Assume that he knows how to do things. He made it to the date without your help after all. If he does seem like he's struggling with something, phrase your offers like "would it help if I [blank]?" As with the perfume, that's down to each individual. It's a good thing to ask him, but maybe don't include his disability in your question. Something like "I like to wear perfume, but some people don't react well to it. What's your take?" Definitely don't offer to let him touch your face. That's only from bad movies. Have fun!

I (31F, sighted) work with a few guys who are blind or have low vision. Typically when I meet someone new who has a vision impairment I say something along the lines of, “I’m not sure if you want or need any help with anything, but I’m more than willing to do whatever you need if you’ll let me know.” Then treat them no differently than you would any other person unless they ask for help.

I’ve always felt like this was the least awkward and most respectful way of approaching the situation, most people just say thank you and ask if they need something.

Ahh.... a real blind date. Or a blind blind date?

1. Wearing perfume is generally good. Sighted or blind, it's nice to smell good.

2. Let him guide you on the assistance for doors or arms. This is one I fret about as a guy. I was always raised to open doors and let the lady go first. Since my wife can barely see, she always prefers I open and head in first so I can guide the way. To outsiders I look like a dick.

3. Don't offer face touches unless he asks. He can't see, so just tell him you're gorgeous. I tell my wife how handsome I am every day (I lie). The point is they don't know. What they do care about is your personality and how you connect.

4. Be yourself. Have fun. I married a blind woman. The only thing different than any other relationship is that she can't drive, I have to read the menu for her, and movies aren't that fun for her.

I'd honestly just ask him about some of this, like the perfume and guiding him. I, personally, have very little sense of smell, so perfume's not a huge deal to me if it's tasteful.

Guiding can be good for some people, but others might be bothered by the implication.

Blind people don't really feel faces, that's more of a hollywood thing. If I touch a face, it's while making out or something like that. Not just to see what a cutie someone is on a first date.

Honestly, my biggest advice is to relax, take a deep breath, put your shoulders back, sit up straight, and tell yourself it'll all be fine.

> Should I offer to hold his arm

Offer your arm for them to hold. You already have an advantage in the power dynamic. When the person being led holds your arm they are in control of holding on and can quickly change their grip if they perceive a problem. All offers of help should be made with humility.

Offer to read menus but don't be surprised if they want to use a hand magnifier or their phone to read the menu. They might appear to struggle but independence and self determination are more important.

Similarly, you can offer to describe the venue around you. They might not be interested but if they are it can bring up lots of conversation starters. If things aren't interesting enough I might just make stuff up in an obvious way, "... and she's clearly a spy trying to seduce that poor guy into revealing the next big thing from Apple and him over there with the fedora and neck beard, I think he's a redditor from r/blind checking up on our date ..."

NO FACE TOUCHING. Absolutely not on dates or in public. Your face will be covered in icky makeup and they will embarrass themselves by smearing your lipstick. Asking might even come across as it being a kink of yours. Not bad, just too soon. If they reach to touch your face or anywhere else make sure they know they have or don't have your permission. Remember blind people can be wazzocks just as much as everyone else.

> I want him to know I am a cutie but how can I show this?

Focus on personality and interests you might share. Demonstrate you ability to interact with them like they are any other adult just with some part of the world out of sight.

If all goes well you'll be old, grey and wrinkled together before you know it. Do describe yourself but avoid sounding vain.

I have to be honest, the face feeling thing is cringey. It's not like you can really tell much anyway, unless the person has two noses or something awesome like that.

My advice would be not to do anything other than exactly what you would normally do. If you normally wear perfume, wear perfume, nobody cares. If you want to guide him, if he needs guiding, the way it almost always works is that he takes your arm, not the other way around.

My strong advice would be that early on soon after you meet, if he doesn't bring it up, just say something like, I don't know, you're not that used to being around people with sight issues, if he needs you to do anything ask, otherwise you'll assume he's cool. Then never mention it again. Or even just don't say anything. If it's obvious you'll need to guide him the best phrase is just a casual "d'you want to grab an arm here?"

Bear in mind this is new to you, it's not new to him, meeting new people is not new to him, even if you say something that later makes you cringe you will not be the first person ever to have said that. The likelihood of you seriously pissing him off by saying the wrong thing is very very low frankly because you are unlikely to come up anything he hasn't heard a thousand times. Trying to make new people relax is something that I like to think I'm good at!

I grew up with 2 blind parents. My dad was born blind and my mom lost her vision shortly before I was born. My dad also worked with a lot of blind people. I’m basically perfect sighted except for a slight astigmatism in one eye. Basically, I let the blind person take the lead or make any requests. If I see them struggle with something, I ask if they need help. Just use common sense like with anyone else.

Man. The face touching thing is one of those weird blind misconception things. I think I had two women back when I was single ask me if I wanted to feel their face. Um, yeah… thanks, but I’ll pass. Something like that is such an intimate gesture and probably best for partners sighted or blind. All I’m saying is maybe pump the breaks on that. Everyone’s different, but I know I felt a little creeped out by the offer and who knows, maybe I I hurt their feelings when I declined. I mean, how do you tactfully turn down an offer like that?

Honestly, he’s probably more nervous than you, so it should be a cute first date. Wish it wasn’t inappropriate to film it because I would like to watch it

My man loves my perfume. Don't wear too much, as it can be an assault on the sense otherwise. I wear Marc Jacobs Daisy Eau de Fresh and my totally blind SO loves it.

One of the reasons I love my guy is that the physical aspect of things... The way people can get shallow about appearances, just doesn't happen with him. He knew what I looked like before he lost his vision though, so he knows what I look like... But there are some times when I wish he could see how well I've aged. So I kinda get what you mean, but the bottom line is, VI or blind people can tell if you're cute or not based on other things. Your personality, your nature, and how good your heart is. With that said, I do try to do things that might alert and/or stimulate his other senses, like the perfume thing, wearing lotion to make my skin feel smooth, and I like to wear heels around him so he can hear me walking around and can envision where I am and hear me coming. I also don't skip things like makeup or anything like that just because he can't see me. I want to look nice for him even if he can't see me.

You remind me of me, actually. I was just recently asking these questions and my blind boyfriend and I have been together since mid-December. No stupid questions. Better to ask and know how people like him feel about it than come across as ignorant.

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how normal it can be, and the fact that there are actually aspects which, at least in my experience, are even better than being with a sighted person. Good luck on your date, sweetie. 😊❤️

He's made it 22 years and is still kickin, ask him these questions. perfume should be apparent but never over powering even for nonblind people

My man swipped right to all gals, you responded to him