Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Hello. I'm new to the sub. (self.Blind)
submitted by unfrostedcupcake
Hello. I decided to be brave here and share my story, hoping I could find people to relate to. So some background information, I was born a preemie and blind in my left eye since birth. I also have esotropia, where it is constantly turned inward. It is also smaller than the right eye.
I developed a cataract in that eye when I was in my early 20s, followed by glaucoma.
Thankfully I have really good doctors who are treating the glaucoma.
I have been insecure and self-conscious since I was a kid, and bullied pretty much through school.
When I was 13 I fell down a hill and later was playing around with my neighbors throwing stuffed animals at each other and I suddenly lost vision in the right eye. Thankfully I was able to get that treated and I was only a kid at the time. But it was pretty scary when something happened to my good eye.
Anyway, I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. I know my situation is unique as I have multiple things going on in my eye.
I have retinopathy of prematurity. The retinas are attached in both eyes. It was the optic nerve that didn't fully develop. It's been 31 years now, and there is no chance of my vision being restored. And the doctors say it's too risky to remove the cataract even.
So I'm looking into other options.
Meanwhile, it has been a lifelong journey to accept myself as I am. I am still learning to accept and love myself as I am. I wish nothing more sometimes, that I can just have two symmetrical eyes, like most people.
Thank you all for listening. Here's me by the way:
https://imgur.com/a/bVG27HZ
I developed a cataract in that eye when I was in my early 20s, followed by glaucoma.
Thankfully I have really good doctors who are treating the glaucoma.
I have been insecure and self-conscious since I was a kid, and bullied pretty much through school.
When I was 13 I fell down a hill and later was playing around with my neighbors throwing stuffed animals at each other and I suddenly lost vision in the right eye. Thankfully I was able to get that treated and I was only a kid at the time. But it was pretty scary when something happened to my good eye.
Anyway, I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. I know my situation is unique as I have multiple things going on in my eye.
I have retinopathy of prematurity. The retinas are attached in both eyes. It was the optic nerve that didn't fully develop. It's been 31 years now, and there is no chance of my vision being restored. And the doctors say it's too risky to remove the cataract even.
So I'm looking into other options.
Meanwhile, it has been a lifelong journey to accept myself as I am. I am still learning to accept and love myself as I am. I wish nothing more sometimes, that I can just have two symmetrical eyes, like most people.
Thank you all for listening. Here's me by the way:
https://imgur.com/a/bVG27HZ
scottiesplace 6 points 3y ago
Welcome. Nice cat you have. This place can be amazing, I hope you can find what you need from here.
[deleted] 2 points 3y ago
Thank you!
bscross32 5 points 3y ago
I am 34 now, and it took me hitting 30 to realize certain things about the way I was perceiving myself and my outward interactions wasn't the most healthy. I'm trying to change but it's not always easy. I think there is no timeline for this kind of thing, and that we experience life at our own pace.
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Insecurities are the worst, because they act as a filter that distorts our perceptions. They also color the way we interact with people. Weight is a common one, so let's say we have someone who is perfectly proportionate in height and weight; however, they think they're either too skinny, or too fat. A hundred people or more could tell them that they're not, but they wont' believe them, because they can't. Their own mental image of themselves has distorted to the point that what they see is not what everyone else does.
​
It's not just about body image issues either. Thinking you're not good enough for your partner is another good one, and all the things that come together to form that opinion may not even be tangible to us. All of us have insecurities or at least, have had them at one point or another; I firmly believe that. So, when you throw a disability into the mix, things get worse.
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Now you have a bunch of people saying what we should and shouldn't be doing, telling us that we can't do this thing because of <ridiculous reason>, and it cranks up the intensity of how we're feeling about ourselves. Take someone who has self esteem and / or low confidence, and it's a recipe to make them feel defeated.
​
So for all of that, just know that you're not alone in feeling this way, and try to not let it become too much of a factor in your life. You deserve to be here, and to reach for the stars and seek out your own happiness just as much as everyone else. So, while there may be times of frustration, and times where life gets you down, always try to bounce back from it and realize that you are unique and one of a kind, and that you have people in your life that are lucky to have you.
​
Insecurities are the worst, because they act as a filter that distorts our perceptions. They also color the way we interact with people. Weight is a common one, so let's say we have someone who is perfectly proportionate in height and weight; however, they think they're either too skinny, or too fat. A hundred people or more could tell them that they're not, but they wont' believe them, because they can't. Their own mental image of themselves has distorted to the point that what they see is not what everyone else does.
​
It's not just about body image issues either. Thinking you're not good enough for your partner is another good one, and all the things that come together to form that opinion may not even be tangible to us. All of us have insecurities or at least, have had them at one point or another; I firmly believe that. So, when you throw a disability into the mix, things get worse.
​
Now you have a bunch of people saying what we should and shouldn't be doing, telling us that we can't do this thing because of <ridiculous reason>, and it cranks up the intensity of how we're feeling about ourselves. Take someone who has self esteem and / or low confidence, and it's a recipe to make them feel defeated.
​
So for all of that, just know that you're not alone in feeling this way, and try to not let it become too much of a factor in your life. You deserve to be here, and to reach for the stars and seek out your own happiness just as much as everyone else. So, while there may be times of frustration, and times where life gets you down, always try to bounce back from it and realize that you are unique and one of a kind, and that you have people in your life that are lucky to have you.
popcornlegend 3 points 3y ago
You're so pretty! You remind me of Liv Tyler.
[deleted] 1 points 3y ago
Thank you!! That's so sweet
goldstarling 3 points 3y ago
Sorry if this isn't appropriate, but your freckles and hair are gorgeous 😊
[deleted] 2 points 3y ago
Thank you! That means a lot 🙂
Unknown_990 2 points 3y ago
I once had eyes like yours, well the left one was lazy, it was fixed ( family claimed it is fixed and i do remember having a big operation. They literally took my eyeball out of its socket as i was sitting up i the chair, i remember crying like hell ( someone can correct me but i dont think thry knock you out for some cases, & im pretty sure my mom said they didnt put me under, which wouod explain my crying like im being nurdered. Anyways, its obviously still off centre!, i can feel it, i can clearly see it! The muscles dont feel as strong, i dont even use my one eye, believe it or not but i only fully look at things thru one eye, notmatte rhow much i try i cannot use the other eye properly. Anyways my parents dont see it, they claim its fixed, so whatever..
Btw i was born in 1985, 4 and a half month premature . I hardly come across another micro preemie, but its amazing when i do. I notice we all have similar characteristics, as far as looks go.
Btw i was born in 1985, 4 and a half month premature . I hardly come across another micro preemie, but its amazing when i do. I notice we all have similar characteristics, as far as looks go.
[deleted] 1 points 3y ago
Yeah idk what I was but I think I was born at 23 weeks. Like 3 and half months. I weighed 1lb 9 oz
Unknown_990 1 points 3y ago
We pretty much have the same numbers, well the ounces part doesnt even matter, we were basically both a pound of butter! lol, amazing. We are truly the miracle babies.. not that i even believe in that kind of thing really tho! ( I'm Atheist).. but... it is spretty amazing that we survived with the survival rates that we ussually have. I had a 5 percent chance of living, and you likely did too, you babygirl ☺. lol
[deleted] 1 points 3y ago
Aww. Thanks for the compliment. And I'm so self conscious about it lol
Unknown_990 1 points 3y ago
LOL i must had edited out the compliment lol sorry, was trying to fix up my messages, they tend to be riddled with typos and other things.
Unknown_990 2 points 3y ago
Omfg, ok this might be weird... but i find you so adorable..
Alana200598 2 points 3y ago
I am SO jealous of your hair! Woah
[deleted] 1 points 3y ago
Really? Thank you! I don't like it, it's so thin haha😄
Alana200598 1 points 3y ago
As a 21 yo girl i’m thinking about doing a trump bc my hair is so thin.
I have a low hair count AND thin hair so i always have these spots of skin visible when my hair is together
Your hair has some volume and it’s something i really wish i had (i have sleek hair that makes my ears look huge bc they peek through)
I have a low hair count AND thin hair so i always have these spots of skin visible when my hair is together
Your hair has some volume and it’s something i really wish i had (i have sleek hair that makes my ears look huge bc they peek through)
[deleted] 1 points 3y ago
My hair curls if I take good care of it. If I just let it be it gets greasy and flat which sucks. Yeah you'd be surprised how thin my hair has gotten. It could be changes in hormones from birth control. But maybe that's a myth. Not sure. Yeah my hair doesn't hold well to products anymore. It gets wavy for like half a day then falls flat. Or it gets massively tangled and I lose hair trying to untangle it.
guitarandbooks 1 points 3y ago
Welcome to the sub!
I'm totally blind so can't get anything from your pic but thanks for the back story.
After losing my sight, I often felt that people were watching me and mentally judging me. I don't feel that way so much anymore but it can certainly be stressful!
I'm totally blind so can't get anything from your pic but thanks for the back story.
After losing my sight, I often felt that people were watching me and mentally judging me. I don't feel that way so much anymore but it can certainly be stressful!
ginsenshi 1 points 3y ago
I was born 3 months premature with Rop stage 5 in the right eye , with only light for most of my life, removed in 2010 from glaucoma .
had stage 4 rop in the left eye, 20/200 vision for most of my life around 2011 to 2013 I didn't do my glaucoma drops in the left eye, when my  pressure was in the high 30 to 40 and had glaucoma surgery to lower the  pressure.
started   cataracts in 2015, which my doctor said was to  risky to remove.
my left eye is down to lights, shadows, shapes and movement .
so all this to say your not alone  
had stage 4 rop in the left eye, 20/200 vision for most of my life around 2011 to 2013 I didn't do my glaucoma drops in the left eye, when my  pressure was in the high 30 to 40 and had glaucoma surgery to lower the  pressure.
started   cataracts in 2015, which my doctor said was to  risky to remove.
my left eye is down to lights, shadows, shapes and movement .
so all this to say your not alone  
[deleted] 1 points 3y ago
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