if you're concerned that you might not want to be with him solely because of his blindness, perhaps you aren't going to be a good SO.

Why would he need to retire? Blind people can work.

I ...am having a bit of trouble following your mindset, OP.

On the one hand, you want to support this person. Help them through what will inevitably become a journey. From what I understand of your post and subsequent comments, he will have to give up his current job.
On the other hand, though, it feels like you haven't really been informed (correctly) about what living with a visual disability is and will be like.

I'm not saying you or your SO didn't do research, I can't judge that, nor do I want to. But what I am noticing in your writing is a lot of the rhetoric that an able-bodied, so-called " normal" person would use to justify why losing one's sight would mean one's life is entirely over.

And this is where the seeming contradiction happens. You want to help this person, who you are in love with, but you can't be with them if they lose their sight, because of several reasons you mention.

One thing you mention is having kids, which I don't really understand as losing sight or going blind entirely would not in the least stop you from having children. I know blind single moms who are doing fine, so if that is genuinely a concern you have, I don't think the vision loss is the big culprit here.

Yes, this person's life will change if they lose their sight. No, their life will not end, nor will it necessarily greatly diminish, even if your instincts, your friends and even your and their family tell you it will.
I would say, talk to each other. Know there are people with a disability that are both living fulfilling lives and willing to help. Make a list of concerns, and compile information on those concerns, from sources who actually have the authority to speak on those concerns. That means people with a disability, not friends in both of your circles and I would even caution against reaching out to blindness organizations as in my experience, a lot of them like to pander to the whole " look how incapable, fragile and helpless the blind people are. We need money to help them, to cure this awful disease! No seriously give us money".

Come to places like this, where actual blind people can tell you what we've all had to learn through trial and error. I dare say ...we know what we're talking about by now. Reach out, ask questions, and be open to having your world view altered. Dare to be wrong, as that is the quickest way to learn what is actually right.

I’m 26m and visually impaired so I’m not sure if this will be entirely relevant since I’m not totally blind. I don’t think your fears are invalid, but I think it’s important to avoid putting the cart before the horse in a situation like this one. Blind/VI people are perfectly capable of living normal, independent lives.


For context, I’m legally blind and live alone with a high-paying career. I live in a walkable city with good public transit and generally live a pretty normal life in a lot of regards.


He’s going to have to learn how to do some things differently and it’s gonna be tough, but it’s not like he’s going to devolve into a vegetable who isn’t capable of doing anything by himself. I have friends who are nearly or totally blind and they’ve been all over the world, make really good art, have stable careers, and so forth.


There may be some concessions that you have to make, sure. Are you okay with the potential of not living in the middle of nowhere? Are you okay with having to be the person who drives when you go out of town? There will be obstacles, sure. That said, he’ll learn how to live and independent life with or without you and I’d really make a point to avoid letting “what if’s” stand in the way of something that could be really special.

My SO is blind. There's going to be a lot of pain and grief when his eyes get bad. If you're uncomfortable to ride through that as an SO then don't. Just stay friends.
Listen to him. Be patient. It's a process. Just like grieving a death of a loved one.
Mine lost more of her sight a few years ago. She had to re learn how to draw, get a bigger monitor. She was terrified of not being able to be an artist as that is a big part of her life and income. Luckily, her eye pressure is stable again.
IDK what his condition or prognosis is...
Likely, he won't lose all his sight as being 100 percent blind is rare. However, I'm making assumptions without any information.

If you live in the US, the economy really sucks for kids.

r/antinatalism

r/lostgeneration

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