Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Advice: Fun plans for blind friend (self.Blind)
submitted by [deleted]
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audreyjt 9 points 3y ago
Firstly, this is awesome that you’re thinking about this. I teach students with visual impairments and it’s amazing how differently they are treated because of their blindness. You are probably right that she is lonely and I think she would love hanging out!
What kind of things do you like to do? Start by just inviting her to do your normal social stuff. Going for coffee, out to eat, to a bar, game night with friends, etc. Going to a movie probably wouldn’t be the best idea, but they do make movies with image descriptions, if you wanted to watch one at home at a later date. Do you have a group of friends where you can bring her along? If so, it would be good to give her a heads up on everyone who will be there, and a small gathering would be better.
I love going to concerts with my friend who is blind. Maybe going to see some local music would be fun. I have a student who really likes shopping with his friends. My friend really likes to cook, so a cooking class or just eating out would be fun. Y’all could even go shopping for ingredients before cooking. She may have a meal she can teach you, or has something she’s been wanting to make.
Check into your city’s resources for the blind. The Lighthouse for the Blind in my city has lots of activities. One of my students does tandem bike rides and loves it! They offer yoga classes, cooking classes and other recreational activities.
I hope y’all get to know each other better and have fun!
What kind of things do you like to do? Start by just inviting her to do your normal social stuff. Going for coffee, out to eat, to a bar, game night with friends, etc. Going to a movie probably wouldn’t be the best idea, but they do make movies with image descriptions, if you wanted to watch one at home at a later date. Do you have a group of friends where you can bring her along? If so, it would be good to give her a heads up on everyone who will be there, and a small gathering would be better.
I love going to concerts with my friend who is blind. Maybe going to see some local music would be fun. I have a student who really likes shopping with his friends. My friend really likes to cook, so a cooking class or just eating out would be fun. Y’all could even go shopping for ingredients before cooking. She may have a meal she can teach you, or has something she’s been wanting to make.
Check into your city’s resources for the blind. The Lighthouse for the Blind in my city has lots of activities. One of my students does tandem bike rides and loves it! They offer yoga classes, cooking classes and other recreational activities.
I hope y’all get to know each other better and have fun!
RockytheScout 7 points 3y ago
These are all great ideas. I just want to add that many (all?) movie theaters (in the U.S.) now have audio description available through headphones they loan to the person who needs them. I believe by law all public theaters have to have the technology installed to provide these but I'm not sure. In any case our local multiplex has them and my blind friend uses them when we go to the movies together. She just requests them from the ticket taker.
KickingCow 4 points 3y ago
Good to know! Thats awesome, didnt know this was available! So excited to start planning outing with her.
SLJ7 4 points 3y ago
Hi, just so you know, lots of theaters in developed countries have little boxes that provide audio description over headphones. Just call ahead and ask.
audreyjt 2 points 3y ago
Thanks! How did I not know that?
SLJ7 2 points 3y ago
I have blind friends who are still finding out about them. Mostly theater staff are just disturbingly uneducated about them so if you don't know to ask, they won't know to offer. People regularly get handed magnifiers or the assistive listening devices instead of the description box, and they have to be programmed for the movie in question. If they do it wrong though, most of them will give a full refund or free movie credit
JynxBJJ 2 points 3y ago
Very disturbing
Y. I constantly have to go back and tell the staff that I don’t need the one for hate of hearing. Or, even funnier, that the closed captioning ones are useless to me...bu5 when it’s good, I talk to the manager and praise the employees.
Y. I constantly have to go back and tell the staff that I don’t need the one for hate of hearing. Or, even funnier, that the closed captioning ones are useless to me...bu5 when it’s good, I talk to the manager and praise the employees.
KickingCow 4 points 3y ago
Thank you for the ideas! Im a huge introvert and dont have any friends, but her, at my university. I talk to a few girls but they are into activities that i am not, like drinking, clubbing, etc. Seems like my friend is the same way. I like that about her. I’ve never interacted with anyone who is blind so I’ve been having a hard time asking her to hangout outside of campus. I don’t want to choose something that may seem inconsiderate.
audreyjt 4 points 3y ago
Maybe just ask her to coffee one day after class or something. And if she denies, ask her when she can go and see if you can plan something for the future. Or bubble tea, if you have those by you. The ones around me always have board games. They also just made Braille uno cards and they have Braille regular playing cards. Game night!
KickingCow 3 points 3y ago
Braille uno?! I think that would he perfect! Great way to start
paneulo 3 points 3y ago
Most movie theatres have headphones you can borrow with description. Just call ahead to confirm that they are setup for this, and that they have descriptions for the title you are interested in. Just be super clear that you want descriptions for the blind, not audio for the hard of hearing.
Envrin 5 points 3y ago
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If you want to give her a treat with hopes of sparking the friendship, what about a day spa?
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Get all massaged up, plastered in cucumber cream or mud or whatever they do, followed by hanging out in a jacuzzi with some wine. :-)
If you want to give her a treat with hopes of sparking the friendship, what about a day spa?
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Get all massaged up, plastered in cucumber cream or mud or whatever they do, followed by hanging out in a jacuzzi with some wine. :-)
KickingCow 3 points 3y ago
I love it!! Thats a great idea! Thank you! Best way to destress!
PungentMushrooms 4 points 3y ago
Dungeons & dragons with a group is always fun
KickingCow 2 points 3y ago
I’ve never played! It’ll be a fun new experience for both, if she hasnt played either.
blackberrybunny 4 points 3y ago
Legally blind since birth 51 y.o. woman here. Is your friend totally blind, or does she have some sight?
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I have an idea: How about a comedy show? You know, live, stand up comedy? That is always great, and requires no sight at all, to enjoy!
Or take her somewhere that will stimulate her other senses, such as a place that smells amazing. Someone mentioned a coffee shop. I think everyone, even those who don't enjoy drinking coffee, surely must love the smell of coffee roasting. Mmmmm! And they always offer tea and muffins. Over a nice cup of hot whichever, and a scone, you two can talk about something else other than school, and find out what your common areas of interest are. And if you find you both share little in common, break out of your box and delve into what one of her interests are, to start.
How about swimming? A picnic at a lake? (I realize it's "winter," but here in FL it is so hot right now you could go swimming in any lake or spring head or swimming pool here).
Everyone enjoys some fresh air and good food!
KickingCow, also, how about a theme park?
When I was a student at the Louisiana Center for the Blind, they taught us we could do ANYTHING. And to prove it, us students participated in all kinds of activities, from bowling, to white water rafting, to rock climbing. We went to movies, to buffets, (which were a challenge), to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, to a boat tour in the Louisiana Bayous to watch (listen?) for alligators. I didn't care the bayou tour at all, hahahah. But I'm just sharing some of the activities we had fun doing. Everything is daunting the first time around, but then it gets fun.
Ask her to go and have some fun, and please do come back and tell us all about it! We are here to help! And you just earned a bunch of brownie points. :-)
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I have an idea: How about a comedy show? You know, live, stand up comedy? That is always great, and requires no sight at all, to enjoy!
Or take her somewhere that will stimulate her other senses, such as a place that smells amazing. Someone mentioned a coffee shop. I think everyone, even those who don't enjoy drinking coffee, surely must love the smell of coffee roasting. Mmmmm! And they always offer tea and muffins. Over a nice cup of hot whichever, and a scone, you two can talk about something else other than school, and find out what your common areas of interest are. And if you find you both share little in common, break out of your box and delve into what one of her interests are, to start.
How about swimming? A picnic at a lake? (I realize it's "winter," but here in FL it is so hot right now you could go swimming in any lake or spring head or swimming pool here).
Everyone enjoys some fresh air and good food!
KickingCow, also, how about a theme park?
When I was a student at the Louisiana Center for the Blind, they taught us we could do ANYTHING. And to prove it, us students participated in all kinds of activities, from bowling, to white water rafting, to rock climbing. We went to movies, to buffets, (which were a challenge), to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, to a boat tour in the Louisiana Bayous to watch (listen?) for alligators. I didn't care the bayou tour at all, hahahah. But I'm just sharing some of the activities we had fun doing. Everything is daunting the first time around, but then it gets fun.
Ask her to go and have some fun, and please do come back and tell us all about it! We are here to help! And you just earned a bunch of brownie points. :-)
KickingCow 2 points 3y ago
Comedy show is a great idea! I love it!
I never even thought about places that can stimulate other senses. Im sure she would appreciate that!
Im not sure if she has some sight or not. We’ve only hung out about 3 times, I’ve been wanting to ask her a few questions but also dont want to overwhelm her with so many. Seems like she still had her guard up, which I completely understand, but I’m really hoping we can make our friendship grow! She has been the only person who has been nice to me.
Than you for your response! So many great ideas!
I never even thought about places that can stimulate other senses. Im sure she would appreciate that!
Im not sure if she has some sight or not. We’ve only hung out about 3 times, I’ve been wanting to ask her a few questions but also dont want to overwhelm her with so many. Seems like she still had her guard up, which I completely understand, but I’m really hoping we can make our friendship grow! She has been the only person who has been nice to me.
Than you for your response! So many great ideas!
Klb0594 3 points 3y ago
hi, like your friend and you, I am in college and feel very alone most of the time. I mostly spend time in my room, sleeping, doing schoolwork, and listening to music or watching tv, all i want is to be treated normally, and helping people understand in one thing, but not being approached or being ignored hurts :(
KickingCow 2 points 3y ago
I am so sorry! This hurts me. I’ve seen my friend be ignored a few times and it gets me so upset. Its hard for me to make friends as well but i know its not the same at all. I hope you gain friends you share common interests with along the way. Same goes for me, college can be a lonely place.
BlueRock956 3 points 3y ago
If you mention the City we may be able to offer better suggestions. From experiences I went to concerts in the campus, restaurants, shopping, fairs, and I went to a confrence with several students in my class.
KickingCow 1 points 3y ago
We are at the University of California, Irvine :)
Thats a great idea! Still in our comfort zone but steering away from the stress of it.
Thats a great idea! Still in our comfort zone but steering away from the stress of it.
BlueRock956 3 points 3y ago
She invited you to meet at Starbux, and that's a good start. She does want to meet outside of the academic setting.
It'll be a challenge for her if she does not have independent travel experiences; she may be shy and pull back from asking for help even if she needs it.
A lot of blind people don't know how to have conversations. Many stick to safe subjects like technology and other blindness related subjects. I used to be this way, until I started reading newspapers, magazines, and paying attention to things outside my disability.
If her conversation revolves around academics, its alright to say, "Hey, I'm overwelmed with academics," and change the topic to music, shopping, and random stuff.
It'll be a challenge for her if she does not have independent travel experiences; she may be shy and pull back from asking for help even if she needs it.
A lot of blind people don't know how to have conversations. Many stick to safe subjects like technology and other blindness related subjects. I used to be this way, until I started reading newspapers, magazines, and paying attention to things outside my disability.
If her conversation revolves around academics, its alright to say, "Hey, I'm overwelmed with academics," and change the topic to music, shopping, and random stuff.
KickingCow 1 points 3y ago
That makes total sense! And in all honesty school talk does overwhelm me. She’s so knowledgeable and helpful but its a bit much. I never wanted to shut her down since she’s been a huge help. I will definitely have to speak up a bit and tell her I appreciate her help but I’d like to know about her other interests.
oncenightvaler 3 points 3y ago
Well, what interests do you have in common? She can do anything surely, bowling, indoor rock climbing, going to concerts or plays, watching karaoke, hanging out at bars or the movies, even hanging out at a club so long as you two stick close together. Anything you do with your other friends do with this woman.
KickingCow 3 points 3y ago
Awesome! Thank you! :)
We’ve honestly haven’t had a convo that doesn’t have to do with school. It’ll be nice to get out and talk about a lot more stuff.
We’ve honestly haven’t had a convo that doesn’t have to do with school. It’ll be nice to get out and talk about a lot more stuff.
Mendy3273 2 points 3y ago
Don't know if anyone has mentioned these yet: I enjoy going on hikes, which can be made easier someone wearing a bell ahead of me on the trail, and going on walks, with someone talking and walking beside me.
I also love visiting animal shelters, which can always use volunteers to walk the dogs or play with the cats. This is not only a free, but a give-back activity.
I also love visiting animal shelters, which can always use volunteers to walk the dogs or play with the cats. This is not only a free, but a give-back activity.
KickingCow 2 points 3y ago
I love the idea! Im sure she’d enjoy going to the shelter! She loves animals
JynxBJJ 2 points 3y ago
I’d just ask her what she’d like to do. Probably anything you’d do w a sighted friend she would maybe enjoy. Even museums have accessibility offerings. I tell my husband that the things I enjoy haven’t changed, just how I can enjoy them. Like stated above, movies can be great, as can mani/pedis, or just watching Netflix with DA and play9 g a drinking game. Since she’s a student, like you, cheap things are good. I love taking walks, because the sound of parks is very different that the city or burbs.
Oh, and if you feel close enough to her or do so, ask her to tell you stories about sighties and the rediciould things they do.
Idk if anyone said this, but don’t think of her as your blind friend, just a friend who is blind. (Not saying you were, you seem reLly nice and not that way). Bonus pic of my guide dog and my pet dog. https://i.imgur.com/qwuGAHd.jpg
Oh, and if you feel close enough to her or do so, ask her to tell you stories about sighties and the rediciould things they do.
Idk if anyone said this, but don’t think of her as your blind friend, just a friend who is blind. (Not saying you were, you seem reLly nice and not that way). Bonus pic of my guide dog and my pet dog. https://i.imgur.com/qwuGAHd.jpg
KickingCow 1 points 3y ago
Haha she told me a few of her high school stories. I couldn’t stop laughing but felt bad for her at the same time. Brushed it off since she seemed to have a good time remembering.
Also, your dogs are adorable!! Thank you for sharing and for the ideas!
Also, your dogs are adorable!! Thank you for sharing and for the ideas!
SLJ7 2 points 3y ago
Don't overthink and undercommunicate. There are a lot of unknowns here, and I think all you can do is give her a safe space to advocate for herself or ask for help, and otherwise treat her as a normal human being. None of us know what her independence levels are, whether being in Starbucks makes her anxious or she just didn't feel like it that day, or whether she's introverted or just isolated. I would definitely start by asking what she likes to do or hasn't done before, and whether she has anything in mind that you can do to make these things easier. It sounds like this is for you as well as her, so hopefully you can find things you both enjoy doing and connect on a level other than school. Even among blind friends of mine, interests range a lot so I don't want to just throw out a preset list of things that might work. You can both discover those things for yourselves.
KickingCow 1 points 3y ago
Thank you! I think that is the issue here. Im overthinking and complicating things a bit.
SLJ7 1 points 3y ago
It's something I see people do often around me, so you're not alone. It's just a lot harder to explain this face-to-face while it's happening.
Envrin 2 points 3y ago
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Or if cash is low, maybe just a community swimming pool that has a steam room and/or jacuzzi. See what you can do to bring some wine in maybe to help break the ice.
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Since it's a new friendship, only real advice I can give is try to think of things that are just as enjoyable regardless if you're blind or sighted, and with minimal additional struggle added due to being blind.
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Can only speak for myself, but many times I will just refuse to go out for coffee or dinner, because it's just a pain, plus I don't want to burden who I'm with. Even just a simple coffee -- manage to find the outside door, but don't know where to pay or pickup the coffee, can't read the menu, don't know where the bathroom is and even after you find it, can't quite remember exactly what table you're stting at is, etc.
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Whereas at home if I want a coffee, I just make myself one, because I know where everything is. Due to all that, many times I just won't bother coming along with whoever.
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Would suggest taking that into mind while the friendship is forming, and give it a bit of time for her to realize you don't care about her disability, and she's not a burden on you. Again, can only speak for myself though and how I feel about things like this.
Or if cash is low, maybe just a community swimming pool that has a steam room and/or jacuzzi. See what you can do to bring some wine in maybe to help break the ice.
​
Since it's a new friendship, only real advice I can give is try to think of things that are just as enjoyable regardless if you're blind or sighted, and with minimal additional struggle added due to being blind.
​
Can only speak for myself, but many times I will just refuse to go out for coffee or dinner, because it's just a pain, plus I don't want to burden who I'm with. Even just a simple coffee -- manage to find the outside door, but don't know where to pay or pickup the coffee, can't read the menu, don't know where the bathroom is and even after you find it, can't quite remember exactly what table you're stting at is, etc.
​
Whereas at home if I want a coffee, I just make myself one, because I know where everything is. Due to all that, many times I just won't bother coming along with whoever.
​
Would suggest taking that into mind while the friendship is forming, and give it a bit of time for her to realize you don't care about her disability, and she's not a burden on you. Again, can only speak for myself though and how I feel about things like this.
KickingCow 1 points 3y ago
This is exactly what i was worried about. Making her feel uncomfortable in some sort of way. Interestingly enough, last time we hung out she wanted yo meet at a Starbucks but refused to go inside or order anything. Thought it was strange she wanted to meet there since we just sat and talked outside, we could have done that anywhere. It makes sense now!
RockytheScout 3 points 3y ago
I would also just be direct with her. "Would you like to go inside and order coffee?" She may love to do that but not have wanted to that day, so then you'll know to suggest it another time, or she might say "I don't really know the menu" (and you can offer to read her her options). Or she might say "I don't really enjoy being in coffee shops" or whatever. But my point is, you are, to your credit, very concerned about not making her uncomfortable, but give HER the credit of being able to speak up for herself. If you suggest something she would rather not do, she can say no thank you and suggest something different.
I think it's even okay to say "I haven't been around visually disabled people much so please tell me whatever I should know about you/if I can help you at any time. I don't want to do anything that might be inconsiderate." Then if you're walking somewhere, ask her if she would like any help (she might want to take your arm). (Ask, don't grab her arm, of course.) If she takes your arm, ask her if she wants you to tell her when the curb is coming or whatever. If she has told you what she wants (or doesn't want) you'll know you won't offend her or make her uncomfortable. If you go into a cafe or restaurant, ask if she would like you to read the menu. Don't ask her as if she's a child, but just in a straightforward way.
I think sometimes people think that in order to treat someone with a disability fairly and kindly, they should ignore the disability and pretend it's not there. But (depending on the disability) that doesn't always make sense. You shouldn't ignore someone being blind if, because you are sighted, you can help them safely cross a street or (if they wish) read them the program at the theater. They know they are blind; it's not like they forgot till, oh darn it, you asked if you could help them.
I think it's even okay to say "I haven't been around visually disabled people much so please tell me whatever I should know about you/if I can help you at any time. I don't want to do anything that might be inconsiderate." Then if you're walking somewhere, ask her if she would like any help (she might want to take your arm). (Ask, don't grab her arm, of course.) If she takes your arm, ask her if she wants you to tell her when the curb is coming or whatever. If she has told you what she wants (or doesn't want) you'll know you won't offend her or make her uncomfortable. If you go into a cafe or restaurant, ask if she would like you to read the menu. Don't ask her as if she's a child, but just in a straightforward way.
I think sometimes people think that in order to treat someone with a disability fairly and kindly, they should ignore the disability and pretend it's not there. But (depending on the disability) that doesn't always make sense. You shouldn't ignore someone being blind if, because you are sighted, you can help them safely cross a street or (if they wish) read them the program at the theater. They know they are blind; it's not like they forgot till, oh darn it, you asked if you could help them.
KickingCow 2 points 3y ago
Very insightful! Thank you!
You are right on so many levels.
You are right on so many levels.
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