Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Getting to travel around by your own...? (self.Blind)
submitted by TheJsUser
Have been visually impaired since I was born, not totally blind, tho. I've been dealing with the downsides of my condition since child, now I'm 22 and live is becoming even harder. I managed to get a decent job, move from my parents home and pretty much stand alone by my own, but there's still this dependency I haven't been able of getting rid of: how I get from point A to B.
My whole live I have felt I stick to other people, and I've worked very hard to change that, moved to an apartment that is on the road to my job by bus and try so much to not depend on anyone to get to my home to the job and otherwise, however, that decision implied moving quite far from my parents, that means sometimes I need to move from there to here and here to there... actually quite often. Taxis and Uber are getting too expensive and buses don't take me wherever I need to, and I'm starting to feel upset about having to ask and beg to someone to pick me up an/or drop me off. Today I needed my dad to bring me my ID cuz I forgot it at their home, and had to bear him telling how irresponsable I was and how everything is my fault for moving so far from them, and I'm not up to dealing with every person's mood whenever they do something for me, that's why I changed my job and why I moved apart. I don't want to depend on anybody anymore in order to travel around. That's why I'm here today asking you guys how do you manage to move around on your city or country by your own and if you have ever felt like this before.
My whole live I have felt I stick to other people, and I've worked very hard to change that, moved to an apartment that is on the road to my job by bus and try so much to not depend on anyone to get to my home to the job and otherwise, however, that decision implied moving quite far from my parents, that means sometimes I need to move from there to here and here to there... actually quite often. Taxis and Uber are getting too expensive and buses don't take me wherever I need to, and I'm starting to feel upset about having to ask and beg to someone to pick me up an/or drop me off. Today I needed my dad to bring me my ID cuz I forgot it at their home, and had to bear him telling how irresponsable I was and how everything is my fault for moving so far from them, and I'm not up to dealing with every person's mood whenever they do something for me, that's why I changed my job and why I moved apart. I don't want to depend on anybody anymore in order to travel around. That's why I'm here today asking you guys how do you manage to move around on your city or country by your own and if you have ever felt like this before.
8i8oio 4 points 3y ago
I agree with the comments about mobility training. But I don’t think it’s what you need the most.
When you grow up with lectures and guilt trips, you get a messed up perspective of healthy boundaries. Needing a ride, or carpool, is not a big deal with the right people, or it shouldn’t be. It feels like a weight because you were trained to think of it as a burden. But you’re not a burden.
I don’t complain when my mother in law needs ya to leave an event or shopping NOW, to get some food. She’s diabetic and doesn’t want to pass out. I dilly-dallied at an exhibit, it was my fault, and I’m glad she told me her needs. No issues or lectures or apologies - we just move on. That is how it should be.
I don’t have a book to recommend about healthy boundaries, but I’d happy to help you navigate the ins and outs in DM if you’d like. Any time. It’s a very learnable skill, and it changed my life.
When you grow up with lectures and guilt trips, you get a messed up perspective of healthy boundaries. Needing a ride, or carpool, is not a big deal with the right people, or it shouldn’t be. It feels like a weight because you were trained to think of it as a burden. But you’re not a burden.
I don’t complain when my mother in law needs ya to leave an event or shopping NOW, to get some food. She’s diabetic and doesn’t want to pass out. I dilly-dallied at an exhibit, it was my fault, and I’m glad she told me her needs. No issues or lectures or apologies - we just move on. That is how it should be.
I don’t have a book to recommend about healthy boundaries, but I’d happy to help you navigate the ins and outs in DM if you’d like. Any time. It’s a very learnable skill, and it changed my life.
Chaserly 2 points 3y ago
Great response. I’m not OP but I needed to hear this today.
8i8oio 1 points 3y ago
Very glad to help. Perspective is important.
mantolwen 4 points 3y ago
Hey it's not your fault you forgot your ID. That happens all the time to all sorts of people. It was not right for your Dad to tell you that was irresponsible. Sounds like your parents are finding it hard without you at home, because they're worried for you being out in the world by yourself. It's scary for them so don't blame them too much. One thing I like to do is when I leave home I run through a mental checklist of everything I need to bring so I don't forget it.
Good on you for moving away from home and looking for some independence. It's always hard at first but you'll get used to it. My fiance usually gets around by bus, but we are lucky to have a great bus system in our city. One thing to save money could be getting the bus closer to where you need to go, then get Uber or Taxi from there so the fare is cheaper.
Good on you for moving away from home and looking for some independence. It's always hard at first but you'll get used to it. My fiance usually gets around by bus, but we are lucky to have a great bus system in our city. One thing to save money could be getting the bus closer to where you need to go, then get Uber or Taxi from there so the fare is cheaper.
chrystalalex 3 points 3y ago
I think some mobility training would be good for you. Those people are trained to teach you how to get from a to b as smoothly as possible.
lhamil64 2 points 3y ago
I'm in a somewhat similar situation. I moved 5 hours away from my parents after college. Luckily, my work literally has a walking path over to an apartment complex so I can get to work pretty easily. There's also a grocery store within walking distance too (although I still typically ask people for a ride up there especially if I need a lot of groceries).
I definitely feel the pain of needing to depend on people for rides though, especially for longer distances. I have family that lives fairly close (like a 3 hour drive) that I would like to visit sometimes, but to take a train there would take like 5 hours with a layover in a big city which I'm not too keen on. Same problem with busses, so I'm basically stuck getting rides from people.
If you still feel like you're a burden asking people for rides, have you considered compensating them? It can even be something like taking them to lunch or paying for gas, just to show your appreciation and maybe take some of the burden off. Obviously this assumes you have the means to do so.
I definitely feel the pain of needing to depend on people for rides though, especially for longer distances. I have family that lives fairly close (like a 3 hour drive) that I would like to visit sometimes, but to take a train there would take like 5 hours with a layover in a big city which I'm not too keen on. Same problem with busses, so I'm basically stuck getting rides from people.
If you still feel like you're a burden asking people for rides, have you considered compensating them? It can even be something like taking them to lunch or paying for gas, just to show your appreciation and maybe take some of the burden off. Obviously this assumes you have the means to do so.
razzretina 2 points 3y ago
I’ve definitely felt this way before.
I do a lot of planning and research for travelling and I made sure to live where I can get around decently and wander about a little if I’m in the mood. It does mean that sometimes I just miss out on things but it’s not worth going to a barbecue just to be made to feel like a burden.
I’d say you could just use some more professional mobility training so you can maximise your skills and resources. And don’t be afraid to walk a bit if you can. My rule is that I’ll walk as long as it’s within five miles. :D
I do a lot of planning and research for travelling and I made sure to live where I can get around decently and wander about a little if I’m in the mood. It does mean that sometimes I just miss out on things but it’s not worth going to a barbecue just to be made to feel like a burden.
I’d say you could just use some more professional mobility training so you can maximise your skills and resources. And don’t be afraid to walk a bit if you can. My rule is that I’ll walk as long as it’s within five miles. :D
DoctorDubz 1 points 3y ago
Have you tried the Soundscape app? If you have an iPhone you can also ask Siri for walking directions or transit directions very naturally. Since Apple bought Hopstop, I find they are better than Google maps when it comes to transit directions. The Transit app is pretty good too and also can integrate with Siri. I find that Soundscape (sometimes in combo with map directions) is the most accurate way to know when to get off the bus or figure out where you are without asking someone. My challenge comes when I get to within several meters of the place I’m trying to find. Hope this helps.
dancingpianofairy 1 points 3y ago
Paratransit?
8i8oio 1 points 3y ago
I am in a huge city in the US and ParaTransit is my main transportation, but it isn’t in some states, or other countries. It would be nice to know where this person is from.
Also, I’m not trying to lecture you Piano Fairy :) I just worried your one word answer might cause confusion, so I thought I’d just explain it a bit. Sorry if it came out awkward.
Also, I’m not trying to lecture you Piano Fairy :) I just worried your one word answer might cause confusion, so I thought I’d just explain it a bit. Sorry if it came out awkward.
dancingpianofairy 2 points 3y ago
That's true, it'd help to know where they're at. Nah, I don't see it as lecturing. Thanks for elaborating!
8i8oio 1 points 3y ago
Yay! So glad to be on good terms :) hugs!!!! Glad to help!
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