My friend is going blind and fast. What can I say? What can I do to support him?(self.Blind)
submitted by Dentelle
One of my best friend (in his 50s), a super sporty guy who loved travelling on his bike, is going totally blind and it's coming really fast. He lives alone. He's just about to retire, so he's facing the prospect of being very lonely, needing help, and basically a complete change in what made him, him. He's putting on a brave face, but I know he's scared and depressed. What can I say to him? What can I do to support him? Because of COVID, I can only have limited contact and cannot really come in his house. I'm at a loss...
RelativeBite6 points2y ago
Be willing to be an ear if he wants to talk about how he is feeling. This is super overwhelming. When Covid is over, offer to take him out. If you are going anywhere - offer to pick stuff up for him. There are supportive facebook groups, where everyone is going through similar things. Is there an organization for blind support in your area?
Not_An_Echo3 points2y ago
Hi! You could reach out to American Printing House for the Blind's ConnectCenter. They have resources for those with recent visual impairment diagnoses as well as for adults with vision loss.
andakarana3 points2y ago
Talking walks in nature with the right distance wouldnt let covid be much of a problem. You can make him feel that he's not lonely, cuz you git his back. Also, you can start bying him audiobooks, and start to talk about the issue so he pases this faze of feeling bad, and get used to the fact that he is gonna be blind. Help him with whatever he needs in terms of blindness.
TheBlindCreative2 points2y ago
This can be a hit or miss depending on the person, but it can help your friend to feel comfortable being vulnerable by being vulnerable about something yourself. As someone who has dealt with blindness and other medical issues, I have found that some people feel that they can’t come to me about hard things since they assume that my issues are already hard enough. As a result, I wouldn’t feel safe talking about my struggles since they weren’t vulnerable with me. It is a vicious cycle until someone speaks up.
Also help with logistical things. Don’t just say empty gesture things like, let me know if you need anything. Be more direct. For example, if you are going to the store, ask him if he wants to come with you to get his own groceries too (post covid of course). I don’t know the extent of his vision loss, but introducing to assistive technology like screen readers or screen magnification. He might like an Alexa and some Audible credits.
Help him stay active. After all of this craziness ends, go do sports activities together. I am not an athlete, but maybe try running together or something.
Help him find vocational rehabilitation training too. He has plenty of life to live to travel and experience things. With cane training and other skills, he can continue to do so much.
siriuslylupin62 points2y ago
He won’t be able to ride bikes not like he use to at least but he can still do a lot!!!!! I am totally blind and it’s not the end of the world I do a lot myself and it’s quite possible to do so.so I say encourage him tell him to learn his skills well and as soon as he can. He doesn’t have to be down on his luck as a blind person I’ve traveled widely know my city, been really active could play sports if I want go everywhere do everything. Etc..... I would say blindness should not stop you do you have to stop and retrain yes and adapt yes. But life can be had and quite a bit.
Low_Supermarket85972 points2y ago
There is help available if he is ready to accept the help (not an easy adjustment). The National Federation of the Blind is a consumer group with an excellent reputation--they have state and local affiliations. Have a look at the website for World Access for the Blind. The CEO, Daniel Kish, is blind and is world famous. Erik Weihenmayer is totally blind--he climbed Mt Everest with a team of friends (also wrote a book). There are so many variables--each person is unique. I wish your friend the best.
FantasticGlove1 points2y ago
Poor fella. He's just gonna need to here from you. Yeah, trainthe iis great and all and he will need it, but he just needs you right now.
Sweet_strawberries31 points2y ago
Just show him that you're there to support him through it all and aren't going to abandon him. Going blind was a pretty traumatic experience for me and I can't imagine living 50 whole years with sight and then losing it. He will be feeling a lot of emotions and I think it would be great to show him that you are willing to be there for him and really listen. The will be resources available for him when he's ready to help him learn how to live and cope with becoming blind. Maybe do some research and gather some info about that for him, Again, when he's ready.
I think it's important to make him understand on some level that while it will be very difficult, this isn't the end of his life. Tell him that there are cyclists who are blind and there are multiple options available to him that will allow him to continue cycling also. I rode my bike last week and I only really have light perception!
Dentelle [OP]1 points2y ago
Woah, you really can bike? He'll be really interested in learning how to go about doing that? Do you need to be partnered? Does it need to be indoor cycling?
Sweet_strawberries31 points2y ago
Well indoor cycling is an option. Most blind people opt for tandem bikes but I know that probably isn't something he would enjoy if his independence is very important to him while riding his bike, at least not yet. I either do that or I take my regular bike on a secluded trail where I live and I take it slower than sighted people do, all with my guide dog there (he can't really help with it but it gives me comfort that he's there haha), it's good there because there are no ledges for the concrete trail, meaning if I move onto the grass/dirt accidentally I can move back to the trail easily. I did walk through it many times with people and ride through it with someone first so I knew the layout. I also have my long cane out in front of the wheel sometimes but that's kind of silly I guess. I have had accidents but I manage.
Something safer that he could do is go out with someone and ride (this is better to do while he still has some vision left) and have them help him with directions, just an idea 🤷🏻♀️
If he is interested in tandem look into local organisations that have volunteers help with that, or you could do it with him!!
BlueRock9561 points2y ago
50 and working. I'd recommend he goes train at a rehab center for the blind ASAP. Everyone is at different stages of their life, and I believe that the sooner someone receives training, the sooner they'll have independent living skills, travel skills, adaptive technology skills, and much more... In which state are you in?
ElewingF1 points2y ago
I am visually impaired. I may not be losing my sight, but my sight fluctuates a lot. What I can say is it is going to take time for acceptance, but everything he did before he went blind can still be done just in a different and sometimes more interesting way.
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