Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Getting rides from family (self.Blind)
submitted by bigmiracle
Gm everyone.
Asked my sister to picke up and take me home on her way back from work a few weeks ago which she's done in that. Even through WhatsApp I picked up on the hemming and hawing. She's the best and I love her no matter what but..
Took a ride with my mom yesterday and asked 8f sister ever said anything about picking me up being difficult. She beat around the bush with me for a few and i said, Ma, out with it.
She told me a few weeks ago sister said it was out of her way and she doesn't get why I need to go to an 0ffice and why i don't just work from home.
She also led on that sister has difficult accepting my situation and it depresses her. So now, i have mom tg who's around a few months at a time who helps as much as she can, a sister who really seems doesn't want to make herself available, cousins in another area 9f town. Wife if you've seen my posts is the number one who doesnr deal well with things.
After that revelation yesterday about my sister i realized it's me and the Big Man above. I can't rely on almost anyone around me for help. When I do I feel about bothering them. No one says the words, it's no bother, my pleasure, tell what I can do to help you more.
Independence is my only focus and game and always needed to be.
I keep the office bc it's a quiet place where I can work and think, doesn't cost me an arm and leg and i still feel like I'm getting out of my house each day and having a l8fem my sister would rather i sit in my house every day,
People have no clue how much we crave independence and to feel like everyone else. What hurt me lost 8s my core family, none of them are getting it,
I've trained myself to beore calm and say ty even when I don't need help. What frustrates me is when I specifically ask for things to be done a certain way bc it's easier for me and it's not usually accepted. Often they debate there way is better. Have a peaceful, happy, healthy successful day, year and life!
Much love, bm
Asked my sister to picke up and take me home on her way back from work a few weeks ago which she's done in that. Even through WhatsApp I picked up on the hemming and hawing. She's the best and I love her no matter what but..
Took a ride with my mom yesterday and asked 8f sister ever said anything about picking me up being difficult. She beat around the bush with me for a few and i said, Ma, out with it.
She told me a few weeks ago sister said it was out of her way and she doesn't get why I need to go to an 0ffice and why i don't just work from home.
She also led on that sister has difficult accepting my situation and it depresses her. So now, i have mom tg who's around a few months at a time who helps as much as she can, a sister who really seems doesn't want to make herself available, cousins in another area 9f town. Wife if you've seen my posts is the number one who doesnr deal well with things.
After that revelation yesterday about my sister i realized it's me and the Big Man above. I can't rely on almost anyone around me for help. When I do I feel about bothering them. No one says the words, it's no bother, my pleasure, tell what I can do to help you more.
Independence is my only focus and game and always needed to be.
I keep the office bc it's a quiet place where I can work and think, doesn't cost me an arm and leg and i still feel like I'm getting out of my house each day and having a l8fem my sister would rather i sit in my house every day,
People have no clue how much we crave independence and to feel like everyone else. What hurt me lost 8s my core family, none of them are getting it,
I've trained myself to beore calm and say ty even when I don't need help. What frustrates me is when I specifically ask for things to be done a certain way bc it's easier for me and it's not usually accepted. Often they debate there way is better. Have a peaceful, happy, healthy successful day, year and life!
Much love, bm
Clunny 12 points 2y ago
Hey OP I have a similar problem. I recently got in a fight with my brother and he told me to “drive myself if I ever want a ride again” it hurts
bigmiracle [OP] 3 points 2y ago
Sorry man
[deleted] 8 points 2y ago
I don't have advice, only commiseration. My husband gets blown off by people all the time. They invite him to do things, and then want him to find a ride to meet them - no one will pick him up. I drive him to work and home on the days he works, and anywhere he needs to go when we are together, but if he's at work and needs a ride to get some lunch, or I'm at work and he has an appointment or just wants to get out...he just has to Uber. No one will help. I've had to order Grubhub for him to his work because someone will say they are going to take him to get lunch and then they just decide not to and sorry man sucks to be you. It really breaks my crayons. I feel for you and I am sorry your wife is struggling so much with this and your family.
viceroywaffles 8 points 2y ago
Can I just say this is the first time I heard "breaks my crayons" and I love this as a phrase. I shall repeat it at my earliest convenience.
[deleted] 3 points 2y ago
Stolen from another post. I think it needs to be The New Thing.
bigmiracle [OP] 1 points 2y ago
You're a very good person! Keep supporting and helping your husband best you can. Every act of kindness is appreciated!
[deleted] 2 points 2y ago
Thank you. He tells me thank you all the time, but I signed up for this. I hope that your family will come around for you. Independence and productivity are key in my opinion.
bigmiracle [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Husband was low vision when you met?
[deleted] 3 points 2y ago
Yes. diabetic retinopathy. I won't say I knew what I was getting into, but honestly considering he has a 15 degree field of spotty vision and only one eye...he doesn't let it slow him down. He did so much before he lost his sight he's not afraid of much anymore.
Whereami259 5 points 2y ago
I'd like to chime in since I've been in position of your sister (not exactly about blind person,but somebody else who cannot drive). It gets frustrating when it is 2pm, you are in a rush at work and it seems that this day is going on for too long, then you get a call "hey, can you pick me up at 4?" , which now means that you must go around and lose another hour to get this done. You get home and you vent to your mom/wife/whoever and it might sound that it's the hardest thing in universe for you. But its not, its just that the day was sh*tty and all things combined make you a bit emotional.
Its not that I either dont love that person or dont want to support them, its just that some days are awfull and I vented it out, and to the third person it might sound like the biggest thing in the world,but it is not. I still want that person to rely on me, I still want to be helpful, but we people are sometimes emotional beings and some days are just f*cky.
Its not that I either dont love that person or dont want to support them, its just that some days are awfull and I vented it out, and to the third person it might sound like the biggest thing in the world,but it is not. I still want that person to rely on me, I still want to be helpful, but we people are sometimes emotional beings and some days are just f*cky.
bigmiracle [OP] 4 points 2y ago
Ty you're spot on. My sister actually on her own volition asked if I needed a ride this morning. It was greatly appreciated and she meant it from her heart.
dunktheball 4 points 2y ago
This is one of the thing that frustrates me most about my low vision is depending on family to take me places. For one thing.... if I ask them to t ke me somewhere oh then I have to hear their opinion if they think it's somewhere dumb or not worth going to. And also get into arguments sometimes etc...
The main city has a high crime rate here, so I am nervous about riding a bus. Many times I have nobody tot ae me anywhere or of course depending on family the times they do have time to take me. Also, how am I going to meet a woman if I don't drive and my family is either with me or dropping me off places? it's so frustrating that I go this many years not getting more independent, other than I do live alone
The main city has a high crime rate here, so I am nervous about riding a bus. Many times I have nobody tot ae me anywhere or of course depending on family the times they do have time to take me. Also, how am I going to meet a woman if I don't drive and my family is either with me or dropping me off places? it's so frustrating that I go this many years not getting more independent, other than I do live alone
AlrightyAphroditey 4 points 2y ago
Just wanted to say I'm sorry that your wife and family are not supportive or empathetic. You seem like you're doing your best. Happy New Year!
bigmiracle [OP] 3 points 2y ago
Ty dear friend, all the blessings for you and yours!
BandedeMacaques 3 points 2y ago
I dont know how much vision you have but one of my friends travelled to a driving school in like Texas that trained her how to use a special in-car telescope so that she would be able to read street signs and drive. Or you could do what I (totally didn't) do and memorize the vision chart at the DMV. Of course my strategy only works if you have enough vision to see traffic lights, people and other cars. Otherwise I 100% would not advise.
But yeah before I (totally didn't) cheat on my vision test, mobility and begging for rides was a HUGE issue in my life. You really miss out on social events / job opportunities and your family can't always be your chauffeur. And then even if you do manage to meticulously plan out how you're going to get somewhere, all it takes is one able bodied friend to last minute change the whole plan and strand you >.< Ugh i'm getting anxious just thinking about it. Bad times. I used to consider moving to a city and getting really comfortable with a metro system - if nobody has cars and you can navigate a subway, you're golden.
But yeah before I (totally didn't) cheat on my vision test, mobility and begging for rides was a HUGE issue in my life. You really miss out on social events / job opportunities and your family can't always be your chauffeur. And then even if you do manage to meticulously plan out how you're going to get somewhere, all it takes is one able bodied friend to last minute change the whole plan and strand you >.< Ugh i'm getting anxious just thinking about it. Bad times. I used to consider moving to a city and getting really comfortable with a metro system - if nobody has cars and you can navigate a subway, you're golden.
[deleted] 3 points 2y ago
[deleted]
bigmiracle [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Ty for the reply. Very sorry for the lack of support you went through. Having lived ones suffer what I am is not compensation for me. I wouldn't wish things on anyone. Just asking for more understanding and patience.
Chopstixtmfw 2 points 2y ago
I have not been anywhere I haven't walked or biked to sense oct. Family is in religious cult...
Must say I'm getting tired of the grocery store trip taking 9 hours... And btw north mn winter sucks allot
Must say I'm getting tired of the grocery store trip taking 9 hours... And btw north mn winter sucks allot
bigmiracle [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Hugs
siriuslylupin6 2 points 2y ago
I learnt early on no one is there for you do it yourself.
This pandemic makes it difficult and extremely unreliable rides here and they do it if they feel like it.
So I jump on the bus or take ride share if I need usually go with busses and trains.
This pandemic makes it difficult and extremely unreliable rides here and they do it if they feel like it.
So I jump on the bus or take ride share if I need usually go with busses and trains.
laconicflow 2 points 2y ago
Sorry, op, that sucks.
tornessa 2 points 2y ago
If may not be your favorite option, but do you have local para transit that might be able to help? We have a local bus that specifically helps people who are not able to drive themselves get around.
Drunvalo 2 points 2y ago
Howdy. Is there no paratransit service in your area? I totally relate. Often felt like a burden to family and friends. But these days... well, before covid times... I rarely rely on them for rides.
Paratransit in my area ain’t perfect but it is serviceable. Have to schedule rides at least 1 day before but it’s just a few bucks per ride.
In tandem with my guide dog, it’s how I get around 90% of the time. I even get vouchers from blind services for all rides to school and work.
Apologies if you are privy to all this. But thought it worth mention. Best of luck to you. Appreciate your post.
Paratransit in my area ain’t perfect but it is serviceable. Have to schedule rides at least 1 day before but it’s just a few bucks per ride.
In tandem with my guide dog, it’s how I get around 90% of the time. I even get vouchers from blind services for all rides to school and work.
Apologies if you are privy to all this. But thought it worth mention. Best of luck to you. Appreciate your post.
bigmiracle [OP] 2 points 2y ago
Tysm for your post. I'm cleared for oaratransit but haven't used it bc of covid. All the best to you
ratadeacero 2 points 2y ago
Do you have a local bus system?
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