Sighted person looking for an answer to this question:(self.Blind)
submitted by NotThatSerious26
So, years ago I watched a TV series focused on the hearing impaired and there was a big emphasis on the fact that deaf people don’t necessarily have any interest in gaining their hearing back (or hearing in general if they were born deaf) and it’s offensive to assume that they want to hear. Do you or anyone you know feel this way about being blind? Do you ultimately wish you could see? Or do you feel like blindness is part of who you are? Do you understand both sides? Do you not understand one side? I’m genuinely curious as to what your thoughts are on this topic and I’m excited to read your responses. Thank you :)
retrolental_morose7 points2y ago
I was 100% satisfied with my life as a blind person and would have even gone so far as to donate the healthy parts of my eyes to people if it had been needful and medically viable. Then I had a child. Now, I'd try anything to gain some vision: not, as sighted people seem to think, to see my child's face - what good would that do me? I've never seen any faces - but the Spontaneity of her life is quite curtailed by my disability.
I don’t regret having a child in the least. We have a fantastic relationship, I believe myself to be a reasonably good parent, and know with certitude that I am doing a better job than my own family did raising me. Nonetheless, the restrictions imposed upon me by total blindness living where I do and with the life skills that I have learned do mean that adjustments are needed to the way I would like to live my life as a father, and it is for that reason that I would, if I could, undergo any procedure to fix my broken eyes.
Obviously having never seen, the adjustment would be as much psychological as physical. There are so many concepts of sight that fail to penetrate. I can’t deny the prpospect intrigues me from an intellectual level as well. But my main impetus would be parental.
Interestingly I never felt this way about myself, nor about my partner, who went into the relationship aware of the limitations life had placed upon me. I am almost certain that, if life does go on as it inevitably will and my child grows up, leaves home and finds a life away from me, I will once again be content to life without any vision.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Wow that was insightful. Thanks so much for the response!
siwy4don5 points2y ago
I've been blind for 5 years and I'm 26. It changed my life, but for better and I'm a happy man and I don't really think much about regaining my sight. Life is too short for that. I'd rather progress with my life and focus on now and the future, not the past.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Thank you for your response! Great perspective.
CloudyBeep1 points2y ago
How has it changed your life for the better?
siwy4don7 points2y ago
I stopped plying pc gmes for the whole day, I lost 38 kg in two years, I started to care more about myself, I've become more active, started dating girls, playing cello, improving myself, learning languages and for one year I've been training long distance running. :) I want to do more, I want to kmow how to do things like ironing, loundry etc, so no one can tell me that I can't do it because I'm blind. Back then I'd be too lazy.
CloudyBeep2 points2y ago
That's amazing. Well done and keep at it.
[deleted]1 points2y ago
I'm very curious: how do you doing with the meetings? I need as many details as possible. How do you invite that girl to the meeting, how do you meet with girls as blind people, how they get over your disability, what should you do blind during the meeting in addition to what a typical person?
siwy4don4 points2y ago
Mostly it starts with tinder. There's a blind youtuber Molly Burke, and she made a video about her tinder dates, so I thought let's try it. Of course I give likes to most of the profiles because I can't judge the photos. I don't have any information that I'm blind in the description, but I try to reveal that to them on some point, but not straight away hey I'm blind, but I try to do it in a funny or a smart way. I had different reactions. Quite common is "how do you text me then?" or this kind of questions, some are cool about it and curious, and few times girls just unmatch me or stopped texting but that's a rare behaviour. I always want to talk with them on a voice chat or just normal phone call, so I can hear their voices and see if we can keep the conversation without the awkward silence. Then we meet. Sometimes they're stressed that they'll say or do something wrong. I meet with them at places I know how to get to or at tram/bus stops. I show them how to guide me, explain why it's me holding them by the arm and off we go. As to what we do, well, normal stuff, going out, dinning, chilling and watching netflix (in my case just listening, but they describe me scenes) etc. If you accept yourself and smile others will aswell, really:) Of course you'll meet a person from time to time that doesn't accept that you're blind, but who cares, it's their loss. :)
ryan5165 points2y ago
To an extent, I don’t want my sight back, but I’d argue it’s different than it is in Ddeaf communities. Blind people aren’t a coherent cultural group the way Deaf people are — we don’t have a common Blind specific language, and we don’t usually have the same types of community gatherings. There are definite differences from sighted folks, but not in any coherent fashion.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]2 points2y ago
I actually REALLY wondered about this too but didn’t include it in my question because I wasn’t sure how to word it. I’m definitely more educated on how the deaf community interacts with one another, and I didn’t want to assume either way whether the blind community had something similar going on. I’m glad you cleared that up for me.
siriuslylupin62 points2y ago
Feel free to ask questions. And yeah, most of us just do our own things many people loosely know others some do and some don’t a lot of people know me in the blind community if I came out and say who I was. I am pretty well known and to a pretty good extent respected and looked up to even by blind people so yeah. Some people just think I am something else but depends who it is.
DrillInstructorJan4 points2y ago
I lost my sight at 19 very suddenly, I'm now more than twice that age so I'm very much used to it and while it doesn't ruin my life, I would absolutely take a cure any time one came along.
It's not really about seeing sunsets and rembrandts, it's about the amount of work it creates dealing with it. I work as a session musician and that means traveling around to different places to work on things often several times a week. I may have picked out an incredibly unfriendly career, I guess, but that's where I am
I've said a lot that it's like having a whole extra job just dealing with it, a job you would never choose, can never quit, have to do 24 7 and don't get paid for. Then I have an actual job on top of that. This will be unpopular but I sometimes think that people who don't care about being blind haven't really thought very hard about this stuff and maybe don't have very demanding jobs. I fall into bed every night just absolutely wrecked and it took a while to figure out why that was, because I'm basically doing two jobs the whole time.
So yeah I'd take the cure just because of the ridiculous amount of extra work it is, but I'm never going to stop doing it because frankly I like having a life.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]2 points2y ago
Thanks for sharing. I really like this response. I think it’s really cool that you pursued a career that interested you regardless of how taxing it is. I don’t think your opinion is unpopular at all. Most of the responses I saw on here that were in favor of staying blind was mostly geared toward the attitude of not wanting to wish for something you can’t have, or not wanting to go through a risky procedure. Aside from that, it appears that the consensus in general tends to be that if you could magically have your sight back tomorrow with no effort on your part, most people would take that chance. (Once again that’s in general, I know there are some people who’d disagree with my generalization)
Ironman5454544 points2y ago
Speaking second hand, but for my wife I think it’s more that she knows it’s something she can’t have, so it’s depressing to be reminded in conversations about it. It’s like asking a short person over and over if they wish they were tall.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]2 points2y ago
That’s what I always thought when I watched the show I was watching. I thought “Do you actually think you’re better off being deaf or have you just adapted to the current situation and accepted the reality of it?” But the show was pretty adamant that it’s offensive to assume anyone would prefer to be able to hear so I figured I must be missing something. I can say from personal experience of life in general: there are so many things about myself that I’m sure I’d change if this were a perfect world, but I wouldn’t change anything about myself because I love me and every experience I had made me who I am. While that’s true, I highly doubt that if I were literally given a golden ticket to be able to change anything about me, I wouldn’t use it. I think it’s entirely possible to love yourself as is and think you’re perfect the way you are... but also sometimes feel your life would be easier if you didn’t have to deal with xyz whether it be a disability or a physical or personality trait or whatever else.
xteriic4 points2y ago
Typically people born with visual impairment show this type of thinking.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]2 points2y ago
That’s more or less what I thought but I didn’t want to make any assumptions. Thank you for your perspective.
Alaisha3 points2y ago
I'm totally blind. I don't really want to be able to see, as I've never seen things before anyway. That being said, I wouldn't mind if I could try it out first, like an experiment. I also have Asperger's Syndrome, and I have no idea what throwing sight into the mix would do where that is concerned. If I could try it, and then decide I don't like it and would rather stay totally blind, that would be cool. Then I could say I've had the experience, and would know what people are talking about when they mention this or that thing and/or color.
Br0shaan1 points2y ago
As someone sighted (atleast as of writing this, sad face) i dont think aspergers impacts vision much. But i really prefer boring colours like gray white and black because they arent annoying. Strong colours like cyan or pink or highly saturated colours are annoying. I think normies are more okay with all colours
Alaisha2 points2y ago
Well with Asperger's, we have problems with getting overstimulated by sounds or smells, or in fact by things seen. As a totally blind person with Asperger's, I think if I could suddenly see, I would get overloaded, overstimulated, so yes, Asperger's would play a part in my case.
Br0shaan2 points2y ago
I got "after wise" as we say in sweden and noticed i literally contradicted myself haha. There is probably a reason why i prefer dull colours
Alaisha2 points2y ago
Lololol no worries. It's all good haha. Sometimes it's easier to fully see things in perspective when someone else says it.
siriuslylupin63 points2y ago
Totally blind since 8 couldn’t see much before. I do fine, I think I would have to adjust and adapt all over again sight is a muscle you have to use it.or lose it and get overstimulated and confused. I am fine, don’t have a strong desire to see again, and there’s almost if not truly impossible for me to see again. If it’s possible it will have to be a God thing. And if so maybe it would be sensorially interesting. But that’s about it. I live a pretty full life do everything and pretty capable. So not really don’t want it. I understand the other side but not a huge fan of it.
I remember I did like colors and seeing things so I may like it but don’t miss it too much. I did like sunrises and sunsets but I am that type very immediate perception type of deal. I can still be very sensory. For me at least everything I do in self development puts me at very kinesthetic or sensory so yeah. I won’t bring other stuff in here that is not related I am in to other stuff that isn’t related to blind stuff but yeah. I’d probably like more adventurous stuff maybe more sporty or go surfing or something like that. Or like sight seeing and like seeing sunsets in different places or wonders of the world. Not tourist traps. I greatly enjoyed kaleidoscopes and prisms.
I don’t let blindness stop me at all though very capable blind person here. As if I do almost everything and integrate in to the sighted community well. Very strong willed adventurous person here. Many stories to tell..
I’ve done a bunch of rep and community work. A bunch of advocacy.
Went surfing once and absolutely loved it..was an instant hero when I kept going after a two foot wave covered me for a minute or 2 and then came up and kept going.
Went to the eastern seaboard here in the us by myself for 2 weeks and had a very pact schedule from historical to political site visited 5 states and a property if you count the property as a state then 6. The sights were not close but I was able to get on transport and do it. I did at least 2 or 3 average a day. Never been to these cities but picked up the transport systems really quickly and got a hang on how it works. Etc....
I live a full and active life pre-pandemic I was out everywhere very difficult to find me online. And I had no time for the online world.
[deleted]3 points2y ago
I'm blind from birth and I wish I could see. That is, 80% of the information is visual. This says it all. I could play video games and generally make my life a lot easier, plus some things I can’t do blindly at all, like cycling or figuring out what my face looks like.
If my retinopathy of prematurity could be treated and the operation would cost up to 75,000 euros for each eye, I will raise money from the pension and I will definitely try this.
Oh, I was going to forget: watching movies and documentaries about space is still an interesting activity that I could do. I know there is audio descriptions, but I don't know English at all.
bradley223 points2y ago
I was born completely blind but I can see light and outlines
I’d not mind seeing to play videogames and to make my life quite a bit easier but I doubt something will come out for people like me cause of our type of blindness.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Thanks for your response!
bradley221 points2y ago
No problem.
LadyAlleta3 points2y ago
I was born legally blind and it's been stable my whole life. But I would 100% want to see normally if I could. Being blind has cost opportunities and made sighted people automatically dismiss me/my abilities for jobs and connections.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]3 points2y ago
Thanks for your answer! I think this is the first one I’ve seen from someone who was born blind who’s answering that they definitely would want their vision back. I hear you on the lost opportunities. So many people seem to think that because there are disability laws in place that people are no longer being discriminated against but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
K-R-Rose3 points2y ago
As someone who does not know what good vision is like, I have never once TRULY wished to be “cured.” Of course, everyone thinks about it just like everyone thinks about what it would be like to be the opposite sex, but I’ve never really wanted it. I am content with my life as it is, and yes, I would say it is part of my identity and what I want to do with my life. I don’t need perfect vision to be happy, and therefore I am content to stay as I am. But is it offensive to think I want a cure? Yes, if people keep pushing it even after I explain this to them. I don’t have a problem exp,inning this once or twice, but I will get angry if someone refuses to listen or doesn’t try to understand.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Oh wow thanks for the thoughtful response! I thought the point about wishing to switch genders was a really interesting comparison. I’ve actually always wanted to do that but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t be me and my life wouldn’t be what it is if I were a different gender, so as you said, I couldn’t imagine just up and switching if I had a magic wand.
Thank you as well for your point about whether or not it’s offensive. I definitely hear you on that. I don’t particularly remember whether the show said it was offensive to ask/assume in the first place, or if it was ONLY brought up in the context of corrective surgery as an alternative. (I watched it like 10 years ago but If I’m not mistaken, it was both.) I 100% see why it would be ridiculous to assume someone would jump at the chance for surgery or just want to change who they are, but I’d hope I don’t offend anyone by simply asking in the first place, as I did here in this hypothetical scenario. I really appreciate everyone’s responses here! I’ve actually never had the opportunity to interact with a visually or hearing impaired individual for an extended amount of time where I would’ve been able to ask this question in person.
K-R-Rose1 points2y ago
PM me any time you want with questions. Always happy to answer anything. But I’m glad you’re asking and not assuming. My instinct is to be mad at the person for asking, but I know that I’m just being defensive. There ARE some conditions that can be corrected and people choose not to. Mine can’t be, and I sometimes forget that others don’t know that
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Thanks again! I definitely try really hard to educate myself where I can because I find that people have a tendency to form an opinion and stick with it without ever asking someone who has first hand experience. I find that I’m much more likely to be happy to engage and educate someone in a conversation if someone’s just asking what my experience was instead of assuming.
K-R-Rose1 points2y ago
Oh yes. I strongly agree. Thanks for being a good human
the-cat15132 points2y ago
I became blind shortly after I was born, so I lived my whole life being blind. If I had the opportunity to recover my sight I would take it immediately. I suppose it would require extensive therapy or who knows what, but the benefits that sight would bring me in my day to day, economically and so on would be enormous.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Thanks for your response! Happy cake day!
[deleted]2 points2y ago
[deleted]
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Well said! That makes a lot of sense. Thank you for your response.
oncenightvaler2 points2y ago
Hi there, so I was born blind and only have light perception. I figure if I could gain my sight back through gene therapy or some other means that I would have to re-learn a lot of things, anything from my basic knowledge of what things "look like" to what colours are, to my letters and numbers (used to have toys that had letters and numbers as plastic figures but I probably would struggle for a good few months with that) and from what I heard the therapy would only be 60% effective short term and they did not have enough data to know for long term. So because of the re-learning aspect I feel that I am just too inherently lazy to want to be "normal"
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Oh wow this is a fantastic perspective I never thought of. From this post I’ve gathered that it’s more the people who already had sight at some point who would regain sight if they could.
In my imaginary scenario, it would be if you could literally have your sight back tomorrow with no surgery so that’s not factored into my hypothetical, but I can DEFINITELY see why relearning everything would be an exhausting trade off compared to just living how you’re used to.
magouslioni6902 points2y ago
No. A disability is a disability and a disadvantage and it would be great if it was gone.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Thank you for your response!
CosmicBunny972 points2y ago
I can’t speak for others, but I don’t care much about regaining my sight back. For context, I do have a bit of sight but it’s very little (I can see, say, my hand close up, contrast between white and dark colours). My cornea is scarred and I don’t have a lens in my right eye and I’m completely blind in my left eye. For my right eye, I’m sick of having my vision change every couple of years and I don’t want a cornea transplant or sclera lens. Both seem too painful. I’ve been completely blind in my left eye since birth. Although it’s frustrating at times, I like me blind and I like my life.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Thank you for your response! Really informative.
CosmicBunny971 points2y ago
I apologise for the ramble :P but you’re welcome.
BodachanS2 points2y ago
As someone whose vision has deteriorated over my life I can say I wish I could see as good as I used to which was still white bad, but I don't know what vision any better than that would be like so I can't really imagine it. I look at books I used to be able to read but now cannot even with certain tools and it saddens me knowing that I used to be capable of something and how I could perform certain tasks now if my vision was at that level even though it's still a relatively bad level of vision I long for.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]2 points2y ago
Thank you for sharing your experience! I imagine it must be extra difficult to have the ability to see (albeit not well) and then losing the little sight you have. Once again, I really appreciate the thoughtful response to my question.
grinchnight141 points2y ago
Being able to see would suck. I'd have to learn how to read and write and what things look like, plus how to drive. No thanks.
NotThatSerious26 [OP]1 points2y ago
Thanks for the response! Someone else brought up the point about repeating everything and I’ve definitely see why that would suck.
grinchnight142 points2y ago
Like I don't wanna learn all that, I've gone all my 21 years without site, I don't need it later
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