Disability is complicated, mostly because of how our society is constructed. We're raised to think there is a right way to do things. You grow up, you drive yourself to work, you do the cooking, or maybe your partner does, in which case you work very hard. You do not ask for help.

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But what that fails to take into account is that even if you achieve that very narrow definition of independence, you're still relying on people. You most likely rely on other people to educate your children, to stock the shelves at the grocery store, to pay your wages.

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Being disabled, whether that's because of blindness or another reason, can alter those things. You might take the bus to work, or maybe you are unable to work. You might pay someone to assist you with cooking, because you have a disability which makes lifting pans from the stove almost impossible. Perhaps your partner does most of the cleaning. So you didn't achieve that independence. But you contribute. Maybe you read to your children every night. Maybe you are the calming person that your partner needs because they are internally dealing with chaos. Maybe, you never forget to reach out to people and ask them how they are.

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I don't think independence, in the way we typically view it, should be the goal. Independent choice should be. Having the choice to get training so that you can learn to cook, or use a computer as a blind person. Having the choice to use a cane, a dog, take human guide. And it can be frustrating. I'm ok with where my life is at, but that doesn't mean there aren't moments where I feel sad. When I walk into a room and can't easily identify where there are free seats. When I wonder if it's harder to connect with people.

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You have to get to a point where you stop beating yourself up and realise that honestly, the so-called perfect life we're taught to aspire to achieve is honestly out of reach for so many people. Whether because they're disabled, economically disadvantaged, live in a country where access to basic services isn't guaranteed. It's ok to ask for help, and to give back to people in other ways.

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I also agree with people who say that trying to live somewhere where there is good public transportation is definitely ideal. You can't drive, so the next step is to look at how you can get from place to place and go where you want. It's also likely that cities will have better employment prospects, if you are looking for work.

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Sorry this was a bit scattered, I think there are a lot of threads to this.

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Couple things about this. I'm 95% independant. I'm the bread winner, I run a successful software operation and make decent money, I'm an excellent cook, I can do the dishes, I can do the laundry, etc.

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However, it is a pain not being able to do things like just walk over to the nearest 7/11 and grab a slush. I don't even know where the 7/11 around here is, let alone where the slush machin inside of the store would be. That part does suck.

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However, I do my best to take it in stride, and use my blindness to make me a stronger and more empathetic individual. Then if I'm ever feeling down, I just pick up the phone, call some friends, and listen to their issues. Their issues make my blindness seem smaller, and definitely help with my emotional state.

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Being 100% blind is definitely VERY difficult, but at the same time, everyone alive has their own legitimate problems in life. If you're ever feeling down, pick up the phone and give someone an ear. It helps me at least.

I'm very independent, but I live in a city and I have a job and a sighted partner, who honestly really doesn't do anything specific for me but find my airpods when I inevitably lose them. I do 95% of the cooking, sometimes I send her to the store for specific stuff, but I also do most of the shopping. If you can find some way to swing it, move to a city, unless you find some way to make big bucks and just take Uber everywhere it seems like it would be hard to be independent in a rural area without driving, at least in the states where everything is laid out in that terrible sprawl.

I've accepted that, as a totally blind individual, I'm dependent on others for a lot of things, some of which I might actually be able to accomplish alone but not without sacrificing quality of life, which is the most important thing for me. I act like this now because back when I had sight I was always eager to help others. That doesn't mean I think the world owes me anything, it just means that, because I've gone out of my way to assist others in the past, I don't feel bad when others go out of their way to assist me, but I don't resent when they choose not to either, as nobody is obliged to provide assistance.

It can be frustrating. I try to do what I can on my own and only ask for help when I really need it. I will walk somewhere if its possible even if a ride would be much faster. Its about being in control of what you can for me. I like being on time and if someone drives me I don't always control when I arrive etc. If I walk I have control for the most part of when I arrive.
I really just try to focus on what I can do and know that people in my life understand that there are certain things that's just easier for them to do. For example, living with someone you just find your own tasks. There are lots of different dynamics as well and I try not to assume that I am not doing something based on my vision.
Be as independent as you can safely be and screw the rest, no one chooses to be blind and we shouldn't feel guilt for what we can't do when its a vision based tasks. In my opinion anyways.

I have good kinesthetics skills and I am one of those if there’s a will there’s a way type of person. Survival of the fittest!!!!!! I have a very tough and assertive and go get it type of personality. I am quite independent ride the buses live in the city, when there’s no pandemic do everything pretty much by myself.

At the moment I am a bit frustrated and angry and people can get in my way.

I'm totally blind but I was born done. I can do most everything because my Dad who's also blind taught me how to do home tasks. I'm in college now and it works. I get help when I need it and my support system is great for me partly because I am doing private school. I've come to the conclution that if I can not do something, I'll just hire it done. Can't drive? Hire a driver or my ideal a chopher. I can cook but its too stressful so I'll just hire it done but in general, its not too hard.

Nothing frustrates me more than not being able to do something on my own, to the point that I will consciously make 99% of my life-decisions, big or small, based on if I can do things on my own or not. It’s a real problem of pride.

I feel dependent a lot of the time, but the best advice I've heard is that everyone requires some help and the best thing in society is to be independent but interdependent, helping others when they need it so they will help you when it's required.

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about driving? I feel allright since I wouldn't have the money to buy a car for myself if I wasn't blind. A lot of sighted people also don't drive, you know.
As for other stuff it's mainly a question of learning and pushing yourself to do stuff your family might not like you to do by yourself due to overprotective concerns, for example.

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I only just recently lost my site, so I understand how you are feeling. The struggle of feeling like you can’t do anything that you used to be able to do is a very difficult pill to swallow. I know this won’t help but hang in there things will get better you will be able to do things that you used to do on your own eventually.