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Going on a date with a blind guy (self.Blind)
submitted by domantee1
So I met this guy on Tinder and we hit it off very well. I knew he is blind because he mentioned it in his bio and I decided it's not gonna bother me so I swiped right. We have been chatting for a few weeks now and he mentioned he'd like to finally meet me. We live in different cities, but he said he could come to mine. I feel kinda bad that he has to go trough the struggle to go here (because I don't have the way to go to his city), but he said that his dad's girlfriend lives in my city so he'd take him. Now my city is not the biggest and doesn't have a lot of activities. Also a lot of places are under construction now. I fear that we won't have anything to do really. There is one park available at the moment, few bars and cafés/restaurants. He mentioned before that he also likes going to clubs. We do have one here but I'm afraid of taking him there as people in my city aren't known for tolerance. I also thought of a movie theater, but it doesn't provide audio descriptions here. Maybe any tips on where I could take him? Also just tips in general? I'm pretty worried I'll do something weird or wrong.
SecTrono 20 points 2y ago
these are things you should probably talk to him about directly. you might want to ask him how much vision he has. some people who are blind have a enough vision to do things like read, play video games or watch a movie but not enough vision to drive or recognize a person without hearing their voice. at least that was the level of ability that a couple of my friends had back in university. you may be surprised by the wide range of tasks and activities your friend can enjoy.
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as far as tolerance goes, its another thing you should ask him about. blind people hear all sorts of intolerant bullshit 24/7 so its unlikely that you will say anything to offend him so long as you are coming from a place of respect and good intentions. and if someone in your town says something rude to him its not going to make him curl up into the fetal position and start sobbing. he has almost certainly heard worse.
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there is lots of talk these days about fighting racism, sexism and homophobia. but nobody seems to really think about ableism. its all over the place and it gives most of us disabled people a thick skin.
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as far as tolerance goes, its another thing you should ask him about. blind people hear all sorts of intolerant bullshit 24/7 so its unlikely that you will say anything to offend him so long as you are coming from a place of respect and good intentions. and if someone in your town says something rude to him its not going to make him curl up into the fetal position and start sobbing. he has almost certainly heard worse.
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there is lots of talk these days about fighting racism, sexism and homophobia. but nobody seems to really think about ableism. its all over the place and it gives most of us disabled people a thick skin.
FantasticGlove 10 points 2y ago
Just treat him the way you would want to be treated. The only thing he can't do is drive and if he feels confident that he can go to clubs, don't worry about it. He can deal with the problems himself and you don't have to protect him. Remember, he's an adult and being blind does not make him less of an adult. He obviously likes you so just have fun and engage in normal conversations. I hope this helps. source: I'm totally blind.
Lightxd 5 points 2y ago
If I was him I would be super scared of going to clubs or construction sites because I rely on my hearing for everything, so if there's too much noise I wouldn't be able to use echolocation but it sounds like it's nor a problem for him. Also as a visually disabled person, I always try to have control over my environment, especially when meeting new people but it sounds like he doesn't, so for what you're saying it sounds like you should treat him like a normal guy and not overthinking the whole thing.
dunktheball 0 points 2y ago
I hate noisy places to begin with, even unrelated to vision issues. i don't know how anyone likes hearing a million things going on while trying to talk... That is one reason i never end up dating because I don't know anywhere else to meet people. lol.
feoh 5 points 2y ago
Just be honest and up front about things, and try not to feel weird or awkward, just ask him about what works and what doesn't. He's probably quite used to communicating with people about what his capabilities are and everyone will have a better time if you try to relax and have fun with it!
Good luck!
Good luck!
guitarandbooks 3 points 2y ago
I've been blind since I was a teen. I've dated blind and sighted girls. My best advice would be to be open with him and just ask these and any other questions. I appreciate when someone asks me questions because then they have first hand answers and will have a bit more information as opposed to assumptions or stereotypes.
Winnmark 2 points 2y ago
2 things:
1) I loved reading that you're giving a blind guy a chance... That lucky son of a bitch got a date even though we're in the corona era.
2) if he's down to go do a club, maybe he's legally blind? It could be that he has sight, just not as much as you. with that said, careful there, he might be able to out drink you lol
1) I loved reading that you're giving a blind guy a chance... That lucky son of a bitch got a date even though we're in the corona era.
2) if he's down to go do a club, maybe he's legally blind? It could be that he has sight, just not as much as you. with that said, careful there, he might be able to out drink you lol
domantee1 [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Haha I guess the fact, that corona isn't a thing here anymore, helped.
I don't think he's just legally blind. As far as I understood, he mentioned he can only see the difference between light and dark. Tho you're definitely right about him out drinking me hahah
I don't think he's just legally blind. As far as I understood, he mentioned he can only see the difference between light and dark. Tho you're definitely right about him out drinking me hahah
Envrin 2 points 2y ago
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If you're worried, then just ask him what he'd like to do.
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For me personally, the one thing I love is cooking dinner with someone I love. Put on some music, break out a bottle of wine, and talk and laugh while we're both cutting things up, and throwing them into the pan. Following that up with a nice bubble bath never hurts either, lol.
If you're worried, then just ask him what he'd like to do.
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For me personally, the one thing I love is cooking dinner with someone I love. Put on some music, break out a bottle of wine, and talk and laugh while we're both cutting things up, and throwing them into the pan. Following that up with a nice bubble bath never hurts either, lol.
Nighthawk321 1 points 2y ago
The movie theater doesn't provide audio description? Strange.
domantee1 [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Yea as I said it's a pretty small town and our local movie theater is pretty old. I mean, they don't even have 3D and THAT'S old news in most of the theaters lol
oncenightvaler 1 points 2y ago
Just treat him like you would any other guy, don't assume he needs help, wait for him to ask.
The one thing you might want to help him with is just called sighted guide where he will hold your elbow gently and you will walk to wherever in front of him, and warn him of obstacles etc.
The one thing you might want to help him with is just called sighted guide where he will hold your elbow gently and you will walk to wherever in front of him, and warn him of obstacles etc.
AlexDalcourt 1 points 2y ago
Ask him what hes comfortable with! Tell him some options and work out a plan with him. He knows his limits so dont decide for him.
Here are some date ideas my partner and I have done even tho I'm blind.
1. A picnic in a park.
2. Going to a bookstore/library and seeing if there are any funny/nice audiobooks and listening to it together while relaxing.
3. Just going to dinner and talking
4. Watching a movie on Nerflix that has audio descriptions.
5. Playing board games (if the text is small my partner helps me but it's still super fun)
6. Going to a comedy show/ concert that's local.
7. A fair/festival.
8. Comparing perspective (we went star gazing and I described what I imagine stars would look like and he described what he could see. Its actually super interesting.)
9. Really any date that you would normally go on as long as you remember to check in that it's ok with him first!
Here are some date ideas my partner and I have done even tho I'm blind.
1. A picnic in a park.
2. Going to a bookstore/library and seeing if there are any funny/nice audiobooks and listening to it together while relaxing.
3. Just going to dinner and talking
4. Watching a movie on Nerflix that has audio descriptions.
5. Playing board games (if the text is small my partner helps me but it's still super fun)
6. Going to a comedy show/ concert that's local.
7. A fair/festival.
8. Comparing perspective (we went star gazing and I described what I imagine stars would look like and he described what he could see. Its actually super interesting.)
9. Really any date that you would normally go on as long as you remember to check in that it's ok with him first!
rp-turtle 1 points 2y ago
I like the idea of grabbing coffee or something at a cafe and walking around the park. Cafes or restaurants tend to be the best first tinder dates for me as a blind person. I do think the best advice is to talk to him though and explain that you’re worried that there’s nothing to do. He might be down with a movie that’s just really dialogue heavy like a drama while having you answer any questions he has about the movie as y’all watch it. As a blind person, he’s probably quite use to creatively adapting to things so never be afraid to spitball ideas together. If anything, it can help you two bond. I hope it goes well!
RapperNev 1 points 2y ago
unless I'm wrong and Tinder actually made their app accessible in the last couple years, he probably has some vision if he's using that app. So he's probably not complete pitch black blind like I am. Which would explain his liking for clubs. I'm a one on one kind of guy, especially with my hearing loss, so group settings as a first date, with a few exceptions, are not really what I'm into.
I'd probably only enjoy a club if I was in the DJ booth.
He seems like he knows what he's into so try not to overthink it too much like others said. Blind or not we all gotta live in the same corrupt and crazy world.
I'd probably only enjoy a club if I was in the DJ booth.
He seems like he knows what he's into so try not to overthink it too much like others said. Blind or not we all gotta live in the same corrupt and crazy world.
arithebaddest 1 points 2y ago
We’re you born blind or became blind later in life?
RapperNev 1 points 2y ago
I was born blind.
The genetic disease that made me blind is also responsible for my hearing loss.
The genetic disease that made me blind is also responsible for my hearing loss.
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