Haha, I'm so sorry. You've raised a very valid point and boy do I want to give you some sage advice but I lost it at the "tight pants" suggestion. Maybe that's been the answer all along?

I'm sighted and have a job working with tech for the visually impaired. For me, blindness is just a thing and doesn't really affect how I measure people up. Vision is a physical attribute like all others and shouldn't be something that changes how people feel about you as a person.

However, if life and a million angsty teenage romance books taught me anything, it's that humans naturally associate new people with their most obvious trait. He's the bald guy, she's the one with huge boobs or the big scar on her face.
When you meet people on dating apps, they only really know you by all your shallow, surface level stuff. They don't know your guts, just your blindness and whatever else you mentioned.

I haven't figured out how adults make friends yet, but I think a good practise in general would be to maybe try finding people you get along with and work through that part where you're "the guy with RP" in their head. It sucks, but we all have to work through the shitty outside layers first. Send me a DM if you want to talk to a fellow human about human stuff and I won't even ask you how you wipe your ass.

As someone who’s legally blind and used dating apps before I met my partner, I made it blatantly obvious I had reduced vision. Having my cane in the first photo just in case some people just didn’t look through my profile. It either was received really well or wasn’t, I’d get matched just for people to ask me questions, I’d get fetishised, I’d get a lot of really rude remarks as well.

Sighted people are usually really funny with these things, some are too scared to ask about it too. I’m not sure if given your age and your dating pool being people that are a bit older than how old I am (I’m currently 20) and were raised with a more inherently ableist mindset or not, then it’d be more difficult. but the more you beat yourself up about not being able to find that person, the more it taints your experiences with new people or just squashes whatever patience you’d usually have.

As someone who found a partner using dating apps and was having a really hard time before I met him, I wish you luck in finding a partner that loves and accepts you for who you are, vision loss and all :)

When I was dating I would just lay it out there. This was back before apps, I met my wife in 09, but I used dating sites and before that Yahoo chat. Yes there were people who were uncomfortable, one even told me she was going to the restroom and left me at a restaurant before we got our table, but I had a date regularly though after your earlier comment maybe my wranglers helped with that.

On the dating sites when I would contact someone I would write a fairly long message to introduce myself. Later in the message after I mentioned what I liked about their profile and some about myself I would then mention that I was blind. I would usually make a joke about it to put them at ease and because I joke about everything. For example I told my wife that I hold the world record for being hit by the most parked cars. Finally I would explain how a screen reader works.

One thing to think about though. Most of the questions you mentioned are pretty rediculous but as far as why you care what they look like it’s hard for people to imagine. Take the time to explain that you used to be able to see, you can feel, and you like to picture who you’re talking to in your head. It will put her at ease and get you a description.

I'm a 30 year old guy and i moved back with my family about a year ago because of my vision. I will have surgery sometime this year and I hope it fixes my vision. the fact that I'm living with my family now makes me really self conscious about dating, insecure and sometimes depressed. I relate with some of the things you mentioned, i cant perceive if someone is looking at me or how someone looks without really putting pressure on my eyes. I don't really have anything to add to this but just to say that i can relate to a lot of the things you mentioned. Hope everything turns out well for you,

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's not the fact that you're blind per se, but the other factors/ things you have going for you ATM. The dating subreddits are full of women having seconds thoughts when they meet someone and he's living at home because of x and men over 30 who live at home for one reason or another and feel exactly like you describe above (sans the blindness).

It sucks, yes. Rationally, it's understandable why you'd be living with family and on SSDI, but unfortunately in your case, it just confirms everyone's bias about the blind: helpless & all (what you described). It's like they almost expect you to be living with family members and all around not be independent.

So your choices now are to suck it up and lay it out there in the most factual way possible and hope someone understands or start working towards being more independent again (but I assume this is tied with school so not much of a choice). As life has the usual tendency not to wait, you can just keep trying dating apps.

Maybe it’s time to switch over to the dark side?

Oh my gosh I totally understand what you're saying but I was lucky enough to find a partner who was willing to stick with me through a lot of surgery and medication and soon mobility aids.

The best way to go about it is if you're invested in the relationship or possibility of one with a girl, be open about it. Sighted girls especially are TERRIFIED of asking questions. They arent afraid of you but just how to interact with something they havent encountered before.

My partner had ALOT of questions and concerns, and it was hard for him to adjust to the different ways I do things. Like the way we watch movies or are in public.
The only way I could help him come with me on the journey was being honest about how I was feeling, and integrating him into the community as best I could. I talked to him about blind issues and accessibility problems, I taught him how my condition affects my eyesight. Etc.

It was definitely hard and I expect it always will be when I love a sighted person.

They are from a different world and trying to bring them into yours is a lot of work. You need to be prepared to get left behind by some who dont think it's worth it, I know I was and it still always did a lot of damage on me.

Try setting boundaries with girls who ask inappropriate questions and show them how to phrase it respectfully, it's not fair that you have to treat others like children but a lot of the time it's the only way you're going to be able to communicate with them. Take it slowly, and make sure they dont have room to doubt your capabilities.

You ARE worth love. You DESERVE a partner who stays by your side regardless of your sight. You are a man and no less of one because of your sight.

You can do this, it's hard and lonely okay I know but if you keep searching while making yourself the first priority then there is no shame in struggling.

The bottom line is if a girl cant get past your disability then she doesnt deserve to know you anyway.

I hope things work out for you.

I was born blind and damn you’ve hit on lodes of points for me.

Blind people manage to find people but I can’t at the moment.

I don’t go out much but even when I do, it’s so hard to find people to chat to.
And when I am spoken to it’s to ask if I want help.

Maybe in the future I’ll find someone but at the moment that seams impossible.

The over 30 part is tough. From what I hear from my guy friends, dating sucks the second you’re out of college. I have a particularly good friend who can’t seem to find a girl no matter how hard he tries. Like you mentioned, he did all the dating sites and spending tons of money on dates that never really led to anything deeper. Over the years I think I’ve discovered that he does better with girls when he brings them out on dates with his friends in a low key setting first. He can be very formal at times, but also wild and crazy at other times. I feel like a date getting to see how he acts with his friends is what broke down barriers fastest. He’s now dating a girl who lives like six states away and they are both using all their vacation time from work to go see each other, but it seems like this might be the one. It’s certainly not an easy road to date unconventionally, but I feel like the faster you can break through the typical date expectations and move on to who you really are, the faster you can sort through the duds and find the girls worth being with.

Wait.. do you care what girls look like? I can understand a fit body cause you can feel that but do you care what her face looks like to others?

You will find the right woman and she will love and accept you as you are. If she can't, then she isn't the one. Don't be discouraged and don't give up

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I'm only visual impaired enough not to drive but due to bipolar 1 live at home and am on disability and I have the same issues as you. I'm 40 and have never had a girlfriend. I will say that in online dating you are getting the worst of the worst, people raised on this have come to the Redpill conclusions like all the women are only going after the top 20% of men. Women you meet organically are generally better but I understand you are limited in what you can do.

I would recommend reaching out to organizations that place blind people in jobs because my experience being visually impaired enough to have really thick glasses has shown me that I am dead on arrival for employers. Vocation is a load bearing post on a man's psyche, if you can managedto get a decent job and a place then I think dating will come within reach.