Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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I still don't know what I want or can do in life. What else can I do about it? (self.Blind)
submitted by miragerain
My disabilities ruined my life. I'm hard of hearing and vision impaired. I'm in my 30s. I've never been able to make friends or find success at anything because of my disabilities.
I've tried everything. Seen psychologists and counselors. Tried going to college, tried working, but can't do anything.
So what's left?
Last psychologist I talked to was someone who worked with vision/hearing impaired people. She recommended I join their online group, but in that group everyone else could hear well enough to communicate and I was the only one who had to use a transcriber. And I could never think of anything to say other than "hello." Everyone else was talking about their lives and goals and dreams but I can't have any of those because I'm a worthless cripple.
I've tried everything. Seen psychologists and counselors. Tried going to college, tried working, but can't do anything.
So what's left?
Last psychologist I talked to was someone who worked with vision/hearing impaired people. She recommended I join their online group, but in that group everyone else could hear well enough to communicate and I was the only one who had to use a transcriber. And I could never think of anything to say other than "hello." Everyone else was talking about their lives and goals and dreams but I can't have any of those because I'm a worthless cripple.
CloudyBeep 12 points 3y ago
Last time you posted here, I gave you 6 practical suggestions you could do to improve your situation. Here they are again:
1. Find blind mentors in occupations that interest you.
2. Learn braille.
3. Learn how to use a desktop screen reader.
4. Contact the vocational rehabilitation department in your state.
5. Learn tactile sign language.
6. Join the email lists for blind students and blind mathematicians, links to which I gave you in your previous thread.
How many of those things have you done in the weeks since that post? The only person that can start the process of helping you is yourself, so if you don't start making these connections and learning these skills, there's no hope that you will find a better life.
1. Find blind mentors in occupations that interest you.
2. Learn braille.
3. Learn how to use a desktop screen reader.
4. Contact the vocational rehabilitation department in your state.
5. Learn tactile sign language.
6. Join the email lists for blind students and blind mathematicians, links to which I gave you in your previous thread.
How many of those things have you done in the weeks since that post? The only person that can start the process of helping you is yourself, so if you don't start making these connections and learning these skills, there's no hope that you will find a better life.
bjayernaeiy 2 points 3y ago
Could you link me to that blind students/blind mathematicians thing? Sounds interesting!
CloudyBeep 1 points 3y ago
www.nfbnet.org
I didn't link it in this post because I wanted the OP to go back and read the other thread.
I didn't link it in this post because I wanted the OP to go back and read the other thread.
miragerain [OP] 0 points 3y ago
How do I find an occupation that would both interest me and accommodate for my disabilities?
I can read without the need for Braille.
I use magnification for desktop use.
I've tried VocRehab many times. They've tried to place me in retail jobs but I couldn't move fast enough because of my disabilities. They even sent me to a retail job that specifically employs deaf people but because of my vision disability I still couldn't keep up. Took me 4x longer than average to do the job. VocRehab had no other ideas and each time I tried and couldn't make it my cases would be closed.
No organization in my city teaches tactile signing.
I can't think of anything to say to them.
I can read without the need for Braille.
I use magnification for desktop use.
I've tried VocRehab many times. They've tried to place me in retail jobs but I couldn't move fast enough because of my disabilities. They even sent me to a retail job that specifically employs deaf people but because of my vision disability I still couldn't keep up. Took me 4x longer than average to do the job. VocRehab had no other ideas and each time I tried and couldn't make it my cases would be closed.
No organization in my city teaches tactile signing.
I can't think of anything to say to them.
CloudyBeep 9 points 3y ago
So in short, you dismissed all of the suggestions we gave you last time.
You said you like STEM, which is why you tried to study it. You need to join these email lists and find mentors so you can learn:
• what accommodations other students use, because you said that you weren't aware of many of the accommodations I suggested, and your college gave you inadequate accommodations;
• how to advocate for these accommodations;
• the kind of jobs that people with visual impairments can have if they study STEM, and how to get them.
You'll even learn things just by reading the messages that other people post and looking through the archives, both of which I advise you to do tomorrow.
Voc rehab might be able to give you better guidance about whether braille is appropriate given your visual impairment and current conditions, but even if they think it isn't appropriate, how will you access information if your vision and hearing deteriorate?
You might need to look outside your state for some blindness training. But before that, you need to have a serious think about what you want to do. As I said last time, there are blind people in all manner of STEM-related occupations. Your disability is not the barrier preventing you from achieving your dreams, if you can work out what they are; it's your negative attitude towards your capabilities and a lack of knowledge about accommodations and self-advocacy.
You said you like STEM, which is why you tried to study it. You need to join these email lists and find mentors so you can learn:
• what accommodations other students use, because you said that you weren't aware of many of the accommodations I suggested, and your college gave you inadequate accommodations;
• how to advocate for these accommodations;
• the kind of jobs that people with visual impairments can have if they study STEM, and how to get them.
You'll even learn things just by reading the messages that other people post and looking through the archives, both of which I advise you to do tomorrow.
Voc rehab might be able to give you better guidance about whether braille is appropriate given your visual impairment and current conditions, but even if they think it isn't appropriate, how will you access information if your vision and hearing deteriorate?
You might need to look outside your state for some blindness training. But before that, you need to have a serious think about what you want to do. As I said last time, there are blind people in all manner of STEM-related occupations. Your disability is not the barrier preventing you from achieving your dreams, if you can work out what they are; it's your negative attitude towards your capabilities and a lack of knowledge about accommodations and self-advocacy.
miragerain [OP] 1 points 3y ago
I don't like STEM. I just thought it would give the best chance of a job, given my disabilities, and that it was a necessary evil to go through. But I've never been good at juggling numbers around.
I don't know how to pursue a career other than that vague idea. My school failed me and didn't accommodate for my disabilities. They just exempted me from assignments instead, so I never got to develop any interests like everyone else could.
>You might need to look outside your state for some blindness training.
People have suggested I go to the Helen Keller center. But it's not taking people right now because of the pandemic. And I can't leave for it anyway since I have family I need to help.
I don't know how to pursue a career other than that vague idea. My school failed me and didn't accommodate for my disabilities. They just exempted me from assignments instead, so I never got to develop any interests like everyone else could.
>You might need to look outside your state for some blindness training.
People have suggested I go to the Helen Keller center. But it's not taking people right now because of the pandemic. And I can't leave for it anyway since I have family I need to help.
CloudyBeep 1 points 3y ago
What do you like? What career do you want to have?
blind_cowboy 1 points 3y ago
First off you have gotten excellent advice in this thread. Take it!
Second you need to change how you look at yourself. I heard something the other day from a childhood sexual abuse survivor the other day that made since to me in how I look at being blind though I never thought of it this way before she pointed it out to me. Disclaimer this came from her counselor so if you have been through this sort of situation, I personally haven’t, please don’t take offense I am stating this second hand. There are 4 stages for those who have been raped or abused. I can’t remember the names of the first 2 but the 3rd is survivor which most people think is the final stage. There is however another stage when it’s not part of your identity but instead it’s something that happened to you. Sure it influences who you are as do all life experiences but instead of being a blind individual you’re a person who happens to be tall or short, man or woman, and blind.
Second you need to change how you look at yourself. I heard something the other day from a childhood sexual abuse survivor the other day that made since to me in how I look at being blind though I never thought of it this way before she pointed it out to me. Disclaimer this came from her counselor so if you have been through this sort of situation, I personally haven’t, please don’t take offense I am stating this second hand. There are 4 stages for those who have been raped or abused. I can’t remember the names of the first 2 but the 3rd is survivor which most people think is the final stage. There is however another stage when it’s not part of your identity but instead it’s something that happened to you. Sure it influences who you are as do all life experiences but instead of being a blind individual you’re a person who happens to be tall or short, man or woman, and blind.
miragerain [OP] 1 points 3y ago
Thanks.
I don't know how to get to that stage. Being disabled is my entire identity. I don't have anything else to me.
I don't know how to get to that stage. Being disabled is my entire identity. I don't have anything else to me.
CloudyBeep 2 points 3y ago
You get into that stage by achieving goals. Goals should be related to your life (like taking a course) and to your disability (like learning tactile sign language). You need to achieve both kinds of goals.
80percentaccurate 1 points 3y ago
You mentioned you use screen magnification to read. Do you use sign to communicate or can you hear speech? You’ll often find that one disability group will make you feel like a red headed step child because of the disability they are less familiar with. If you’re talking to a blind group it’s your hearing that limits you most and if you’re taking to a Deaf group it’s the opposite. The truth is neither is true. You just need to explain what you need help with in order to accomplish your goals. You used a transcriber while chatting with Blind people. Great! They might need to learn more about that because maybe they’ve never used it before. You take more time to see things. Fine! Make sure your deaf friends know you need that time. You may find more love in the deafblind community because there are plenty of people with duel sensory loss. One thing is for certain though, you can’t blame your disability for not achieving. That doesn’t fly here. You’re talking to very successful and mostly happy people who haven’t let their circumstances stop them... and they expect the same from you.
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