Can blind people be a foster parent or a adoptive parent(self.Blind)
submitted by hallmandy35
mantolwen11 points3y ago
It will depend on what country you're in, but in the UK as long as you're old enough, don't have a criminal record and live in the UK then you can adopt. The adoption agency will also make sure that you are a suitable match for the child, of course. But there are so many kids out there looking for parents, I'm sure your blindness will not be the hindrance you're worried it will be.
Edited to add this link to an experience by a blind adoptive parent in the UK: $1
hallmandy35 [OP]9 points3y ago
I just want to help kids
kissitallgoodbye7 points3y ago
I emailed children's aid here in Canada because I'd been unable to find the answer on the website, and the answer was, quote "People with physical disabilities can definitely adopt! It would all depend on the type of adoption you are looking at (if you are looking at international adoption, some countries may have certain rules and regulations) and the type of child you are looking to adopt. When you complete your adoption homestudy, your adoption worker or private adoption practitioner will speak with you about the type of child that might suit your family."
Based on your comments, I don't think you would be approved any time soon - since you are, by your own admission, severely lacking some essential skills and experience, and seemingly want to adopt out of pity for these kids. It's excellent that you are wanting to adopt at your age, I was the same, but you should definitely wait until you're older - and I mean older than 21 like you had mentioned to someone else. Very few people are emotionally mature enough at 21 to handle an adoption, especially as a single parent. My husband and I have been planning to adopt since we got married 6 years ago, and are finally almost ready to submit the application - we own a house, are in our 30s, financially stable, and emotionally ready because the kids can come with MAJOR trauma and baggage that you will need to help them work through. They will likely reject you at some point (*you're not my real mom, go to hell!* Etc) and you need to be prepared to handle that. Your own brain is still growing and maturing until you're 25, so 2 times the heightened emotions is not great.
I'm not trying to dump in your dreams here, but you need to establish a good life to bring a kid home to. There will always been kids in foster care who need loving parents like I'm sure you will be... one day.
hallmandy35 [OP]1 points3y ago
First off I’m not doing it out of petty I truly want to help people and second 25, a person who is a female immature is it 25 already knew that and I truly feel like kids deserve a home and all that stuff because if they’re waiting forever just to find the true family be adopted or not you know I mean it’s kind of like they’re waiting for you know a happily ever after you know and it’s like they’re never going to get that
kissitallgoodbye3 points3y ago
Your kids will be there when the time is right.
But do you really think it's fair to bring them into a home where you are just getting your career started (potentially with odd or long hours as you build tenure), money is likely still going to be a bit tight, and all their meals will be microwaved, or they will have to cook their own dinners each night from a young age? Blind people can cook. The winner of MasterChef season 4 was/is blind.
I have cried myself to sleep several times for *years* because I want my kids here with me, not in foster care. But I know that to be the parent they deserve in order to get that happily ever after you talk about, I need to build a solid home for them.
sithsecretwayfinder5 points3y ago
I want to adopt as a single father. I fear because im blind and single itll be used against me. I have no interest in dating no more and got room, financial freedom and time to put into a one or two kids above 5. Any younger its more challenging. I hope it'll be OK.
Bingley81 points3y ago
You’d be great at it! Adopting kids above age 8 is hard because many people want babies, but actually, if you get a kid who is 8-18, they can fully take care of themselves. I’m in Arizona and worked for the Department of Child Safety and we placed kids with foster parents. Maybe check out your state’s Department of Child Safety/Child Protective Services and start with fostering older kids? It would be especially cool if you became a foster parent who was open to accepting children with disabilities! Placing a kid with a foster parent is hard because you want both sides to have a good experience. If I had a blind 10 year old, I’d definitely want to place him with a blind single father than a group home or a crowded family where they will struggle with getting attention. Best of luck!
sithsecretwayfinder1 points3y ago
I never thought about that. Fostering blind children. This would definitely get my interest as I'm fiercely independent and can definitely teach him or her the same. Genius! Thank you!! I live in the UK.
BlakeBlues5 points3y ago
Blind people can be parents. You need to know how to take care of yourself and others of course. Show that a disability doesn't impeed your ability to function it help children
achromatic_033 points3y ago
You might want to start a little outside of the box. I noticed you said you have not done any babysitting before and don't know anyone who needs it. I would check to see if your area has a Big Brothers Big Sisters program, where you can start by mentoring a child. Even lower key, you could look into volunteer tutoring and after-school programs for kids where you can get experience talking to and helping kids. You could also look into volunteering at a children's home. There are a lot of great opportunities to volunteer with children, and getting involved would really help your case when you are ready to take on foster kids or adopt.
Another thing you can do, though I don't know if they have any age requirements, is become a court-appointed special advocate. This will give you a way to help children in foster care without being a caregiver. You make sure the foster kids don't get lost in the system and that they have someone on their side to speak up for their needs.
hallmandy35 [OP]1 points3y ago
Oh yeah I think I don’t know if my town has all that stuff but I am I could look it up on my phone and see if they have that stuff and then if they do I can volunteer and stuff because I mean I would be kind of cool
taversham3 points3y ago
Blind people can adopt if they meet the criteria set out by the adoption agency. There are plenty of brilliant blind parents in the world.
You should contact the adoption agencies in your area to find out what specific things they will require of you. A lot of them have rough guidelines on their websites to help you prepare. Financial security, emotional maturity and independent living (including cooking, cleaning, etc) will likely be the bare minimum.
hallmandy35 [OP]1 points3y ago
Yeah I’ll have to look into that when I get the chance probably around today or tomorrow or Thursday
Chaylea2 points3y ago
You could always look at adopting a blind child. I don't want to limit you to your blindness as that's only a trait you have, not who you are, but depending on the agency they may be more "comfortable" (I don't know exactly how to put it, I'm very unfamiliar with adoption and fostering.) With you taking in a child who is, so to speak, "like you." Children with disabilities are often overlooked. People want the healthy infants. It definitely is an option, and it could make the child feel more comfortable knowing that their parent is like them.
That being said, you stated that you're 19. I don't recommend adopting or fostering so young. I think that 21 or 22 should be a good age. I don't doubt your ability but you're still developing and if you want a degree it would be better to complete that first so you can dedicate your time to the child. Hopefully this makes sense. I'm not blind so I can't give as much feedback as if I were. Best of luck to your parenting adventure if you decide to go through with it!
hallmandy35 [OP]2 points3y ago
Thanks for the advice but yeah I get what you’re saying I mean they only problem with me is like I have to take rides and stuff places like like Lyft or Uber and I’m like I can’t cook really well I mean I can cook but it’s mostly microwave food and it in no I just feel like if I knew if I could see more per se and I knew how to use the stove and all that I’d be fine but I’m more comfortable with using the microwave and all that stuff and you know I can’t drive so it’s like what am I gonna do and I feel like that’s gonna be a big hindrance to me when I get older and I adopt kids
coarsing_batch2 points3y ago
You don’t need to see to be able to use a stove. An absolute ton of blind people use it regularly, myself included. I don’t know of any great blind resources for cooking tips, but have you looked into any of the centres for the blind in the states? Could you perhaps go and look at national Federation for the blind and do the training? They would teach you how to do all of that stuff, and your state services will pay for it. adopting a child will be absolutely doable, but you need to be completely able to take care of yourself without mom’es help. I don’t mean to say that in a mean way, just They are really not going to be likely to allow you to adopt a child if you cannot first take care of yourself. I hope it works out for you, but definitely take some time and learn your independent living skills before trying to take care of another human who has to rely on you. Can you imagine what your life would have been like if your parents didn’t know how to feed you very well? If they only ever gave you microwave dinners? I don’t think the thing with Uber and lift and what not it’s necessarily a problem, so depending on where you are, it might be worth learning your transit system as well. But there are options, and I’m sure it will work out in the end if you take the steps necessary to make it so.
Chaylea-1 points3y ago
I know you weren't looking to get into the dating scene but I feel as though your best bet to solve those specific problems would be to have a partner. Of course that's not required as you have solutions for those things (even if not ideal.) But it'd make it much easier to cook and drive. If you're comfortable using the stove you could make casseroles and such, that way you dont have to worry about sauteing anything. Hopefully I'm not giving you useless advice lol.
coarsing_batch3 points3y ago
I really don’t believe that he needs a partner to be a parent. He just needs to learn his independent living skills, not expect everybody to do it for him. Just saying. Relationships are not the answer to every life problem.
hallmandy35 [OP]1 points3y ago
Idk
hallmandy35 [OP]1 points3y ago
I’ve always considered babysitting but I mean I don’t know anyone that wants people to watch their kids plus I’ve never use the stove so it’s kind of hard to do I mean I can have my mom show me a Thursday when she comes over she can help me learn how to use the stove or whatever and to ask for changing diapers and doing laundry like I can do laundry because I’m in an apartment and stuff and that requires a lot of time you have to like set timers and everything, And not only that but you have to like wait a specific amount of time and all that stuff which I don’t mind doing but it’s just I haven’t use the stove that’s what I was saying earlier I haven’t used a stove I’m gonna use the microwave literally all my life so it’s just lack of experience using a stove you know it’s just weird for me
80percentaccurate8 points3y ago
I’m confused. Are you saying that you can do laundry but it’s a hassle? It sounds like you need to work on your own independent living skills and becoming a pro at those before taking on the responsibility of caring for others. I think a lot of times people see children as a goal they must reach because that’s what ‘everyone’ does. After all, that’s what your parents did. Kids can’t be a solution to your problems. They can’t be a goal because that’s what you’re supposed to do. You have to be ready to love them and provide for them even if they turn out to be ungrateful brats. You can do everything right for them and it still doesn’t guarantee that they don’t grow up to be Hitler. You have to be very confident, fulfilled, and knowledgeable of your skills BEFORE having kids because kids will make you doubt everything about yourself on the bad days. If you’re looking to have kids to help you feel confident, fulfilled or knowledgeable, you’re going to have a bad time. If I were you, I would look for a job in the human services sector so that you can help people while still working on you.
coarsing_batch1 points3y ago
OK but if it’s kind of hard to babysit, if you are adopting kids, you will be babysitting them until they are grown adults. So if you can’t even figure out how to do this on a small scale, what on earth makes you think you are going to be anywhere close to qualified to be a parent? Sorry, but I have some pretty serious opinions on this, and I am desperately concerned that you are not ready. You have so many areas where you just aren’t ready yet. Please, put this idea to bed, and go learn how to take care of yourself first. Get some babysitting experience maybe, learn how to use your stove, oven, laundry facilities, and learn how to get around independently first. Please don’t misunderstand. I believe blind people should be allowed to have kids just like anyone else, but again, just like anyone else, those blind people need to learn how to take care of themselves and be able to do adult chores. You aren’t there yet. You can get there, but you have to take care of yourself first.
[deleted]1 points3y ago
[deleted]
Crackerjack5401 points3y ago
I've actually read a little about it in the US. Look into being a foster parent. It's like a stepping stone. And if it goes well, will add a lot of credibility if you want to adopt
hallmandy35 [OP]1 points3y ago
Yeah but I’d have to help my mom like help me how to use the stove and stuff because I’ve never used a stove in my life I’m gonna use the microwave and stuff but stove that’s a big nope and like I said I could use Uber or lift to take rides or another way it is it’s just it’s just weird like I don’t see why I can’t have a happy ending like I’d like to have my own kids but I don’t even know if like I know I can but it’s just you know I just wish that I could help other people help other kids, so they didn’t have to go through that
80percentaccurate6 points3y ago
Not using the stove is a big deal. Do you have any physical disabilities that prevent you from using a stove, or just lack of experience? Because that’s absolutely something you can and should learn. What about doing laundry? Changing diapers? Keeping track and measuring out medication? Uber and Lyft are good options for transportation, but if you are traveling with a small child you’ll have to figure out how to bring a car seat with you. Instead of adopting, have you considered babysitting? You could earn some money and some experience. Once you get settled with an independent income that can support children you might consider fostering. There are also jobs working in places like the school systems as an aide or paraprofessional where you could assist children. Adoption is probably one of the more difficult routes if you’re looking to give back and help children in need.
hallmandy35 [OP]1 points3y ago
I would also like to point out that I am from the US
je971 points3y ago
I sure hope so. I'm gay and I want children.
hallmandy35 [OP]0 points3y ago
Yeah well my grandma keeps putting it off she keeps saying that I can’t but I really want to I want to be an adoptive parent but the only problem is I’m 19 I wanna wait until I’m 21 and then I fill out stuff for being an adoptive parent because it’s it’s been my dream ever since I was like 15 but I want to adopt kids basically because I feel sorry for those kids that are going through a bunch of stuff and it’s like impossible
je9721 points3y ago
if you're 19 the problem will be your ability to provide for the kids. Wait until you have a stable job, income etc; that's true if your blind or sighted.
80percentaccurate8 points3y ago
Any adoption agency won’t like what you said about your grandma putting it off. If you are adopting children, they are yours not your grandma’s. You will need to prove that you can care for them financially and in every other way they might need. Your age may have something to do with it as well. If you’re serious about this you’ll need to have answers for every question they may throw at you and the answers can’t be that someone else in your family handles it. How will you buy and cook food, get them to school, make sure that they have rules and routine, get them to doctor’s appointments? It’s certainly possible. There are people out there who are single parents who are blind as well as people who are blind who have fostered and adopted, but you have to have the answers to the questions they ask in the application.
SecTrono2 points3y ago
my guess is that they don't adopt kids out to anyone under 30. i might be wrong but it seems like an unwritten rule.
ybs900122 points3y ago
I think if you got married and had a stable source of income then you'll be in a stronger position to adopt kids.
Ant54770 points3y ago
This is a good question, I can use this on my talk show, I definitely believe that they can make a good parent, foster parent, ET see especially if they have the skills to do so so yes
hallmandy35 [OP]1 points3y ago
Ok I want to adopt kids
coarsing_batch1 points3y ago
Do you remember the NFB’s reasoning for not excepting you? That make me something to look into, because I’ve actually never heard of them not excepting people. So what’s up with that?
hallmandy35 [OP]0 points3y ago
Well I tried it going through the NFB but they refused to help me so I don’t know and ask for learning how to use the stove I’m having my mom help me when she comes over two days from now and I’ll see where things go from there
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