Face touching, how do you feel about it?(self.Blind)
submitted by rp-turtle
I am blind and have been for a few years now. I’ve always been against the face touching myth about blind people. I would never ask to touch someone’s face to get a better idea of what they look like. I think it’s odd and I don’t like when sighted people I meet ask me to touch their face. However, when I’ve gotten to know someone pretty well, and if they offer, I’ll do it. I don’t ask. I do find that it really changes the way I visualize them. My two questions are does feeling someone’s face change the way you visualize them? And would you do it with someone you know well if they asked you to do it?
SeptemberJoy28 points3y ago
Only time I ever did was at Disneyland with Mickey Mouse. They led my hand obviously without saying anything - I was with a group and they explained before I pulled away. Was really cool as the nose was smooth while the face was fuzzy. For the record I've got 5%, varies with light conditions.
In summary: 6' mouse who wears pants and walks around greeting people? Yes. Person? No.
rp-turtle [OP]7 points3y ago
Lmao thank you for that comment. That made me laugh!
BenandGracie17 points3y ago
It is weird. Don't do it! I have never touched someone's face, and I wouldn't if I was asked. Touching a face tells me nothing about what a person looks like.
rp-turtle [OP]3 points3y ago
Thank you for your comment. Interesting perspective. After you touch someone’s face, your Image of them in your head does not change? After I do, my image of them in my head changes to reflect the new information. Like if I pictured their face very differently in my head from what their face actually looks like, my image of them updates to the accurate Version based on what I felt. Again, I do not promote feeling faces because I do not want to perpetuate negative stereotypes about blind people but I was surprised that actually feeling someone’s face changed how I pictured them.
BenandGracie9 points3y ago
It is probably because I am totally blind, and I don't have any idea what people look like.
rp-turtle [OP]9 points3y ago
Oh that makes sense. I wonder if Face touching has different results for people who were born blind and people who lost vision later in life. Interesting.
Blindman2k171 points3y ago
Agree I’m also totally blind and find it worthless
bjayernaeiy11 points3y ago
It's very cringy, NGL, and wreaks of stereotypical blindy.
I've done it only once and I felt awqward during the entire ordeal, mainly because the person just grabbed my hand and was like, here is my forehead, here are my cheeks. Feel them good. Pure cringe.
It doesn't really help me formulate an image of someone, since I have no idea what constitutes a beautiful face or the like, so I'm just left with a random face shape. It's like touching a statue of someone.
I guess I could accept it if it's a SO, but feeling the face of anyone else is just, ugh
rp-turtle [OP]3 points3y ago
I totally agree. It’s super awkward and cringe. I didn’t have that experience of them grabbing my hand and making me feel their face. I can’t imagine that being pleasant in any way. Sighted people are always grabbing us without permission though which is annoying. It just changed the way they looked in my head.
Interesting that it just comes across as a statue to you. Were you born blind or did you lose vision later in life?
bjayernaeiy4 points3y ago
Born blind, with very slight light perception. Enough to distinguish light vs dark, colours and big, brightly/well-outlined objects, not enough to see or distinguish faces.
rp-turtle [OP]3 points3y ago
Ah okay. Thank you for your comment!! I’ve never heard the statue comparison so that’s interesting to me.
LexieDream7 points3y ago
I find the idea peculiar. In the 30 years of being blind and knowing other blind individuals, I’ve never once come across anyone who touches faces. This is definitely something I’ve been asked about by sighted people, but it’s never come up amongst the blind people I’ve known.
rp-turtle [OP]3 points3y ago
That’s interesting. From my perspective, the general consensus by the blind community is to avoid touching peoples faces because it’s a negative stereotype about blind people. That’s why I never do it or ask anyone if I can touch their face. However, after trying it, I was surprised by the results. Were you Born blind? In my experience, I don’t know any other blind people, born blind or not, who go around touching peoples faces either. I guess I am just curious to hear the experiences of people who have tried face touching because when I actually tried it, it was much different than I anticipated.
BlueRock9564 points3y ago
It is not socialy acceptable to go around public places feeling people's faces. Like many others here, I cringe when I hear people who want to feel someone's face.
rp-turtle [OP]1 points3y ago
I totally agree. I was referring specifically to a context with someone you know well and are close to but not romantically involved with. Would you touch someone’s face if they asked you to and were a good friend of yours. Not in a public setting or anything.
BlueRock9561 points3y ago
I was having this discussion with a group of friends. We concluded that touching each other's face would be just like touching each other in other intamet ways.
rp-turtle [OP]1 points3y ago
Interesting conclusion. Care to share the rationale?
BlueRock9561 points3y ago
My female friends mentioned that letting someone touch their face would be like letting someone touch their breasts.
BlueRock9561 points3y ago
Not even my mother's face. I just wouldn't get enough information to picture her in my mind.
rp-turtle [OP]1 points3y ago
Interesting. Were you born blind?
BlueRock9561 points3y ago
No, I lost my vision right before being a teenager. I have a good memory. I would like to point out that even though I'm not regularly a face tucher, I do prefer getting a discription of how people look.
ukifrit4 points3y ago
I find it cute in a certain way. I'd do it with a girl I like for example. I'm really not a touching person though.
rp-turtle [OP]1 points3y ago
That makes sense. If you’ve felt someone’s face in the past, did it change the way you visualized them in your head?
ukifrit3 points3y ago
not much. I just feel very good when touching them.
rp-turtle [OP]2 points3y ago
Okay makes sense. Thanks for replying.
modulus3 points3y ago
For me it makes no sense to do it. I don't really have any sort of sense of what faces are supposed to be like, so it's a fairly random shape that doesn't tell me anything. I simply don't imagine people's faces when I talk to them, it doesn't even arise. Other than if they have some very remarkable feature (beard, very big nose, or something) I don't really get any sense of them, and I certainly wouldn't be able to distinguish them from others.
I don't mind touching the face of someone I'm involved with, not to get information about them, but simply the same way one may stroke another part of the body, or the hair, or whatever.
rp-turtle [OP]1 points3y ago
Thank you for your reply! Is that because you were born blind?
modulus2 points3y ago
I think probably yes. So there seems to be a clear pattern: faces don't mean much to totally blind people from birth. At least that's what I get from the thread so far.
rp-turtle [OP]1 points3y ago
Yeah, that’s the pattern I am noticing as well. Interesting.
MizzerC3 points3y ago
Its entirely as you say it. Myth. Doesn't work, and is just weird to even consider.
[deleted]2 points6m ago
[deleted]
guitarandbooks2 points3y ago
I lost my sight when I was 14 years old. I've always found this face touching idea strange. It's not something I would want to have done to me, or, do to somebody else. (Well okay, maybe if a cute sounding girl in high school or college had wanted me to do it, I could have made an exception. You know, for science...or something.)
macadamia_owl2 points3y ago
My grandgather did this once of course asking first for my permission. We were very close as family and he touched my face and hair very gently and sensitive avoiding eyes. He was fully blind since he was 3 years old due to mysterious optical nerves illness in his days theres was no eye doctor nearby, he lost sight in matter of hours. He never saw us or his children even his wife, as we we're little he shown us way to kindergarden, played accordion, read for us Braille books (how awesome for us it was kids like superpower "our grandfather reads books without letters with his fingers! He does everything even he can't see we have grandfather with superpower"). even if in our small town we're other blind people our grandfather was "the best". That thread reminded me a lot of him.
I miss him.
But in general its weird thing. I would understand this between close family only when both sides fully agree on this and if its done in gentle way and if persons aren't transmitting this way diseases it could cost someones sight (herpes zoster, herpes simplex so many dangerous ones not only by touch) if both sides aren't alredy sick on those and I would still avoid it. Someday I heard about a service where you send photo and they will send you back bigger one you could feel and touch with raised edges, lines, different textures for low vision and blind people it was long time ago, much safer.
Laser_Lens_42 points3y ago
I'm in the unique position that my face has changed substantially over the past year, as many sighted people have pointed it out to me. I've felt my face before and after and I can't feel any changes. It feels like my face. Maybe my cheeks are a bit less pudgy but that's about it. That's not enough info to identify someone with.
rp-turtle [OP]1 points3y ago
Thanks for your comment. Has your mental image of yourself changed at all? I assume not because you said you don’t notice any differences.
Laser_Lens_43 points3y ago
Yes, but not because of the change in the contours of my face. I'm a trans woman well into medical transition. An awful lot about myself has changed, mental image included, because of my transition.
rp-turtle [OP]3 points3y ago
That makes sense. As a random side note, do you know of any subreddits that are queer and disabled focused. I’ve found this one obviously for blind folks. I’ve found a few other ones that are LGBT specific. However, I can’t find one that combines the two. I know one for just blind queer people probably would not have a very big amount of people in it so I was thinking maybe one for all queer people with a disability.
Laser_Lens_41 points3y ago
Unfortunately I do not. Like you said, plenty of queer subreddits, and plenty of disabled subreddits. Haven't found one that's an intersection of those though
[deleted]1 points3y ago
[deleted]
RJHand1 points3y ago
Unless your getting intimate with someone in the wi hours of the morning.... Yeah don't.
pterofly1 points3y ago
So, so awkward. Just no. Hate it.
autistictechgirl19901 points3y ago
I wouldn’t do it I’m also autistic though so it’s a sensory thing it makes me cringe
Drunken_Idaho1 points3y ago
Seems pretty strange to me. I wouldn't do it. Once when I was a little kid a teacher asked if I wanted to feel her face. I didn't then and I definitely don't now.
Our mission is to provide everyone with access to large- scale community websites for the good of humanity. Without ads, without tracking, without greed.