Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Help me clear up misconceptions and stereotypes my parents may have about my partner (self.Blind)
submitted by Throwraneo
After having a conversation with my parents recently, who are against my(f18) relationship with my gf(f20, no vision) they have at least opened up to listening to when I tell them that being blind doesn't mean I should not be with her and that it's not okay for them to treat her differently.
The reason I came here was to ask, considering we've only been together for a few months, what are some of the more long term issues/misconceptions I should be aware of so I can know what to expect and know what to tell them so that they don't believe something inaccurate or stereotyped.
Thanks a lot.
The reason I came here was to ask, considering we've only been together for a few months, what are some of the more long term issues/misconceptions I should be aware of so I can know what to expect and know what to tell them so that they don't believe something inaccurate or stereotyped.
Thanks a lot.
NonstopBus 10 points 2y ago
I think a big on for me as someone who is VI is that I need my partner to really understand that I know my own limitations and what I can do independently. And that blindness/low vision/visual impaired is not a one size fits all thing and can be a spectrum. So really listing to you partner and hearing what they are saying they need is going to go a long way in making sure both your needs are being met. (This isn’t much different than any other relationship; but communication is SO important)
Best of luck you two!!
Also side note: I’m queer/trans/disabled so I know how hard it can be to stand up to family about various things and how all these things intersect. So if either you or your GF ever want to talk please reach out via DM. :)
Best of luck you two!!
Also side note: I’m queer/trans/disabled so I know how hard it can be to stand up to family about various things and how all these things intersect. So if either you or your GF ever want to talk please reach out via DM. :)
mrsmonstera 8 points 2y ago
I faced this with my boyfriend’s family when they found out I was going blind. Their misconception was that I’d be completely dependent on him, unable to take care of myself in any way.
What they don’t understand is, I’ve been going blind since I was 6 years old. I know what I can and can’t do and most people wouldn’t know how bad my vision is just by looking at me because I’ve always been this way and I know how to get around and function without being able to see. I have figured out how to get around working a traditional job and I’ve always supported myself, and now I’m in the beginning stages of owning my own business.
We have to prove ourselves to people more than someone who doesn’t have any disabilities. It’s easy for someone who is sighted to think “blind” and confuse the condition with being helpless. My advice would to be to let your partner show them what she can do rather than focusing on what she can’t do or what her limitations may be. Just let her get around and function the way she normally does around them and let them see for themselves that she’s not lost without you. They might just be worried that you’re getting yourself into a big commitment with someone who needs a lot of help and at such a young age, it probably worries them.
What they don’t understand is, I’ve been going blind since I was 6 years old. I know what I can and can’t do and most people wouldn’t know how bad my vision is just by looking at me because I’ve always been this way and I know how to get around and function without being able to see. I have figured out how to get around working a traditional job and I’ve always supported myself, and now I’m in the beginning stages of owning my own business.
We have to prove ourselves to people more than someone who doesn’t have any disabilities. It’s easy for someone who is sighted to think “blind” and confuse the condition with being helpless. My advice would to be to let your partner show them what she can do rather than focusing on what she can’t do or what her limitations may be. Just let her get around and function the way she normally does around them and let them see for themselves that she’s not lost without you. They might just be worried that you’re getting yourself into a big commitment with someone who needs a lot of help and at such a young age, it probably worries them.
Kylefornicationn 5 points 2y ago
Just sounds to me like your parents are bigots... It is literally a 30 second google search if you know nothing about blind people, that they are incredibly capable people And good partners
blind_cowboy 1 points 2y ago
Sounds like my wife’s parents. We’re now at a point where I avoid them as much as possible. On the other hand I don’t hold it against her because they are their own people and she can’t control what they think.
However if her step dad moves shit around in my house I might give a demonstration of a blind man kicking an old man’s behind.
However if her step dad moves shit around in my house I might give a demonstration of a blind man kicking an old man’s behind.
DrillInstructorJan 1 points 2y ago
I assume the unpleasantness is because it's a same sex relationship not because she's blind, but let us know if that's not the case. Personally I can't tell you about the same sex thing as I'm a straight woman, but if it helps there are blind people who are directors of companies, make more money than their sighted partners, travel internationally on their own and play music in recording sessions for movies you would have heard of, and in their spare time mentor young people who have lost sight suddenly.
Ask me how I know these things.
Ask me how I know these things.
Throwraneo [OP] 1 points 2y ago
They explicitly talk about her "limiting my options" and have called her a burden multiple times, and they didn't have any major issue when I came out as bi
DrillInstructorJan 3 points 2y ago
Oh for fuck's sake. Limiting your options? People actually say that sort of thing, out loud? Sorry it just winds me up, and I should imagine it winds you up too. Personally I'd be more worried about her being blind limiting her options, not yours. About the only way my being blind limits my partner's options is that I'm very rarely designated driver, unless they're interested in a very exciting ride home. Yes, I will very very rarely ask him to walk me somewhere or meet me somewhere, but who doesn't. I do probably ask him to read a hell of a lot of stuff, but that's not exactly a big deal.
To be fair, just so you understand both sides of this, I always think it is very much up to people like me (and your girlfriend) to take as much responsibility as they can. When I mentor people I push them really hard, sometimes to the point of being pretty harsh with them. It's my disability, it's my total suckfest, and it's my problem to deal with. Possibly I'm a bit hardcore when it comes to that and I tend to feel like any time I have to ask for help is a failure, but the reason I do that is precisely because if anyone says stuff like "limiting options" I can tell them to get lost. There are people out there, often people who were born blind, who really don't seem to care and sit back living on benefits, but honestly that's their problem.
In the end you have to ask what your parents think people should be doing with their time. Do they want your girlfriend to spend the rest of her life in a lonely partnerless joyless state because she'll just screw up someone else's life too? She won't, by the way, if she's half smart and even a tiny bit enterprising.
To be fair, just so you understand both sides of this, I always think it is very much up to people like me (and your girlfriend) to take as much responsibility as they can. When I mentor people I push them really hard, sometimes to the point of being pretty harsh with them. It's my disability, it's my total suckfest, and it's my problem to deal with. Possibly I'm a bit hardcore when it comes to that and I tend to feel like any time I have to ask for help is a failure, but the reason I do that is precisely because if anyone says stuff like "limiting options" I can tell them to get lost. There are people out there, often people who were born blind, who really don't seem to care and sit back living on benefits, but honestly that's their problem.
In the end you have to ask what your parents think people should be doing with their time. Do they want your girlfriend to spend the rest of her life in a lonely partnerless joyless state because she'll just screw up someone else's life too? She won't, by the way, if she's half smart and even a tiny bit enterprising.
mathologies 1 points 2y ago
I liked the show In the Dark for showing visually impaired life
ojjohndoe 1 points 2y ago
It’s not a terrible show but I have to say that personally I think it’s a terrible representation of visually impaired life for the following reasons.
Blind people don’t feel faces.
Blind people don’t use Siri to send all their messages.
Blind people don’t have to ask people around them if their phone is off when it’s not responding.
Blind people don’t feel faces.
Blind people don’t use Siri to send all their messages.
Blind people don’t have to ask people around them if their phone is off when it’s not responding.
DrillInstructorJan 1 points 2y ago
And it gets things wrong the other way too. She goes to an apartment building she's never been to before and finds someone in an apartment she's never been to before, and finds someone's room in that apartment, with nothing but a cane. Maybe I'm just useless but it seems a bit unlikely. Way too much convenience for the storyline, to the point where she's not even really dealing with being blind on a realistic level.
jage9 1 points 2y ago
I do things like this all the time. I don't say that to put you down, just to illustrate that travel to unknown places is very doable. Sometimes you may need to ask an extra question, but it's all part of the exploration.
SecTrono 0 points 2y ago
are you sure they aren't reacting badly because this is a same sex relationship? its one thing to act supportive when your child comes out but its something else entirely when they actually act on it. i'm not saying same sex is wrong. just saying parents might struggle with actually excepting it. they might think that getting mad because she is a girl would look bigoted so they use her disability as an excuse.
Throwraneo [OP] 0 points 2y ago
I'm pretty sure its not because they even know we have sex a fair bit and never seem to have a problem with me talking about females as cute with my friends etc and they never bring up the topic as an issue
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