Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Dating While Blind, Do's, Don'ts, Advice, Experiences? (self.Blind)
submitted by EducationalLocksmith
I was interested in the recent thread on LGBT dating while blind. I'm not gay myself but I think it raises an interesting subject and something I've had problems with. I'd be really interested in people's experiences and "do's and don'ts". (I mentioned this same issue a couple years ago on this but would be interested in your thoughts anyway.)
I'm in my early 30s. I'm a guy. I'm completely blind and have been, since I was very young. I work, a lot. Outside of that, I listen to a lot of audiobooks and hang out with friends and family, work hasn't really left much time for that many other hobbies.
I started online dating a while ago now. I hadn't dated much before that and to be honest, maybe that was and is a confidence thing ... I'd find it hard to ask someone out in case they weren't keen and it was very awkward for them and being completely honest, I'm not at all sure I'd be great at asking someone out.
Anyway, online dating was a pleasant surprise in some ways - I got and get a good number of matches and a reasonable number of dates. I've always been completely up front about being blind and that's very obviously an issue for some people but apparently not for others. I'm also quite selective about who I'll date - I want someone I'll have at least something in common with and if I'm honest, someone intelligent and cute as well.
However, when I date these people, it never works out. The dates themselves seem fine, at least to me. We tend to do drinks or coffee or sometimes dinner. In the nature of things, some are better than others. After some, it's pretty clear that it's not meant to be and we agree that mutually and there have been a couple of women that I wouldn't want to date again.
However, what usually happens is that I'm keen to date further and they are not. If they are interested, we date a couple more times and then end up leaving it.
Also, I can never seem to kiss these women or anything else along those lines - I'm not saying that's all this is about for me (it's not, actually) but it's certainly part of it :) I'm not sure whether I'm missing non-verbal queues or whether they're not keen, which is fair enough also.
Part of me wonders whether the vision thing is a bigger issue for these women when I meet them. Clearly, one would not be inclined to say that, especially if nice, as they generally areAdvice, comments, experiences also welcome. Sorry this probably reads as terribly self-pittying and perhaps it is but I think it's important to explain how I see things at the moment to get comments.
I'm in my early 30s. I'm a guy. I'm completely blind and have been, since I was very young. I work, a lot. Outside of that, I listen to a lot of audiobooks and hang out with friends and family, work hasn't really left much time for that many other hobbies.
I started online dating a while ago now. I hadn't dated much before that and to be honest, maybe that was and is a confidence thing ... I'd find it hard to ask someone out in case they weren't keen and it was very awkward for them and being completely honest, I'm not at all sure I'd be great at asking someone out.
Anyway, online dating was a pleasant surprise in some ways - I got and get a good number of matches and a reasonable number of dates. I've always been completely up front about being blind and that's very obviously an issue for some people but apparently not for others. I'm also quite selective about who I'll date - I want someone I'll have at least something in common with and if I'm honest, someone intelligent and cute as well.
However, when I date these people, it never works out. The dates themselves seem fine, at least to me. We tend to do drinks or coffee or sometimes dinner. In the nature of things, some are better than others. After some, it's pretty clear that it's not meant to be and we agree that mutually and there have been a couple of women that I wouldn't want to date again.
However, what usually happens is that I'm keen to date further and they are not. If they are interested, we date a couple more times and then end up leaving it.
Also, I can never seem to kiss these women or anything else along those lines - I'm not saying that's all this is about for me (it's not, actually) but it's certainly part of it :) I'm not sure whether I'm missing non-verbal queues or whether they're not keen, which is fair enough also.
Part of me wonders whether the vision thing is a bigger issue for these women when I meet them. Clearly, one would not be inclined to say that, especially if nice, as they generally areAdvice, comments, experiences also welcome. Sorry this probably reads as terribly self-pittying and perhaps it is but I think it's important to explain how I see things at the moment to get comments.
blackberrybunny 9 points 3y ago
Your looks mean nothing.
Your personality is everything.
The right person for you is out there; She just hasn't found you yet.
Your personality is everything.
The right person for you is out there; She just hasn't found you yet.
jrs12 5 points 3y ago
This. For all people who want to have relationships with people. Ever. Personality is everything.
blindnessandbees 6 points 3y ago
I got into a relationship with one of my best friends half a year a go now. I’m legally blind (I see 2.5%) and my boyfriend is fully blind. I feel like I didn’t get the dating experience like at all, because we had known each other for so long and are both blind. Can’t even imagine how tough it must be, meeting new people is always hard but when it comes to something like dating, where you want someone to like you so much. Even though dating another blind person can be difficult (like going on dates can be a challenge) I am so happy I found my boy.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 3 points 3y ago
Good for you! I've never dated another blind person. That is not a conscious thing at all, the truth is that I know few other blind people around my own age.
blindnessandbees 2 points 3y ago
I transferred to a school for the blind when I started to go blind at 14, so that’s how I met him. I can imagine if you’re just living your blind life it’s quite hard to befriend other blind people.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 2 points 3y ago
How did you find the School for the Blind, do you mind my asking?
blindnessandbees 2 points 3y ago
I live in The Netherlands, there are very few schools for the blind as we’re quite a small country so I just was referred to the one closest to me that provided the type of education I needed and wanted
grinchnight14 1 points 3y ago
Know this thread is old, but that's some true shit.
All the blind people I've met have like not been my age. They've been like a lot older or like little kids lol
All the blind people I've met have like not been my age. They've been like a lot older or like little kids lol
pxlgirl 4 points 3y ago
Visually impaired (and also gay) female here. Dating can be quite tough for either gender. Most sighted people rarely have encountered someone with a disability, so their perception is biased with stereotypes and misconceptions. Having said that, it is to act and appear in a way that defies those prejudices. I can tell you the things I do, hopefully it will help:
- I take very good care of my appearance. I don’t mean tons of makeup and crazy hairstyles, but I eat healthy, do workout, invest in skincare and dress nicely.
- I ask friends for feedback on my behaviour and body language
- I am independent, able to support myself financially, but also have a network of friends who I can ask for help.
- I have some hobbies, for example arts, cooking and photography.
The problem with today’s dating scene is that people are always on the search for a better option. In general, girls hope for finding a wealthier, higher status guy, guys hope for a prettier, younger girl. Of course it won’t apply to everyone, but you won’t find those exceptions so easily in bars or on Tinder.
Your best bet would be to connect with girls through a common hobby or interest. That way you already broke the ice and the rest will happen on its own.
There’s one thing you need to be very careful about though. Having a disability, we can easily attract toxic and abusive personalities. They are often hard to spot, because they appear to be be caring and nurturing, but in reality they want to have control over someone they perceive as vulnerable. This can easily happen to men as well, but sadly the media is very biased towards females when it comes to abuse in general. Anyways, get out if your partner is showing the following traits:
- They pride themselves in helping you and constantly brag about it.
- They slowly interfere with your routines, decisions and isolate you from other helpful resources.
- They claim that no one else would be willing to put up with you and that you should be grateful for them to have chosen you.
- They use their dedication to emotionally blackmail or guilt trip you to get whatever they want.
Take care of yourself and best of luck! 😊
- I take very good care of my appearance. I don’t mean tons of makeup and crazy hairstyles, but I eat healthy, do workout, invest in skincare and dress nicely.
- I ask friends for feedback on my behaviour and body language
- I am independent, able to support myself financially, but also have a network of friends who I can ask for help.
- I have some hobbies, for example arts, cooking and photography.
The problem with today’s dating scene is that people are always on the search for a better option. In general, girls hope for finding a wealthier, higher status guy, guys hope for a prettier, younger girl. Of course it won’t apply to everyone, but you won’t find those exceptions so easily in bars or on Tinder.
Your best bet would be to connect with girls through a common hobby or interest. That way you already broke the ice and the rest will happen on its own.
There’s one thing you need to be very careful about though. Having a disability, we can easily attract toxic and abusive personalities. They are often hard to spot, because they appear to be be caring and nurturing, but in reality they want to have control over someone they perceive as vulnerable. This can easily happen to men as well, but sadly the media is very biased towards females when it comes to abuse in general. Anyways, get out if your partner is showing the following traits:
- They pride themselves in helping you and constantly brag about it.
- They slowly interfere with your routines, decisions and isolate you from other helpful resources.
- They claim that no one else would be willing to put up with you and that you should be grateful for them to have chosen you.
- They use their dedication to emotionally blackmail or guilt trip you to get whatever they want.
Take care of yourself and best of luck! 😊
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 2 points 3y ago
This is an excellent post, thanks very much. There's a lot of sense in it. I could certainly do with a few non-work related hobbies.
I suppose the only thing that gets me is that I do get a reasonable number of dates. That leads me to wonder if where I'm messing up is when dating itself and what can be done about that.
Maybe though, I'm just a bit neurotic :)
I suppose the only thing that gets me is that I do get a reasonable number of dates. That leads me to wonder if where I'm messing up is when dating itself and what can be done about that.
Maybe though, I'm just a bit neurotic :)
jrs12 4 points 3y ago
I can't speak as a blind person, but I can speak as a woman. I'm now in a committed and happy relationship, but when I was dating there were a few things that guys would do that would be hard no's for me. For example, if I felt like I was more of an opportunity than a choice. If the guy was asking out every girl he came across, I wouldn't even give him a first date because I didn't feel like he actually liked me. It felt like maybe I was just easy. I don't think that sounds like you, but be aware that some women want to feel as though they were picked and sought after compared to all the other girls out there. That's a hard feeling to convey in online dating.
You mentioned the no kissing. I'm not sure I've ever gone in for the first kiss ever in my life. That puts a lot of pressure on you as the guy. Have you tried a date at home watching a movie or something so that getting your cuddle game on could be easier and a kiss could perhaps be more natural?
Finally, women suck. You have to go on a lot of dates to find a good one. Keep at it. It sounds like you have the right mind set to be with someone you will genuinely enjoy and one day love. Are there any activities you enjoy doing instead of going on a traditional date? Maybe invite a date to hang out with you and your friends and follow up with desert alone later in the evening. Then she can see your true personality and have some examples of how you enjoy interacting with people.. plus it takes some of the pressure off and allows people to just have fun.
You mentioned the no kissing. I'm not sure I've ever gone in for the first kiss ever in my life. That puts a lot of pressure on you as the guy. Have you tried a date at home watching a movie or something so that getting your cuddle game on could be easier and a kiss could perhaps be more natural?
Finally, women suck. You have to go on a lot of dates to find a good one. Keep at it. It sounds like you have the right mind set to be with someone you will genuinely enjoy and one day love. Are there any activities you enjoy doing instead of going on a traditional date? Maybe invite a date to hang out with you and your friends and follow up with desert alone later in the evening. Then she can see your true personality and have some examples of how you enjoy interacting with people.. plus it takes some of the pressure off and allows people to just have fun.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Thanks for that. Some of your suggestions are probably good ones but not for online dating. e.g. you obviously couldn't really invite some random stranger to your house for a first date!
jrs12 1 points 3y ago
Ah. Good point. I have never online dated before, so the rules might be very different. When you do go for the first in person date, where do you normally go and what do you normally do?
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
What you have to keep in mind with online dating is that no matter how much you've talked to the person, no matter how much you think you know them, there is some possibility that they are not who they say they are. They are a stranger and they could in an extreme case be dangerous. So you need to be careful. I always say specifically that I'm blind and perhaps that adds to the risk. I should stress that I've never had any problems at all and even where I've dated someone and it hasn't worked out, I don't think the woman was like a crazy.
However, with that in mind, I'd go for coffee or to the pub or recently, with someone I was really keen on, we ended up doing dinner (her idea).
However, with that in mind, I'd go for coffee or to the pub or recently, with someone I was really keen on, we ended up doing dinner (her idea).
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Talk to the person online, I mean. It's not like you've asked your friend or your friend's friend out. There are some proper crazies online, IMO.
poochbrah 3 points 3y ago
I want to try to disclose my visual impairment on my dating profile. Does anyone have any good ideas or a funny or interesting way to disclose the fact?
So far I've got nothing
So far I've got nothing
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 2 points 3y ago
I say that I'm blind straight out on my profile. Among other things. When I'm texting someone, I always say something like:
"In case you didn't get this from my profile, I'm blind ... giving blind date on this a whole new meaning, I guess ;) Any questions about that, ask away."
Open to suggestions about that, so long as what I'm saying is perfectly clear and straight forward.
"In case you didn't get this from my profile, I'm blind ... giving blind date on this a whole new meaning, I guess ;) Any questions about that, ask away."
Open to suggestions about that, so long as what I'm saying is perfectly clear and straight forward.
ProofAfternoon 1 points 3y ago
13 days late--and this is likely only a marginal improvement--but I think it would be better to leave out the bit after the smiley face. It detracts from the cleverness of your play on blind date, and anyone worth talking to would feel comfortable asking further questions anyway.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 2 points 3y ago
I think though that some people are very unsure about whether it's ok to ask questions about that, from the best of motives. Others are far from unsure.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Haha, I'll consider it.
kateschmee 2 points 3y ago
So my experiences will vary from people you date obviously. However I didn't always feel comfortable with their friends because I was the only not visually impaired person so the driving and navigating for all of them fell to me. Neither of the guys I dated made a lot of money, most of it was from disabilities and I had to pay for gas to visit them and dates and they never offered to pay or come up with cheap things we could do. I didn't make a lot of money either so I couldn't see them often and they didn't like that. The last guy kept going to another girl's house for "sleepovers" in a twin bed. The first guy got really upset because we both have retinopathy of prematurity but I got lucky and can see much better than him. As for what it has to do with you, it depends on how comfortable you are around her and her friends. You may not be comfortable around her friend group if they can see and you can't. Which is understandable. I'm not in your situation but I imagine it would take a lot to feel comfortable dating someone who could see while I couldn't.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Thanks very much, I appreciate that because I think it's a fairly honest and direct post and I can understand some of these issues.
kateschmee 1 points 3y ago
Also they may worry about offending you. When I first started dating visually impaired people I would avoid saying "see you later" and "nice to see you" now that I'm more comfortable, I ask whatever I'm thinking and apologize for having no tact at all. She may not know how to help you or IF you need her help for navigating or when you go out to eat. Like deacribing the plate as a clock, not a lot of people know to do that.
kateschmee 2 points 3y ago
I dated two different men who were blind or visually impaired. There were things that were hard, such as going out to new restaurants or having to drive all the time. But most of the time I enjoyed it, until the guys turned out to be dicks. I met the first one through work and the second one through the first one
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Fair enough. Look, there's a fair chance that my issues are more in my head or to do with my own perceptions/confidence than anywhere else. This in fact is what I'm trying to work out.
kateschmee 3 points 3y ago
Some of it does have to do with you and some of it is that unfortunately, dating people with disabilities is not something everyone can do. Part of the reason why I broke up with those guys is because I realized that I no longer have what it takes to date blind guys. And because they were dicks.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
When you say some of it has to do with me, what have you in mind? What did you find annoying/hard, apart from the obvious - driving, presumably navigating new locations etc.?
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
This is interesting. What do you think it takes to date someone who's blind?
Also v curious about what made those guys dicks in your view but that's far too personal a question!
Obviously only answer if you're comfortable to and thanks for your comments.
Also v curious about what made those guys dicks in your view but that's far too personal a question!
Obviously only answer if you're comfortable to and thanks for your comments.
4247420 1 points 3y ago
I've had different experiences good and bad. I've been told online once blind people shouldn't be dating because we need carers not love. That's probably my worst experience. I've turned up on a date once the lovely girl accepted I was blind and we went on a date to a small theme park. She walked off at some point completely forgetting to guide me and take me with her and we got separated. We both realised and panicked and rang each other to find one another. She was mortified and sadly things never went further than that date. I've dated a couple of girls that had fetishes for blind people. And I didn't mind. They were my best dates. Theh were considerate. Mindful, helpful and all round brilliant.
So had a mix bag. I think my most common experience is just people online thinking I'm a fake yo get attention. Or accusation that blind people cannot do this or that.
So had a mix bag. I think my most common experience is just people online thinking I'm a fake yo get attention. Or accusation that blind people cannot do this or that.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
A fettish for blind people? What do you mean by that?
4247420 1 points 3y ago
There is a group of people that have fetish for blind or disabled people called devotees. They make great relationships for meatless since I get the best care and support. And they get a satisfaction shall we say for me being blind. It's a good arrangement. But beware, not all look for relationships on a romantic level. And some devotees can get a bit scary.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Really? That would make me incredibly uncomfortable, as you describe it! It sounds really exploitative. I'm terribly sorry if I've missed something, I may well have.
4247420 1 points 3y ago
Not all of them are bad. Some will make amazing partners for people with disabilities. I guess it comes down to individuality. And what the arrangements are between each person.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
I've posted a similar thread on the OkCupid sub-reddit, if anyone's interested, I doubt the comments will be so useful but let's see.
anthonybynum11 1 points 3y ago
Where Are people getting these good moments ? I’ve had none but shit ... like girl not having a second date with me cause I pulled my cane out when it was sunny out on day and she said. Uh you use that ? And then being lgbtq and blind ? HOW? Like all the people live near me care for looks and ( pardon my French ) no no stuff ... and if ya don’t deliver that .. byee I had long distance DDLB relationships that also broke me mentally cause again being blind it would hard to get over to them and meet em .. I put the 120 percent to love but I shit on ? ... sorry 😐 just to be very honest you will never get two of the same things happening to ya
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Hi, I'm not sure I fully understand all of that but it certainly sounds like things have been tough for you and I'm really sorry about that. I'm certainly not saying everything's been super for me either.
paris0022 0 points 3y ago
Dating as a GUY that is legally blind or blind is vary difficult. A blind/legally blind woman can get dates from guys much more easily if she’s attractive and friendly. Most sighted guy can overlook the disability.
As for sighted woman, most have a hard time overlooking the disability. They are much more shallow. You can get dates cause they want to give it a try and feel good about themselves or at least they have no idea what they are getting into, but most will just ghosts afterwards. It’s too much for them. They have endless options of guys wanting to date them. So why would she date a blind guy if she could date 20 other guys with no disability?
I’ve seen this example on the Facebook Visually impaired and blind group. It’s always the woman that can find a relationship while the guys tells a different stories. Many tells stories that they ended up in divorce when their vision got worst.
I’m legally blind with some vision, I know I’m above average in looks and take care of myself by going to the gym and having nice clothes on. I also have a very fun personality and my dates goes really well. But they still ghost or don’t put any effort in the second or third date. When I wasn’t “legally blind” I never had a dating or getting into a relationship problem.
Any advice you get from a blind woman, just ignore. They live in a different world with dating.
My advice is just focus on your health, work out, get a clean cut, get nice clothes, and just find a fun hobby and meetup group you can attend. This is where you can meet someone with similar interest. Volunteer work can be good as well.
This is just the reality of dating as a GUY that is blind or visually implanted.
As for sighted woman, most have a hard time overlooking the disability. They are much more shallow. You can get dates cause they want to give it a try and feel good about themselves or at least they have no idea what they are getting into, but most will just ghosts afterwards. It’s too much for them. They have endless options of guys wanting to date them. So why would she date a blind guy if she could date 20 other guys with no disability?
I’ve seen this example on the Facebook Visually impaired and blind group. It’s always the woman that can find a relationship while the guys tells a different stories. Many tells stories that they ended up in divorce when their vision got worst.
I’m legally blind with some vision, I know I’m above average in looks and take care of myself by going to the gym and having nice clothes on. I also have a very fun personality and my dates goes really well. But they still ghost or don’t put any effort in the second or third date. When I wasn’t “legally blind” I never had a dating or getting into a relationship problem.
Any advice you get from a blind woman, just ignore. They live in a different world with dating.
My advice is just focus on your health, work out, get a clean cut, get nice clothes, and just find a fun hobby and meetup group you can attend. This is where you can meet someone with similar interest. Volunteer work can be good as well.
This is just the reality of dating as a GUY that is blind or visually implanted.
torelma 2 points 3y ago
As a gay guy I don't want to invalidate your experience with women but I've found guys to be exactly the same. It's a human thing. I went on a movie date with a cute guy who knew I was VI, it felt like the best date ever and then he ghosted me the second he had what he wanted.
I don't know you, but maybe it's not your blindness that's the issue so much as the pressure it creates that you may be putting on yourself and potentially projecting on them. And beyond that, there's all the run of the mill dating issues that sighted people get that don't stop applying to us.
Truth be told, I've been on both sides of this. A couple years ago I got hit up by a dude on Grindr who told me he was deaf and instead of bonding over it I kind of panicked because I was in denial about my own sight loss, I didn't know how we were going to communicate once we actually met up, and so stopped replying. That was shitty of me, sure, but I want to think I grew from that point and maybe that's where the girls you're texting are.
I don't know you, but maybe it's not your blindness that's the issue so much as the pressure it creates that you may be putting on yourself and potentially projecting on them. And beyond that, there's all the run of the mill dating issues that sighted people get that don't stop applying to us.
Truth be told, I've been on both sides of this. A couple years ago I got hit up by a dude on Grindr who told me he was deaf and instead of bonding over it I kind of panicked because I was in denial about my own sight loss, I didn't know how we were going to communicate once we actually met up, and so stopped replying. That was shitty of me, sure, but I want to think I grew from that point and maybe that's where the girls you're texting are.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 2 points 3y ago
Thanks very much for your thoughts. I have to say that, with exceptions, I have not found the women I've dated shallow. As I said previously, I'm quite selective - I like to chat and see that we've got something in common (and frankly that she's intelligent) first.
That isn't to say the disability was not an issue for them. Equally, I don't think it's right to attribute everything to that. After all, if it was such an issue for them, in principal, why date me at all? For some it probably was.
Equally, I think it's important to consider what other factors are or may be important. After all, I may be able to do something about those, while obviously remaining myself.
That isn't to say the disability was not an issue for them. Equally, I don't think it's right to attribute everything to that. After all, if it was such an issue for them, in principal, why date me at all? For some it probably was.
Equally, I think it's important to consider what other factors are or may be important. After all, I may be able to do something about those, while obviously remaining myself.
paris0022 2 points 3y ago
When I say shallow, I don’t mean that they will treat us mean. I’m just saying I feel that they are shallow because once they realize the scope of our disability, they rather not deal with it. I am not saying all women are like this. Don’t get me wrong. There are some gems out there.
EducationalLocksmith [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Well do you think I should be explaining what blindness involves in further detail before meeting up? If so, what should I be saying?
paris0022 1 points 3y ago
I haven’t figured this out yet as well. What I noticed is that if I say I don’t have the best vision to keep it vague. Once I meet them, they figure it out and I am ghosted after the date.
She will be “nice and understanding” during the date. Then it’s ghosts or I will get a message like “I had a lot of fun and you are a great guy, but I don’t think we are a compatible match.”
I started to put I am legally blind in the dating site, and I get fewer matches and the matches I get are girls that I’m not attractive to, such as overweight woman, or older woman that look rough. I have my realistic standards that I’m looking for as well. But being legally blind, sometimes you have to lower your standards. I get it, it’s not the looks, it the personally, but still. You want both.
So now. I’m just going with the flow. I don’t expect much when dating and don’t care what the outcome is. I don’t waste my time to go out of my way for a date anymore. I prefer to date people that live locally and maybe meet for drinks or coffee.
She will be “nice and understanding” during the date. Then it’s ghosts or I will get a message like “I had a lot of fun and you are a great guy, but I don’t think we are a compatible match.”
I started to put I am legally blind in the dating site, and I get fewer matches and the matches I get are girls that I’m not attractive to, such as overweight woman, or older woman that look rough. I have my realistic standards that I’m looking for as well. But being legally blind, sometimes you have to lower your standards. I get it, it’s not the looks, it the personally, but still. You want both.
So now. I’m just going with the flow. I don’t expect much when dating and don’t care what the outcome is. I don’t waste my time to go out of my way for a date anymore. I prefer to date people that live locally and maybe meet for drinks or coffee.
lepton -1 points 3y ago
Completely agree. Visual impaired guy myself though on the sighted end of the spectrum. Women want men with good jobs, houses or condos, and cars. Visual impairment keeps you from procuring these things. Plus there is this whole world of eye contact that you often can't participate in.
Plus online dating is just like trying to get a job online. Just like employers have their pick when 150 people spam them resumes for each job, women have their pick of men with online dating. Part of it is simply a lot of the men on the sites (like myself) don't really have social skills or the social capital to cultivate dating relationships from in person social groups.
I think even perfectly normal men have it bad with dating but disability definitely makes things a lot worse. I'm 39 and never had a girlfriend. I can't blame it all on my disability (though its fallout, keeping me from getting a decent job due to prejudice isn't helping). I do think some people get lucky and a friendship blossoms into something more but that never happened with me.
Plus online dating is just like trying to get a job online. Just like employers have their pick when 150 people spam them resumes for each job, women have their pick of men with online dating. Part of it is simply a lot of the men on the sites (like myself) don't really have social skills or the social capital to cultivate dating relationships from in person social groups.
I think even perfectly normal men have it bad with dating but disability definitely makes things a lot worse. I'm 39 and never had a girlfriend. I can't blame it all on my disability (though its fallout, keeping me from getting a decent job due to prejudice isn't helping). I do think some people get lucky and a friendship blossoms into something more but that never happened with me.
paris0022 1 points 3y ago
You couldn’t have said it any better brother. That’s some red pill truth there. You need to have a nice place to live, make good money, and able to drive. Plus like you said, they are spammed with tons of matches on dating sites.
When I gave up driving, my dating prospects when way down to almost zero. I have some dates here and there. But once they learn that I can’t see well, they are gone. So now I’m upfront about on dating sites. And now I get few to zero dating matches.
Am I mad about it? No, it just sucks and that’s the way it is. But after being in many long term relationship, being single, I been stress free.
But I do realize the challenges the challenges that disable men have when dating.
A cute blind or visually impaired woman rarely have dating challenges that I noticed.
When I gave up driving, my dating prospects when way down to almost zero. I have some dates here and there. But once they learn that I can’t see well, they are gone. So now I’m upfront about on dating sites. And now I get few to zero dating matches.
Am I mad about it? No, it just sucks and that’s the way it is. But after being in many long term relationship, being single, I been stress free.
But I do realize the challenges the challenges that disable men have when dating.
A cute blind or visually impaired woman rarely have dating challenges that I noticed.
[deleted] 4 points 3y ago
[deleted]
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