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UPDATE: My (female) first encounter with a blind person (self.Blind)
submitted by fatgranolabar
Link to original post: $1
Hi everyone. I am unsure if i should have left a comment on my previous post or post a new update. So here's it.
I spoke to one of the in-charge from his school and she thanked me for not reporting him to the police i supposed and not spreading it around. She told me that if it leaves a record, it could affect his future as he is graduating soon.
The following day, I had another phone call with the teacher on updates on this matter. I told her i had a feeling that this is not his first time committing this offence and she questioned if i found out about this from elsewhere. She admitted to me that he had previous offences from a long time ago and they thought he had changed. I was quite shocked when she asked me if i found out about this elsewhere.
Then, the relevant figures from the school went to his house together with the counsellor to question him about what happened. They did not tell him directly about the incident but asked if he did anything wrong recently. At the start, he was in denial and said he could not remember anything. After his teacher told him my version of the story, he started admitting his actions and how he had bad intentions. They told him his actions were wrong and you can guess the rest... They have suspended him from going to school for now and will counsel him on this matter.
I asked to speak to the guy again and his parents. He apologised to me for his wrongdoings but I was still livid as I am sure he will do this again. It seems like he isn’t very intelligent when I questioned him why did he repeat this offence if he was previously lectured about it. I asked if he would remember this incident forever and he said no quickly. When i conversed with him the previous day, he had some issues understanding a few English words such as “exposed”. Therefore, he might not have understood what i was questioning him about and replied me for the sake of replying.
I also asked to speak to his mother since his son could not quite understand what i was asking for. His mother was extremely remorseful and sad for what happened. If it matters, he has a lot of siblings (close to 10). I guessed that it has been tough on his mother to care for and educate all of them and even a son with special needs.
I also found out from his mother that she was actually there at the bus waiting area to pick him up. This shocked me as i offered to send the guy all the way to wait for his bus but he quickly denied and was very adamant that he did not need my help. This showed me how he’s actually scheming and calculated on how he did not want me to bump into his mother.
Before the entire phone call, i was quite certain on reporting this matter to the police as i found out this is not the first time he has done it. But seeing how heartbroken his teacher and mother was, i questioned if what i was doing would be good based on the situation of his family. Besides that, i also wondered if the police can do much about this situation as this incident is in a grey area. Coupled with the fact that he is blind and placed in “special needs” class. I doubt the authorities can do much about it.
As i frequent the route taken with the guy to go back home, i actually felt quite scared to walk the same route and revisit the same places. Thankfully my friends were here today to accompany me back home.
Even though he did not directly grope me, it was the fact that we were so close, practically sticking next to each other for the entire 40mins that made me feel so uncomfortable about the entire situation. Even though the school claimed he has special needs, i am horrified by how smart he was by manipulating me with his words, slowly trying to gain my trust by saying how nobody wanted to help him and shoving tips to me and all the other stuff.
Please advice me on what I should do next.
Hi everyone. I am unsure if i should have left a comment on my previous post or post a new update. So here's it.
I spoke to one of the in-charge from his school and she thanked me for not reporting him to the police i supposed and not spreading it around. She told me that if it leaves a record, it could affect his future as he is graduating soon.
The following day, I had another phone call with the teacher on updates on this matter. I told her i had a feeling that this is not his first time committing this offence and she questioned if i found out about this from elsewhere. She admitted to me that he had previous offences from a long time ago and they thought he had changed. I was quite shocked when she asked me if i found out about this elsewhere.
Then, the relevant figures from the school went to his house together with the counsellor to question him about what happened. They did not tell him directly about the incident but asked if he did anything wrong recently. At the start, he was in denial and said he could not remember anything. After his teacher told him my version of the story, he started admitting his actions and how he had bad intentions. They told him his actions were wrong and you can guess the rest... They have suspended him from going to school for now and will counsel him on this matter.
I asked to speak to the guy again and his parents. He apologised to me for his wrongdoings but I was still livid as I am sure he will do this again. It seems like he isn’t very intelligent when I questioned him why did he repeat this offence if he was previously lectured about it. I asked if he would remember this incident forever and he said no quickly. When i conversed with him the previous day, he had some issues understanding a few English words such as “exposed”. Therefore, he might not have understood what i was questioning him about and replied me for the sake of replying.
I also asked to speak to his mother since his son could not quite understand what i was asking for. His mother was extremely remorseful and sad for what happened. If it matters, he has a lot of siblings (close to 10). I guessed that it has been tough on his mother to care for and educate all of them and even a son with special needs.
I also found out from his mother that she was actually there at the bus waiting area to pick him up. This shocked me as i offered to send the guy all the way to wait for his bus but he quickly denied and was very adamant that he did not need my help. This showed me how he’s actually scheming and calculated on how he did not want me to bump into his mother.
Before the entire phone call, i was quite certain on reporting this matter to the police as i found out this is not the first time he has done it. But seeing how heartbroken his teacher and mother was, i questioned if what i was doing would be good based on the situation of his family. Besides that, i also wondered if the police can do much about this situation as this incident is in a grey area. Coupled with the fact that he is blind and placed in “special needs” class. I doubt the authorities can do much about it.
As i frequent the route taken with the guy to go back home, i actually felt quite scared to walk the same route and revisit the same places. Thankfully my friends were here today to accompany me back home.
Even though he did not directly grope me, it was the fact that we were so close, practically sticking next to each other for the entire 40mins that made me feel so uncomfortable about the entire situation. Even though the school claimed he has special needs, i am horrified by how smart he was by manipulating me with his words, slowly trying to gain my trust by saying how nobody wanted to help him and shoving tips to me and all the other stuff.
Please advice me on what I should do next.
[deleted] 25 points 3y ago
FIrstly, do not allow others to tell you whether or not to inform the authorities. At minimum, there will be a report filed, which could be very useful if he ever offends again, or potentially does worse some day. If you feel like filing a report, please do so. You may be saving someone from future manipulation and hurt.
Secondly, as a visually impaired individual myself, please do not allow this pervert’s actions to shape how you view disabled people in general. There are bad apples in every bunch. And unfortunately, anyone with a lot of time on their hands can think of disgusting ways of using others and getting their kicks.
I’m very proud of you for following up and speaking up. You are very likely helping to prevent someone from being hurt at some point, as well as bringing awareness to the situation with this person in particular.
Lastly, I’m sorry this happened to you. THank you for sharing your update with us.
I would encourage you to file a report, but the decision is yours. You’ll likely never know how it might help another individual.
Secondly, as a visually impaired individual myself, please do not allow this pervert’s actions to shape how you view disabled people in general. There are bad apples in every bunch. And unfortunately, anyone with a lot of time on their hands can think of disgusting ways of using others and getting their kicks.
I’m very proud of you for following up and speaking up. You are very likely helping to prevent someone from being hurt at some point, as well as bringing awareness to the situation with this person in particular.
Lastly, I’m sorry this happened to you. THank you for sharing your update with us.
I would encourage you to file a report, but the decision is yours. You’ll likely never know how it might help another individual.
80percentaccurate 10 points 3y ago
It’s possible that he may have some type of intellectual disability as well if the school and his family are making excuses for him. I would still report to police because the next time he does it may be to someone more naïve than you who may get hurt worse than just feeling violated and spooked. You may not decide to press charges, but having a record of his actions filed with police is important. If he’s been warned before he’s not going to stop, and trying to lure you to the bathroom is predator behavior.
FrankenGretchen 3 points 3y ago
It's possible but just as likely they know about his behavior and add that embellishment to get around accountability. Him having a marked record is such a horror! People would know what he's capable of and avoid him or scrutinize his behavior more closely pr maybe place limits on access to his preferred prey. They might even look at his family and see if he is (or other family members are) harming his siblings, etc. That's my attempt at sarcastic pearl clutching, btw. With or without intellectual disabilities, I've seen blind folks manipulate their way out of behavior that would otherwise get a person rightly jailed. I've seen family and schools and even church congregations shield perpetrators in order to preserve their reputations. Meanwhile, the perp is enjoying every second of permission they've given them. Playing the system is a side thrill for most transgressors.
80percentaccurate 2 points 3y ago
Oh I totally agree. There shouldn’t be any excuses for this behavior. I think some may think a certain ‘level’ of disability excuses it, but I’m not in that camp.
Prefect316 6 points 3y ago
File a report. His family standing up for his actions are not helping him like they think they are. File that report and save future people in your situation from going through this, or possibly worse.
TK_Sleepytime 5 points 3y ago
Report him. I'm legally blind and autistic but I would never do that to someone. He is intentionally manipulative and it will happen again. Reporting him now isn't just for you, it increases the chances that his behavior will be directly dealt with (not just excused) and he may be directed to appropriate rehabilitation services if another person reports him - which he won't be able to talk his way out of.
andyman1994 3 points 3y ago
Is it possible that some blind people just don't know how to interact appropriately because they have witnessed and personally experienced much less social interaction? I feel really bad for anyone who thinks this is an appropriate way to act.
Superfreq2 2 points 3y ago
Nah I don't think that's what this is here at all. I know exactly what your talking about, but given that he showed with other comments/actions that he understood what he was doing was wrong, possibly manipulated her into thinking he was more helpless than he was EtC...
It's just not something where I could reasonably say he was incapable of understanding what he was doing.
It's just not something where I could reasonably say he was incapable of understanding what he was doing.
bscross32 3 points 3y ago
I wouldn't let anyone tell you whether or not you should file a report. While he may have some type of learning disability, the fact that he was out independently means that he has a certain level of intelligence. You can only go based on your observations, because of not knowing what his special needs are, but he manipulated you, and even if he doesn't have the best vocabulary, he still seems to know what he's done.
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My advice is to file a report, but only if you're comfortable doing so. Even if they don't do anything, the report will still be on file and that can be used in case of further incidents with other people.
​
Also, just to reiterate what I said in my comment in your first post, don't let your guard down just because someone is disabled. We do things differently, but it doesn't mean we can't do them at all. I could go out and get in a fight, attack a woman, sexually assault her and so on. Of course, i won't do that because I have morals, but I'm just trying to illustrate that disabled people aren't necessarily helpless. Also, I don't care if the person is blind, deaf, walking with crutches, wheelchair bound or whatever else. A crutch can be used as a weapon. A person in a wheellchair, especially if it is a manually operated one could develop superior upper body strength. SO never let your guard down just because someone is disabled. That doesn't mean that you still can't offer assistance, it just means be cautious and look for red flags as you might with any other person you encounter on the streets.
​
Once again, I'm sorry that you had to experience this unpleasantness. I hope that you can move on from it in time and that you can live your life without it haunting you. I also hope that you can accept that not all blind or not all disabled people are like this. We've got a lot in common with sighted and able-bodied people. For instance, we have dreams we'd like to accomplish, hobbies we're passionate about, TV shows and movies we like to watch, and things we'd like to do before we die. You'll find blind people from all walks of life, and possessing anything from no morals or immoral, all the way up to virtuous and generous. We just do things a bit differently, that's all.
​
My advice is to file a report, but only if you're comfortable doing so. Even if they don't do anything, the report will still be on file and that can be used in case of further incidents with other people.
​
Also, just to reiterate what I said in my comment in your first post, don't let your guard down just because someone is disabled. We do things differently, but it doesn't mean we can't do them at all. I could go out and get in a fight, attack a woman, sexually assault her and so on. Of course, i won't do that because I have morals, but I'm just trying to illustrate that disabled people aren't necessarily helpless. Also, I don't care if the person is blind, deaf, walking with crutches, wheelchair bound or whatever else. A crutch can be used as a weapon. A person in a wheellchair, especially if it is a manually operated one could develop superior upper body strength. SO never let your guard down just because someone is disabled. That doesn't mean that you still can't offer assistance, it just means be cautious and look for red flags as you might with any other person you encounter on the streets.
​
Once again, I'm sorry that you had to experience this unpleasantness. I hope that you can move on from it in time and that you can live your life without it haunting you. I also hope that you can accept that not all blind or not all disabled people are like this. We've got a lot in common with sighted and able-bodied people. For instance, we have dreams we'd like to accomplish, hobbies we're passionate about, TV shows and movies we like to watch, and things we'd like to do before we die. You'll find blind people from all walks of life, and possessing anything from no morals or immoral, all the way up to virtuous and generous. We just do things a bit differently, that's all.
[deleted] 2 points 3y ago
[deleted]
Winnmark 1 points 3y ago
Report him.
I'm literally angry that they told you not to.
I'm literally angry that they told you not to.
Drunken_Idaho 1 points 3y ago
Its not for anyone here to tell you what to do, but since you asked, my advice is to file a report. What this person did was very wrong and if nobody speaks up he will do it again. I'm sorry this happened to you.
[deleted] 1 points 3y ago
[deleted]
Superfreq2 1 points 3y ago
Hey good on you for following up so that others are better protected. As people have said, it's totally up to you on weather or not to make a police report, and I would be conflicted in the same situation too.
Just know that it isn't going to ruin his life if you do so.
Just know that it isn't going to ruin his life if you do so.
[deleted] -3 points 3y ago
[deleted]
Owls_In_A_Trenchcoat 7 points 3y ago
The original story was her checking to see if certain actions were normal in the blind community, and she received useful answers from people who may have been interested in the follow-up. I get why she posted here.
bscross32 4 points 3y ago
I as well, and I don't like the tendency for certain people to lash out at people. That could have been worded differently... referring to the top level comment.
PsychedelicBraille 3 points 3y ago
Original comment:
"Cool, this isn't something specifically about the blind community though. Good on you for reporting but take the label specifics elsewhere. Blindness has nothing to do with him being inappropriate, upbringing and lack of education does."
You're right..it could have been worded a little better. My intent was not to lash out, however I appreciate being called out for it and apologize for showing a lack of empathy toward OP.
"Cool, this isn't something specifically about the blind community though. Good on you for reporting but take the label specifics elsewhere. Blindness has nothing to do with him being inappropriate, upbringing and lack of education does."
You're right..it could have been worded a little better. My intent was not to lash out, however I appreciate being called out for it and apologize for showing a lack of empathy toward OP.
Owls_In_A_Trenchcoat 3 points 3y ago
You seem like a good dude. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Sudsy613 2 points 3y ago
Clearly blindness doesn’t have anything to do with being a triggered, pretentious asshole either, but such is life.
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