smarter than before.
I belive that my friend will realize that when she will turn blinder or something, even though both of us didn't want that but we can't fight it. I am fighting to make her not to go crazy or really depressed.
Thank you for your time! I hope people will always be nice to you and your mother.
My friend told me about being "legally blind" so I sure feel a lot smarter than before.
I belive that my friend will realize that when she will turn blinder or something, even though both of us didn't want that but we can't fight it. I am fighting to make her not to go crazy or really depressed.
Thank you for your time! I hope people will always be nice to you and your mother.
jayjames0193 2 points 3y ago
hi! if you live in the California, maybe try to link up with a Department of Rehabilitation center, which work with people to make sure they stay employed, and can get you those tools necessary for work *for free*. If not, link up with any braille institutes, most of which will teach you how to use accessibility devices, and can even lend them out for a time,I hsaven't worked closely with braille, cause I usually get help from DOR, but I believe they are more widely avaliable in the US than DOR.
as a sighted friiend, honestly, just be there and treat them like you've always treated them :). even light hearted jokes like those help, at least for me, because i know that means that the person making them doesn't see me as some poor, helpless, victim, and can instead recognize that it's not the end of the world. I prefer lighthearted jokes than people apologizing for just saying 'but you see what I'm saying' or something, you know?
lastly, just be patient and understanding, manuevering without sight is strange when you're first starting out, so don't just charge ahead and leave your friend behind when you guys go out to get lunch or something. offer help, but don't try to be overbaring. i think reaching out and researching help just shows how great of a friend you are-- i'm sure you'll have no problem with helping her through this obstacle.
as a sighted friiend, honestly, just be there and treat them like you've always treated them :). even light hearted jokes like those help, at least for me, because i know that means that the person making them doesn't see me as some poor, helpless, victim, and can instead recognize that it's not the end of the world. I prefer lighthearted jokes than people apologizing for just saying 'but you see what I'm saying' or something, you know?
lastly, just be patient and understanding, manuevering without sight is strange when you're first starting out, so don't just charge ahead and leave your friend behind when you guys go out to get lunch or something. offer help, but don't try to be overbaring. i think reaching out and researching help just shows how great of a friend you are-- i'm sure you'll have no problem with helping her through this obstacle.
so_typicall [OP] 1 points 3y ago
I knew her just like this so nothing will ever change about how i treat her ahah. She is 23 and it's very hard for her to assimilate all this. Sometimes she even makes fun of me and I am glad for that, I love to see her smile and laugh hard, even when I am an ironic bastard that makes fun of her and her vision problem. She has a great sense of humor, that sure helps!
She asked me what was my favourite Korn album and I said three songs, one of them was called "Blind" and she thought I said it as a joke and laughed. Honestly I was lost about why had she laugh about a song so later I understood and asked sorry and we laughed about it ahaha. I would never ask for sorry about something that is normal in our language, people need to relax about it.
Thank you for the positive message jayjames0193.
She asked me what was my favourite Korn album and I said three songs, one of them was called "Blind" and she thought I said it as a joke and laughed. Honestly I was lost about why had she laugh about a song so later I understood and asked sorry and we laughed about it ahaha. I would never ask for sorry about something that is normal in our language, people need to relax about it.
Thank you for the positive message jayjames0193.
bradley22 2 points 3y ago
I totally agree.
People who don’t say things like see you later and things like that to blind people need to relax. They’re just words.
People who don’t say things like see you later and things like that to blind people need to relax. They’re just words.
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