Blind and Visually Impaired Community
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Need advice on how to care for a child who has lost his sight. (self.Blind)
submitted by DyanaIsntDirty
Hello everyone!
A few days before Christmas 2020, there was an incident at my (former) home. Person(s) unknown shot up my house with a .45, and one of the bullets came through the window and injured my best friend’s son. The bullet entered in one side of his temple and exited out the other side, miraculously missing his brain, but unfortunately destroying his eyes. He just turned 6 years old a few days ago and had started kindergarten last fall, but because of what happened, he’s been left permanently blind.
It’s honestly a miracle that he didn’t sustain any brain damage. And although I know it’s sad and frustrating for him to have lost his sight, he is young and can still learn how to live a productive life.
However, I personally have only met a few blind people in my life, so I’m reaching out to this community in the hopes that you all may help me. I babysit him often, so I’m curious if there’s anything you all could share with me that would help me or him whenever he’s with me.
I struggle with wanting to help him, as in getting him whatever he asks for, holding his hand to walk with him, etc., but I also know that he needs to learn to be independent as well. He’s only 6 and lost his sight a few days before Christmas, so it hasn’t even been a whole month yet. But I just need help/advice on how to care for him without doing too much or if that’s okay at this point....
I probably sound really stupid, but I just don’t want to baby him, but I also don’t want him to try to do too much on his own and end up getting hurt.
If anyone would be kind enough to help me out with this, I would really appreciate it. Thanks to you all!
A few days before Christmas 2020, there was an incident at my (former) home. Person(s) unknown shot up my house with a .45, and one of the bullets came through the window and injured my best friend’s son. The bullet entered in one side of his temple and exited out the other side, miraculously missing his brain, but unfortunately destroying his eyes. He just turned 6 years old a few days ago and had started kindergarten last fall, but because of what happened, he’s been left permanently blind.
It’s honestly a miracle that he didn’t sustain any brain damage. And although I know it’s sad and frustrating for him to have lost his sight, he is young and can still learn how to live a productive life.
However, I personally have only met a few blind people in my life, so I’m reaching out to this community in the hopes that you all may help me. I babysit him often, so I’m curious if there’s anything you all could share with me that would help me or him whenever he’s with me.
I struggle with wanting to help him, as in getting him whatever he asks for, holding his hand to walk with him, etc., but I also know that he needs to learn to be independent as well. He’s only 6 and lost his sight a few days before Christmas, so it hasn’t even been a whole month yet. But I just need help/advice on how to care for him without doing too much or if that’s okay at this point....
I probably sound really stupid, but I just don’t want to baby him, but I also don’t want him to try to do too much on his own and end up getting hurt.
If anyone would be kind enough to help me out with this, I would really appreciate it. Thanks to you all!
eddie_the_shit 23 points 2y ago
He's going to get a lot of help in school. Line you said, it's been less than a month since he was shot in the head and he's 6 years old. This is the perfect time to hold his hand even when he's *not* crossing the street. Comforting a traumatized child directly after the fact *will not* harm them.
There'll be plenty of time for him to pull his socks up. Right now he needs to know that he's safe and looked after.
There'll be plenty of time for him to pull his socks up. Right now he needs to know that he's safe and looked after.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 9 points 2y ago
Thank you for your reply and I definitely agree about holding his hand. Honestly he’s such a good kid and we are lucky that he’s in relatively good spirits given everything that has happened. I’m sure when he gets older we may deal with some anger from him, but for now his mom kind of explained to him that the only options for this scenario were either he is alive and blind, or dead... the doctors told us that if the bullet had been half a centimeter to the left or above where it hit then he would have most likely been brain dead. Since that conversation with his mom, he’s been handling things pretty well. He has his moments where he gets frustrated, of course, but he’s taken it a lot better than either of us could have imagined.
stupidpoopoohead 10 points 2y ago
I’m the mother of a blind daughter and national level advocate for blind children. I would be happy to speak with the family. PM me and I’ll send you my contact info.
To clarify I don’t charge for my services.
To clarify I don’t charge for my services.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 4 points 2y ago
Thank you! I’ll do that now. :)
80percentaccurate 8 points 2y ago
Do you live in the US? Once he returns to school he will get a functional vision evaluation and will start services with a TVI (Teacher of Students with Visual Impairments), and O&M Specialist (Orientation and Mobility Specialist). He doesn’t need to go to a school for the blind if his family doesn’t want him to. His home school should be set up with everything they need to help him get the most out his education. This was a very traumatic event. Hopefully he is getting therapy in order to work through what has happened. For now, I would say just be there for him and his family. Later, once he starts to heal and move on with his life, be excited for him as he learns new things. Ask him about what he’s learning. Challenge him to try things the other kids are doing. Just take it one step at a time.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 3 points 2y ago
Yes, we live in Kentucky. And I definitely agree with you on the therapy. I think his mom got that going last week. And she was glad that his school is letting him continue on there, but for now everything is virtual, so I’m not sure when he will get the TVI and O&M specialist. But his mom was going to wait until he was older to talk to him about the school for the blind because she was told that here in KY they like all of the students to live in campus, so she was going to let him make that decision a few years down the road as long as he is able to remain at his current school.
80percentaccurate 5 points 2y ago
He can absolutely still go to his current school and vision services should start now even though they are virtual. His family should write a letter to the special education director of his school explaining his visual impairment and requesting an evaluation for services from there, the school has 10 days to send them paperwork to sign and start the process, 60 days from when the paperwork is signed to evaluate him, and another 30 days to develop an IEP and plan for him moving forward. So it could take upward of three months to get him into the programs he needs. I’m a TVI/COMS and I’m currently teaching some of my students remotely including young kiddos who are still learning braille and can’t yet use a computer on their own. We have ways to get creative! You also have the American Printing House for the Blind in Kentucky. They’re an excellent resource for assistance.
Billy-Ruffian 3 points 2y ago
So the great news about being in Kentucky is that APH is right in Louisville ( next door to KSB). Some of the best folks in the world are there. If I recall from the news, you're in Lexington. FCPS is a big school district with a lot of resources, so you should have no problem having access to the right TVIs to help get an IEP and stay in a mainstream classroom is that is the right choice.
My biggest piece of advice is to make sure braille instruction starts early. It's critical for getting good jobs in the future and opens up a lot more opportunities. When Covid ends come to Louisville and there will be plenty of inspirational people to meet at APH and KSB.
My biggest piece of advice is to make sure braille instruction starts early. It's critical for getting good jobs in the future and opens up a lot more opportunities. When Covid ends come to Louisville and there will be plenty of inspirational people to meet at APH and KSB.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Yes we are in Lexington. And thank you so much!
TeamRedwine 6 points 2y ago
Your instincts are good.
Take care of him, but let him know he can still be independent. Help him figure out ways to be successful with help first, then gradually reduce the help to let him build confidence.
There are a lot of resources online for parents of blind children. The National Federation of the Blind has a group of them that provide support for each other.
School should connect him with a TVI and OMS. Teacher for the Visually Impaired and Orientation and Mobility Specialist. These people will help build his skills for accessing the world.
Take care of him, but let him know he can still be independent. Help him figure out ways to be successful with help first, then gradually reduce the help to let him build confidence.
There are a lot of resources online for parents of blind children. The National Federation of the Blind has a group of them that provide support for each other.
School should connect him with a TVI and OMS. Teacher for the Visually Impaired and Orientation and Mobility Specialist. These people will help build his skills for accessing the world.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 4 points 2y ago
Thank you so much. His mom and I were wondering about his schooling.... we weren’t sure if he would stay at his current school and have a helper or if it would be required for him to go to a school for the blind, so I definitely appreciate your reply. We are kind of winging it at this point, lol. But thank you for your response!
IronDominion 3 points 2y ago
Yes. These services can be obtained through the school district (but some poorer districts may not have them) or through the government in some countries. If your in the US, I can help point you in a more specific direction based on your state.
Edit, I see your from Kentucky. I would look into the Kentucky Office of Vocational Rehabilitation / Blind Services Division, they are the place to go for services form the state. Sometimes they do not offer these services until adolescence or adulthood, but it’s a good thing to look into now. Here in Texas, our offices do serve children who are in school, so hopefully it is the same there.
Edit, I see your from Kentucky. I would look into the Kentucky Office of Vocational Rehabilitation / Blind Services Division, they are the place to go for services form the state. Sometimes they do not offer these services until adolescence or adulthood, but it’s a good thing to look into now. Here in Texas, our offices do serve children who are in school, so hopefully it is the same there.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 2 points 2y ago
Cool, I really appreciate the info. Thank you!
DrillInstructorJan 3 points 2y ago
What everyone else has said. But I just want to emphasise, stay in mainstream school, and make sure the handholding doesn't last forever.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 1 points 2y ago
I have to say I agree!
rumster 3 points 2y ago
Where are you located btw?
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Lexington, KY
rumster 2 points 2y ago
Please contact https://bcbky.org and let them know your situation. They have great programs that might be able to help him with his age group. VIPS is located in the area too which you should have the parents contact ASAP.
https://vips.org
https://vips.org
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Awesome, thanks for the info!
margauxrita 2 points 2y ago
My daughter is 1.5 years old, and visually impaired. It’s been a journey so far and it’s just getting started. Just reaching out to you in case you need any advice/help.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 2 points 2y ago
Thank you! I really appreciate that!
bradley22 2 points 2y ago
Don’t coddle him, tell his family they need to help him cook and things like that when he’s older.
siriuslylupin6 1 points 2y ago
That’s very unfortunate sorry to hear. That’s pretty bad.
I would say don’t baby him. And encourage full independence I am totally blind and have lived a very full life and very fulfilling but yeah. So that’s all I would say. Don’t baby or. Coddle him. He may be blind now which is unfortunate do to an accident that was needless but that doesn’t mean that his life is ruined or anything like that his entire life is still in front of him. So continue as he did as if he wasn’t blind.
I would say don’t baby him. And encourage full independence I am totally blind and have lived a very full life and very fulfilling but yeah. So that’s all I would say. Don’t baby or. Coddle him. He may be blind now which is unfortunate do to an accident that was needless but that doesn’t mean that his life is ruined or anything like that his entire life is still in front of him. So continue as he did as if he wasn’t blind.
TheBlindCreative 1 points 2y ago
What everyone has said is great. This might be a odd thing to hear considering that this is all so recent, but it might be helpful to help him and even his parents decide what they want to say when someone asks why is he blind. While no blind person owes someone an explanation for their vision loss, the question will come up. They can say that they don’t feel comfortable talking about it upwards of the actual cause or something made up altogether.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Thank you for that because you’re definitely right, it’s not something we think about and it will come up before we know it.
LaurenRossy1 1 points 2y ago
My heart goes with you, him and his family. I actually, can't help you much with my advice, but I wish you guys the best during this hard new process of adaptation to his new life. I wish I could be a better help, but all I can say from now and from my knowledge on the subject, which is quite small, you guys need to support this child until he recovers from this huge change on his life. Progressively, you can start helping him on being more independent, but not all of a sudden, because he needs to adapt himself.
Best of luck, hugs and kisses. My heart goes with you.
Best of luck, hugs and kisses. My heart goes with you.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Thank you so much.
rumster 1 points 2y ago
One of the subscribers of this sub went through a similar situation himself. I msged him and hoping he gets my message to check this thread out.
DyanaIsntDirty [OP] 1 points 2y ago
Thank you for that!
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