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Blind and Visually Impaired Community

Full History - 2021 - 01 - 04 - ID#kq3yn9
25
Thousands Of Questions (self.Blind)
submitted by [deleted]
[deleted]
ira_finn 21 points 2y ago
For now, focus on sound based toys and tactile toys. Get toys that have different textures on them, lots of textures on one toy and several toys with one different texture on each. Get teddy bears and other stuffed animals that have talk-boxes in them.

Start reading to him and keep reading as he goes through school. As he gets older and can ask questions and have conversations, make sure to describe what is on the page (for picture books).

As he gets older and is able to describe what he sees, you can try other things. Like if he can see bright lights, or colors, etc, look for toys that can accommodate that. For example, a light bright might be a good toy if he can detect some light because it's also tactile.

When he's older and choking isn't a hazard, try things like Legos, kinex, and kinetic sand.

Focus on what he *can* do. Don't go out of your way to discourage him from doing something just because you assume he can't do it. Find alternatives, find accommodations, focus on working around his abilities. Overall, acknowledge his struggles and support his differences, but remember that he's just a normal kid. Blind people can do anything a sighted person can- except see. So really, the sky is the limit.

It's ok to feel lost, frustrated, scared, or anything else. Don't forget about yourself and your needs. Reach out to other parents of kids with disabilities, especially parents of blind kids. There's a world of support out there and it's really important you can access that as well.
bradley22 20 points 2y ago
Once you get the tumour removed, don’t coddle him, look after him sure, but still let him do chores, let him make friends, and this is the most important, try to let him cook.
niamhweking 10 points 2y ago
Bright noisy toys! For babies you can get toys that when the baby kicks them they will light up or make a tune so he will learn cause and effect. Baby proof the house a little more than for another toddler, glass tables, patio/french doors. And windowsills that over hang, janey my kid whacked her head off those so often. Nursery rhyme CDs. Let him climb & run! Dont coddle for sure. Contact perkins if you're in the US. And the Oregon project for the blind is a great list of milestones for certain ages, obviously all kids are different but it does help as a guide and for ideas what you could do with him! Good luck and even asking the questions means he's in good hands
Y_am_I_balding 9 points 2y ago
It is assuring that caring parents like you do exist.
[deleted] [OP] 9 points 2y ago
Thank you but I'm not exactly father of the year. I couldn't keep my marriage together, and I'm only now just getting sober.
Y_am_I_balding 8 points 2y ago
It's never too late.
intellectualnerd85 7 points 2y ago
Foster as much independence and self reliance as you can. People can misguidedly think low vision and blind people aren’t as capable as those with vision.
paneulo 4 points 2y ago
Agree with most of the above. A couple more thoughts: Teach social skills. If he's doing something that is making him stand out, and not in a good way, make sure he knows. Ultimately, you don't want to shame, but just make sure he knows. I know that this is somewhat of an unpopular opinion in a world where everyone is supposed to be special and unique, and the greatest thing ever, but the reality is that the less one is able to fit in, the harder time they're going to have of it.

Again, the idea is not to stifle his individuality, but just educate him so he knows how to fit in with polite society.

I'd also recommend you read as much as you can. I recommend the old issues of Future Reflections, which is the magazine published by the National Organization of Parents of Blind Children. That organization is definitely one worth getting involved in.

The other thing you probably need to do is go out and meet some competent blind adults, so you know what you should be aiming for.

Good luck with everything. It's for sure a challenge, but certainly not the end of the world.
zersiax 4 points 2y ago
This is a tip for the future really. This does not apply yet, right now.

But what I see a lot in parents of visually impaired/blind children, including my own, is that they are , frankly, more worried about the blind/VI child than about other children, either their own or the blind/vi's classmates and other peers, because the blind/vi child is more vulnerable, more prone to being robbed/attacked/kidnapped/mugged/what have you than other children.

While that may be somewhat accurate, going with that rhetoric is a very slippery slope. It makes sheltering the person, having teachers keep an eye on them, invading their privacy to make sure nothing untoward is happening etc. easy to defend. It makes it easy to listen to so-called experts about children, experts about the disability rather than your child's concerns.

As a person having grown up that way, I can say that going through my formative years that way has left serious damage and stunted my growth quite a bit before I finally did move out and had to make up for lost time as it were.

I would say this is good parenting advice in general but even more so for this particular case, allow them to make mistakes. Allow them to learn from such mistakes, don't keep everything that might hurt them away from them because they will be severely ill-equipped to handle the world, and their self-confidence will either be terrible, or overinflated, because it has never been tempered by anything.

I'd say what is super important is to keep in mind that the person you are raising will have a different, equally valid and in no way necessarily diminished view on the same world, and that is the view they are going to have to mature in order to make it anywhere :)

For now I would say work a lot with sound and touch. Toys that make noise, games that maybe involve tunes or songs or so ...stuff like that? :)
wheresmyglasses12 3 points 2y ago
My TVI told me not to go to college in a big city and wasn't too happy I chose to. My regular class teachers told me it was dangerous, and was I sure I wanted to do that? I went anyway and it was the best decision of my life. Sometimes your kid will know their capabilities far more than the people around them will. :) Anyway, this is all great advice.
[deleted] [OP] 1 points 2y ago
He has a brother that's only 10 and a half months older than him, I don't want to treat them differently. This is definitely a issue I have to really think about and pay attention to.
zersiax 2 points 2y ago
It's very much a listening game at that point. My parents had my brother chaperone me places a lot, take me along with things he was doing etc.
Obviously that will happen in most families up to a point, and if people are ok with that it's no problem at all, but when it becomes the expected or mandatory thing that isn't good :)
Please, if you ever want to, feel free to message me privately and I'd be happy to give you my take on things down the line.
siriuslylupin6 2 points 2y ago
Well treat him like any other kid. Regular toys could work too it all depends and also each blind baby differs the most vivid thing I remember was I was technical ever since ever. Why does it work that way how does it work? I would investigate my toysy. If I was good enough I would probably break them apart. Haha! I investigated how to play with them and what was the methodology. But each blind kid is just like every person. Some of the toy suggestions are good but regular toys trucks cars or whatever you get boys and baby’s may be good too.
Early-Time 2 points 2y ago
I was born with cataracts and didnt get glasses soon enough. Doc says a lot of my vision loss is the brain having not developed visual processing.

My advise would be to look into glasses as early as possible if you have already. Not for current use but so his brain can develop visual processing. Might be worth asking eye doc about that one
[deleted] [OP] 1 points 2y ago
We got him glasses in I believe September. It didn't seem to do anything for him, and at my wife's insistence I stopped putting them on. It made him fussy. He can't sit up on his own and spends a significant amount of time on his back being changed, fed, napping or pushed in a stroller and it causes the glasses to slide all over his face and he can't readjust them. None of this an excuse, I wasn't aware that vision that could be regained could also be lossed by not wearing the glasses. Going forward any time he spends with me he'll be wearing his glasses. Thank you for that information.
Early-Time 2 points 2y ago
I would ask eye doc about it at least, just be sure. I’m no expect. This is just what I’ve been told about my own vision. Sounds great that you at least have glasses available. Best of luck!
lalalinnb 2 points 2y ago
Someone else said this, but tactile toys are incredible and honestly there are a lot of them out there on Amazon, especially. My brother just lost his vision 2 years ago and I get him some tactile things to help keep him busy and he loves them even at his age. As he gets older, there are a lot of tactile games like Connect Four and they make braille cards, too.

Get him enrolled into a school for the blind or some sort of comparable classes as soon as he's old enough. We should have tried to get my brother to go sooner but we didn't and it's taken a toll on him and his confidence. Don't do everything for him. Let him make mistakes. Let him do things a child would do, and correct or help him when he needs it. Obviously this is a little different for a child, but I wish I wouldn't have coddled my brother and tread so lightly around him two years ago when he first went blind.
LadyAlleta 2 points 2y ago
Try really hard to not baby him too much. Make sure he has to do homework and chores and join clubs and sports. Many blind people are not able to be independent because they grew up where their parents did everything for them.
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