I started losing my vision right after college. My girlfreind of 5 years couldn't handle my vision loss. She felt that I was somehow holding her back as we started going on less dates (less camping, less exploring, etc)

So I lost my vision during a marriage and a few years later we divorced. There were many factors that stemmed from my vision loss, but I can’t say it was my vision loss specifically that caused us to split.

- I became dependant on my wife. What started as a partnership turned into a support situation that neither of us wanted.

- when I had vision, we both had equal income. It took almost three years of surgeries and recovery before I was in a place to work again, and by then we were both burnt out.

- depression on both sides. I was the driver in our house and losing my ability to drive dealt a huge blow to me emotionally and mentally. Damage like that damage festered for years. I became distant, withdrawn, and angry. She did the same. By the time I went to therapy, it was too late for us.

What did I learn?

- it’s a two-way street. We had equal responsibility to maintain the relationship and because lack of communication we both dropped the ball.

- I don’t blame her. I used to, but I don’t now. She dealt in her own way and she did try very hard, but the stress of that (and other factors) finally got too much and she made a very hard decision.

- I’m a better person now. I learned through therapy and trial and error how and with whom I spend my life. I’m currently with a new person who is extremely caring, supportive, and empathetic. I laid out my situation and life expectations on our first date, and everything has been amazing.

Who and where I am now is a far cry from the depressed man standing on the edge of a bridge almost a decade ago.

I don’t have any advice for you beyond to be honest and communicate clearly. She may be checked out already and I’m so sorry if that’s the case - some people decide it’s too far gone and too late, and when that’s the case, it’s worth looking at where your personal values lie and what you want out of life. You deserve a partner who sees you as just that: a partner. You deserve love and equity and support, and so does your partner.

Whatever comes next, I truly wish you all the best and know you’re not alone.

It’s very common or a lot of friends leave unfortunately losing vision shows you who your true friends are.

Do you want a “canine companion” or a guide dog? I have a dog that I keep for companionship. I love having him.

Tysm for your personalized comment. Sounds like you actually have 'love' between you and your spouse whereas I'm still looking for it after 19nyears and entering into this transition phase without proper love and support. In the end I'll have to do what's best for me either way and those around me will acclimate or not. Wish it was misu derstandings more than an inmate inability to accept the reality of our life together. Much love and blessings!

I found I have to be very specific about my vision problems and what I need. I think because I’m still sighted but having newer problems, I just start to shut down instead of saying “I need to hold your arm” or “ does that say _____?” I also had a long talk with my husband about how there is a very real possibility of me losing significant vision and how scary/stressful my exams are. I think explaining that even check ups for some of my issues (retina) are exhausting/stressful etc and that helped a lot.

This sounds like you need to split up for the best.

If she wasn’t treating you right over the years, why have 4 kids or did this stuff happen after?