Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Do you have fun with your blindness? (self.Blind)
submitted by UpsideDownwardSpiral
Hey guys. I tend to use a lot of humor in my life as a coping mechanism and I feel like it's pretty common. I like to use dad joke style humor and puns, and it got me thinking that you guys probably have some good go-to jokes and puns. So, let's hear them!
A friend of mine recently got a kick out of me (unintentionally) using "Long time no see" and I'll definitely be using that again. Otherwise just generally things like replying "I don't" when someone says "I see" to me, or just general word play with seeing/looking word play. The other day a friend of mine asked me what a street sign said when she was driving and I was in the passenger seat, which just made up both laugh when it sank in that she was asking a blind person to read something for her. Nothing too clever or hilarious.
So, what are some funny instances surrounding your vision (or lack there of) that enjoyed and think we would all get a kick out of?
A friend of mine recently got a kick out of me (unintentionally) using "Long time no see" and I'll definitely be using that again. Otherwise just generally things like replying "I don't" when someone says "I see" to me, or just general word play with seeing/looking word play. The other day a friend of mine asked me what a street sign said when she was driving and I was in the passenger seat, which just made up both laugh when it sank in that she was asking a blind person to read something for her. Nothing too clever or hilarious.
So, what are some funny instances surrounding your vision (or lack there of) that enjoyed and think we would all get a kick out of?
[deleted] 22 points 2y ago
I like to joke that I'm going to become a barber and call my shop "Sorry About Your Ear."
SixtyForceDemon 4 points 2y ago
I actually got my ear cut at a barber shop once. I went to great clips and I pointed out where the skin was sensitive from my cochlear implant scar and they still managed to make it bleed.
ratadeacero 16 points 2y ago
Our household is definitely irreverent regarding the blindness. We make jokes all the time. If you can't change it, laugh about it.
ukifrit 5 points 2y ago
not every situation presents barriers for us blind people. Of course that's from a perspective of someone who grew up blind, not having the complicated feelings related to losing sight later in life, but I don't feel being blind is a bad thing. It causes me troubles sometimes, but it's far from my main concerns list.
Blind_Not_Clumsy 16 points 2y ago
I dressed up as the Three Blind Mice for Halloween one year. My co-workers in my department got a kick out of it...my other co-workers were mildly horrified.
blindchickruns 13 points 2y ago
The first year I was legally blind, I dressed up as a blind referee for Halloween.
Whenever I'm in a store and I surprise somebody by turning around, I quickly apologize and say something to the effect that I'm trying to grow eyes back there but the ones I have up front don't work right.
Whenever asked if I see something in the distance, my answer is usually "no, do tell."
I could go on but I'm sure you get the gist.
Whenever I'm in a store and I surprise somebody by turning around, I quickly apologize and say something to the effect that I'm trying to grow eyes back there but the ones I have up front don't work right.
Whenever asked if I see something in the distance, my answer is usually "no, do tell."
I could go on but I'm sure you get the gist.
ukifrit 2 points 2y ago
lol
SeptemberJoy 11 points 2y ago
After the zillionth time hear my guide dog was beautiful I sorrowfully muttered "nobody ever says that about me". Did feel a little guilty when the 2 elderly ladies began falling over themselves to tell me I was beautiful too.
Have a stack of similar - and of my brain trying to interpret what it's seen with limited info. My favourite is still the street light I mistook for a helicopter.
Have a stack of similar - and of my brain trying to interpret what it's seen with limited info. My favourite is still the street light I mistook for a helicopter.
UpsideDownwardSpiral [OP] 8 points 2y ago
>I sorrowfully muttered "nobody ever says that about me".
Oh, that is absolutely fantastic. You got a genuine laugh out of me with that one!
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As for misidentifying objects- I once stared out my window trying to figure out A. Why my curtains looked so weird, and B. Why it was so bright outside at that time of day. I was actually staring at my lamp that sits right next to the window, and it took me not less than a full minute to figure it out.
Oh, that is absolutely fantastic. You got a genuine laugh out of me with that one!
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As for misidentifying objects- I once stared out my window trying to figure out A. Why my curtains looked so weird, and B. Why it was so bright outside at that time of day. I was actually staring at my lamp that sits right next to the window, and it took me not less than a full minute to figure it out.
DrillInstructorJan 2 points 2y ago
That finally sounds like a reason to get a guide dog to me.
SixtyForceDemon 11 points 2y ago
I like to count how many wet floor signs I can knock over when I’m out and about.
ticktockmaven 7 points 2y ago
Man, if I had a nickel for every time my husband hits one of those..... He's partially sighted (RP) but those suckers leap out at him every time. We call them his nemesis, so now if we're out and are going to pass one I'll just say nemesis and he automatically stops to locate it. They are so loud when they fall too.
SixtyForceDemon 5 points 2y ago
I was at Safeway the other day and I knocked one over and I swear it was the loudest sound ever, I got so red.
SillySaloli 2 points 2y ago
Or, how many car alarms you can activate as you walk along the front of a building. They often park too close, and even a gentle tap from a white cane will often set them off.
kissitallgoodbye 9 points 2y ago
I can't find something? "Oh no, I think I'm going blind"
Saying I just caught it out of the front of my eye (I don't have peripherals, so no corners, per se)
Some says "I see/I saw/I've seen" etc: "wow, rub it in"
Saying I just caught it out of the front of my eye (I don't have peripherals, so no corners, per se)
Some says "I see/I saw/I've seen" etc: "wow, rub it in"
UpsideDownwardSpiral [OP] 7 points 2y ago
> I can't find something? "Oh no, I think I'm going blind"
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I used to do this before I lost vision, then I absentmindedly did it more recently and it kind of went over like a fart in church, haha.
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I used to do this before I lost vision, then I absentmindedly did it more recently and it kind of went over like a fart in church, haha.
LadyAlleta 8 points 2y ago
Whenever I fail at a task that is easy for sighted ppl I will usually stop and make a note of like "I just want to remind the room, that not everyone here is sighted. And that was really impressive from what I saw."
Usually it gets the floor laughing really hard.
Usually it gets the floor laughing really hard.
UpsideDownwardSpiral [OP] 5 points 2y ago
Nice.
I'm just trying to envision this... Is this like just random instances when others are around, or some other scenario where they might be paying particular attention to you ... ?
I'm just trying to envision this... Is this like just random instances when others are around, or some other scenario where they might be paying particular attention to you ... ?
LadyAlleta 4 points 2y ago
Bit of both? Like when I get the food from the counter and it's the wrong order. Or when they start talking about something I can't see and want to know.
letspaintthesky 7 points 2y ago
I have plenty of fun with my impairment. For instance, one day, I was telling my sister about how I wished I knew the real reason I got dumped. All I could tell was that my girlfriend was lying to me about the reason.
I said 'and I thought Hindsight was supposed to be 20/20?'
Deadpan, my sister says, 'not for you'.
Now, I feel the need to explain that my sister is deaf and she hates people making jokes about disabilities. She'd never make a joke like that on purpose. Despite this, I nearly peed myself laughing. She was horrified and fell over herself to explain 'That's NOT what I meant! I would never joke about your disability!' Which very quickly turned into her demanding I stop laughing because 'It's isn't funny! I didn't mean that! Stop!'
I told her not to fight it, she'd just gone up a notch in my books.
To this day, she hates when I tell the story. It's friggin' hilarious though.
I said 'and I thought Hindsight was supposed to be 20/20?'
Deadpan, my sister says, 'not for you'.
Now, I feel the need to explain that my sister is deaf and she hates people making jokes about disabilities. She'd never make a joke like that on purpose. Despite this, I nearly peed myself laughing. She was horrified and fell over herself to explain 'That's NOT what I meant! I would never joke about your disability!' Which very quickly turned into her demanding I stop laughing because 'It's isn't funny! I didn't mean that! Stop!'
I told her not to fight it, she'd just gone up a notch in my books.
To this day, she hates when I tell the story. It's friggin' hilarious though.
UpsideDownwardSpiral [OP] 2 points 2y ago
These little jewels happen in life, sometimes against our will (in your sisters case here). So we might as well enjoy then!
letspaintthesky 1 points 2y ago
I just brought this joke up the other day to her-same reaction 4 years later. Just chill, sis. It's funny :L
NotUnique234 7 points 2y ago
I love making little subtle blind jokes.
One of my favourite times was on a mission trip to South Africa- we were in a church and the speaker was like “oh I’m so blind without my glasses” to which I whispered “same”
My team cracked up and no one else knew what had happened (my favourite part is being able to keep a straight face throughout)
Another few of my favourites:
“See you later”
“No I won’t...”
It’s a bit of fun and I love it when mu friends/ family join in!
It’s not so fun when random strangers join in because it’s like YOU DONT KNOW ME!! 😂
One of my favourite times was on a mission trip to South Africa- we were in a church and the speaker was like “oh I’m so blind without my glasses” to which I whispered “same”
My team cracked up and no one else knew what had happened (my favourite part is being able to keep a straight face throughout)
Another few of my favourites:
“See you later”
“No I won’t...”
It’s a bit of fun and I love it when mu friends/ family join in!
It’s not so fun when random strangers join in because it’s like YOU DONT KNOW ME!! 😂
OutWestTexas 6 points 2y ago
I make blind puns all the time. Friends and family laugh. Strangers are usually appalled or speechless which makes it even funnier to me b
Midget_Katt 6 points 2y ago
Our household was moving and I was helping best I could. Carrying light things to the trailer. And well i slipped on hit my knees on the rock driveway. I tripped over a tree limb I obviously didn't see. And someone hollars out "hey you didn't see that?". He later apologized for being insensitive and I waved it off. It was funny to me 😂
DrillInstructorJan 6 points 2y ago
I'm so angry I'm seeing red. It's a miracle.
There's a worthwhile to this too. When you meet one of those rare people who is really thrown and weirded out, if you can make them laugh you can make it okay.
There's a worthwhile to this too. When you meet one of those rare people who is really thrown and weirded out, if you can make them laugh you can make it okay.
UpsideDownwardSpiral [OP] 2 points 2y ago
>I'm so angry I'm seeing red. It's a miracle.
I'm stealing this.
I'm stealing this.
ukifrit 3 points 2y ago
I make jokes like these. Sighted folks get uncomfortable, which is quite hilarious by itself.
siriuslylupin6 2 points 2y ago
Sure I can drive I can drive you up the wall. Haha! Or I just thought of one, I can drive sure. I can drive you up to heaven.
I mostly do word play stuff but I don’t even do that like every moment of the day just sometimes.
I mostly do word play stuff but I don’t even do that like every moment of the day just sometimes.
NovemberGoat 2 points 2y ago
Back in one of my high school science classes, my teacher pulled something up on the smart board. When he asked if everyone could see it properly, a chorus of yesses rang out, followed by a single no from me.
More recently, I was making my way into a pub and accidentally bumped the side of a guy who had clearly been drinking for hours. When he told me to look where I was going, I let him and everyone else within earshot know that I was doing my best. .
More recently, I was making my way into a pub and accidentally bumped the side of a guy who had clearly been drinking for hours. When he told me to look where I was going, I let him and everyone else within earshot know that I was doing my best. .
Pegasaurus8 2 points 2y ago
Lol. Yes.
RedditForBlind 1 points 2y ago
I've heard so many over the years that it is hard to keep finding good ones. Although, one caught me by surprise. One night I was being clever and had a lot of intuition and kept impressing people with my remarks. One girl said that this must be my fifth sense. It had been a while since I laughed a blind joke.
blackberrybunny -1 points 2y ago
Nothing wrong with having some fun. Not at all.
But I think as you get older, and with age comes wisdom and refinement, you'll grow to realize that those things you are saying are more tacky than funny. They are so cliche'. So used up and dried out. And in a way, it almost makes you sound resentful of your blindness. I'm not trying to sound mean or snotty. I just used to be the same way, and now when I look back at myself, it is embarrassing that I used to crack the same corny jokes. They are the kind that makes you roll your eyes, they are so tacky. Maybe I'm as assh\*le for putting it like this. If so, please flame me, as I will deserve it. I just have more wisdom and couth now that I'm getting into my senior years.
But I think as you get older, and with age comes wisdom and refinement, you'll grow to realize that those things you are saying are more tacky than funny. They are so cliche'. So used up and dried out. And in a way, it almost makes you sound resentful of your blindness. I'm not trying to sound mean or snotty. I just used to be the same way, and now when I look back at myself, it is embarrassing that I used to crack the same corny jokes. They are the kind that makes you roll your eyes, they are so tacky. Maybe I'm as assh\*le for putting it like this. If so, please flame me, as I will deserve it. I just have more wisdom and couth now that I'm getting into my senior years.
DrillInstructorJan 7 points 2y ago
They are tacky. It is desperate. I do resent it. I live with it, but don't ask me to like it.
blackberrybunny 5 points 2y ago
Listen, I know exactly how you feel. I have resented my blindness me entire life. What makes it even harder is that it is so obvious that I have a problem because I have severe exotropia. Lazy eye. Cock-eyed. I have had to live with the cruel comments and jokes from peers. Now I'm older and I just DGAF. It's not important anymore. What IS important is doing what you want, and being happy. Having happiness in this life, that is what you should attain for. And of course, having someone who loves you-- your best friend, mate, lover, significant other, whatever you want to call it. Nothing else will matter in the end. I also recommend having a best friend who is a dog. That is unconditional love right there. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband who adores me, and also, my beagle, who adores me too. I have no kids, so my sweet beagle is my heart. You don't have to like your blindness. But you can embrace it. You've GOT to, because there are no other options. I understand how you feel. I'm pretty sure all of us here in the subreddit do. We've got your back!
DrillInstructorJan 2 points 2y ago
Oh I'm fine don't think I'm not, I'm just realistic. I never sugar coat it. I am very lucky to have been in a very stable relationship for a long time and the thing that scares me more than anything is the fact that it is likely I will outlive him.
I'm not a dog person, I'm a cat person. My cat cautiously agrees I am generally adequate. This is about all you'll get out of a cat, and you have to let her exercise her claws in your tender areas, but it's worth it!
I'm not a dog person, I'm a cat person. My cat cautiously agrees I am generally adequate. This is about all you'll get out of a cat, and you have to let her exercise her claws in your tender areas, but it's worth it!
blackberrybunny 1 points 2y ago
I just celebrated my 18th year anniversary of marriage to whom I think is the best person on the planet, and he is 11 years older than I. How he has put up with my estrogen fueled mood swings is a miracle, haha. I too fear more than anything else that I will outlive him, as you feel about your significant other also. Where we live, it is very rural, and there are no buses or trains, or even taxis here. My biggest fear for decades has been that I'll be all alone, and stuck. My 4 best girl friends, the ONLY friends I have had, but they were the best four women, they all died within two years of each other, each of cancer. My whole world is me, my husband, and my mom, AND my sweet beagle. By all odds, I'll outlive all of them. And I'm scared to death.
I LOVE cats too! I do have two cats, and now a third. One just showed up out of nowhere yesterday, the sweetest and most lovable tuxedo cat. She is not scrawny, but I don't know WHERE she came from. Our neighbors are cows and pine trees, literally. I've always had cats my entire life. My first pet was a Siamese, whom I named Rosie. I have a few strays who stick around, so they are family too, and even though I feed them well, they are too shy to let me pet them. But I have Puma and Casper, and it looks like now also this sweet tux kitty. She just showed up on our anniversary, so that feels so auspicious and sweet.
You are right--the love from a cat is certainly worth it. They don't always give it freely, like a dog will. Each is special, in their own way.
I LOVE cats too! I do have two cats, and now a third. One just showed up out of nowhere yesterday, the sweetest and most lovable tuxedo cat. She is not scrawny, but I don't know WHERE she came from. Our neighbors are cows and pine trees, literally. I've always had cats my entire life. My first pet was a Siamese, whom I named Rosie. I have a few strays who stick around, so they are family too, and even though I feed them well, they are too shy to let me pet them. But I have Puma and Casper, and it looks like now also this sweet tux kitty. She just showed up on our anniversary, so that feels so auspicious and sweet.
You are right--the love from a cat is certainly worth it. They don't always give it freely, like a dog will. Each is special, in their own way.
coarsing_batch 2 points 2y ago
That is a fair point.
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