Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Partially-Sighted, New to Using Guide Cane, Concerned re: Being Accused of Faking (self.Blind)
submitted by [deleted]
Hi, all, this is my first post here. I'm fully blind on the left side and have macular atrophy on the right, which means decreased contrast sensitivity, narrowed visual field and, of course, no depth perception. I run into people and things a lot have trouble on stairs, and need large print in order to read.
The confusing part is that what's left of my central vision has very little refractive error, so in some contexts/ways I seem to the casual observer to be a fully-sighted person. I ended up buying a guide cane to help prevent accidents and confrontations. (People have already gotten rather huffy when I've gotten in the way or bumped into them.)
Today is my first day with the cane and I'm realizing that I feel nervous looking at signs and making eye contact with people (which simply happens sometimes) because it makes it look as though I don't need the cane. I got this cane to try and reduce my vision-related social anxiety. Do any of you have tips on how to handle this?
The confusing part is that what's left of my central vision has very little refractive error, so in some contexts/ways I seem to the casual observer to be a fully-sighted person. I ended up buying a guide cane to help prevent accidents and confrontations. (People have already gotten rather huffy when I've gotten in the way or bumped into them.)
Today is my first day with the cane and I'm realizing that I feel nervous looking at signs and making eye contact with people (which simply happens sometimes) because it makes it look as though I don't need the cane. I got this cane to try and reduce my vision-related social anxiety. Do any of you have tips on how to handle this?
ChellVaquita 15 points 3y ago
Hi! I’m partially-sighted and use a symbol cane and when I started using it, I was anxious as all hell. Felt like everyone was judging me and worse yet, would think I’m ‘faking’ it. I still get funny looks sometimes, but it’s entirely other people’s ignorance at fault. Disregard those who judge, they have no clue what you’re dealing with.
What I’m saying is, it’s very common to feel nervous, especially with how ‘personal’ blindness is. I mean, I still struggle trying to explain it to others. But you’ll learn that some people, in the depths of their ignorance, will never take the time to understand, and that is their loss.
What I’m saying is, it’s very common to feel nervous, especially with how ‘personal’ blindness is. I mean, I still struggle trying to explain it to others. But you’ll learn that some people, in the depths of their ignorance, will never take the time to understand, and that is their loss.
AlbertFlintstein 6 points 3y ago
Thanks for the friendly input. It *is* a very personal thing to try and describe. It'll just take some time, I suppose. And at least I'll have the benefit of no longer banging my left knee into anything and everything.
ChellVaquita 6 points 3y ago
No problem. You really will find that a lot of people will be more accommodating, ie. moving out the way etc.
Best of luck to ya :)
Best of luck to ya :)
DrillInstructorJan 6 points 3y ago
I'm (more or less) completely blind and I have been accused of faking too, so don't feel too bad about it. I could see fine until I was 19 so I have completely normal body language and I look pretty normal. That's all it takes.
AlbertFlintstein 4 points 3y ago
The world can be a stupid place sometimes. haha
codeplaysleep 6 points 3y ago
Yeah, I was super nervous about this, too. I have some central vision in one eye and it's not great, but it's enough to see to get around OK in good lighting most of the time - but the lack of peripheral vision and poor depth perception causes issues.
I was very self-conscious at first because I'd do things like use my cane to get around, then pick something up off of a shelf and look at it.
Once I used it a few times and started really experiencing the benefits (no more bumping into people, no more twisted ankles or missed steps, etc.), that feeling of self-consciousness went away. If I didn't need it, it wouldn't have made so much difference! It was a tool that addressed a need and if someone has a problem with that, that's their problem, not mine.
Sometimes I get weird looks from people - I just pretend I can't see them.
I was very self-conscious at first because I'd do things like use my cane to get around, then pick something up off of a shelf and look at it.
Once I used it a few times and started really experiencing the benefits (no more bumping into people, no more twisted ankles or missed steps, etc.), that feeling of self-consciousness went away. If I didn't need it, it wouldn't have made so much difference! It was a tool that addressed a need and if someone has a problem with that, that's their problem, not mine.
Sometimes I get weird looks from people - I just pretend I can't see them.
AlbertFlintstein 6 points 3y ago
Very much agreed. I just went out for another test walk and was utterly thrilled to be able to focus on where I was going. It gets exhausting when you have to work extra hard to monitor what's going on around you. Now people know I need to focus on what's ahead of me and they move over without a fuss. It was a really cathartic thing.
blinderthanyou 4 points 3y ago
I have found that so difficult to explain to people, that I can’t focus on so many points at once.
ABlindManPlays 5 points 3y ago
I get Clouseaus who say I am not blind on occasion. Fortunately, most people aren't so petty and ignorant. Those who are, are not worth worrying over, or even acknowledging. They are miserable little chodes who want to tear down everyone around them, and their ignorance is not my responsibility, and I owe them no explanation.
AlbertFlintstein 3 points 3y ago
>miserable little chodes
I couldn't have said it better myself.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
UpsideDownwardSpiral 5 points 3y ago
Thanks for posting this threat. I recently became blind in one eye and have limited (central only) vision in my other. I've considered getting a cane to use in certain circumstances. I am have the same kind of concerns and insecurity with being judge for using a cane without being completely blind. It's not even something I wanted to post about here because of that. It's nice to hear some posativity surrounding it!
AlbertFlintstein 2 points 3y ago
Very happy to have helped. It's a major adjustment, isn't it? There are tons of resources, though. You've got a lot of people in your corner.
UpsideDownwardSpiral 3 points 3y ago
>It's a major adjustment, isn't it?
Very much so.
Very much so.
jasondbk 4 points 3y ago
I read this group to learn about visual loss because of others in my life.
Several years ago I had an accident and was struggling to get around on crutches. I bought a wheelchair and was afraid to use it for the same reasons you were afraid to use your cane. When I started, everyone who knew me said they were glad I did. And now when I (being stubborn) use an old man cane it does help others see I need extra something, especially parents pulling little kids out of my path. And some days I do whack people in the ankle with it if they are being stupid.
So good for you for doing what’s best for you and f those who give you grief.
Several years ago I had an accident and was struggling to get around on crutches. I bought a wheelchair and was afraid to use it for the same reasons you were afraid to use your cane. When I started, everyone who knew me said they were glad I did. And now when I (being stubborn) use an old man cane it does help others see I need extra something, especially parents pulling little kids out of my path. And some days I do whack people in the ankle with it if they are being stupid.
So good for you for doing what’s best for you and f those who give you grief.
AlbertFlintstein 1 points 3y ago
I'm hoping I won't have to do any ankle wishing, bit I haven't told it out. I've been stubborn toio but I'm tied off running into things and falling off curbs.
GTbuddha 4 points 3y ago
It is like everything in life. The longer that you use your cane the more comfortable you will be with it.
I'm also partially sighted in one eye. If the lighting is just right I don't need my cane, but two hours later when the lighting shifts I do.
At first I would walk around without my cane in the day but eventually I realized how much less stressful it was to just walk with my cane full-time.
Welcome to the club.
I'm also partially sighted in one eye. If the lighting is just right I don't need my cane, but two hours later when the lighting shifts I do.
At first I would walk around without my cane in the day but eventually I realized how much less stressful it was to just walk with my cane full-time.
Welcome to the club.
AlbertFlintstein 2 points 3y ago
Thanks. I'm sure I'll acclimate. Jittery noobs are jittery. xD
bscross32 4 points 3y ago
I would recommend just not giving a fuck. If you're out there doing your thing and not hurting anyone, then what right do people have to even say anything. Oh, they will of course, but you can address that on a case by case basis. But in general, it shouldn't be something you think about.
AlbertFlintstein 2 points 3y ago
I *do* need to work on the whole fuck-giving thing. That's been an issue for too long.
SeptemberJoy 3 points 3y ago
I'm legally blind with some usable vision and have a guide dog. I've been accused of faking when I had a cane and with my dog. Have found there are 3 ways I'm comfortable dealing if anyone says anything:
1. If they're not aggressive and I have the energy - educate in some detail - e.g. some people have no vision, others have light perception or movement, I have xyz.
2. If they are aggressive - remove myself from the situation or be blunt with my reply "I'm legally blind not 100% blind", which has worked to diffuse the screaming bogan.
3. Ignore completely - sometimes this includes wearing earphones and pretending not to hear.
If you are getting benefit from it don't stress it. Let people think whatever they want <3 Keep being awesome, you've got this.
1. If they're not aggressive and I have the energy - educate in some detail - e.g. some people have no vision, others have light perception or movement, I have xyz.
2. If they are aggressive - remove myself from the situation or be blunt with my reply "I'm legally blind not 100% blind", which has worked to diffuse the screaming bogan.
3. Ignore completely - sometimes this includes wearing earphones and pretending not to hear.
If you are getting benefit from it don't stress it. Let people think whatever they want <3 Keep being awesome, you've got this.
AlbertFlintstein 3 points 3y ago
Thank you - first hand knowledge is exactly why I came here.
JMMSpartan91 3 points 3y ago
I'm partially sighted as well and during daytime at least appear basically fully sighted.
I still use a cane now after breaking my shin twice on park benches. Damn low to ground things.
I've never been accused of faking.
Closest I've had was in a grocery store I was reading ingredients list and had someone walk up to me and ask "I thought those were for people who can't see and you are reading?" So I just explained to him what I'm using it for. He was like "oh okay cool, that makes sense, I did not know they helped partial sight too."
That one case was about all during 3 years of usage now and I walk all over the place. My O&M person said she has never seen someone tear through roller tips so fast lol.
I still use a cane now after breaking my shin twice on park benches. Damn low to ground things.
I've never been accused of faking.
Closest I've had was in a grocery store I was reading ingredients list and had someone walk up to me and ask "I thought those were for people who can't see and you are reading?" So I just explained to him what I'm using it for. He was like "oh okay cool, that makes sense, I did not know they helped partial sight too."
That one case was about all during 3 years of usage now and I walk all over the place. My O&M person said she has never seen someone tear through roller tips so fast lol.
AlbertFlintstein 3 points 3y ago
Thanks for this. This sort of input helps as lot.
JMMSpartan91 3 points 3y ago
Yes I have no regrets using it. Honestly I should have probably starting using it 5 to 6 years before I did. I was stubborn though.
Could probably have avoided several dozen injuries if I was less stubborn on if honestly lol.
Could probably have avoided several dozen injuries if I was less stubborn on if honestly lol.
CAHWY17 2 points 3y ago
I am in a similar situation blind on my left and 75% on my right with limit field of vision(FOV). The state says I am legally Blind, I agree, I use the cane to warn others and protect myself while navigating places crowded or I am not familiar with. I do not worry what others are thinking or saying. I do get concerned when people intentionally try to either block me or even trip me, again the cane is a tool, a quick whip to the lower leg( I was navigating officer) and they hobble off. But again this your life so protect it and use what God has given you, a brain to make best of the situations. Enjoy the day!
Cecil_Hersch 2 points 3y ago
I have been accused a hella lot for faking (i believe some people in my country are not aware of the condition) to a point where my parents and I had to get a specialised doctor to come down to my college (a year ago) to speak with the principal since even the lecturers thought i was faking it. But tbh, if they do not believe you, just ignore them. They are losing out on it. Those are the types of people who are ignorant. Some people just can't spend a few minutes to learn more about your condition.
Why bother to explain to ignorant people? Live your life to the fullest!
Why bother to explain to ignorant people? Live your life to the fullest!
AlbertFlintstein 2 points 3y ago
Thanks for the kind words. Hope things are going more smoothly now. Your hometown sounds a bit like mine, ignirance-wise. Hang in there. ;)
Vicki7789 2 points 3y ago
Yeah I feel like this sometimes. I'm partially sighted - optic nerve atrophy and nystagmus, can get to line 3 on an eye chart, reduced peripheral vision in both eyes, depth perception and spatial awareness issues.
But you know what? I love my cane. I love that I can walk down a street and look up, not down at my feet. I love that I'm more confident getting off trains as I can judge the step better. I love that at an airport or station i can ask for help and don't need to justify why I'm asking. I love not having to constantly apologise when I've bumped into someone who's outside my field of vision.
But you know what? I love my cane. I love that I can walk down a street and look up, not down at my feet. I love that I'm more confident getting off trains as I can judge the step better. I love that at an airport or station i can ask for help and don't need to justify why I'm asking. I love not having to constantly apologise when I've bumped into someone who's outside my field of vision.
[deleted] [OP] 2 points 3y ago
[deleted]
_Night_Wing 2 points 3y ago
I get that. I am partially sighted but I use a cane... and the zoom in feature on my phone. I know that I look weird holding my phone at a normal distance in one hand and having my cane in the other. You know what though? It's not my problem that others may think I'm faking. They are more than welcome to ask how I use my phone but nobody has gathered the courage, funny that! Take solace that you are in the right and ignore people who may be judging you based off of ignorance. If anybody dares to speak up, use it as an opportunity to educate them :)
AlbertFlintstein 3 points 3y ago
That I shall. Thank you!
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