This is not advice, it is just a thought but:

As a man in that situation I would feel very vulnerable and insecure about my ability to provide for the family. I would really like my wife to reassure me her unconditional love and support for life, but I would feel that asking for reassurance would be selfish.

What I am saying is maybe he needs to know you will always be there for him as a wife no matter what, so that he can feel confident about himself.

He has to build his identity, I don't know your believes but that plays a big role in most people's sense of self.

I lost my sight at 19. I'm not going to try and tell you that gives me total understanding of your husband's situation as everyone's different. Still, at the time I was a student and just starting to work with video cameras here and there. I guess we have something in common but I am always kind of torn between wanting to say things I hope will help, and not wanting to go stomping in there not knowing anyone involved personally, so this advice may not be worth much.

The identity thing is huge and it is sometimes not helped by people who went blind very young, or were born to it, who tend to not really understand what it's like. Even now, twenty years later, there are absolutely times when it really chafes that I can't be the person who's running around like a nutcase doing everything at once, at least not as much as I want. Lots of people will give you advice as to how to get used to that and in my experience you won't, not completely. But here's what I think is important. You don't have to find a way to like it. You do have to find a way to be okay with not liking it, in the same way you might not like climate change or chinese food and other things you can't do anything about, and it doesn't cause you total depression every single day.

Probably there isn't any way to stop it affecting your outlook. We are all just a sum of our experiences. There's no trick, though achievement helps. I have a career, I (sort of) employ other people, I contribute an equal share to paying the mortgage, I have a great partner and friends who don't even think of me as disabled. I personally found that a lot of people and organisations who want to help are very well meaning but have really low expectations because they are run by people who were born to this situation. Don't let them get to you, definitely don't let that attitude become your attitude.

Maybe I'm giving bad advice by telling people to cling to their identity, but I did and it worked out. Take it for what it's worth, which might be nothing.

I’d recommend looking into your local center for the blind.

It is a very tough thing to deal with. My vision loss began at 38 and I experienced a dramatic decline after a medical emergency a couple of months before my 39th birthday. I had to leave my chosen career (public safety) because I can no longer drive and I lack the visual acuity to perform the job. It is a huge blow to your sense of self considering how our society is predicated on what you do for a living defining you as an individual. That was one of the hardest things to change my mindset about because I had always worked and had progressed up the career ladder. I recommend that he seeks out mental health servicesand peer support, because it is a process of grieving not unlike losing a loved one. I had to work through the grief and anger before I could accept my vision loss and begin moving forward in a new direction.

I‘m not sure what services he has accessed previously, but he should seek out a low vision specialist. His ophthalmologist can refer him. They can help him obtain orientation and mobility training, recommended aids and assistive devices, and refer him to local resources. He should also consult with your state’s vocational rehab services. He might qualify for assistance obtaining necessary accommodations or even retraining in a different field. If you are in the US, legal blindness meets a disability listing for Social Security benefits. This allows access to the Ticket to Work Program that can help with retraining, etc. There are also state and federal tax allowances for the legally blind. He may even qualify for forgiveness of federal student loans due to disability.

I wish you both the very best. My wife provides so much support to me since my vision loss. It’s a fine line between helping fill his deficits and needs without being overbearing. And it honestly takes time to find the new normal after something like this occurs. He’s going to need you, but he might push you away sometimes because he’ll be frustrated he can’t do something he used to do (or hasn’t figured out a new alternative way of doing it yet).

My husband lost his sight to LHON at 18. Something that really helped him was joining the National Federation of the Blind. This organization is very empowering, and really stresses that blindness is not the thing that should define a person or hold them back. They have national and state conventions where he can be around other blind people and learn about resources and technology.
Blindness sucks sometimes, but he can still lead a really fulfilling life. My husband has what he calls "bad blind days" where inaccessibly gets him down. Hell, I have bad blind days too being his partner. But those days always pass.
He might want to consider a blind training facility. There are also state programs that will help him find employment. This could include them covering the cost of training on accessible technology. The state is currently paying for my husband's tuition at University. There are definitely opportunities out there. Best of luck!

Just in case you haven't come across it, $1 has information and resources. Hopefully, you can get connected with others who understand what you and your husband are going through and offer support.

My fiance has LHON and was treated with idebenone (not commercially available in USA but his doctor was able to get it for him from Europe). Idebenone is an analogue of coenzyme Q-10. I'm not sure anyone really thought it would work, but his vision returned to 20/20 (after being 20/200 in both eyes). He lost his vision at age 22, and his vision returned at 24. He is now 33 with \*knock on wood\* no residual issues. He does continue on the idebenone. I know this doesn't really answer your question, but just something to possibly investigate.

Not sure where you are located, but I run a marketing agency that features professionals with visual impairment. Check us out at $1. We may be able to send your husband some freelance video editing work.

First thing: you and he need to recognize that he is not in for an easy road. That's out of his and your control. This transition is going to suck big time. The only real choice you both get to make is whether it's going to suck forever, or just for a while.

The second thing to recognize is that most of what you think a blind person can do, and be successful at, is totally wrong. This is probably the hardest part. Everyone has been so conditioned to believe that sight is so vital to everything we do, and this life-long conditioning does not magically go away when you become blind. As a result, if he doesn't find himself constantly pushing himself to question and surpass his own limitations on what he thinks he can do as a blind person, he's probably doing it wrong.

Third, blindness organizations... They are super contravercial. However, one thing they have going for them is that hopefully they can expose him to other people who are living a life in a way he could be happy with. You will absolutely meet folks of all sorts at such meetings. Some of these folks are doing very well for themselves, and others are struggling. Even if these meetings aren't something for you in the long run, it's at least nice to be exposed to some good role-models early on, so you can at least get a sense for what is possible.

Fourth, depending on what sort of tech support he is doing, he may not need to quit. If he still has some vision, he can certainly use magnification. Otherwise, there are plenty of folks doing tech support who are totally blind. Video editing could be tricky if he loses all his vision, but a lot of blind folks successfully edit audio. I happen to be a software engineer, but I know other blind folks who are lawyers, mathematicians, biologists, school teachers, an embedded software engineer, substance abuse counselors, a small-town newspaper owner/editor, and a bunch more that I'm probably forgetting. Most important, none of these folks are extraordinary. They're just regular folks who learned what they needed to learn, were willing to creatively problem solve, and just did what they had to in order to survive and support their families. Living with blindness is a huge pain in the butt, but at the end of the day, that's all it is.

Thank you!!

Thank you so much!

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I'm so sorry this is happening to him. I'm not sure what LHON is, but I'm going to look it up.

The one thing I can tell you is about the Colorado or Louisiana Center for the blind. There is one other center, I forget which city it's in, but I believe in the north east. They offer a 6 month program for anyone who has light perception to total blindness, an amazing life changing course on how to deal with it. How to be independent. What to expect. They teach you how to do everything in your daily life, but without sight. I participated in the program several years ago, (I've been legally blind since birth), and it was the BEST experience of my life!! It changed me for the better. Yes, it was scary at times, because anyone who has even a tiny bit of eyesight will be immersed in total darkness/blindness by wearing a 'sleep shade' every day, all day, and that is very scary at times, but also, it was amazing! It was really the best decision I ever made in my life. If your husband applies for and receives aid from the government via disability, SSI, or both, the program will be totally paid for. He has to go there and LIVE there as a student for the entirety of the program, but they take care of everything. You live in one of the apartments, free. The only thing you pay for is the food you eat on a daily basis. Whether it's McDonalds, groceries you buy, or eating out.

I highly recommend you look into their programs. They are National Federation of the Blind affiliated. A lot of the instructors are visually impaired or blind themselves. So he will have the best training he could possibly get. I promise you, you guys would not be disappointed in joining their program.