Hi there, I’ve been visually impaired since I was 21 ( in my fifties now) and I was able to drive for a few years before losing my vision but I can relate to your struggles. Being able to drive definitely impacted on my sense of self worth and independence and losing that ability was difficult to say the least. I know a lot of people say that not being able to drive is no big deal, especially in larger cities where public transit is a viable option. But it is different when you choose not to drive rather than not having the option. I was fortunate to the extent that I met a woman through a great group of friends I had prior to losing my vision and she did not feel that my lack of driving ability was a big barrier. At least that was the case early on in our marriage but Her having to do all the driving and related chores became an unstated burden after we had kids. So, although my eyesight was to poor to facilitate driving, I am independent in most other aspects of daily living so I did my share around the home and had a well paid career. That said, I always felt to be a burden to my former wife and friends when I required mobility assistance. So, that has been my reality for most of my life and If there is one point I want to make for you, is “ fuck that shit”. I wasted to much of my life feeling sorry for myself , pining over a life that I missed out on rather than finding a way to live a fuller and happier life with the abilities I do have. Live your best life, make yourself vulnerable and don’t hide yourself away. You impress as insightful, thoughtful and still curious about the world. Those are great qualities, so grow them. If nothing else, please love and respect yourself and go out and find your life because It won’t come looking for you. Peace my friend.

Listen, some girls wont date you because you dont drive, thats fine.. Dont let this stop you, because there are plenty of chickies out there that will date you.

I personally chose to move to a city with better public transit. My girlfriend is sighted, all my friends are sighted... none of them drive. So you are the majority. For me, honestly, it wasnt a big deal

I've been visually impaired my whole life and could not get my license in a very small rural town. Not gonna lie, it sucked because all my friends were at least a 20 minute drive away and they could get together but I couldn't. If anything, it made me more determined to get out of that town and become independent. I now live in Chicago and own a home near the train and several bus routes. I don't have kids due to other health issues but I'm able to get myself everywhere I need to be - work, doctors, groceries and libraries, friends, concerts.... And if I can't get somewhere, odds are I can get it delivered to me in the city. I miss my hometown occasionally but I've grown so much in this city and can't imagine going back to being dependent on others for tasks I can manage for myself with public transit.

I used to focus into what I could still do as well as a normal person and put effort into excelling at it. My inability to drive didn't use to be a problem since I could compensate using my other skills to indirectly pay others to do it for me. That was before I lost my sight completely though, because blindness affects everything across the board and I haven't found a proper way to cope yet.

It still bothers me because I have gone all these years depending on relatives to take me places. And I never date because I don't know what to do to get places or meet women etc... Ironically my main goal in life was get married and have a family and I have isolated myself forever. lol.

so funny story: One of my good adult friends and mentours growing up a youth leader for our church in his late 50s, was a driving instructor for his day job. He gave all the youth a driving lesson each when they turned sixteen, and so he did the same for me, sitting in his Student Driving car with two sets of brakes and etc.

I had driven with him like 5 times, at the end of the first time I drove he said "You know, you're actually better than a lot of the sighted students on your first time, because you must listen to everything I say instead of assuming that you know it all."

I was able to drive for twenty years before becoming legally blind.

It is the greatest loss of independence I have ever experienced.

I think perhaps it might be easier for a person who has never driven than a person who used to drive a LOT. Almost as if you don't really know it to miss it.

There are for sure people out there who are not going to care, and they will be happy to drive you around, you just need to be really open to it and not act too insecure, cuz that's a turn-off or attracts the wrong kind of person to you (aka, people who will feed on your insecurity). There are even people who can only be in a car if they're driving because of motion sickness--match made in heaven, right? You got this, my friend! I hate that I can't drive, but my partner is a real trooper! It's possible!

I’m currently 17 and I have known all my life I’m never gonna be able to drive. It has never bothered me since I’ve always loved to travel by public transportation.

My seeing friends will get their drivers licenses next year and I’m not jealous at all! A license is expensive, buying a car is expensive, maintaining a car is expensive, gas is expensive and so on. I will never have to think of those costs when I use public transportation and don’t have a car. I’m also quite exited to ride in my friends’ cars with them driving!

Something that has bothered me though is that I won’t be able to ride a bike. I CAN ride a bike and I’ve done that a lot on the road by my house. But I won’t be able to ride a bike in the city.

I found out i was blind on the day I started driving lessons. So close. It still makes me sour. However, what the law doesn't know won't hurt me. Lol.

I know this is random but thank you for posting this. Im visually impaired and been dealing with this exact same issue my whole life. As I've gotten older, it has only gotten harder to come to terms with not being able to drive. It's nice knowing I'm not the only one in this boat.

Because I've heard my dad constantly complain about drivers being jerks on the road, and I think "oh am I glad I will never have to deal with that myself."

I’ve been VI since birth and have had the exact same experience of feeling alone/left behind when my friends were getting drivers licenses and I couldn’t. Honestly, I go through a continuous grieving process about my vision and driving plays a huge role in that. Hopefully that makes sense?¿? I think the best way I’ve been able to deal with it is meeting other people who are VI. Making fun of ourselves and having friends who know what it’s truly like to live how we live has really helped me. Also, I highly recommend actually going driving! I’ve gone to parking lots with my parents or siblings and basically had a driving lesson just so I could experience it. Most importantly, I have tried to also gain as much independence as I possible can. In some ways it kind of makes up for driving (only a small part but each part counts). I go to college in a city and after I graduate I plan to either live here or move to another city. Having the independence of getting around via public transportation helps mentally. Although driverless cars are still probably far away, knowing that will be an option in my lifetime gives me some hope. Technology is advancing so try to take advantage of it!

Also, honestly therapy has helped me a lot. It’s sometimes hard to find a blind/VI community near you so being able to work through emotions, situations, etc with someone who’s there to simply listen and validate you helps a lot. It’s helped me with self esteem and acceptance.

Being VI sucks beyond belief. It can be mentally and emotionally taxing and unfortunately we have to do a lot more work than fully sighted people. It took me a long time to accept my vision, but I’ve tried to remind myself that I offer a unique perspective on the world because of what I see. It sounds cheesy, but your vision doesn’t define you. You will find sloutions to problema just like fully sighted people do, but you may solve those problems in a different way and that’s ok. You are worth it and someone who is fully sighted isn’t better than you. If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to pm me this crap can really suck sometimes

I have a different perspective - I am a woman and my fiancé is visually impaired and cannot drive.

I don't mind that he can't drive AT ALL. It doesn't make him less of a man in any way. I am a strong willed girl who has always wanted to be seen as independent and just as capable as a man, so me being the sole driver doesn't worry me in any way.

When we dated, he would meet me by catching the bus, train or getting a taxi (Uber was not a thing then) or ask his brother or friend to drive him there. We went to the beach, cinema etc and he met me using public transport. I didn't mind at all. I was curious about his eyesight and asked him questions and he was honest and it was no problem at all for me.

We are moving to a street near a train station soon so he can take any future kids on day trips or take them to visit his family via train which makes him feel independent. We will live near several schools so he can walk with any future kids to their school, no car required. He can also walk to work from our new house. We are moving to the city so that he can be as independent as possible via public transport.

I think it was never an issue because he also never used not driving as a reason not to do something, and that is a key point. He would take two buses to meet me, taking nearly two hours, when I lived in a different area. To me, that was more manly and showed more commitment to me than driving - he didn't have to do that, he could have easily said no, it's too much effort and time, but he took those buses.

I know this isn't the perspective you asked for but I wanted to let you know that the right woman won't mind at all, and your family and any future children will appreciate the effort you make, not the method of transport you used. 🙂

I've never been able to drive and it hasn't bothered me much.

Most of my friends can drive so they just give me a lift when we hang out.

I also get to spend money on stuff that I like rather than cars tax and insurance which makes me feel a bit better

Perhaps I'm "lucky"; I am both visually impaired and predisposed to fear unknown things. So when I started really, *really* considering driving at 14-15, it sort of clicked in my head one day that if I were to drive, I would be controlling a death machine that would be going much faster than I could run, and after that thought I was quite content to never drive. I will say that I did want to drive when I was young, but finding out I couldn't turned out to be okay for me. These days, I sometimes get frustrated when I want to get from point A to point B and I can't just *go,* but my ideal solution still isn't to drive a car myself.

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I guess I was never too interested in driving? I knew from an early age I would probably never be able to drive, so I focused on learning about and using other modes of transport. I also found it a bit scary.

When I was 15/16 my class went to a driving school and we all had a go driving with an instructor. I had fun, but I also realised I could only ever drive in an enclosed experience like that, as I couldn't even imagine trying to navigate carparks or busy streets.

Even if my eyesight was perfect, I still wouldn't drive, honestly the thought of pulling the wrong move and potentially hurting my passengers, or someone else terrifies me